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Pokemon Diamond Adventures

T

Thomas-san

That guy...
Joined
Feb 21, 2005
Messages
94
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1
This is my comic of the adventures of two trianers in a new reigion. It has all new cities and routes and characters....the main characters are Dan and Kelly

Dan is a really sarcstic type guy who only hangs around with Kelly cause she is always around him

Kelly is a really hyper and kind of childish girly girl who love to hang with Dan even though he is not really that interested.

Issue 1- Kelly gets a pokemon
Part 1
Part 2
 
Yeah, I just realized this. :p I went into the art section to find it and it wasn't there. :p
 
To be quite honest, those strips do not seem to have much comical value. Sure, not everyone can do that kind of thing well, but the least you could have done for those strips was to use proper spelling and grammar.

My suggestion to you is that you type it up in MS Word first, and proofread it. Use proper punctuation. It would also be nice if you could put more thought into making it funnier. That might take some time, yes -- I get the feeling that for those two strips, you simply wrote down everything from the top of your head.

I liked the "2 minute workout" line, though. :p I experienced a lot of that myself.

The graphical presentation is not bad, either.

I shall be looking forward to your next issue. I hope you will keep what I've said in mind and work harder. :-D
 
Well go read my other comic in this forum and see if that one is funnier.
 
I agree with Kadabra's post. I thought the grassaphobia thing was stupidly amusing.
 
stupidly amusing
Click to expand...
What do you mean by that?
proper spelling and grammar
Click to expand...
I checked all the spelling and grammar is ok, except for a period and a apostrophe. And on this next one I took out the quotation marks.

Issue 1 Part 3

136ck.png
 
Stupidly amusing means it's stupid funny, not a bad thing. And yes there are typos. Anyways, it was alright. I like how the attacks were shown.
 
As I've said before, proofread your dialogue. For example, the mistake: "Kelly. Over hear!" should be obvious. Also, there are obvious punctuation mistakes all over; it's your responsibility to find those.
 
Get a grip, it is a damn sprite comic, not a freaking published work. *kills all neat freaks*
 
Not neat freaks. Some people may read it but then notice the mistakes and be turned away from it. We're pointing the mistakes out to help.
 
Sorry to divert from the topic, but I have a question for Thomas-san: What anime does your signature image's (ghost?) characters come from? Or is it just invented fan art?
 
You could have just PM'd me but that is Ed and Al from Full Metal Alchemist. THey are not ghosets it is just thier "extravagant suprised look" :p
 
inuyasha, that's Ed and Al from Full Metal Alchemist. I think they got scared of something. :-D

Thomas-san, why would people bother reading your comic if you haven't bothered making an effort? Making mistakes is okay, but I look down at people who have the "It's not worth the effort anyway, so I won't bother." mentality. What Belldandy says is also true. However, if you're going to keep this childish attitude towards work, I won't bother looking at your strips. After all, I do have work to do myself. :p
 
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