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No content warnings apply, other than for my specific sense of humor.
I never expected to post anything in this section ever, and yet here we are.
Alternate title: Umbreon and the chamber of secrets.
This work is a satire on living in late stage capitalism. It is also a Pokémon Horizons fanfic, but even if you did not watch it, as long as you are familiar with the Pokémon world, you should be able to enjoy it.
The whole premise contains “spoilers” for episode 89-91 though. (Does not really spoil anything after that)
Characters: The Explorers, Exceed as an organization, you- the reader!
See end of work for footnotes and more context on this fic.
Imagine this:
It’s a beautiful, sunny Monday. You are buzzing with anticipation. Finally, you have reached the 5th and final stage of the recruitment process at the renowned Exceed Corporation.
You and your trusty partner Pokémon had to jump through hoops, both literal and metaphorical, to get to where you are right now.
When the freshly announced section of the company, the Explorers, started recruiting, you knew you had to give it a shot. You have dreamed about this kind of job for a really, really long time. You truly believe in the group’s noble mission statements, about protecting the environment and bringing a bright future to humans and Pokémon. And on top of it, they promise a damn great salary.
The previous 4 stages were quite grueling, but still, you persevered.
You are getting ready to deliver your power-point presentation about the prospective market for new vitality supplements for Pokémon to Exceed's current CEO, Spinel.
He watches you with a polite smile as you nervously go through each of your diligently prepared graphs and charts. But something about his pose, his expression, and overall demeanor tells you that you have lost this race before it even really began.
When you end your presentation, Spinel gives you an indifferent look and tells you that "you will be contacted about the results of today's interview." You have a feeling that you won't. You will probably be ghosted as if you were a freaking Gengar.
You leave the office, and walk out into the bustling streets of Levincia. Suddenly you have an overwhelming urge to abandon everything, sell all of your belongings and fly over to Alola and live off the sea and raw Berries.
Was all of your effort even worth it? You honestly do not know.
But at least Spinel's Umbreon was cute.
The Umbreon was cute... But it had a strange, guilty expression on its face. What was it about?
Well, this secret is not for you to uncover.
---
A couple of days have passed. You realize that you don’t have enough money for a plane ticket to Alola. You also don’t feel like selling all of your substitute doll plushies in order to afford the trip,
so you busy yourself with looking at other job opportunities.
You are seriously contemplating whether you should apply for that gig at a churro stand. Sure, you are way too overqualified for it, but… One of the perks of the job are free churros. Free churros! You like churros, and that would mean not having to worry about what to eat for breakfast everyday.
You almost click the “apply” button, but are interrupted by your Rotom phone’s excited buzzing.
It’s from Exceed. You briefly hesitate. A pleasant vision flashes before your eyes: a modest, boring but simple and wholesome future filled with churros, chocolate and sandwiches. Nothing special, nothing dangerous.
Then you pick up the phone.
---
The next week or two are kind of a blur. You were given a cool uniform with a pink stripe and an Explorers badge and stuff, but your actual position is much lower than what you initially hoped for.
Almost everyone calls your position “level 1 grunt” even though it does have an actual ridiculous fancy official name which you already managed to forget.
You are formally a part of the Explorers now, but you are tasked with all sorts of labor around the Exceed corporation. Your actual area of responsibilities is much wider than what is written in your job description.
Sometimes you are tasked with filling in some random Exceedcell sheets that no one else wants to take care of.
One time you were part of the security detail for a convoy transporting something between different Exceed facilities.
You were told by your coworkers jokingly: “Do not ask about what’s inside that transport, or else your face will transform into a Meowstic’s mug.”* You had no idea what that means, so you just assumed it is some strange corporate culture term and just moved on. Later on, you learned that it is a translation of a common saying from a Faraway Place.**
One of your responsibilities is also helping with the general maintenance of the Explorers’ training centers. You also have to scrub off all the scorch marks and help with repairs after Coral and Sidian’s, frequently quite explosive, exhibition matches.
You wonder if the audience would enjoy their bombastic shows a little less if they knew how much work you and the other nameless grunts have to put into cleaning up their mess.
…Probably not.
This knowledge (and experience) have certainly changed your perception of events like these. You also have the feeling that Sidian’s and Coral’s Pokémon during their shows are acting just a little off. Maybe they don’t like performing for a crowd after all? Or maybe something else is going on. Weird.
But you are not paid for your opinions, so you keep your mouth shut. You weren’t actually paid at all yet!
Out of all of your activities, your most important daily quest is fueling Chalce’s caffeine habits.
For better or for worse, she somehow took a liking to you. Or at least you think so. It is hard to tell because she almost always has a serious expression. But this means she specifically asked for you to always deliver her her first morning coffee. You must also bring her yerba mate and water refills for it throughout the day. It wouldn’t be that big of a problem… if Chalce wasn’t so damn picky about what she drinks. You regularly have to fly all the way to that one shop in Mesagoza to get her favorite blends and leave. On top of that, you had to watch a bunch of Pokétube tutorials in order to learn how to properly brew them.
You can’t help but wonder why is Chalce so often basically glued to her monitors. You sneak a peek on her screens once in a while. It seems that she’s almost constantly observing a live feed of what is going on in and outside of various Exceed facilities. Weird. Why would someone so high up be in charge of what should be a security guard’s work? You don’t ask, of course.
---
Several weeks pass. You settle into a routine and manage to get used to all of the aforementioned duties.
Technically speaking, you are still an intern, even though you are expected to perform on the same level as a full employee… while still receiving an intern’s salary. Great.
All of this is definitely much less glorious than you hoped it would be. You wanted to work on projects that would help all humans, Pokémon and the environment, not be Chalce’s personal barista. Maybe, just maybe, if you work hard enough, you will get promoted and you will finally start doing what you came here for…
---
Weeks turn into months. Finally, you graduate from intern to full time employee. You are now officially allowed to participate in Berry Mondays! Before the promotion you have only “participated” unofficially… by letting your Pokémon partake when no one was looking. You are pretty sure your Pokémon wasn’t the only unofficial participant, judging by how quickly the Berries seemed to disappear.
The Berry Mondays are a great opportunity for socialization, so you take the time to gossip by the Spinda themed Juice presser.
You hear some murmurs from older employees that things used to be different here.
Spinel’s rise to to the top has caused shifts in the company culture. The new leader also made significant changes in the company’s hierarchy. Right now, the boundaries between the Explorers and the rest of Exceed are not clear-cut. The middle management especially still feels a little confused about the chain of command.
From the outside the Exceed corporation looks well put together, but your personal opinion is that its internal structure is a little bit of a mess. But then again, you are just a “grunt”. What do you know? Spinel probably knows best how to run things here, as the one in charge.
Speaking about Spinel…
This guy is giving you the creeps. Sure, he seems affable at first glance. Some (more like, many) call him sexy. You saw that he won a popularity poll in Levinciapolitan, the web magazine (and podcast) that you read for fun sometimes. You participated in this oh-so-important-election, but you did not vote for him. It would have felt weird.
Because you are a low level grunt, you do not run into Spinel that often, but when you do, you get the feeling that there is just something, for lack of a better word, inexplicably cold about him. And your impression is that almost no one except the topmost Explorers notice that about him.
Spinel’s Umbreon, on the other hand, is as cute as ever. It somehow looks fluffier every time you see it.
---
A couple months pass.
You find out that your ideas from the tasks you did for the job interviews have been implemented in one of the company’s projects, without giving you any sort of credit. It only adds to your not-so-stellar opinion about Exceed’s management in general. You decide to not press the issue. You have a hunch that antagonizing your higher ups would not end well for you.
Stress starts to accumulate in your body. You would like to get some time off to be able to travel to the mindfulness sessions held by the community around the Alfornada gym. Unfortunately, you just can’t find a way to cram it into your schedule. You keep being asked to work overtime with moving boxes and calling subcontractors to tell them to hurry up. It is paid overtime, for the record. Medium bar to clear, as far as overtime goes, but still. You don’t like this at all. In theory, you can refuse. In practice, you know that if you do, your “productivity rating” will go down… and so will your chances for a promotion or a bonus. And there is this new game called “Normal Animals: Legends Alfa-Omega” for the Swap 2 handheld console that you would like to be able to afford… Not like you would actually have any time to play it… And your partner Pokémon really deserves some new toys too…
----
Yet another Monday. You are forced to read yet another email from your current team manager. That email looks as if it was written by a Rotom who ate fermented Berries. You can’t help but wonder who promoted this guy to a management position, or even hired him in the first place. He seems to be too stupid to be able to operate a Pokéball. You should have been the one to be promoted instead.
You feel like you are -this- close to breaking down.
Then, something unexpected happens.
The lights go out.
That is an extremely rare occurrence here. An electricity outage? In Levincia? The city with the million volt skyline? Home of the electric type gym?
A couple seconds pass… Everyone in the office is still calm, because they know there is a backup generator system.
It switches on…
Then the lights flicker and dim!
What is going on?
“The Tadbulbs went on strike!” someone shouts in the corridor. “I repeat, the Tadbulbs went on strike!”
Then, chaos ensues.
---
Spinel himself has decided to grace the offices with his presence, and the other top Explorers followed suit.
A couple minutes later, some semblance of order has been restored. Say what you want about them, but you can’t say that the Explorers don’t know how to act in a crisis situation.
A group was dispatched to join up with gym leader Iono in order to negotiate with the Tadbulbs. Namely, Coral and Sidian. Why did the Explorers think that this was a good idea, it is anyone’s guess.
It is quite clear to everyone who knows Coral’s temperament that the negotiations could turn violent very, very quickly. Maybe that’s the point?
Everyone else is supposed to standby and resume their work as best as they can in this situation. The workday is not over yet, so the show must go on. No matter how pointless it may be.
The top brass leaves, and the Exceed offices go abuzz with discussion.
Some employees want to go out on the streets and join the Tadbulb strike. Some just want to show solidarity by not working too – an easy thing to do without electricity, to be honest.
You look outside the window. On the streets, there is a whole army of Tadbulbs. They are the brightest objects in the whole city now, and their yellow lights have everyone's attention. The Tadbulbs all gather in a plaza, and start moving in a strange way. Then, after a while, you understand what they are doing.
They are trying to spell something out with their bodies.
Finally, they stop moving, and form a single word.
It says: TADBULB
“Oh, they are members of the proletariat so they are not very eloquent in stating their demands”, someone jokes. Somebody replies that they should stop being a classist and that they should read the Sandwich book. Another person asks: “What do sandwich recipes have to do with anything?”. An argument breaks out about whether the order of the ingredients in a sandwich is a justified hierarchy or not. If the Tadbulbs’ goal was to stop everyone from working, they certainly succeeded.
With the corner of your eye, you notice a faint yellow glow coming from the corridor. “It could be a Tadbulb or Bellibolt”, you think to yourself, and decide to quickly check it out. Maybe you could communicate with it somehow? It’s much more productive than arguing about a book you have not read yet.
The yellow light moves very quickly! You have to run to try to catch up with it!
While chasing it, you realize it is running towards a part of the building that has been off limits to you. Without a proper power supply, the doors and security systems are not working exactly as they should. On top of it, all security guards are busy looking at the Tadbulbs outside, so there is no issue with you getting in. The corridors look very eerie to you with the lights out. But you don’t feel like giving up. You realize that the yellow glow disappeared somewhere… wait, is that a hidden door? It looks like a wall, but it moves aside when pushed...
You cautiously tread inside… There are no windows in this room, so it is quite dark. You use your Rotom phone as a flashlight in order to see better…
What the light reveals to you is a large, mostly empty space with (now inactive) LED lighting strips on the walls and floors. In the middle of the room stands a big chair that looks sort of like a throne. There seem to be some electronic devices attached to it. On two sides of the room there are also some big ominous weird cubes, supposedly boxes of some sort.
You walk up to the throne. You notice that there is a book lying on it. You pick it up.
It is a photo album filled mostly with pictures of one person: A tall, fit, tan man with white hair. Some of the photos have pink hearts drawn on them.
Wait a second, isn’t that Friede? From the Rising Volt Tacklers? The group that the Explorers are accusing of environmental destruction and other villainous deeds?
You are snapped out of your confusion by a munching sound behind you.
”Omnomnomnom.”
You turn around. In the corner, you can see the true source of the yellow glow that you have been chasing after. It is Spinel’s Umbreon. It is feasting on a modest pile of nanab berries. Apparently it dragged a really big bag of those in here, possibly straight from the Berry Monday storage room.
It must be pretty dang strong to be able to run so quickly with that bag in its mouth. Maybe it trained it a lot… Now the dots connect in your head. This is the reason the Umbreon had that guilty expression on that Monday… why the Berry Monday fruits always disappeared so quickly… why the Umbreon became so fluffy…
…it turns out that Umbreon’s secrets were for you to uncover after all.
Umbreon notices you noticing it. Its fur stands up. It makes a growling sound, then grabs the now half empty, torn bag in its mouth and slowly backs off towards the exit, creating a trail of fruit behind it. “It’s fine, you can have those” you say softly, trying not to spook it out even further. You assume it was just nervous from today’s ruckus and ran with the berries here to have some peace and quiet. Maybe you can calm it down a little?
You blink slowly at the Umbreon, take a step towards it and say: “You don’t have to run away, I won’t tell anyone about your secret!”
”Oh, I’ll make sure you won’t.” You hear a cold, familiar voice… you look up. It’s Spinel, standing in the doorway.
You realize… you’re still holding the photo album in your hand. Ooops. He looks at it. You look at him looking at it. He looks at you looking at him looking.
He steps forward quickly while taking out a Pokéball. Beheeyem comes out of it.
“Beheeyem, erase the–” Spinel does not finish the sentence.
Thud!
He slips on a nanab berry peel and falls on the floor with a surprised yell.
You don’t wait for him to get up. You drop the photo album and run past him, while making sure to avoid the nanab berry traps Umbreon has set. You don’t look back.
You don’t even bother picking up your stuff from the office, there was nothing noteworthy there.
You leave the Exceed building as quickly as you can. The Tadbulbs are still here, protesting, together with some humans who decided to join them. You go into the crowd and start chanting together with them.
“Tadbulb! Tadbulb!”
After a couple of hours, some sort of understanding is reached, despite Coral’s threats to blow up everything. Recently, the Tadbulbs were receiving less berries than what they needed, so from now on they will be given enough to make sure all of them are full. They will also get more paid days off. A big festival celebrating their contributions was announced to thank them for their hard work powering the city.
You go home, and when the power comes back, you send an email with your two-weeks-notice. You also “cash in” all of your accumulated PTO.
---
Epilogue:
You Fly to Alola, and start a modest churro stand, which becomes fairly popular. Your success is big enough to let you turn it into an actual fully fledged business. Churros are quite an exotic dish here after all, and the coffee you serve with them is to die for.
In your free time, you decide to read the Sandwich book the guys at Exceed mentioned during the Tadbulb strike. It really was not a cookbook after all. Even though it was more than a little dated, and you did not agree with everything written there, it still had some good ideas. After poring over the book, you decide to transform the churro business into a cooperative owned collectively by your employees and their Pokémon alike. You start giving free sandwiches and churros to those in need, no questions asked, and in return, the local community brings you ingredients for those.
Everyone is happy.
Except Spinel, probably.
The end
Footnotes:
* “nie interesuj się bo kociej mordy dostaniesz”- from Polish. Literal translation is “don’t get too interested in this or you’ll get a cats’ face”. Actual meaning: “don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong”
** this is funny because a lot of Poles emigrate to Western Europe for work. So it would make sense for our slang to enter local Paldean vocabulary. Poland does not have a corresponding region in the Pokéworld, so it is just a “faraway place”.
Yes, I know, if I have to explain the joke it means it is probably not that funny. It is funny to me though, and writing fanfiction is primarily a self indulgent activity after all, so whatever
I never intended to write anything tbh, I just sort of did. My brain (hopefully temporarily) refused to deal with processing visual information properly so I can’t draw for now. So this came out instead. This fic started as a shitpost on Mastodon half a year ago.
Preferred comment type: I am not really interested in receiving heavy, deep or elaborate critique because I am not particularly interested in improving my writing. If you want to roast my work, go to my fanart threads and have at it. If you notice some egregious errors or grammar mistakes, unneeded commas, stuff like that, go ahead and tell me. English is, chronologically speaking, my 3rd language, I probably didn’t catch all of those. I am also fine with you rating this fic’s cringe level with an imaginary number. I am looking forward to your creativity.
Edit: you know what, I changed my mind. I might write more stuff in the future so if you want to do a full review, go for it
I never expected to post anything in this section ever, and yet here we are.
Alternate title: Umbreon and the chamber of secrets.
This work is a satire on living in late stage capitalism. It is also a Pokémon Horizons fanfic, but even if you did not watch it, as long as you are familiar with the Pokémon world, you should be able to enjoy it.
The whole premise contains “spoilers” for episode 89-91 though. (Does not really spoil anything after that)
Characters: The Explorers, Exceed as an organization, you- the reader!
See end of work for footnotes and more context on this fic.
Imagine this:
It’s a beautiful, sunny Monday. You are buzzing with anticipation. Finally, you have reached the 5th and final stage of the recruitment process at the renowned Exceed Corporation.
You and your trusty partner Pokémon had to jump through hoops, both literal and metaphorical, to get to where you are right now.
When the freshly announced section of the company, the Explorers, started recruiting, you knew you had to give it a shot. You have dreamed about this kind of job for a really, really long time. You truly believe in the group’s noble mission statements, about protecting the environment and bringing a bright future to humans and Pokémon. And on top of it, they promise a damn great salary.
The previous 4 stages were quite grueling, but still, you persevered.
You are getting ready to deliver your power-point presentation about the prospective market for new vitality supplements for Pokémon to Exceed's current CEO, Spinel.
He watches you with a polite smile as you nervously go through each of your diligently prepared graphs and charts. But something about his pose, his expression, and overall demeanor tells you that you have lost this race before it even really began.
When you end your presentation, Spinel gives you an indifferent look and tells you that "you will be contacted about the results of today's interview." You have a feeling that you won't. You will probably be ghosted as if you were a freaking Gengar.
You leave the office, and walk out into the bustling streets of Levincia. Suddenly you have an overwhelming urge to abandon everything, sell all of your belongings and fly over to Alola and live off the sea and raw Berries.
Was all of your effort even worth it? You honestly do not know.
But at least Spinel's Umbreon was cute.
The Umbreon was cute... But it had a strange, guilty expression on its face. What was it about?
Well, this secret is not for you to uncover.
---
A couple of days have passed. You realize that you don’t have enough money for a plane ticket to Alola. You also don’t feel like selling all of your substitute doll plushies in order to afford the trip,
so you busy yourself with looking at other job opportunities.
You are seriously contemplating whether you should apply for that gig at a churro stand. Sure, you are way too overqualified for it, but… One of the perks of the job are free churros. Free churros! You like churros, and that would mean not having to worry about what to eat for breakfast everyday.
You almost click the “apply” button, but are interrupted by your Rotom phone’s excited buzzing.
It’s from Exceed. You briefly hesitate. A pleasant vision flashes before your eyes: a modest, boring but simple and wholesome future filled with churros, chocolate and sandwiches. Nothing special, nothing dangerous.
Then you pick up the phone.
---
The next week or two are kind of a blur. You were given a cool uniform with a pink stripe and an Explorers badge and stuff, but your actual position is much lower than what you initially hoped for.
Almost everyone calls your position “level 1 grunt” even though it does have an actual ridiculous fancy official name which you already managed to forget.
You are formally a part of the Explorers now, but you are tasked with all sorts of labor around the Exceed corporation. Your actual area of responsibilities is much wider than what is written in your job description.
Sometimes you are tasked with filling in some random Exceedcell sheets that no one else wants to take care of.
One time you were part of the security detail for a convoy transporting something between different Exceed facilities.
You were told by your coworkers jokingly: “Do not ask about what’s inside that transport, or else your face will transform into a Meowstic’s mug.”* You had no idea what that means, so you just assumed it is some strange corporate culture term and just moved on. Later on, you learned that it is a translation of a common saying from a Faraway Place.**
One of your responsibilities is also helping with the general maintenance of the Explorers’ training centers. You also have to scrub off all the scorch marks and help with repairs after Coral and Sidian’s, frequently quite explosive, exhibition matches.
You wonder if the audience would enjoy their bombastic shows a little less if they knew how much work you and the other nameless grunts have to put into cleaning up their mess.
…Probably not.
This knowledge (and experience) have certainly changed your perception of events like these. You also have the feeling that Sidian’s and Coral’s Pokémon during their shows are acting just a little off. Maybe they don’t like performing for a crowd after all? Or maybe something else is going on. Weird.
But you are not paid for your opinions, so you keep your mouth shut. You weren’t actually paid at all yet!
Out of all of your activities, your most important daily quest is fueling Chalce’s caffeine habits.
For better or for worse, she somehow took a liking to you. Or at least you think so. It is hard to tell because she almost always has a serious expression. But this means she specifically asked for you to always deliver her her first morning coffee. You must also bring her yerba mate and water refills for it throughout the day. It wouldn’t be that big of a problem… if Chalce wasn’t so damn picky about what she drinks. You regularly have to fly all the way to that one shop in Mesagoza to get her favorite blends and leave. On top of that, you had to watch a bunch of Pokétube tutorials in order to learn how to properly brew them.
You can’t help but wonder why is Chalce so often basically glued to her monitors. You sneak a peek on her screens once in a while. It seems that she’s almost constantly observing a live feed of what is going on in and outside of various Exceed facilities. Weird. Why would someone so high up be in charge of what should be a security guard’s work? You don’t ask, of course.
---
Several weeks pass. You settle into a routine and manage to get used to all of the aforementioned duties.
Technically speaking, you are still an intern, even though you are expected to perform on the same level as a full employee… while still receiving an intern’s salary. Great.
All of this is definitely much less glorious than you hoped it would be. You wanted to work on projects that would help all humans, Pokémon and the environment, not be Chalce’s personal barista. Maybe, just maybe, if you work hard enough, you will get promoted and you will finally start doing what you came here for…
---
Weeks turn into months. Finally, you graduate from intern to full time employee. You are now officially allowed to participate in Berry Mondays! Before the promotion you have only “participated” unofficially… by letting your Pokémon partake when no one was looking. You are pretty sure your Pokémon wasn’t the only unofficial participant, judging by how quickly the Berries seemed to disappear.
The Berry Mondays are a great opportunity for socialization, so you take the time to gossip by the Spinda themed Juice presser.
You hear some murmurs from older employees that things used to be different here.
Spinel’s rise to to the top has caused shifts in the company culture. The new leader also made significant changes in the company’s hierarchy. Right now, the boundaries between the Explorers and the rest of Exceed are not clear-cut. The middle management especially still feels a little confused about the chain of command.
From the outside the Exceed corporation looks well put together, but your personal opinion is that its internal structure is a little bit of a mess. But then again, you are just a “grunt”. What do you know? Spinel probably knows best how to run things here, as the one in charge.
Speaking about Spinel…
This guy is giving you the creeps. Sure, he seems affable at first glance. Some (more like, many) call him sexy. You saw that he won a popularity poll in Levinciapolitan, the web magazine (and podcast) that you read for fun sometimes. You participated in this oh-so-important-election, but you did not vote for him. It would have felt weird.
Because you are a low level grunt, you do not run into Spinel that often, but when you do, you get the feeling that there is just something, for lack of a better word, inexplicably cold about him. And your impression is that almost no one except the topmost Explorers notice that about him.
Spinel’s Umbreon, on the other hand, is as cute as ever. It somehow looks fluffier every time you see it.
---
A couple months pass.
You find out that your ideas from the tasks you did for the job interviews have been implemented in one of the company’s projects, without giving you any sort of credit. It only adds to your not-so-stellar opinion about Exceed’s management in general. You decide to not press the issue. You have a hunch that antagonizing your higher ups would not end well for you.
Stress starts to accumulate in your body. You would like to get some time off to be able to travel to the mindfulness sessions held by the community around the Alfornada gym. Unfortunately, you just can’t find a way to cram it into your schedule. You keep being asked to work overtime with moving boxes and calling subcontractors to tell them to hurry up. It is paid overtime, for the record. Medium bar to clear, as far as overtime goes, but still. You don’t like this at all. In theory, you can refuse. In practice, you know that if you do, your “productivity rating” will go down… and so will your chances for a promotion or a bonus. And there is this new game called “Normal Animals: Legends Alfa-Omega” for the Swap 2 handheld console that you would like to be able to afford… Not like you would actually have any time to play it… And your partner Pokémon really deserves some new toys too…
----
Yet another Monday. You are forced to read yet another email from your current team manager. That email looks as if it was written by a Rotom who ate fermented Berries. You can’t help but wonder who promoted this guy to a management position, or even hired him in the first place. He seems to be too stupid to be able to operate a Pokéball. You should have been the one to be promoted instead.
You feel like you are -this- close to breaking down.
Then, something unexpected happens.
The lights go out.
That is an extremely rare occurrence here. An electricity outage? In Levincia? The city with the million volt skyline? Home of the electric type gym?
A couple seconds pass… Everyone in the office is still calm, because they know there is a backup generator system.
It switches on…
Then the lights flicker and dim!
What is going on?
“The Tadbulbs went on strike!” someone shouts in the corridor. “I repeat, the Tadbulbs went on strike!”
Then, chaos ensues.
---
Spinel himself has decided to grace the offices with his presence, and the other top Explorers followed suit.
A couple minutes later, some semblance of order has been restored. Say what you want about them, but you can’t say that the Explorers don’t know how to act in a crisis situation.
A group was dispatched to join up with gym leader Iono in order to negotiate with the Tadbulbs. Namely, Coral and Sidian. Why did the Explorers think that this was a good idea, it is anyone’s guess.
It is quite clear to everyone who knows Coral’s temperament that the negotiations could turn violent very, very quickly. Maybe that’s the point?
Everyone else is supposed to standby and resume their work as best as they can in this situation. The workday is not over yet, so the show must go on. No matter how pointless it may be.
The top brass leaves, and the Exceed offices go abuzz with discussion.
Some employees want to go out on the streets and join the Tadbulb strike. Some just want to show solidarity by not working too – an easy thing to do without electricity, to be honest.
You look outside the window. On the streets, there is a whole army of Tadbulbs. They are the brightest objects in the whole city now, and their yellow lights have everyone's attention. The Tadbulbs all gather in a plaza, and start moving in a strange way. Then, after a while, you understand what they are doing.
They are trying to spell something out with their bodies.
Finally, they stop moving, and form a single word.
It says: TADBULB
“Oh, they are members of the proletariat so they are not very eloquent in stating their demands”, someone jokes. Somebody replies that they should stop being a classist and that they should read the Sandwich book. Another person asks: “What do sandwich recipes have to do with anything?”. An argument breaks out about whether the order of the ingredients in a sandwich is a justified hierarchy or not. If the Tadbulbs’ goal was to stop everyone from working, they certainly succeeded.
With the corner of your eye, you notice a faint yellow glow coming from the corridor. “It could be a Tadbulb or Bellibolt”, you think to yourself, and decide to quickly check it out. Maybe you could communicate with it somehow? It’s much more productive than arguing about a book you have not read yet.
The yellow light moves very quickly! You have to run to try to catch up with it!
While chasing it, you realize it is running towards a part of the building that has been off limits to you. Without a proper power supply, the doors and security systems are not working exactly as they should. On top of it, all security guards are busy looking at the Tadbulbs outside, so there is no issue with you getting in. The corridors look very eerie to you with the lights out. But you don’t feel like giving up. You realize that the yellow glow disappeared somewhere… wait, is that a hidden door? It looks like a wall, but it moves aside when pushed...
You cautiously tread inside… There are no windows in this room, so it is quite dark. You use your Rotom phone as a flashlight in order to see better…
What the light reveals to you is a large, mostly empty space with (now inactive) LED lighting strips on the walls and floors. In the middle of the room stands a big chair that looks sort of like a throne. There seem to be some electronic devices attached to it. On two sides of the room there are also some big ominous weird cubes, supposedly boxes of some sort.
You walk up to the throne. You notice that there is a book lying on it. You pick it up.
It is a photo album filled mostly with pictures of one person: A tall, fit, tan man with white hair. Some of the photos have pink hearts drawn on them.
Wait a second, isn’t that Friede? From the Rising Volt Tacklers? The group that the Explorers are accusing of environmental destruction and other villainous deeds?
You are snapped out of your confusion by a munching sound behind you.
”Omnomnomnom.”
You turn around. In the corner, you can see the true source of the yellow glow that you have been chasing after. It is Spinel’s Umbreon. It is feasting on a modest pile of nanab berries. Apparently it dragged a really big bag of those in here, possibly straight from the Berry Monday storage room.
It must be pretty dang strong to be able to run so quickly with that bag in its mouth. Maybe it trained it a lot… Now the dots connect in your head. This is the reason the Umbreon had that guilty expression on that Monday… why the Berry Monday fruits always disappeared so quickly… why the Umbreon became so fluffy…
…it turns out that Umbreon’s secrets were for you to uncover after all.
Umbreon notices you noticing it. Its fur stands up. It makes a growling sound, then grabs the now half empty, torn bag in its mouth and slowly backs off towards the exit, creating a trail of fruit behind it. “It’s fine, you can have those” you say softly, trying not to spook it out even further. You assume it was just nervous from today’s ruckus and ran with the berries here to have some peace and quiet. Maybe you can calm it down a little?
You blink slowly at the Umbreon, take a step towards it and say: “You don’t have to run away, I won’t tell anyone about your secret!”
”Oh, I’ll make sure you won’t.” You hear a cold, familiar voice… you look up. It’s Spinel, standing in the doorway.
You realize… you’re still holding the photo album in your hand. Ooops. He looks at it. You look at him looking at it. He looks at you looking at him looking.
He steps forward quickly while taking out a Pokéball. Beheeyem comes out of it.
“Beheeyem, erase the–” Spinel does not finish the sentence.
Thud!
He slips on a nanab berry peel and falls on the floor with a surprised yell.
You don’t wait for him to get up. You drop the photo album and run past him, while making sure to avoid the nanab berry traps Umbreon has set. You don’t look back.
You don’t even bother picking up your stuff from the office, there was nothing noteworthy there.
You leave the Exceed building as quickly as you can. The Tadbulbs are still here, protesting, together with some humans who decided to join them. You go into the crowd and start chanting together with them.
“Tadbulb! Tadbulb!”
After a couple of hours, some sort of understanding is reached, despite Coral’s threats to blow up everything. Recently, the Tadbulbs were receiving less berries than what they needed, so from now on they will be given enough to make sure all of them are full. They will also get more paid days off. A big festival celebrating their contributions was announced to thank them for their hard work powering the city.
You go home, and when the power comes back, you send an email with your two-weeks-notice. You also “cash in” all of your accumulated PTO.
Epilogue:
You Fly to Alola, and start a modest churro stand, which becomes fairly popular. Your success is big enough to let you turn it into an actual fully fledged business. Churros are quite an exotic dish here after all, and the coffee you serve with them is to die for.
In your free time, you decide to read the Sandwich book the guys at Exceed mentioned during the Tadbulb strike. It really was not a cookbook after all. Even though it was more than a little dated, and you did not agree with everything written there, it still had some good ideas. After poring over the book, you decide to transform the churro business into a cooperative owned collectively by your employees and their Pokémon alike. You start giving free sandwiches and churros to those in need, no questions asked, and in return, the local community brings you ingredients for those.
Everyone is happy.
Except Spinel, probably.
The end
Footnotes:
* “nie interesuj się bo kociej mordy dostaniesz”- from Polish. Literal translation is “don’t get too interested in this or you’ll get a cats’ face”. Actual meaning: “don’t stick your nose where it doesn’t belong”
** this is funny because a lot of Poles emigrate to Western Europe for work. So it would make sense for our slang to enter local Paldean vocabulary. Poland does not have a corresponding region in the Pokéworld, so it is just a “faraway place”.
I never intended to write anything tbh, I just sort of did. My brain (hopefully temporarily) refused to deal with processing visual information properly so I can’t draw for now. So this came out instead. This fic started as a shitpost on Mastodon half a year ago.
Preferred comment type: I am not really interested in receiving heavy, deep or elaborate critique because I am not particularly interested in improving my writing. If you want to roast my work, go to my fanart threads and have at it. If you notice some egregious errors or grammar mistakes, unneeded commas, stuff like that, go ahead and tell me. English is, chronologically speaking, my 3rd language, I probably didn’t catch all of those. I am also fine with you rating this fic’s cringe level with an imaginary number. I am looking forward to your creativity.
Edit: you know what, I changed my mind. I might write more stuff in the future so if you want to do a full review, go for it
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