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TEEN: - Ongoing Pokemon: The Documentary

Neko Godot

OBJECTION meow meow!
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Pokemon: The Documentary
Rated PG-13

Well, once again, I am attempting to write yet ANOTHER fic. This time it's a comedy done documentary style, kind of like The Office, if you've ever watched that. Just a quick note before this begins, whenever a character's name is displayed with dialogue under it, like this:

Godot
"OBJECTION!"

it means that it is a talking head, which, for those of you who don't know, is a private interview with a character. You may have seen talking heads used before in documentaries or reality shows. Also, sometimes I'll use a talking head to transition from one scene to the next. And that's all I have to say, so enjoy!

Chapter 1: Beginning

“So, you’re setting off on your journey today?”

“Yes, I told you this already.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right guy!” Professor Oak, an older gentleman with white hair who was wearing a lab coat, put down his coffee mug. “After all, I AM the Pokemon authority.”

“I’ve heard,” replied Tim, who had already listened to Oak say this about ten times.

Tim
“Well, my name’s Tim… and I’m starting my Pokemon journey today. So… yeah. Kinda neat, isn’t it?”

“Now, being the Pokemon authority, I know a lot.” Professor Oak now changed his voice into some kind of high-pitched growl. “What advice you seek?”

“Excuse me?”

“What advice you seek?” Oak repeated before changing his voice back to normal. “Know who that is?”

“Uh… Fozzie Bear?” guessed Tim.

“No.” Oak glared at Tim, looking disappointed. “It was Yoda.”

“From Star Trek?”

“Star WARS,” Oak corrected. “You know, I kind of consider myself to be like Yoda… and like Mr. Miyagi… and like Dumbledore… you know, I generally play the part of the wise old mentor. But anyway, you’re setting off on your journey today?” Oak asked Tim.

Oak
“My name is Samuel Oak. Some people call me the Pokemon Authority. And I’d have to agree with them. I am pretty… authoritable.”

Oak’s phone began to ring. “What’s that ringtone?” asked Tim.

“Karma Kecleon.”

“You going to answer it?” asked Tim.

“I like this song.” Oak wagged his finger in the air to the tune for a few seconds before finally answering the phone.

“About time,” groaned Tim.

Oak, however, did not hear Tim, as he was busy talking. “Hello… Oh yes, that’s me… Oh sure… I’ll have Tracey drop it by soon… Of course, madam… Oh… Sorry about that… bye…” Oak hung up. “Turns out that was a guy,” Oak told Tim. “He had a very high pitched voice. Probably very effeminate. Or maybe he does helium balloons. I may never know.”

“Uh… sir, can I get my starter now?” asked Tim.

“Slow down! You’re rushing things too much!” scolded Oak.

Oak
“The one thing I don’t like about kids… is that… they… rush… things. I prefer to take it slow and easy. Why back in high school they used to call me ‘easy rider’. And I’d have to agree with them. I am pretty easyable.”

Oak made his voice much deeper, and growled at Tim, “I pity the fool that rushes things!”

“Hm?”

“I pity the fool!” Oak changed his voice back to normal. “That was Mr. T. In case you didn’t know who it was. You probably didn’t know who it was right? Because you didn’t know who Yoda was either, or Mr. Miyagi!”

“I never said I didn’t know who Mr. Miyagi was,” corrected Tim.

“Oh yeah! Well I beg to differ!”

“Fine, I’ll bet ten bucks I never said it. Deal?”

“Deal! Deal or No Deal! Howie Mandel! That’s a great show, you ever watch it?”

Oak
“What do you mean he never said it? What do you mean you have video footage that shows he never said it? Why are you even making a documentary about this kid?”

“Okay Tim, you can choose your starter now,” said Oak.

“Cool. What are my choices? Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and Charmander?”

“Actually, no.”

“Why not?” questioned Tim.

“Well, you see, those Pokemon have all been put on the endangered species list. Apparently people have been eating too much Bulbasaur omelets, Squirtle sushi, and Charmander burgers. Luckily for me I bought a whole load of all that food before production stopped.”

“So what Pokemon can I get now?”

“Well… you see… well…” Oak paused. “Oh yes! I remember now! I have a Machop sitting around in a Pokeball somewhere. He’s a qualified starter, so you can use him!”

“Can’t I pick anyone else?” whined Tim.

“Well, usually I’d have other starters, like Gastly, Abra, or Geodude. But unfortunately for you, I gave them all out, and I’ve been too lazy to go catch more of them.”

Oak
“Some people have accused me of being lazy. And it’s true, I don’t meet deadlines, I rarely have any work done. I am quite lazyable.”

“Well, here’s your Machop.” Oak handed a Pokeball marked with an M to Tim.

Tim opened up the Pokeball and out came Machop, a young muscular Pokemon. “Hey Machop, how you doing?” Machop karate chopped Tim in the head.

Oak
“Well, it seems that Machop likes Tim. A LOT! It always makes me happy when a Pokemon and a trainer can connect like Machop and Tim did. I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship. You know where that’s from? It’s from Casablanca. I bet you didn’t know that. I mean, you didn’t know who Dumbledore was either!”

Machop
“Ma! Ma chop chop! Machop ma!”

Oak
“Deal! I’ll make that bet with you, you stupid cameraman!”

Tim
“Machop and I did NOT get off to a good start. I hope it’ll calm down in the future, as it seems to be pretty hyper right now. And what’s that? Oak made another bet? Hah!”

Oak
“Dammit! Video footage again? Last time I make a bet with a documentary crew around!”

End of Chapter 1
 
Chapter 2: Ambush

Tim
“Well, I’ve started out on my journey now. It got kinda lonely, all alone, walking down Route One, so I let Machop out to walk around. He hasn’t karate chopped me in the head again yet… so I’m pretty happy about that!”

“How are you doing Machop?” Tim asked.

“Ma! Chop machop!” replied Machop.

“Er… sorry. I don’t speak Pokemon.”

“Ma! Chop chop ma!” Machop shook his fist in the air.

“Excuse me?”

“Chop chop MA!” Machop repeated.

“Never mind,” muttered Tim. “Well, at this rate we’ll be at Viridian City soon! NOTHING is going to block our way!”

“Um… excuse me…” a small girl, around Tim’s age, had walked out from behind the tree. She had pink hair tied up in a flowing ponytail. “Um… I said… um… excuse me…” Tim continued to move on. “Um… um…”

“Is someone there?” Tim heard a noise.

“Um… yes… um… me…” replied the girl.

“What do you want?” Tim groaned.

“Um… well… I was thinking… um… I want to… um… battle…” the girl said in barely a whisper.

“What? I can’t hear you at all!”

“Um… I said… um… I want to battle… um… so… can we?”

“I still can’t hear you! Do you have some kind of speech impediment?” Tim was getting frustrated.

“Um… I don’t think… so… um… no… um… I don’t…” said the girl.

“What’s that?”

“Um… never mind… but… um… do you want to battle?” the girl asked again.

“Ugh, just go away from me!” Tim was getting bored talking to this girl.

“But… um… I’d like to… um… battle…”

Girl
“Um… my name is… um… I’m shy… so… um… all I want… is… um… a battle… and um… for some reason he… um… won’t battle… um… me…”

“Anyway, little girl, you should go back home. You look lost,” said Tim.

“Just… um… can I… um… have… a battle… um… please?”

“Please go away! I’m on my way to Viridian City! Just PLEASE go away!” begged Tim.

“Um… if that’s the… um… case… then I’ll… um… just have to… um… battle you… um… now…” the girl declared in a whisper.

“What’s that?” asked Tim.

“Um… go… um… Abra…” The girl threw a Pokeball and out came Abra, a small psychic Pokemon with squinty eyes.

“What the hell? This crazy girl is trying to ambush us! Machop, you ready?”

“Chop!” Machop replied.

“Good! Go beat up that Abra!” Machop began to run over to the girl’s Abra.

“Um… no… um… this isn’t… um… good… Abra… um… use… um… teleport…” Luckily for the girl, her command got out just in time and Abra teleported out of danger.

“Blast! Abra avoided the attack! Machop, try and strike it again!”

“Um… Abra… teleport… um… again…”

Tim
“Would I consider this my first battle? No way! This girl has no idea what she’s doing! She’s just having Abra teleport all over the place. But it doesn’t matter to me. Because soon, Abra is going to get tired. And then, it’s knock out time!”

“Machop, let’s get that Abra this time!” Machop began to run over to Abra again.

“Um… Abra… um… teleport…” However, Abra remained still.

“Yes! It finally tired out! Machop, let’s punch that thing!”

“Um… dear… um… this is bad… um…” The girl threw her Pokeball and Abra returned to it right before Machop managed to prepare a punch.

“Hey, what’s your problem? First you ambush me, and now you’re running away!” complained Tim.

“Um… I just… um… don’t want… um… Abra… um… to get… um… hurt…” the girl squeaked out.

“Ugh! I can’t hear a word you’re saying! Just get out of my way! You’re wasting my time!” Tim began to move on.

“But um… please… um… don’t you… um… remember me… from… um… Pallet Town… um… because… um… I was… your… um… neighbor… and… um… I kinda… um…”

“GOODBYE!” yelled Tim.

“But… um… before you… um… go… um… I want… to… um… tell you… um… that…”

“I SAID GGODBYE!” Tim yelled. “GO AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!” As Tim marched away, the girl fell down and cried.

Girl
“Um… well… that was… um… one of my… um… better… um… battles… and… um… next time… um… I think… um… that I… um… can… um… win…”

Tim
“What a freak! I can’t understand a word she says and then she tries to ambush me! Sheesh! And then to top it all off, she runs away from the battle! Well, I guess there’s one good thing that will come of this. Things can’t get worse from here.”

End of Chapter 2
 
Enjoyable. It isn't a masterpiece to be honest, but I really like in-jokes. ESPECIALLY the Deal or No Deal reference.
 
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