Pokemon: The Guardian of the Sea

[Snivy Nation]

This is the first time I tried to write anything Pokemon related. Please give me your views and comments. Edit: Next chapter tonight

Chapter 1: The message is received

At the dock:
"The sky is crystal clear today," I said.

"I know, Leo. It's a perfect day for our fishing trip,"Chris said.

"I'll say!" Amanda chimed in.

As we boarded the boat I saw a strange bird/dragon looking silhouette in the sky. I guessed it was a Dragonite. When we cast of I watched the object fly away. Where are its arms? I thought to myself.

It took about 30 minutes to get to the fishing spot. We used small Goldeen lures to fish with. The first round, we all caught nothing but Magikarp. The second round was a little different, I caught a Remoraid. This, honestly, was the smallest Pokemon I've ever seen. Chris caught another Magikarp and Amanda caught a Seaking.

This went on for about an hour, someone catching a Magikarp and the rest of us catching something like a Tentacool or something else. Once Amanda caught a Horsey.

About the 7th time I cast my line, I heard a voice in my head. "You are my child. The most powerful person in the world. Dive in...Dive in...Dive in," it said.

"You guys hear any thing?" I asked

"Nope," Chris said.

"Me neither," said Amanda with a concerned tone,"Why?"

"I heard a voice in my head, like a message was sent to me telepathically, and I think it was my father. But, wait a minute, he's dead...

 

[The Anonymour]

Congratulations on posting your first fic. : )

A few things I think you could improve on;

1. Character appearances. Where were they? It’s always good to put a face to a name, even if it’s just a little.
2. Length. It was a little short for my tastes. You also didn’t include a few key details, like where, exactly, your characters were.
3. The ending. Your character just assumed that it was a telepathic message, when it would’ve been much more easily explained if, say, he thought someone had whispered in his ear. Oh, also, the cliché “But, wait a minute, he’s dead…” While it fits in mind-numbing sitcoms, I doubt he would really forget his own father was dead.

All in all, an alright first attempt. Keep it up.

 

[Snivy Nation]

Chapter two: Truth of his lost father

"I know,"Amanda said with some hesitation.

"You never realy told us about your father," Leo said. I got the feeling he was trying to pry information from me. They must have known I was about to cry.

"LEO!" Amanda tried to defend me.

"Whaaat! I just wanted to-"

"My father left me and my mom when I was 9 months old. He was going to circumnavigate the globe in a sail boat with a crew of 4 including him. When the crew arrived in Johto, just west of Palette town, my home town, they said that he jumped in to the sea and he was never seen again. The kids at school laughed at me because my father was gone. The only thing I remember of my father was... it was his deep majestic voice and his eyes. He had piercing blue eyes that could quiet a room with one look. His voice could quiet a crying baby and shater a wine glass at the same time. The only reason I became friends with you was because you understood what it was like to loose a parent," I was crying a storm.

"He's right," Leo admited,"My father also commited suicide in the ocean."

"My mother was reported to have jumped off a plane and never hit the ground," Amanda said hesatantly.

"Follow in my foot steps," the voice came back and said. I had some what of an idea of what it ment. Maby death was the best way go. I had the suspicion this voice had a point that I didn't see but subconciously knew. I got up and started walking to the back platform.

"Leo, what are you doing?" Amanda said worried.

I reached the back platform, then I turned around and said,"Following in my father's foot steps." With that, I stepped of of the platform and entered the water. When I hit I felt an instant surge of energy bursting through my body.

"Good. Breathe," the voice told me.

But I can't! I thought back.

The voice kept telling me to breathe. My lungs started to burn, and my head started to hurt. Eventualy, I did do what the voice told me and took a breath. I thought i was going to die, but I realized that I could breathe normaly.

"Excelent. I will reveal myself to you now. Do not be alarmed at my current form," the voice told me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to swim away, but something held me there. I knew the voice had something to show me.

In the distance I heard a moaning sound. The sound was just like the one at the legend festival in the Orange Islands. The sound became louder and louder untill a sillhuette of a bird/dragon thing. Then, the thing sowed it's colors.

I gasped. What was floating in front of me was a Lugia. "You don't recognize me? Perhaps you would recognze me in my human form," He said. His body started to liquify and was floating around me. After a minute his body started to take the shape of a man. His body started to solidify from toe to head. As soon as his face was done solidifying, I knew who this was.

With a warming smile he said,"Hello, Son." Then, he morphed back to his original form.

"Why didn't Mom tell me!?" I yelled at him.

"She was trying to protect you from your fate. Alas, there is something I have to tell you. Chris is your brother. Twin brother. Also Amanda's mother was my sister Ho-oh," he said,"In exactly 6 months time you will take my place. My place as the Guardian of the Sea. Your brother shal replace Suicune of the North Wind, and Amanda shal take the place of my sister Ho-oh."
. . .

Please give me a review of the story so far. Hope you liked it!

 

[Snivy Nation]

Chapter 3: Hidden Powers will emerge

Wow. How will I be able to do that.

"Go to the surface. Tell the others I'll be coming to greet them. I will bring them the news," he told me.

As I turned around I saw a strange opening in the ground. I decided to ignore it. Amanda is going to drill me with questions. With that thought, I surfaced.

"Leo! What on earth were you doing!?" Amanda shouted.

"Please, there is someone that can explain every thing," I told her,"Come on up Lugia!"

"Did you say Lugia!?" Chris snapped.

Then, the Pokemon broke the surface. A giant wave of water complimented the already amazing Pokemon's entrance.

"Hello," the giant Pokemon told us,"Leo, Chris, and Amanda. In six months you will take the place of a legend. Amanda, the free and wild fire spirit, Ho-oh. Chris, the roaming legendary water dog, Suicune. Leo, the guardian of the sea, I, Lugia."

"But, but how!?" Amanda said hesitantly.

"Over the next month, you begin to acquire the powers of your predecessors," Lugia said without hesitation,"Then, the last five months, you will be training with your predecessor to control your powers and on how to transform in to your Pokemon stage."

"How will our predecessors approach us?" Chris asked.

"Don't worry. You will know when it is time to meet your predecessor. Until then, stay apart. You could ruin your powers forever and never be able to assume a Pokemon stage," he warned,"or you will become an uncontrollable power and assume a dark form."

"You mean like Shadow Lugia?" I asked

"What a poor fate to befall my brother," he said dismally,"It is true that I was the one to send him to the Giratina in the Reverse World. Now go. Go back to your homes and stay away from each other for the next month. You will know what to do from there."

"Until next time?" I said.

"Until next time," my father said. And with that, he dove underwater and we drove back to the Palette Dock.
. . . .

Sorry for the late release of the chapter. Please tell me what you think!