Pokemon: New Heroes (PG-13, occasional strong language) Chapter 10! (Double Digits!)

[Rakarei]

Feedback is always appreciated.

New chapters when I write them.

So I've been wanting to write a fanfic for a while. I thought it would be cool to set it about 40 years after the games and anime, that way I could do what I wanted with the world and not have to worry about being consistent with them.

That being said there will be references to the games where the characters will be aged up a bit in order to better fit with my story.

So, I"m going to post Chapter One now. I might post more before the end of today, definitely more by the end of the weekend, the story hasn't really started yet.

So, contents:

Chapter 1: Look down
Chapter 2: Next Post
Chapter 3: Further down the page. How do I link to individual posts?
Chapter 4: Even further down the page. How do I link to individual posts?
Chapter 5: We still haven't gotten to page 2...
Chapter 6: Scroll down the page a bit.
Chapter 7: Further down this page. Still don't know how to link to individual posts.
Chapter 8: Oh my God we've made it to page 2.
Chapter 9: page 2
Chapter 10: page 2

Chapter 1: Enter Hero​

It was a beautiful day in Pewter City. The sun was shining; and there was a pleasant breeze. Pidgey and Spearow flew peacefully overhead. To anyone but George Smith, it was a great day to be playing outside with one’s Pokemon.

But George didn’t have any Pokemon. And at 15, it was looking like he wouldn’t ever get his own. All of his friends got theirs when they were 11 or 12. To George, it seemed as though it was to late.

It wasn’t George’s choice to not get a Pokemon of his own and go on an adventure. It was that George’s mother needed him at home.

12 years ago, George and his mother fled One Island for Pewter city to escape the war that was going on. The Sevii Islands were fighting to gain independence from Kanto, and the fighting was about to reach the stronghold on One Island. George’s father, who was an Admiral in Kanto’s navy and commander of the One Island defensive blockade, had ordered all civilians evacuated to the mainland. That meant George and his mother. George’s father would never join them. His flagship was sunk during the battle, he was never found.

So George’s mother needed George around to help earn money to keep them afloat. George knew that and didn’t complain, but he would sometimes find himself looking at his friends with their Pokemon enviously.

Then, one day, one his way to work at the Pokemart, Goerge saw a large crowd surrounding the Pewter Museum. He stopped to watch them, and it soon became apparent what was going on. The crowd parted, and Professor Oak stepped out into view.

Even at the age of 90, the professor was still a lively man; although he did hire an assistant a few years ago that he said would “take over when I’m finally to old to do this anymore. HA, like that’ll ever happen”.

The crowd followed Oak and his assistant, Nick O’Connor, all the way to the entrance of town. George followed behind the crowd. As the crowd dispersed, George kept watching as Oak and Nick walked into the Viridian Forest.

George turned around. He had to hurry; he was almost late for work. As he turned around and began to run, He stepped on something round that was hidden by the grass, slipped, and fell flat on his face. George turned and picked up the thing that had tripped him.

In his hands was a Pokeball.

 

[Rakarei]

Re: Pokemon: New Heros

I know I'm supposed to post chapters every 3 hours at the most, but this one's done and I'm about to go eat dinner.

Chapter 2: First Fight​

The Pokeball wasn’t like the one’s George handled at work. It was heavier, and warm, as if it was generating heat. George turned it over, inspecting every inch of the surface. On the bottom, he found this:

PROPERTY OF OAK POKEMON LABORATORY, PALLET TOWN, KANTO

George knew he had to return it. But he had to work today. It was Friday though, and George had weekends off. He would take the Pokeball back to Oak tomorrow. For now it was off to the Pokemart. Now he really had to hurry.

When George got the Pokemart, his boss Henry was standing outside.

“There you are George. Been waitin for ya. Don’t worry bout bein late, we’re not openin the shop t’day. Some strike at the factories, we’re not gettin our shipment of goods til later this month. Don’t worry about your pay either, the guys at the top have sent out word to all the folks workin in Pokemarts that they’ll get paid for the days they can’t work cause of the strike.”

“Oh… Wow, so I have the day off?” George said.

“You’re on paid vacation til further notice” Henry replied. “Now go have some fun.”

“Oh… well, see you around then” George said as he turned to walk home.

“Be seein you!” Henry called out to George as he turned to go home himself.

“Well, now I have some time off, I should go to Pallet Town”, George thought as he walked towards the south end of town. He wondered what was in the Pokeball, but knew that he shouldn’t open it. The Pokemon inside might be upset to see someone who wasn’t its master with its Pokeball.

“I guess I should take you back to Oak now that I have some free time. Mom doesn’t get off of work at the Pokemon Center until late tonight; I should be back by then.” George said to the Pokeball.

The Pokeball seemed to grow warmer in response, as if it wanted to be returned to it’s home.

By then George had reached the Viridian Forest gate. This was as far south as he could remember being.

“No sense in turning back now…” George thought as he stepped into the forest.

Inside the forest it was much darker. Little sun got through the canopy of trees. George began walking south; he had seen enough maps to know that was where he needed to go. With each step the forest grew darker, and the surrounding noises grew more frequent… and sinister sounding. Every once in a while George thought he saw out of the corner of his eye a pair of red eyes staring at him through the trees, but when he turned to look, there was nothing there. George could also hear buzzing, but the source always seemed just out of sight in the dense forest.

Just then George tripped over a root that was sticking out into the path. As he was getting up, the buzzing sound that had been following him grew louder than ever. George turned to look at where it was coming from, and what he saw made him melt with terror. A fully-grown Beedrill was charging right at him. Not knowing what to do, George got up and ran as fast as he could. But the Beedrill was gaining. George hurried, not wanting to know what the Beedrill would do if it captured him. He knew that Beedrill didn’t have a reputation for being friendly.

As George turned a corner in the path, he tripped on a rock and dropped to Pokeball. Knowing that The beedrill would get him before he could get up, George sat there and awaited his inevitable doom.

But his doom didn’t come. The buzzing sound got closer, but stopped moving after a few seconds. George turned and opened his eyes. The Pokeball that he had been holding had opened, and out had come a Dratini. George had seen them on TV, they were very rare, and were some of the smartest Pokemon in existence.

The Dratini was staring at the Beedrill. They seemed to be yelling at each other. Then, Beedrill charged. Dratini just sat there a look of defiance on it’s face. George didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want the Dratini to get hurt, how would he explain that to Oak?

“Dratini, dodge it!” He yelled.

Just as Beedrill was about to hit Dratini with its twin needle attack, the Dratini jumped. Beedrill’s attack missed, and Beedrill kept going. Then, Dratini dove downward and Slammed Beedrill into the ground. Then, it turned back to George, and seemed to make a facial expression of happiness.

“Uhh, Dratini, return” George said, holding out the Pokeball. Dratini was returned to the Pokeball. George looked around. To the south he could see a light, which he presumed was the exit. George turned, leaving the fainted Beedrill on the ground, and walked towards the light.

 

[brickwork]

Re: Pokemon: New Heros

It is a bit short, but still good. Try lengthening the chapters a bit.

 

[some colour no doubt]

Re: Pokemon: New Heros (chapter 2 is up)

As was mentioned, the chapters could do with being a bit longer, but if you include some more description it would beef your chapters up a bit.
Also, with the title, its spelled Heroes, not Heros.
Yh, so include so more description, and your chapters should be about the same size as those first two combined

 

[Thundagere]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (chapter 2 is up)

Excellent beginning chapter. You have quite a good description and this has the makings of a great story.
There were a few grammar mistakes, such as

Inside the forest it was much darker. Little sun gets through the canopy of tress.

Note that the first sentence was past tense and the second was present.
Little errors like that may be annoying, but it's good to fix them. Other than that, and the rather short chapter length, it's quite good!!!

 

[Rakarei]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (chapter 2 is up)

This one's a lot longer. This is really going to change things a bit, so any feed back is appreciated.

Chapter 3: New Allies​

George exited the forest. After being in the dark woods for so long, the bright sun was a bit uncomfortable. George held up his hand to keep the sun out of his eyes and looked around. Having never been this far south, George didn’t know where to go from here. He could see the outskirts of the city however, so he continued on.

Ever since the unification of the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh region’s Pokemon leagues 25 years ago, Viridian had grown into a sprawling metropolis. Even though the Indigo Plateau only hosted the Championships once every four years, so many trainers would pass through on those years that the Pokemart Company had seen fit to open a department store. The rest of the city soon began building up as well and Viridian grew into such a large city that it rivaled Rustborro and Goldenrod in size. Theaters were built to entertain visiting trainers; hotels were built to give them places to stay. Restaurants sprang up. The city became dedicated to serving visiting trainers.

George had never seen anything like it. Sure, Pewter wasn’t the small village it used to be, but Viridian was enormous. And what amazed him even more was that it was nighttime, the light he had seen from the forest was man made, coming from the city.

As George walked into the city, He couldn’t believe his eyes. Everywhere, there was light. Stores advertising themselves, restaurants attracting potential customers, movie theaters with their bright neon signs, it was all new to George.

As George turned a corner, he looked down the street. Although it was night, the city was still extremely crowded. There was a joke made in other towns, people in Viridian had to go on vacation to get any sleep. But then George saw what the crowd was there for. Oak and Nick had just emerged from The Golden Magicarp, one of the fanciest restaurants in Viridian. They had just hailed a taxi, and George knew that if he didn’t catch up to them here, they would leave for Pallet Town, and he’d have to go all the way there.

George ran up to the crowd and started pushing his way through. People were beginning to disperse anyway, so George had an easier time getting through. However, as he caught sight of the professor it looked as though it was too late, he and Nick were stepping into the Taxi.

“Professor, wait, you dropped this Pokeball back in Pewter!” George yelled.

“What! Who’s that? I dropped something? Impossible, Nick carries all my stuff for me!” Oak had turned around and was looking in every direction for the person who had yelled out to him.

George ran up to the professor. Oak was still a lively old man, but he did carry a cane and wore thick glasses. He also walked with a bit of a hunch. However, he had never lost that imposing gaze that seemed to look into a trainer’s soul, nor the almost supernatural ability to tell if a child would be a good Pokemon trainer.

“Let me see the Pokeball my assistant dropped” Oak said, having found the source of the call. George held out the Pokeball and Oak took it, examining every inch of its surface. “Nick, come over here please”

“Yes Professor?”

Once Nick was about three feet away, Oak lifter up both his arms as if to stretch, and then brought his cane down on nicks head. Nick fell to the ground, holding his head in pain.

“Is he ok?” George asked.

“He’ll be fine, he’s used to it” Oak replied. “Now, about this Pokeball, what Pokemon was inside? And don’t lie, the seals been broken since we left Pewter, so that means you must have opened it, no?”

“Uh-um-well there was this Beedrill, and um-uh-it was an accident, and I never wanted to use it but it fell out of my hand and then it opened by itself, and I’m REALLY sorry!” George replied hurriedly.

“Calm down son! I’m not angry! I just want to know what Pokemon this is.” Oak replied, desparately trying to get George to relax. “Oh God he’s hyperventilating, NICK!” The professor’s assistant stood up, still clutching his head.

“That one really hurt professor” Nick said.

“Yeah, well this kid is about to pass out, want to have to explain that to his parents when we take him home?”

“Oh… um, look, kid, the professor isn’t angry at you, it’s just kind of important what Pokemon was inside this ball.”

“Dra-Dratini” George said, right before he passed out.

“Crap… Nick, we’re taking home with us, we need to reward him properly and all that. I can see in his eyes that he has no Pokemon of his own. We’ll need to fix that.”

“You can’t possibly mean…” Nick said.

“No, of course not, the Dratini is staying with us. I meant give him a starter Pokemon. Now lift him into the taxi.”

♢ ♢ ♢​

George woke up in a place he didn’t recognize. The last thing he could remember was passing out in front of Oak in Viridian. He wasn’t at home, so he assumed this was at Oaks house. He got up from the bed he was lying in and looked around. Not knowing where he was, George decided to stay in the room he was in and look around.

One of the walls had a window. Through the window George could see the north exit of Pallet Town. Next to the window was a desk with a laptop, next to the desk was a game console George had seen advertised in an old movie. On the other side of the window were bookshelves filled with books about Pokemon and trainers. George picked on out, it was called Ryhdon Tamer. After about half an hour the door opened. George quickly put the book down and turned to face Professor Oak.

“Ah, I see you’ve found my grandsons books. He used to love reading about Pokemon, that’s why he became a trainer. If you want you can come down stairs, I’m going to go to the lab now, It’s just across the street, you can come over when you’re ready. “ Oak said. He then left the room. Not wanting to be left alone, George followed him.

“What’s your name son?” Oak asked.

“G-George sir”

“So George, You’ve never had a Pokemon of your own?” Oak asked George.

“N-no Sir.” George said.

“Stop that stuttering, there’s no reason for you to be afraid of me, I’m a nice guy!” Oak said. “Anyway, how old are you?”

“15 sir” George replied.

“Cut it out with the sir stuff. 15 and no Pokemon of your own? Well, 15 is a bit old to start, you’ll be behind everyone else. Are you up for that?” Oak said.

“What do you mean s-“ George stopped himself from saying sir.

“I mean” the professor explained, “That I’m going to give you a Pokemon. Here’s a trainer card, you’re now a licensed trainer, so now I can give you a starting Pokemon, and you can become a trainer. Unless you don’t want t-“

“THANK YOU!!!! This is so cool I’m finally going to get a Pokemon I’m so excited!!!!!” George could barely contain himself. Finally, he would get to have his own Pokemon. He would get to play with his friends and their Pokemon. He wouldn’t be that loser who sat around while everyone else got to go on adventures anymore. George was so happy.

“Calm down! Now, there are 3 Pokemon you can choose from” Oak said as they entered the lab. “There’s the Grass type, Bulbasaur, the fire type Charmander, and the water type Squirtle. I’ll let you decide when you see them.”

The lab was full of computers and books; you could barely see the walls. Strange gadgets lined the shelves; papers were all over the desks. The place was cluttered beyond belief.

Oak walked over to the other side of the lab and picked up 3 Pokeballs that were sitting on his desk. “Come on out you guys!” he said, throwing the Pokeballs.

Bulbasaur and Charmander rushed at George immediately. They jumped up at him, smiling and yelling, trying to push each other out of the way to get George’s attention. Squirlte stayed back and leaned against the wall. It seemed to be upset, as if it had seen this same scene many times before.

“What’s up with that Squirlte?” George asked. George’s father had had a Blastoise. George could remember it in some of his early memories. He would go to the beach with his parents and ride around on Blastoise, looking at all the water Pokemon who followed them. Torrents was that Blastoise’s name.

“ Oh, him. He’s been here a long time” Oak said “Not many trainers want a Squirtle now a days it seems.”

“I pick Squirtle” George said. Squirtle looked up, surprised. Bulbasaur and Charmander stopped jumping up at George. Squirtle started walking towards George. They moved back, letting Squirtle get closer. George picked up Squirtle. “Want to come with me?” George asked Squirtle.

Squirtle smiled, “Squirtle Squirt!” he said.

“I’m going to call you Torrents” George said to Squirlte. Squirlte looked at George and smiled.

Suddenly, a Pokeball flew out of Oak’s pocket and opened. The Dratini that George had met yesterday came out. It jumped on George’s shoulder, turned to Oak, and made noise as if it was trying to talk to him.

“What, no you can’t go with him, we need you here” Oak said to Dratini.

Dratini continued to make noise. “But we’re not done with our work!” Oak said. Dratini closed its eyes and turned it’s head away from Oak. “But!” Oak said. Dratini made a loud high-pitched screech. “Arg, you’re spoiled. Fine, I’ll let you go with the boy. Maybe he can continue me research”.

Oak turned to his desk and opened a drawer with a key from his pocket. “Catch this” Oak said, tossing a little box back to George. George caught it. “Well don’t just sit there, open it”.

George opened it. Inside was what looked like a hearing aide. “Put it in your ear” Oak said.

George obeyed. Once the device was in his ear he looked at Oak, expecting something to happen.

“Over here silly” said a voice on George’s shoulder. George turned and looked at the Dratini.

“Was that… you?” He asked it.

“Yup. The professor has been working on some machine to translate Pokemon speech into human speech. He tried it first on Dratini Dragonair and Dragonite because our intelligence is closest to humans, so it would be easier to understand us.”

Amazed, George said “Wow… Do you have a name?”

“You didn’t ask Torrents that.”

“Oh… well does he have a name?”

“Not until now, no”

“Oh, well do you?” George found that bit unnecessary.

“No. But you can give me a name”

“Ok… How about… Falkor.”

“Falkor… I like it.”

“Well, I don’t mean to shoo you out, but should you get back home George?”

“Oh, I almost forgot! Mom’s going to have a heart attack!” George rushed out the door. “Thanks Professor, for every thing. I’ll never forgot this!” He called back.

Oak just smiled.

 

[some colour no doubt]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (Chapter 3 is up. It's a bit longer than the other 2)

nicks head

Should be Nick's head

Crap… Nick, we’re taking home with us,

I think you mean
we're taking him home with us,

“I’m going to call you Torrents” George said to Squirlte. Squirlte looked at George and smiled.

Yh obvious one here


Now, onto the chapter itself...
Great! the only reservation I have is you didn't explain why George passed out! If you had included more of what he was feeling, his thoughts etc, this would have made it a whole lot clearer.

I like the idea of the pokemon translator, and i like how you incorporated Dratini's evolutionary line into it.
I'm less thrilled about having two starters, as Dratini itself would have been enough, so just be careful not to make George's squad too powerful too soon.
Still a bit lacking on description! Just because people know what Professor Oak, Dratini and the other pokemon like shouldn't be an excuse for you not to exercise your writing talents and not describe them! Show your skills off and describe your favourite pokemon!
Try to incorporate it into later chapters, if your striggling on how to describe them, the articles on Bulbapedia on individual pokemon are a great help.
The length of this chapter was pretty much spot on, exactly what most people want. Not too short, yet not too long, keeping the reader hooked and not finishing too soon.


Looking forward to the next chapter!

 

[Rakarei]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (Chapter 3 is up. It's a bit longer than the other 2)

I need to proof read a bit better before I post it seems.

And don't worry about George getting to many Pokemon. I have plans on how to prevent that without it seeming weird.

I almost forgot the most importan part, which is that people are reading it and they like it! I'm quite excited about this now that people are actually looking forward to what happens next. Although that means I'm not just writing for me anymore. Better make it good, for you guys! Thanks for reading!

 

[Rakarei]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (Chapter 3 is up. It's a bit longer than the other 2)

I better not get infracted for double posting.

Chapter 4: Enter Rival​

Outside the sun was shining. Pallet Town was still the quite little town most people know it as, only a few houses, the one George had stayed the night in, one right across the street from it, and a couple more down the road. Surrounding the town were large open fields, but the only roads led north to Viridian or south to the ocean. To the west a mountain range loomed on the horizon.

“Wait a minute!” Oak ran out of the lab. He was pretty fast for an old man. “You need a Pokedex. It’s a device that has data on all Pokemon in existence on it. It’ll be useful, trust me.”

“Wow, thanks Professor!”

“Don’t mention it. Now you better get going!” And with that Oak went back into his lab.

George looked around again. In front of the house directly across the street from Oak’s house was a boy about George’s age. The boy was looking at George. He was a bit taller than George, with blonde hair and green eyes. He was wearing khaki cargo pants and a green shirt and had a black backpack on the ground next to him. He was leaning against the side of the house, and next to him was what looked to George like a white beach ball.

“Hi” George said, walking up to the boy.

“Hi. Looks like you just got your Pokedex, so you must be a new trainer. What’s your name?” The boy replied.

“Yeah, I just became a trainer today. My name’s George. George Smith. And this is Falkor, and that’s Torrents”, George said, gesturing to Falkor, who was still on his shoulder, and Torrents, who was following him. “Torrents, return”, George said, and Torrents returned to his Pokeball.

“My name’s Steven, Steven Verashone. You know, like Red Verashone, the greatest Pokemon master ever. He’s my dad. We’re here visiting my Grandma.” Steven gestured to the white beach ball at his feet. “Oh, and this is Bruce.”

Just then the beach ball turned and looked at George. It had yellow eyes, and for the first time George noticed it had little blue legs. The ball growled at Falkor.

“Is that ball a Pokemon?” George asked as he jumped back in surprise.

“What ball? Are you talking about Bruce? HAHAHA!!!!” Steven began laughing uncontrollably. “Are you serious? ‘Is it a Pokemon’. He’s a Shelgon, which evolves from Bagon. That’s a dragon type Pokemon. Once he gets strong enough, he’ll evolve into a really strong Pokemon, Salamence..”

“Oh… uh, that’s cool” George said. This guy had clearly been a trainer for a while, and his dad was an expert. No point in trying to talk about Pokemon to him, George would just get laughed at again. Fortunately, the conversation was ended. A man stepped out of the house, followed by an old woman.

“Now you two take care now, and hurry home. Kris’ll be worried sick if you two get home late. That is, if she notices. She’s probably been helping Elm with track down some rare Pokemon this whole time.” The woman said.

“We’ll be fine mom.” The man said. The woman nodded and went back inside. “Who’s this Steven?” The man turned and looked at George.

“That’s George. I was just telling him about all the cool things you taught me about Pokemon since you’re the best ever and you’re my dad and that means I’m going to be the best too.” Steven said.

“That’s a pretty rare Pokemon you have,” Red said “a Dratini. It’s even rarer than Bagon.”

“Yeah, but Bagon’s stronger, and Shelgon is strong and has good defence, so it’s better” Steven said hurriedly.

Red sighed. “Better Pokemon aren’t what you need to win Steven. Come on, we need to get back to New Bark before your mother gets worried.”

And with that Red turned and started walking down the north road. Steven looked at George, then at Falkor, then turned around and followed his dad. George was going the same way, so he started following them.

“That guy’s a jerk,” Falkor said.

“Which one?”

“Steven,” Falkor said. “Bruce told me about him. She says that all he cares about is getting stronger and doesn’t really care about the safety of his Pokemon or other humans.”

“Wait, Bruce is a girl?” George asked.

“Yeah. Apparently Steven never bothers to find out the gender of any of his Pokemon.”

“Oh…” George felt a little ashamed, he didn’t know what gender Falkor was, and it seemed weird to ask.

“I’m a boy,” Falkor said.

“Oh, ok.” George felt a little relived that he didn’t have to ask.

A few minutes passed. Then Falkor said, “This is awkward, we need to get to know each other a little bit. I mean, I know I chose to come with you, but that was because I assumed it would be more interesting than sitting around Oak’s lab all day. What’s your life like?”

“Well, I work at the Pokemart in Pewter, but right now the workers at the factories are on strike, so I’m out of a job. I’m still getting paid though.” George said “on weekends when I’m not working I hang out in town because I can’t go anywhere because I don’t have any Pokemon to protect me. Or didn’t go anywhere because I didn’t have any Pokemon.”

“And now you have me and Torrents, so you can go on adventures like a real Pokemon trainer!” Falkor said excitedly.

“Well, not exactly. My mom needs me at home so to help earn money to pay the bills. So we can’t just leave and have an adventure.” George felt bad ruining Falkor’s mood, but it was better now that later after he’d built up a lot of excitement.

“WHAT? What kind of Pokemon trainer doesn’t go on cool adventures?” Falkor yelled. “We need to do something so that you can go have a cool adventure. It’s like a right of passage!”

“How do you know all this stuff anyway?” George asked.

“I watched a lot of TV when I was living with Oak,” Falkor said.

George and Falkor walked for another twenty minutes in silence. Then, George realized something.

“I don’t have your Pokeball” George said to Falkor.

“Oh yeah. Well that doesn’t matter anyway”, Falkor replied.

“…Why not?”

“Because I broke it”, from what George could tell, Falkor had a sly grin on his face.

“Broke it?”

“Yeah. I figured out how to open it from the inside, and doing that breaks it. That’s how I got out without Oak letting me.”

“Oh. We need to get you a Pokeball then.”

“…Fine…”

It took another hour to get to Viridian. Once they got there, George decided it would be best to see if the department store was out of supplies yet, and if not buy a couple Pokeballs and some potions.

But when he got to the department store, George realized that his plans weren’t going to work. A mob had assembled outside the department store, most of them looked like Pokemon trainers. George guessed that they were there to shop at the department store as well, but because of the strike at the factories, the store was closed.

Then, George saw some one making their way to the front of the crowd. A closer look revealed it o be Steven.

“HEY!” Steven yelled. “The store’s closed, so how about all you guys leave!”

“Who says you get to tell us what to do!” One of the men in the front yelled.

“I’m Steven Verashone, Red Verashone’s son. So you better listen to me!” Steven yelled back.

“Oh yeah!” The crowd yelled.

“Yeah!” Steven yelled back. “Go, Bruce!”

Steven released Bruce from her Pokeball. “This is Bruce, he’ll make sure you guys listen to me!”

“Or what?” the man who had spoken up before yelled at Steven.

“You guys have been acting disrespectful to me for long enough!” Steven yelled. “Bruce, use Dragon Breath!”

Bruce looked at Steven with unwillingness to obey in her eyes.

“BRUCE! USE DRAGON BREATH!” Steven yelled at her.

“Stop it!” George yelled as he ran through the crowd. He couldn’t let Steven do this. “Pokemon trainers are supposed to help people and Pokemon, not hurt them!”

“What do you know, you just became a trainer!” Steven yelled back. “Prove to me that I should listen to you! Battle me here and now! How many Pokemon do you have?”

“Two” George said. George was getting anxious; he didn’t know the first thing about battling. But he had committed to stopping Steven from hurting anyone, so he had to.

“Two Pokemon eh? We’ll battle two on two then. Go, Speedy!”

Out came a little green Pokemon with a dark green tail and a reddish underbelly. It had yellow eyes with tall narrow pupils. George took out his Pokedex and looked under green Pokemon until he found it. This Pokemon was a Treeko. Treeko were native to the Hoenn region, and given out as Grass type starters.

But back to the battle. A grass Pokemon would have an advantage over Torrents, so George decided it would be best to sent out Falkor.

“Falkor, go!” George said.

“Let’s get this jerk!” Falkor said, jumping off of George’s shoulder.

The two Pokemon circled each other, glaring, ready to do battle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

*Credit for inspiration for Red’s last name goes to Glitchipedia

I wonder, does this make me a Pokeshipper? If so, does shipping Red and Kris have a name yet? If not, New Heroes Shipping. Pass it on.

I'm going to try and get on a schedule of releasing a chapter every Monday and Friday.

Also, to the like 4 people who read this, how do I link to individual posts?

 

[some colour no doubt]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (Chapter 4 is up)

great chapter
sorry only just read it been a little busy, but i like how you're having Red's son as a cocky little toerag!
As for linking the chapters sorry dude i got no idea.
Your description of the pokemon improved, but you could still do with a bit of description on the surroundings they're in.
Thats all i got

 

[Rakarei]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (Chapter 4 is up)

Chapter 5: Thought You Could Get away Without Battling Your Rival? I Don’t Think So.
​

Falkor and Speedy circled each other in front of Viridian’s department store. George didn’t know what to do, so he took this opportunity to survey the area. The trainers rioting in front of the department store had moved away to give the battlers room. This had revealed a large gassy field, in the center of which was a pond. On all sides there were tall buildings; most of them were large stores. This was obviously some kind of upscale shopping center.

“Speedy, use quick attack!” Steven yelled. Speedy disappeared with a bright flash of light. Falkor looked around, startled. Then, a green blur smashed into him from the right and he was sent flying into the air. Speedy slid to a stop to the left of where Falkor had been standing. Falkor crashed to the ground and stayed there.

Oh crap, thought George, what do I do?

“Falkor, are you ok?” George yelled sounding concerned.

“Yeah” Falkor groaned.

“What attacks do you know?” George yelled.

Falkor got up and starred at Speedy. “I can do that Slamming attack I used on the Beedrill, and I think I can hit him with a weak electric attack. If all else fails I can Wrap myself around him and squeeze him”, Falkor said.

“Use the electric attack!” George yelled.

“Here goes nothing”, Falkor said. Falkor jumped up into the air about a foot, sending a wave of electricity spreading out in all directions from his body. Speedy stopped moving, closed his eyes, and braced himself. The wave hit Speedy, after which it dissipated. Speedy opened his eyes and looked around. He looked himself over, and seeing no damage, took a battle ready stance.

“Great…” Falkor said. “Well, now we know which attack is useless.”

“Speedy, hit him with a pound attack!” Steven yelled.

Speedy began charging at Falkor. But he was moving half as fast as he had before.

“Maybe it wasn’t useless” George said as Falkor easily evaded Speedy’s attack

“Who are you talking to?” Steven yelled angrily. “Are you talking to your Pokemon? Does he answer you? Gah, you’re so childish!”

George ignored him. He had gotten the vibe that the translator was sort of a secret, so he decided not to tell anyone, especially Steven.

“Falkor, use Slam!” George yelled.

Falkor charged at Speedy, picking up a lot of speed as he went. He got so fast that he got a bit off course, and missed Speedy all together.

“HA, if you had any experience at all you would know that Slam isn’t perfectly accurate, and it usually misses when you need it to hit the most!” Steven yelled. “Now, Speedy, use absorb!”

Speedy began to move towards Falkor, but stopped. Electricity flowed across the surface of his body.

“Wha-?” George said.

“ARG! You paralyzed him, now he can’t move temporarily! Don’t you know anything!” Steven yelled.

“Falkor, while he can’t move! Hit him with a Slam attack!” George yelled.

Falkor charged at Speedy, this time keeping his vision locked on his target. He wouldn’t miss again. Falkor crashed into speedy at full speed, sending Speedy flying. Falkor skidded to a stop. Speedy hit the ground about ten feet away from him. Speedy tried to get up, but after a couple tries he just laid there.

“WHAT!?!” Steven yelled. “That’s it, I’m done playing around! Go, Bruce!”

“Falkor, you fought hard. Take a break”, George said. Falkor jumped up onto his shoulder.

“Hurray, I won!” He said.

“Go, Torrents!” George said.

George threw Torrents’s Pokeball into the air. The ball opened, and a white light came out, shooting to wards the ground. When it hit the ground it became Torrents. The ball flew back into George’s hand.

“HA, that little Turtle thing has no chance against Bruce here! Bruce, use Focus Energy!” Steven yelled. Steven was getting even more enraged as each second passed.

Bruce Started to glow a dim yellow. She bent her knees and looked like she was about to pounce.

“Torrents… crap, Falkor, what moves does Torrents know?” George said.

“Stop fucking talking to your Pokemon! It can’t fucking understand you! It’s just a dumb Pokemon!” Steven yelled.

“Tell that guy to chill out, his crazy bitch fit is starting to piss me off. Anyway, Torrents knows Tackle, Tail Whip, and Water Gun.”

“What should I use?” George asked.

“I’d say water gun, Torrents gets extra power from using a water move as a water type, and even though Bruce resists water, she has much lower special defense then physical defense”, Falkor said.

“…What?” George said, confused

“Just have him use water gun”, Falkor said.

“Ok. Torrents, use water gun!”

Torrents looked as if he was breathing in, although his mouth was closed. His cheeks puffed up and he leaned back until he had expanded as much as he could. Bruce just stared at him. Then, Torrents opened his mouth. A powerful jet of water shot out, hitting Bruce in the face. Bruce stumbled back a few steps.

“Bruce, use bite!” Steven yelled.

Bruce charged at Torrents, extending her jaws, which were hidden by her shell. She grabbed Torrents in her mouth, biting down into his shell. She then shook him around and threw him. Torrents crashed down on the grassy field.

“Torrents, are you ok?” George yelled.

“Squirt…” Torrents managed to stand up.

“Bruce use Headbutt!” Steven yelled.

“Torrents, run! Run to the water!” George yelled. Torrents would have an advantage fighting in the water.

But Bruce was too fast. Caught up to Torrents and Headbutted him in the back. Torrents went flying and landed in the water. He floated up to the surface and didn’t move.

“HA!!! I got your stupid turtle thing!” Steven yelled.

“I got this, return Torrents to his Pokeball” Falkor said, jumping down from George’s shoulder.

George returned Torrents to his Pokeball. Falkor glared at Bruce.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So turns out battle take longer than I thought they would. And this one only has 2 Pokemon… Imagine what’s going to happen when everyone has 6 >_<

 

[Thundagere]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (PG-13, occasional strong language) (Chapter 5 is up)

I like this chapter! The thing about talking to the pokemon and "What the heck are you doing?!!?" had me laughing on the floor. Torrents seems kin of weak right now, but that's to be expected. It was well-written, and I liked your dialogue. Considering this is his first trainer battle, it's nice that you had Falkor giving him constant advice.

 

[Rakarei]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (PG-13, occasional strong language) (Chapter 5 is up)

Chapter 6: What is a Hero?
​

“Falkor, use that electric attack again!” George said.

Falkor jumped up, sending a wave of electricity shooting out from his body.

“Bruce, dodge it! Run away!” Steven yelled.

Bruce started to run, but she was too slow. The wave of electricity reached her and dissipated. Bruce kept running, but she only moved half as fast.

“Now, Falkor, wrap around Bruce!” George said.

Falkor slithered over to Bruce and wrapped himself around her legs and squeezed them together. Bruce fell over.

“Bruce, get up and use Dragon Breath!” Steven yelled.

Bruce stretched out her legs, fighting against Falkor, who was trying to hold them together and keep Bruce from moving. Bruce struggled for a minute and then over powered Falkor. She turned and fired a blue and red stream of fire from her mouth at Falkor from point blank range.

“HA, you should have known that Dragon Pokemon are weak to Dragon attacks!” Steven said.

Falkor was hit by the blast right in the face. He flew backwards, hitting the ground about 20 feet away.

“Falkor! Falkor, get up!” George yelled. “Falkor, are you ok?!?”

“HA! Your pathetic Pokemon couldn’t take it!” Steven said.

“Uhhh… I’m not dead yet…” Falkor said, standing up slowly.

“Looks like he’s still got some fight in him. Bruce! Finish him with Bite!” Steven said.

“Falkor, get out of the way!” George yelled.

But Falkor wasn’t fast enough. Bruce grabbed him in her mouth and bit down, shaking Falkor around. She then let go, dropping Falkor. He hit the ground and didn’t move.

“Bruce, finish it with Headbutt!” Steven yelled.

“THAT’S ENOUGH.”

A man walked out into the middle of the battle. He had brown hair, which he wore a red hat on top of, and a red vest as well as blue jeans. He looked up at George. His brown eyes were filled with compassion.

“Your Pokemon is hurt, recall him and go to the Pokemon Center.”

“Oh… ok…” George replied. He walked over to Falkor and picked him up.

The man turned to Steven. “That wasn’t necessary Steven. It’s clear to me I need to rethink my decision to you need to let you go off on your own as a trainer.”

“But dad!” Steven yelled, with a whinny tone.

Oh, that’s who this is, George thought.

“Steven, just because I’m your father doesn’t mean you’re different from any other trainer. A Pokemon trainer has to make a name for themselves without using other people to further their reputation. Maybe once you understand that you’ll be ready to be a trainer”, Red said.

“But-“ Steven said.

“No buts. We’re going home now, come on”, Red said.

Red started to walk towards the east entrance of Viridian City. Steven ran a bit to catch up.

♢ ♢ ♢​

George walked into the Pokemon center and up to the counter. The nurse looked at him and then at Falkor.

“Oh my!” She said. “Your Pokemon looks hurt! Here, I’ll heal him.”

“Yeah, we were in a battle. My Squirtle is in pretty bad shape to”, George said, handing her the Pokeball.

“They’re pretty beat up, this will take about half an hour”, the nurse said. “You can have a seat over there and wait if you want, or you can leave and come back.”

George went over to the area the nurse was talking about and sat down. The nurse was pretty. She had long blonde hair and blue eyes. Her breasts were nicely sized as well.

George shook his head around to snap himself out of it. He had been staring at her without realizing it. At least she hadn’t noticed. Anyway, she was like ten years older than him.

George sat there thinking. In the last 24 hours, his whole life had changed. He was now a Pokemon trainer. He had two Pokemon that he was responsible for taking care of. He had just stopped a trainer from hurting people with his Pokemon. Was he a hero? No, he lost. History is written by the victors, no doubt Steven would tell his friends that he stopped George from hurting people.

George realized he was hungry. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost noon. He hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning and had been running on pure adrenaline since Viridian Forest.

“Um, excuse me”, George said, trying to get the nurse’s attention. “How long until my Pokemon are healed?”

“Oh!” The nurse said turning towards him. “Your Pokemon are hurt worse than I thought, so it looks like they’ll need to stay here for another hour.”

“Oh… I’m going to leave and get some lunch I guess”, George replied.

“Ok, that’s fine”, the nurse said. Then, she smiled and added, “Don’t worry, your Pokemon will be fine!”

“Thanks”, Goerge said, managing a slight smile.

George turned and walked towards the door of the Pokemon Center. He was looking down, lost in thought. As he reached the automatic door, it opened, and a girl about George’s age ran through, running straight into him. They both fell over, with the girl landing on top of George.

“Oh, sorry, are you ok? I didn’t mean to knock you over, I’m really sorry! I should have been watching where I was going!” She stood up and helped George up, going on and on with her apology. She was a few inches shorter than George. She had wavy dark hair that reached her shoulders and was the same color as her eyes. She had on a pink shirt and a white skirt and had a small tan backpack on.

“It’s fine, I’m ok”, George said when she finally paused to breath.

“Oh! Me too. I’m Nikki!” she said, holding out her hand for George to shake.

“I’m George”, he said, shaking her hand.

“Are you a Pokemon trainer? Wait, of course you are, or else why would you be in a Pokemon Center? You are a trainer, right?” Nikki continued, pausing only to breath.

“Yeah, I’m a trainer. My Pokemon just got hurt in a battle, so they’re being healed.”

“OOOHHH! What Pokemon do you have?”

“A Squirtle and a Dratini”

“Wait, are you that guy who stopped the guy with a Shelgon from hurting those people in front of the department store? That was really brave, I don’t think I could have done something like that.”

“Ye… Yeah, that was me. I wasn’t really thinking at the time, I kind of just threw myself into it, and I guess I paid for it.”

“What? No, you’re a hero! Sure, you might have lost, but you saved people from getting hurt. That’s what heroes do.”

“Oh… ok. I guess I never thought of myself as the hero type.”

“You acted to help people without thinking twice. To me that’s what it should take to be a hero”, Nikki said. She seemed to have calmed down a bit and was talking at a more normal speed. “I was going to drop of my Bulbasaur and Mantyke to be healed and then get some lunch, want to come with me?”

“Uh, yeah, that sounds good”, George said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

George is a teenage boy and therefore his mind will work like that of a teenage boy.

All this "what is a hero" crap pisses me off, but it's what Nikki would say.

DID YOU GUYS LIKE THIS CHAPTER? WHAT SHOULD I CHANGE TO MAKE MY WRTING BETTER? WHY DOES NO ONE GIVE ME FEEDBACK?

 

[Snowcracker]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (PG-13, occasional strong language) *NEW* (Chapter 6 is here)

Definetly got me hooked! hope you keep going. Can't wait to read the rest!

 

[Rakarei]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (PG-13, occasional strong language) *NEW* (Chapter 6 is here)

Chapter 7: Lunch Date

George and Nikki walked down the street, trying to decide where to go to lunch. Well, mostly Nikki was deciding where they should go. George had never been to Viridian before, so he had no idea where to go.

George and Nikki ended up going to a restaurant called The Flying Torchic. A waiter seated them at a table by the window. The restaurant was decorated to look like a building from Rustborro City. The building was square and the walls were grey and made of metal. George didn’t really like the way the place looked; it was a bit out of place in Viridian surrounded by buildings with an older style of architecture. The inside was decorated to look like a cave. There were posters on the walls and dolls sitting on desks. The waiter explained that the inside of the Restaurant was designed to look like a “secret base”, which trainers in Hoenn used to make in caves. George and Nikki ordered sodas.

“I love this restaurant. I come here every time I come to Viridian”, Nikki said.

“Cool. I’ve actually never been to Viridian before.”

“You’ve never been to Viridian before? Aren’t you a trainer? All trainers come to Viridian for the annual World Championship Qualifying Tournament. Even if you’re not competing, it’s a lot of fun to watch. I live in Lavender Town, but Viridian has the biggest tournament in Kanto, so I like to come watch”, Nikki sounded shocked.

“What are the World Championships?” George asked. It seemed there were a lot of things about being a trainer that George didn’t know about.

“WHAT?! How long have you been a trainer?” Nikki sounded even more shocked.

“Since this morning. Or yesterday, if that counts.”

“What!? Really? How do you have a Dratini?” Nikki’s shock started to sound a bit suspicious.

“Well Oak brought it to Pewter, which is where I live, and accidentally dropped the Pokeball. I was taking it to him when I got attacked by a Beedrill in Viridian Forest and accidentally let the Dratini out of his Pokeball. He saved me, and then wanted to come with me when I brought him back to Oak, so Oak let me have him”,

“He just LET you have him? That’s crazy!”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” George agreed.

“Excuse me, are you ready to order?” The waiter had returned.

“I’ll have a Miltank Burger” Nikki said.

“I’ll have the fried Combusken” George said.

The waiter left.

“You never answered my question about the World Championships.”

“Oh! The Pokemon World Championships are an annual competition to see who’s the best Pokemon trainer out of Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh. Each region has eight qualifying tournaments open to any trainer. They don’t have an entry limit, but you have to enter by a certain date. The 32 winners of these tournaments get an all expenses paid trip to compete in the World Championships, which are in Evergrande City in Hoenn this year.” Nikki explained. “The first qualifier this year in Kanto is in Vermillion in September, so four months from now.”

“Wow, that sounds really cool.”

“Wait a minute, didn’t you say you live in Pewter City? Pewter has a qualifying tournament every year. How did you not notice?” Nikki seemed suspicious of George again.

“I mean, every December huge amounts of trainers would show up, but they’d all head up into the mountains to the north.”

“That’s where Pewter’s stadium is. The tournament master Brock moved into the mountains after the World Championships were formed”, Nikki explained. “You didn’t know that?”

“I’ve only been a trainer since this morning, remember?”

“Oh, yeah”, Nikki said. “I think I might get serious and train for it this year and enter. I’ve always dreamed of going to Hoenn.”

“If you enter I think I might also” George said.

Nikki almost laughed, but then stopped. “If you had the guts to stop that guy with the Shelgon, I don’t doubt that you can be ready for the tournament if you try”, She said.

By then they had finished eating. They paid and then left the restaurant. By then it had been almost an hour since they had left the Pokemon center, so they headed back.

♢ ♢ ♢​

As they walked into the Pokemon center Falkor, who was sitting on the counter, turned away and looked down. George walked over to him; Nikki went to get her Pokeballs from the nurse.

“Hey Falkor, you feeling ok?” George said.

Falkor didn’t answer.

“…Falkor, I’m sorry I let you get hurt, I-“

“Why are you sorry? I failed you. What good is a Pokemon who fails his trainer in battle?” Falkor said. As he spoke he started to sound more and more upset and got louder and louder.

“You failed me? I’m the one who failed you. I don’t know how to battle and I threw myself into one anyway, dragging you with me. If it was anyone’s fault it was mine.” George said apologetically.

“Umm, are you talking to that Dratini?” Nikki asked.

“Oh, uhhhhh, yeah, sometimes I get the feeling I can understand what he’s trying to say and he can understand me, you know?” George said quickly. Oak had only told him about his invention after Falkor had said… whatever Falkor had said at the time, George hadn’t had the earpiece at that point so he didn’t know what Falkor had said, but Oak had seemed unwilling to disclose his research. George didn’t want to make Oak angry, so he decided to hide the fact that he could talk to Falkor.

“I know exactly what you mean! I talk to Bulbs and Kitty all the time!” Nikki said.

“Nice save”, Falkor said sarcastically. “Next time lets try to not cause suspicion in the first place.”

George ignored Falkor’s comment and kept talking to Nikki. “Yeah, I mean, Pokemon have to be pretty smart, right?”

“Well, I mean, they’re just Pokemon, they’re not humans. I think they can understand us a little bit, but most of what we say that’s not battle orders probably goes right over their heads”, Nikki said.

“And I think you don’t really know what you’re talking about”, Falkor said angrily, turning towards Nikki.

“Aw, he’s looking at me! Who’s a good little Dratini, you are, yes you are!” Nikki said as she brought her face right up next to Falkor’s face, in the kind of voice that people use to talk to babies.

“I will strangle you”, Falkor said, attempting to hold back his rage.

“Hey, um I have to go back to Pewter City, my mom is probably, oh crap she’s probably going insane”, George said. “Come on Falkor, I just realized I never told my mom I left.”

“Smart”, Falkor said sarcastically.

“I’ll go with you! I’m on my way back to Lavender Town, and the only way to get there from here is through Pewter City”, Nikki said.

“Uh, ok. Lets’ go then” George said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, now you all know exactly what’s going to happen. Except you don’t.

I’ve been working on the description. Is it better?

 

[Thundagere]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (PG-13, occasional strong language) LOOK IT'S CHAPTER 7!

Oh man! I loved this chapter! Falkor listening while Nikki insulted him--rofl! It was great! You did a great job of conveying George's experience. I'll be waiting fo the next chapter!

 

[Snowcracker]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (PG-13, occasional strong language) LOOK IT'S CHAPTER 7!

Again good writing. Definitly better description.
I loved the whole "I'm going to strangle you!" bit.

 

[Rakarei]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (PG-13, occasional strong language) LOOK IT'S CHAPTER 7!

Chapter 8: Lost in the woods​

George and Nikki walked up the street towards the north end of Viridian. Falkor was sitting on George’s shoulder. It was late afternoon, almost 5:00, and the sun was getting low in the sky. Nikki talked a lot which was fine because George wasn’t much of a conversationalist. He just listened to Nikki talk and Falkor make occasional sarcastic remarks, which Nikki couldn’t hear. She seemed to like just having someone there to listen. She would talk about all kinds of things, most of it was related to things she had done in the past. Right now she was talking about how she met Kitty, her Mantyke, a few months ago when she was visiting her grandparents in Johto.

“… and then I turned around and Kitty was just following me! It was like she wanted to come with me! My grandpa said that if a Pokemon follows you home you don’t really have an excuse to not catch it, so a took out a Pokeball and caught Kitty in one try!” Nikki paused and just smiled.

“Wow, that’s kind of like what happened with me and Falkor”, George said.

“I guess… why is he sitting on your shoulder?” Nikki asked.

“He doesn’t actually have a Pokeball right now, he broke the one had had when he was with Oak right before Oak let him come with me” George said.

“He broke his Pokeball?” Nikki started to sound like she was a little weirded out by George. “Is he really that strong?”

“I guess so, I think this was more him being smart than strong”, George said.

“Don’t say anything. Don’t you dare say anything”, Falkor said.

Thankfully Nikki didn’t go on about Falkor’s intelligence. “Maybe I’ll have Kitty follow me around. I’d let Bulbs out, but he just sleeps all day and wouldn’t fit on my shoulder.” Nikki reached into her bag and took out a Pokeball. “Come on out Kitty!”

The Pokeball opened and a beam of white light came out, forming itself into the shape of a Mantyke. The whit light then went back into the Pokeball, revealing Kitty.

“Isn’t she so cute?!” Nikki said. Kitty started flying in circles around Nikki and George.

By then they had reached the edge of the Viridian Forest. George remembered the last time he was there, and got a little scared.

“It’s getting late, so we’ll probably have to camp out in Viridian Forest if we try to get through today” Nikki said. “I wasn’t really thinking about that and I left my camping stuff in the PC item storage…”

It was getting late. The sun was behind Nikki, the light was shining on her, making her seem to glow. George didn’t want to make his mom worry for another day and he didn’t want to look like a wimp in front of Nikki, so he decided he was going to press on.

“I’m going to try and make it through the forest. You can come if you want”, George said.

“Oh! Yeah, let’s go!” Nikki said, running through the gate and into the forest. “Come on Kitty!”

Inside the forest it was dark, and getting darker as the sun went down. George looked down the narrow path, but the trees blocked most of the light coming in, so he could hardly see. George was having second thoughts about trying to get through the forest tonight, but he didn’t want Nikki think he was scared.

“Well, let’s go”, George said, setting off down the path. Nikki followed him close behind.

“They’re looking at me”, Falkor said.

“What?” George said.

“I defeated their leader, either they want to make be their leader… or they want to kill me”, Falkor said.

“That’s crazy”, George was starting to think Falkor was just after attention a lot of the time.

“Oh, sure, you think I’m crazy. Just be hope that when the Beedrill come I forgive you”, Falkor said.

♢ ♢ ♢​

George and Nikki had been wandering Viridian Forest for hours. It was dark, and all the paths looked the same. George couldn’t even tell the difference between two trees that were next to each other anymore. Kitty was either tired, scared, or a mix of the two. She was sticking a lot closer to Nikki instead of flying around her, and she wasn’t as energetic as before. Falkor was nodding off on George’s shoulder. George was getting tired too. He looked back at Nikki. She was clearly falling asleep as she walked.

“Nikki”, Nikki looked up, she looked like she had just been almost asleep. George continued, “Maybe we should stop and rest for a bit.”

“Uh, yeah, ok”, Nikki said sleepily. She walked over to a big tree on the edge of the path and sat down, leaning against the tree. George sat down next to her. Kitty glided down and sat in Nikki’s lap. Falkor was already asleep on George’s shoulder.

“What are you going to do when we get to Pewter City?” Nikki asked sleepily.

“Well”, George said, yawning, “I’m probably going to stay there. I live there with my mom and I have a job, which I can’t really quit, although I’m on a kind of permanent vacation right now.”

“Oh, well I think I’m going to stay there for a day or two, then head out to the remote Pokemon center by Mt. Moon, and explore. I’m probably going to eventually head home to Lavender Town for a visit, and then to Vermillion for the tournament” Nikki said. She was almost asleep and she yawned as she was finishing her sentence.

“Cool, maybe I’ll see you there”, George said, “depending on what happens with my job.”

“Cool” Nikki said, and then she was asleep. She leaned over, putting her head on George’s shoulder.

George didn’t want to wake her up, so he stayed where he was, leaning his head back against the tree. He turned and looked at Nikki. She was fun to be around he thought. And pretty. They got along great too. George kept mentally listing all of Nikki’s good qualities as he fell asleep.

♢ ♢ ♢​

George woke up the next morning with the sun shining down on his face. He jumped up, startled that he was somewhere in the woods. It took him a moment to remember what had happened the day before. Nikki woke up as George jumped up and seemed surprised at where she was as well. Falkor had fallen off of George’s shoulder during the night. He woke up when people around him started moving. Nikki was still holding Kitty as she stood up. Kitty woke up and started flying around slowly.

“I guess we fell asleep”, Nikki said, stretching her arms.

“Yeah. We should be able to find out way out now that it’s morning”, George said. Looks like his mom was going to be worrying for another day, thought George.

They started walking towards what looked like it would be an exit. George thought it was strange that they hadn’t seen any wild Pokemon this whole time when they turned a corner and saw two Beedrill. George saw them and jumped back, bumping into Nikki. The Beedrill looked at George, then at Falkor. When they saw Falkor, they made a loud noise and flew away.

“Or maybe they don’t want to make me their leader ad they’re just really scared of me”, Falkor said. “They were saying ‘It’s the guy who took out the chief, run!’”

“Looks like they’re scared of Falkor or something”, George said. “That’s why we haven’t seen any wild Pokemon around.”

They kept going down the path. The sun was low in the sky, and visible beams of light came through the trees. George and Nikki found a path that seemed more used than the one they were on, and went down it. However, it just took them back to the tree they spent the night under.

“I think we might be lost”, Nikki said.

“No, we’re not lost, we just need to keep going”, George said confidently. Inside he wasn’t so confident, but he wanted to impress Nikki.

They went down a different path this time, and still ended up at the same place.

“We’re lost”, Nikki said.

All of a sudden, they heard a high-pitched growl. George and Nikki turned in the direction of the sound.

“What was that?” George said.

“A Pokemon, and she’s in trouble. I can’t tell what kind of Pokemon, but I’m going to find out what’s going on”, Falkor said. He turned to Kitty, “Let’s see what’s going on.”

Falkor and Kitty ran off into the woods in the direction of the noise.

“What’s going on?” Nikki asked.

“I think they’re going to find out what that noise was. I think it was a Pokemon”, George said. “Let’s go.”

George and Nikki ran off after Falkor and Kitty. As they emerged into a clearing, they saw a Growlithe.

“Hey, Beedrill, get away from her!” Falkor said

The two Beedrill moved closer to Falkor, brandishing their needles and buzzing.

“Uhh, this isn’t really necessary, we can settle this peacefully, we don’t need to fight!” Falkor said, backing away.

“Falkor, what’s going on?” George asked.

“These guys aren’t part of that group I guess. They’re going to get me, help!”

“Go, Torrents!” George said. He threw Torrents’s Pokeball, it opened, shooting out a beam of white light towards the ground. The light formed itself into the shape of Torrents and went back into the ball, leaving Torrents standing there. He looked at the Beedrill and took a fighting stance.

“Oh, thanks buddy, you can have this one”, Falkor said.

“There’s two of them, you need to battle two Falkor!” George said.

As George said that, the Growlithe ran up next to Torrents, took a defensive stance, and started growling.

“Be careful guys!” Nikki said.

Uh, I guess we’re battling two on two”, George said. “Growlithe, are you going to listen to me?”

The Growlithe barked. “She says yes”, Falkor said, looking relived at not having to battle.

Torrents and Growlithe took defensive stances as the two Beedrill advanced.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes I ended the chapter at the start of a battle again. That way you'll be pissed about the cliffhanger and want to read the next one.

 

[Thundagere]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (PG-13, occasional strong language) Chapter 8 is up

Yeah! He's going for the Arcanine (awesome Pokemon, sorry).
You did have a few spelling errors, such as spelling too as two. Grammar seemed okay.
I really liked this chapter! At first it seemed like one of those filler chapters, but at the end you left us hanging! Nice!

 

[Rakarei]

Re: Pokemon: New Heroes (PG-13, occasional strong language) Chapter 8 is up

Chapter 9: Homecomng​

The two Beedrill moved towards Torrents and Growlithe, pointing their needles at them and buzzing loudly. The one on the right suddenly started flying at Torrents, jabbing its needles at him.

“Torrents, doge it!” George said. Torrents ran to his left, but the Beedrill followed him. Growlithe turned and shot a small ball of fire at the Beedrill, hitting it in the back. The Beedrill let out a loud screech and fell to the ground. It got up, turned around and charged at Growlithe. The other Beedrill speed up and charged at Growlithe also.

“Torrents, use Water Gun, stop one of the Beedrill from attacking Growlithe!” George yelled.

Torrents hit the Beedrill that Growlithe had just attacked with a water gun. The Beedrill turned around, shook the water off itself, and flew at Torrents.

The other Beedrill still was flying at Growlithe. Growlithe let out a small roar. Immediately, a ring or fire formed around its body and began growing and spinning, forming a spinning wheel of fire around Growlithe, who charged at the Beedrill as it started jabbing at Growlithe with it’s needles. They collided, Growlithe was thrown backwards, Beedrill fell to the ground, covered in burn marks and smoking. It didn’t get up.

“How is that Growlithe so good at battling?” Nikki asked.

“She traveled a long way to get here from where she normal lives, so she probably had to battle a lot. Wild Pokemon aren’t all that friendly, especially to non-native Pokemon. Not that you can hear me or anything”, Falkor said.

“Growlithe don’t live around here, so she must have had to travel and battle wild Pokemon on the way”, George said.

“You better not make a habit of taking credit for my genius”, Falkor said.

George ignored Falkor, he hadn’t meant to make him upset, but he did want to seem smart around Nikki.

As they were talking, the Beedrill reached Torrents and jabbed him with its needles. Torrents let out a yell in pain.

“Torrents! I’m sorry I got distracted. Use Tackle!” George said, the concern for his Pokemon notice able in his voice.

The Beedrill had turned around and was flying at Torrents again. It began jabbing with its needles as it got closer. Torrents started running towards the Beedrill, and once they were close enough he bent over and tackled the Beedrill into the ground. Torrents got up, eyeing the Beedrill cautiously. The Beedrill didn’t move. Torrents smiled and ran over to George.

“You did great Torrents! You deserve a rest, return”, George said, holding out Torrents’s Pokeball.

Torrents turned towards Falkor, folded his arms and closed his eyes as the white light from the Pokeball covered his body, pulling him inside the small metal sphere.

“Little prick…” Falkor said sounding annoyed at Torrents.

The Growlithe ran over to George and rubbed up against his leg. Then she stopped and sat down, barking in a friendly tone.

“She says she used to belong to a trainer who was breeding Pokemon to get the best traits he could. He released her because she wasn’t the strongest, and he only wanted the strongest. She’s been looking for a nice trainer ever since, one who will take her and train her so she can be strong too. She thinks you might be that trainer, even though you don’t know anything about battling and she came up with all the strategy”, Falkor said. “Let’s go, we don’t need her, and you don’t have any Pokeballs anyway.”

“Awe, that’s terrible! Pokemon are living creatures, not tools, you can’t just throw them away if they aren’t the strongest!” George said, ignoring Falkor’s last comment. He turned to the Growlithe. “Do you really want to come with me?”

“Um, are you talking to your Pokemon again?” Nikki asked.

“Oh, uh…” George didn’t know what to do, how was he going to explain this one? “This Growlithe knows a lot about battling, so I assumed she had a trainer who released her for some reason. The only reason I know that trainers would release young Pokemon is if they were trying to breed a Pokemon with good traits for battling, and they got one that didn’t have all the traits they wanted.”

“Ok… I guess that makes sense, but that’s a lot of guessing”, Nikki said, still sounding a little suspicious of George.

“You did it again”, Falkor said. “You’d better stop ignoring me and not giving me credit for stuff.”

George turned to the Growlithe. “So, you think I’m a good trainer and you want to come with me?”

The Growlithe barked as if to say yes. Then she jumped onto George’s right shoulder, where Falkor had been sitting. Falkor just looked at George. He started to say something, but George started walking away.

“Come one Falkor, Flare says she knows how to get out of the forest”, George said.

“…Coming…”

♢ ♢ ♢​

Half an hour later George, Nikki, Flare, and Falkor emerged onto Route 2.

“It sure was lucky that we found Flare”, George said.

“Yeah. She really seems to like you”, Nikki said.

It was true, the Growlithe (who George had named Flare) had been rubbing herself against George affectionately for the last half hour as she guided them out of the forest.

“Yeah, she’s really friendly alright…”, Falkor said.

“So I’m going to go to the Pokemon Center”, Nikki said as they walked into Pewter. “Pokemon Centers have rooms traveling trainers can stay in for free.”

“How does the league pay for all that?” George asked.

“It’s all funded by the advertising companies that pay through the nose to get their ads on TV during the championships”, Nikki explained. “They give you free meals too. Which reminds me, I’m hungry. It’s almost lunch time, I’m going to go get a room and have some lunch, see you later, George!” Nikki turned to George and hugged him, then she ran off towards the Pokemon Center.

George watched her until she turned a street corner and was out of sight. “Well Falkor, looks like it’s time to go home”, he said, turning to Falkor. Falkor didn’t answer.

“You ok buddy?” George asked, concerned about his friend.

“Oh, so NOW you care about me, now that your human friend is gone. ‘Oh, my real friends are all gone, but at least I still have you, and you have to listen to me and care about me!’ Is that it?” Falkor started yelling angrily towards the end.

George crouched down so that he could talk to Falkor face to face. “What, no Falkor it’s not like that. It’s just that I’m the only one who can talk to you, and if I talk to you around other people, they’ll think I’m crazy and send me to some kind of mental institution where I wouldn't be able to see you, or anybody. I ignored you because I don’t want people to think I’m crazy and take you away from me” George said.

“So you’re ignoring me… because you care about me?” Falkor said sounding a bit confused.

“Yeah”, George said. “Now come one, you need to meet my mom.”

Falkor jumped up onto George’s left shoulder and George began walking towards his house.

♢ ♢ ♢​

George and his mom lived in a grey one-floor house on the north side of Pewter. There were two bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen, and a living room merged with a dining room. The house was on a densely packed street with a lot of houses built in the same format. At the end of the street was a small park with a pond surrounded by trees. In particular was one big maple tree. George used to sit under that maple tree in autumn and watch the leaves fall around him. Before all his friends left to become Pokemon trainers, they used to hang out at that park.

George walked up to the door, took a key out of his pocket, and opened the door. He walked inside into the living room and closed the door.

“My mom is probably at work, she’s one of the nurses at the Pokemon Center”, George said. He took out Torrent’s Pokeball and tossed it in the air. The ball opened and shot a beam of white light out at the floor. The light retracted into the ball, leaving Torrents standing on the floor. The ball flew back into George’s hand.

“Torrents, you, Falkor, and Flare can hang out here for now”, George said. He then went over to the kitchen and made himself a cheese sandwich for lunch. Then George went back to his room.

George’s room wasn’t very clean or organized, his bed sat, unmade, in the corner, magazines and books littered the floor. Clothes from days past lay in a pile in the corner. Posters of Pokemon battles and rock bands covered the walls.

After looking in his room, George went to the bathroom and took a shower. Afterwards, he looked in the mirror. George was tall, about 5’10”, and skinny. He had fairly pale skin and grey blue eyes. His long, thick brown hair was flat against his head instead of sticking out everywhere like it usually did.

After his shower, George walked back to his room and put on a pair of blue jeans and a grey t-shirt. Then he went back to the living room to check on Falkor, Torrents, and Flare. When he got there he was Falkor with Torrents wrapped up in his tail while Flare was on the floor in a puddle of water. The couch was tipped over and there was water on the floor in puddles all over the room.

“What happened?” George said.

“Well Flare was being annoying and head butting things, so Torrents, being the self righteous ass hole he is, decided it would be a good idea to chase her around and hit her with a water gun attack. They tried to jump over the couch. It didn’t work. After Torrents KOed Flare I decided it was time to intervene and wrapped up Torrents with my tail”, Falkor said. “Clearly, I’m the only mature one here and should be rewarded.”

Just then the door opened. A woman was standing there. She was a few inches shorter than George, had light brown hair and brown eyes.

“Hi mom”, George said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was the best way I could think of to divide the chapters.

I've been working a lot on the description.