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Pokémon Trading Card Game Fanfic

Lief Katano

Lief Katano

Go Rush!
Fuecoco Fan
Joined
Aug 27, 2009
Messages
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Pronouns
  1. He/Him
On TCG Island...
"What did you say?" Card shouted.
"Your. Deck. Sucks." Earl said.
"I challenge you to a battle!" Card said.
"Hiyah!" Earl said. "Trading Card Field, open!"
"Coin Toss!" Card said. "Heads! My move!" He set out his field. So did Earl. "Open!" Poké Balls appeared and let out Pokémon. "Okay, draw it!" Card grinned.
"Lugia...Legend! Set! And Double Energy! Activate!" Card said triumpiantly. "Oh yeah! Poké-Power, Ocean Wave! I get to attach Energy from the top of my deck! And..." Card reeled back in surprise. "3 Lightning, Fire, and Water Energy cards APIECE!" He slide them under the Lugia card. "Now, your turn!"
"I have this here-" he showed Card two Legend cards "-and I'll take you down! Ho-Oh Legend, set! And Grass Energy, set!" Ho-Oh Legend turned the Grass Energy into Fire, "and your turn."
"Lighting Energy, set!" Card said. "Your turn," Card said.
"Double Energy activate!" Earl said. "And Wailmer, go! Your turn."
"Pikachu, retreat!" Card said. "Go! Lugia LEGEND!" Card watched as the two cards dove into the ground and made a small ocean. Then a Lugia appeared, matching the card's vibrant artwork. "Elemental Blast!"
Lightning, Water, and Fire Energy flew out of Lugia and near it's mouth. KYROH! Turtwig fainted. Card got a Prize Card.
"Go! Wailmer!" Earl said. "Evolution! Wailmer to Wailord!" Earl watched as the round Pokémon got bigger. A lot bigger. "Your turn."
"Elemental Blast!" Card said.
KO.
Same thing with Ho-Oh.
"That was easy." Card said.
Here are pictures:
 
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Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

The pictures do not help. The only thing I could understand was the first line. Lugia Legend has Ocean Grow, not what you said. You fragment things too much. I don't know what anything looks like. The explanation for what cards do is minimal to non-existent.
Also, you need to discard to use Elemental Blast. If I read correctly, which it is so badly written that I wouldn't doubt that, you only attached one of each.

Just bad. Try again.
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

My bad!!! I am not good at remembering cards I don't have, and I thought you attached every Energy you find to Lugia LEGEND. And I skipped the steps of Card dicarding the cards (later you'll see what happens if you don't discard the Energy).
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

You do attach all of them. Sorry if I sounded extravagantly mean at the time. I had finished reading a few bad things beforehand and had very high expectations for whatever came next.
But still, I might've read it wrong.

Also, you can't start with Lugia Legend on the field. He's LEGEND, not Basic.
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

(I know. The game had started when Card played Lugia LEGEND on the field.)
"You got lucky..." Earl said.
"Lugia LEGEND never gets lucky, he's win," Card said.
"See ya, wouldn't be ya," Earl said. Pikachu came out of Card Form(On this TCG, all Basic Cards can change to and from Cards to Pokémon). "Hey buddy," Card said, rubbing Pikachu's cheek. "It's good to see you after the battle. To Duel Stadium!"
"In the first match! It's Card...a rookie...versues Mark! The leader of the Darkness Stadium!" the announcer called.
"Card Field, open!"
"Okay, battle! Electric Energy, set! Pikachu use Thundershock!" An Electric Energy flew out of Pikachu and broke into electric shocks. Pikachu shocked Poochyana. (Note: I may have to make up attacks)
"Huh? Starting out with Pikachu? Lame. Bite, Poochyena!" Mark said.
"Cyndaquil, go!" Card said. A Poké Ball appeared and let out Cyndaquil. "Fire Energy, set!" Pikachu used Thundershock. Poochyena was Paralyzed. "Evolution! Cyndaquil to Quilava! Fire Energy set!" Again, Pikachu used Thundershock. Poochyena has 20HP. Poochyena used Bite. "Let's bring this on! Time for...Typhloshion Prime! And Fire Energy...set! Trainer Card activate! Potion!" Card said. "Pikachu, Thundershock!" Poochyena was Paralyzed, and Mark sent out Sableye. Pikachu=Thundershock. Poocheyana was Knocked Out. "Go, Sableye!" The card floated out and became the Pokémon with crystal eyes. "Darkness Energy, Set!" Mark grinned. "Darkness Fullback!" (Yes, that's made up.) Pikachu was Knocked Out. (Note: The next card is most indefinetly FAKE.) "Stadium! Prime Defender!" The terrian changed to rocky, moutainus, etc., perfect to train, espically if you're already strong. "Go! Typhlosion Prime!" A huge, firey burst appeared, signaling a powerful card, Prime. "And let's party! Eruption!" (If that isn't the name, notify me.) Sableye went down. "That. Was awesome" Card said.
Outside the Duel Stadium...
(It's okay. Do you like it?)
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

You have a good idea, it just needs a lot of work.

First of all, what do your characters look like? What does the setting look like? What do the cards, Pokemon and attacks look like? Details like these are all a big help.

Second, try and space everything out--it's hard to read when it's bunched up like that.

Third, what is the plot of the story? Is there an overarching reason why these characters are dueling?

Remember, I'm not trying to be mean, I only want to help you make this the best story it can be
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

Okay, you are lacking description. You started out well, but it all went downhill from there. There was some description, but not much. Your chapters are extremely short as well. Wait, I don't even know if they were chapters. Your change of scenes are alittle sudden if you ask me. It seemed that this was more of an exam than a story for fun. Slow down alittle, don't be afraid to write some. What is the plot? Or are these just a series of battles? I like the change of themes from a constant standard battling. I hope I am not on your poo list, because this is supposed to help you become a better writer. I am looking forward to improvement, and shall be reviewing again. P.S. Your grammar was great!
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

You could look at the spoiler. Allso, after a while, the plot appears.
I described what Electrical Energy looks like, but I'm not sure if anyone caught me, but I described Elemental Blast. The Electrical, Water, and Fire Energy grouped up and shot out a beam. Here's what the move Sableye used: he charges within a black coating. Otherwise, it was probaly in the anime (i.e. Bite, Thundershock.)
Well, it was better than my Trainer Battle fanfic...DON'T GO!
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

Thanks for the advice.
(Note: Should I stupidly, or betterly, start up a Trainer Battle fanfic, using advice I collected from here and there, Soul's name will be Lyra, and Gold's...may be Kevin. But Soul is now Lyra!)
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

I didn't mind the pictures. You just need to describe some more! I am really not in the mood or have the time to show you what your fanfic, so, just believe me. I hope to read more!
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

(Your wish is granted...and...here)
"Okay Pikachu, maybe we can go to the Training Stadium next..." Card said.
"Hey! Yeah, wait up!"
Card stopped. "Hey, Card. I have two things."
First, Mark gave Card the Darkness Reactor Medal. "That's also a Energy Card. If that's attached to a Darkness card, it also allows you to use Dark Reactor, and it's with a Prom※o Card. It's my favorite!"
Card also got a Sableye Dual Dark/Psych card. "And also, maybe I could join you?" Card almost fainted. Actually, he did. Mark rifted through his red hair. "I'll take that as a yes..." Mark said, and dragged Card away to his Stadium.
"Oh, hey, Mark," Card said. "Sure you can join."
"We interrupt this commercial break to inform you the Cardnappers have stolen the most powerful card: the Finale Energy, giving any card one of the most powerful attacks: Explosion of Energy. Police forces are wary, as for the card's powerfulness."
"That's a goal. C'mon! We'll get all the Special Energy Cards, and catch those thieves!" Mark said, and Sableye appeared.
"Sabl! Sableye!" he agreed.
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

It's improving, little by little. Keep working on the description! :)
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

(May you be my "Rater" dude that tells me how I'm doing?)
"Okay, a dual-typed Pokémon card? Those were forever ago!" Card said, looking at the Sableye Card.
"Yeah, but more Dual cards are being found. And some of them aren't even Darkness or Metal!" Mark said.
"Huh? What's that over there?" Card said.
"Looks like anotther Dual card." Mark said, ruffing back his hair, making his mowhawk go a bit lower.
"It says...Raikou...and Suicune Legend...but it's just the top half of the card," Card said.
"A duel Pokémon card?" Mark said. "Oh boy."
"It's a duel type Lighting/Water Card," Card said.
"Hey! That card is mine!" Earl screamed.
"Earl? Wait, that loser? I beat him earlier. Even his LEGEND," Mark said.
Card whistled. "Okay, Earl, we'll settle a deal. We beat you, you give us your half. You beat us-" Mark snorted, "-we'll give you our half."
"Okay," Earl said.
"Trading Card Field, Open!"
Mark and Card set out 3 Prizes. Earl set out 6. "Duel Sableye, set! And Darkness Reactor Medal, set!" Earl sent out Chikorita and Nosepass. Mark sent out Sableye. "Use Dark Reactor!" Dual Sableye's crystals glowed, and his claws grew. "To Chikorita!" Sableye got enshouded by a dark beam. As it got closer, the black beam got cloaked by a litepurple color. Sableye's claws extended from the beam and grabbed Chikorita.
"Chikooooo!" Chikorita cried.
"If a Psychic Card is in play, it does 40 damage plus 30 more damage for each Special Energy in play!" Mark announced.
"Nosepass! Evolve into Dual Probopass! And Special: Duel Energy Set!" Earl said. "Attack with Magent Nose!" Two Colorless Energy symbols flew out of Probopass, turned into Metal Energy, exploded to pieces, and went back in. The mini-noses and big nose glowed. "To Dual Sableye! 40 to the power of 2!"
Sableye was KOed. Normal Sableye. Shielded Dual Sableye.
To Be Continued.
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

Ooo... This is getting interesting! Keep practicing on that description!
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

(Got it. A new, made-up card will appear.)
"Don't count me out yet!" Mark said. "Card's still got a card, and I'm safe! Okay, go! I give you! Darkrai...Legend!!!!"
(Yeah, I know. Why in the world, blah-blah-blah. No body's done this before, so, what?)
A dark shroud appeared from the ground. A dark, sinister Pok'emon appeared from the ground. A Pok'emon with blue eyes and a red jaw "necklace" appeared. Darrrrrrrkraiiii it said.
"And I attach a Darkness Reactor Energy to Darkrai Legend! Use Dark Reactor!"
Darkrai glowed green, activating Dark Shadow. Darkrai's hand glowed purple, drawing energy from Sableye. Darkrai then punched Probopass. Probopass was still consious, however.
"Just charging up for a big attack! Go, Lugia LEGEND!!!" The two-card Pok'emon appeared on Card's bench. "Use Ocean Grow!" The cards glowed red. Card drew 5 cards, and took three. "Let's fire it up!" A Lighting, Water, and Fire Energy went into Lugia's card. "And go! Baby Pok'emon Pichu!" A Pichu card (design: DP Set Mysterious Tresures) appeared. "Your, turn, Earl."
"Go! Ho-Oh LEGEND!" Earl said, setting down the LEGEND card. "And Probopass, retreat! Grass Energy, set!" The Grass symbol turned to the Fire symbol. "Your turn."
To be continued...
 
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Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

you know, you might contact Aladar. He's really good at reviewing and showed me how much I REALLY needed description. I think, you got some of the description done, but you need the describe the SETTING. You should also make your chapters longer and double-space your paragraphs.

"(Yeah, I know. Why in the world, blah-blah-blah. No body's done this before, so, what?)"
Now this confused me. What are you talking about???

"Darkrai then punched Probopass. Probopass was still alive, however."
Umm, pokemon don't usually die, they just faint.

You also have some grammatical issues. The plot is interesting and unusual. Keep working and you will get it.
 
Re: Pokémon Training Card Game Fanfic

A tag-team double-battle...that's the blah-blah-blah. I know you automaticlly lose if you have no-zero, zip, nada, g00se eggs-cards. But, on Tag Team Battles in Pokémon D/P/Pt/HG/SS, if one person loses all Pokémon (easy for the Stat trainers-Riley (woohoo!), Cheryl, Mira, Buck, and Marley-because they only have 1 Pokémon. But back on topic.) So it only made since to me that you could do that in the TCG. And also, the reason why I made Darkrai LEGEND is so every one has a single-card LEGEND (except for the topsies-based on the E4-they have dual-LEGEND cards, except for Ear-you know like in the video games, Rivals-the champs, in R/B/Y/FR/LG/TCG/TCG2. He still has Ho-Oh LEGEND. So, that's a guide for my TCG RP. And, will contact Aladar (I think it was Alatar. And yeah, sorry. I couldn't think of any other way (consious, maybe?) But I'll change that.
 
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