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Pokémon Platinum Adventures (OC-GAME-PG 13)

~Locust~

~Moonlight Knight~
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Don't worry, this fic already has quite a few chapters written so it is doubtful I'd quit it.

PG 13 for violance and death later.
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VS. Staraptor!
It was a peaceful day in Twinleaf Town. And that bored him. That bored Fire a lot. Fire was used to the big city life, but his mum decided to move because she needed the peace and quiet. And he hated it. He may have hated his brother who worked at Veilstone City but he loved the city more. The gambling machines, despite the fact that he was to young to gamble, the police force, the gym leader Maylene, who he secretly had a crush on, and much, much more. But Twinleaf had a population of 10 people including his mum and him. He had no friends here, and he was completely bored.

Fire was a tall 12 year old boy, who wore an orange coat over a green shirt, brown jeans and green gloves and boots. He had dark green hair which he got off of his mother.

It was ten in the morning, and Fire ran up stairs to watch PokéSpecial, the news show that was on every Saturday. The report was on a swarm of Gyarados, and how a Ralts had gotten captured by a red one.

Gyarados, blue creatures that were really tall and resembled Chinese Dragons, were Pokémon. Pokémon are creatures that are a lot like animals but there are 493 different known species, including species called legendaries, who were only myths.

“We have top trainers from all over the world including Red Teltale and Blue Tarran battling the shiny Gyarados but they cannot say the Ralts,” said the blue-haired reporter. Her name was Gaby. “Prof. Rowan is here, with a prodigé of his called Silver.”

“Hello, I am Professor Rowan, and this young woman here,” the old man with a grey beard, grey hair and a face that could give children nightmares said as he pointed to a girl, “Is Silver. She says she knows how to save the Ralts.”

The girl wore a white hat with a pokéball symbol on it, and wore a pink dress under a long yellow coat. She had blue hair, and beautiful blue eyes.

“Come on out, Budew!” she shouted, as she released a small green bud with a green small bib on. “Sleep-powder!”

The green bud released yellow powder at all the Gyarados, and they all fell asleep, but suddenly, the Ralts disappeared.

“Amazing!” shouted Gaby. “Silver, you must be an amazing trainer!”

“Actually,” she said shyly, “I'm only researching Pokémon's moves and behaviour, and Professor Rowan told me to come and help calm the Gyarados down.”

“HOT GIRL!” shouted Fire, and he ran out the house. “Hi mum, bye mum!”

It took Fire ten minutes to reach Lake Verity, and by then, everybody was gone. All there was that was left was a white pokémon with green hair and a red bit sticking out of the hair. It was the Ralts from before. It lay on the ground, motionless.

“RALTS!? A-are you ok!?” asked Fire as he picked up the Ralts, and instantly, he wished he listened in his health class. “HOW DO I DO CPR!?”

Suddenly, from the bushes appeared a Staraptor, which was a giant grey bird which resembled a hawk and had a red bit hanging above it's eyes. All the commotion must have woken it up.

“DARNIT! Sorry for waking you up, please don't hurt me! *meep*” screamed Fire.

The shouting woke Ralts up and it noticed that Fire was holding it. It jumped from his hands and picked up the Staraptor with psychic power. But the Staraptor wouldn't give up. It flew over to the Ralts and pecked it.

“R-ralts use, uh, Psychic or whatever that was again! Please!”

The Ralts repeated, but it did less damage. Luckily, powder appeared and put the Staraptor to sleep.

“You!” shouted Fire as he saw Silver and her Budew. “Thank you!”

“You found the Ralts! Good job! Now quickly, we need to leave and talk to the Professor, or that Ralts will die!”

To be continued in VS. Bidoof...
 
I'm gonna update every Wednesday and Saturday btw.
VS. Bidoof!
Fire told Silver to go off without him to Sandgem Town so he could go and explain what's going on to his mum. Fire ran as fast as he could, and made it back to his house within only 5 minutes. It was now one in the afternoon.

“Hi, mum,” he said as he caught his breath. “Sorry, I went to Lake Verity to rescue that Ralts.”

Fire did not have the guts to tell her the truth.

“YOU IDIOT! YOU HAD NO POKéMON!” she snapped at him. Then she calmed down, “But at least you had the heart to go and save it. Is it ok?”

“I'm not sure, Rowan's assistant, Silver, took it with her, and it should be getting looked after. I need to go and check.”

“Walk all the way to Sandgem, without a Pokémon!?”

Suddenly, the phone rang and Fire answered it. Prof. Rowan was on the video-screen that all modern phones had.

“Ahem. Fire, I am afraid to tell you that the Ralts will survive but only for a few hours,” he said in a grim tone.

“NO!” shouted Fire. “SHE CAN'T DIE! YOU CAN MAKE IT RALTSY!”

“I'm afraid she cannot. But I shall send you a Pokémon to help on your way here.”

“Ye-*sniffle*-yeah, thank you.”

As the phone switched off, Fire cried for the first time in five years. For the first time since what happened with his brother. Suddenly, a Pokéball came out of a tube that was connected to the phone.

“Right, I'm going to see the last few breaths of Raltsy...”

“Son, take these shoes. They double your speed.”

“Thanks mum,” said Fire as he put them on and left the house.

On his way to Sandgem Town, a small, brown beaver pokémon, called a Bidoof, appeared and start to nibble at Fire's shoes.

“Come on out, pokémon!”

A small orange monkey with fire on it's tail came out of the pokéball.

“Hello, Chimchar, I shall call you Chimpoo. Chimpoo, use scratch on the Bidoof!”

Chimpoo ran up to the Bidoof and scratched it in the face. The Bidoof ran away.

It took about another hour, including a few rests, before Fire reached Rowan's lab.

“H-H-Hi.”

“Hello, Fire,” said Rowan. “Silver is at the Pokémon Centre. But before you go, I need to tell you something important.”

Fire walked up to the old man, crying. Chimpoo was quiet and did not understand what was going on.

“You know the meteor that hit Mount Coronet two nights ago?” asked Rowan.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I think that Ralts was one of the many pokémon that got hit by the radiation from it.”

“And that means what exactly?” asked Fire.

“It means that's why Ralts is not as powerful as other pokémon of it's level, and why it shall die soon. It would have died even without falling off Mount Coronet and awakening the Gyarados.”

“...How long until it dies anyway?”

“Ten minutes. What I'm saying is, look after her IF she survives, which is unlikely.”

“Y-you want me to keep her?” asked Fire.

“Yes, and Chimchar too, if it's ok with you.”
,
“Th-thank you. I shall get my Pokedex in an hour, now b-bye,” said Fire as he left the lab and ran to the centre.

----------------------
“How's her condition?” asked Fire to the Nurse and Silver.

“She doing better than expected. She may live after all but it is doubtful,” said the nurse, looking at the clipboard with all the data on it.

The Ralts was lying on a bed, with a heart monitor connected to it, and it was wearing breathing apparatus. Suddenly, it opened it's eyes, and it's heart rate went to normal. It was going live. Fire basically celebrated inside.

“She'll live it seems,” said Silver as she used her Pokétch to call Rowan. “Prof,this is Silver. The Ralts will live.”

“Perfect!” came his reply. “Now I want you two to battle, while the Ralts rests. I'll be there to referee in a second.”

“You sure Prof?” asked Fire.

“Yes.”
-------------------------
“Come on out Chimpoo!” shouted Fire as he sent out Chimpoo.

“Come on out, Budew!” said Silver, as she sent out Budew.

“BEGIN!” shouted Rowan.

TO BE CONTINUED IN VS. BUDEW.
 
OK, seriously, what the hell? It's deathly ill ("going to survive but only a few hours"? What?) and then all of a sudden it heals itself out of nowhere?

Also, there's no characterization at all. I didn't give a damn about anything that happened. There's nothing to pull me in.
 
You're right. I'm such an idiot, missing out details like that. I can't come up with anything to explain it currently, so I'll re-write the chapter if that's ok.
 
OK this fic is almost a clone of mines. Same type of chapter titles, main character having a Ralts, etc. Watching television with Gyarados on it. It shares elements of mines. Not saying that you can't do a PokeSpecial fic, but at least make it different from mines, please.
 
Given that the style of chapter titles having "Vs (whatever)" comes directly from the original comic, and that watching a broadcast of the Gyarados comes from the DPP games, that's not really enough to label it "almost a clone".
 
OK this fic is almost a clone of mines. Same type of chapter titles, main character having a Ralts, etc. Watching television with Gyarados on it. It shares elements of mines. Not saying that you can't do a PokeSpecial fic, but at least make it different from mines, please.
I actually wrote Chappter 1 before I read your fic.

And I've always liked the idea of vs titles.

It gets far different later on.
 
Please note: The thread is from 18 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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