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Pokemon Regi legend

quilteej

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Im Quilteej and this is my first post.Im starting a pkmn story soooooooo yay.Its called Regi legend. Im trying to think up a better nameso please give suggetions and comments. Also im new to this so instructions to making a sig would be nice too.Chapter 1 legend rising will be released soon!
 
The cool lake breeze stirred the trees. This was lake acuity. Whenever I was angry I would come here.How I got to snowpoint city? I don't know. As far as I can remember
I have lived here parentless. Wether i'm really an orphan or not again i don't know. Suddenly The wind'sspeed grew. I gripped the pokeball in my hand hard and braced myself for another blizzard. -----Yeah a short chapter but ah well
 
BREAKING NEWS:

TWO SENTENCES NOW CONSIDERED CHAPTER LENGTH

ENGLISH TEACHERS, PROFESSORS EVERYWHERE BAFFLED

IN FURTHER NEWS, PROTESTERS GATHER AT BOOK SHOPS TO PROTEST THE NEW STORY "POKEMON REGI LEGEND" WHICH CONSISTS OF ONE CHAPTER AND COSTS £7,99!"
 
The writing style is the same as ShinyMuk's Pokémon Thoughts. Not that it's bad or anything, but there needs to be more exploration into the character.

Onto the actual story. There is no description. Why do people assume that when you're just doing thoughts, there is no need for description? Also, why did you end on a cliffhanger so near the beginning? It doesn't make us worry about what will happen to him because you haven't shown his character and you haven't given us time to like him, defeating the point of a cliffhanger.

Slight plothole, orphans are kids that have been abandoned by their parents, whether they're dead or alive.

Of course, the chapter itself would be a good "first page" but not an actual chapter. Some books do do this, choosing this to be a "preview", an excerpt from one of the problems in the story.
 
No. Please no.

First off, don't put a prefacing post with no fic in it. Post the fic in the first post of the thread. Second, that's not a fic. It's not even half a chapter. Now, I love short fics, but you have to DO something in that short time.
 
Please note: The thread is from 16 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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