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- Feb 15, 2021
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- #1
It first started, like many things, with puberty.
It first started, like many things, with puberty.
He’d heard rumors about the baseball team’s induction rituals, secret rituals that the faculty weren’t to ever find out about. It seemed confusing, but as he tried out for the team and got to know the other kids, they reassured him that it was a normal thing on Earth, a sign of character and maturity. It was more than reassurance—all Shō wanted was to be a normal thing on Earth. So when they invited him to the team captain’s house over the weekend, he jumped on the opportunity…
…And found himself thrust in front of a six pack of beer.
“Come on, space boy!”
“You Martians can drink rocket fuel! How different is that from alcohol?”
“This is how boys become men. Do you wanna stay in kindergarten, or join the rest of us?”
“Chug it!”
Even if Shō wanted to drink, the shouting and chanting around him kept him paralyzed, his mind unable to process “yes” or “no” or how to convey either. His logical side went into overdrive: no one in the room was old enough to drink, drinking this much alcohol was surely unsafe, could Martians even drink alcohol, how was drinking as an athlete a good idea did this count as doping did all adult Earthlings drink—
“What the fuck.”
The whole baseball team was staring at Shō, like he had a different face or something.
“Uh, Shō, you might wanna take a look at your reflection.”
He pushed through the crowd of people so he could get into the bathroom and stare at his reflection in the mirror. But he didn’t see his reflection, but instead a… red ball, with big eyes and a big nose and it was nothing like Shō’s face.
The silver lining was that it was temporary, and it meant the other boys didn’t make him drink the beer, out of fear that they were all high. But Shō hadn’t had anything to eat or drink, and he still saw it. Maybe it was beer fumes—were beer fumes even a thing? Maybe they were, and maybe this had all been a hallucination.
Right?
Wrong.
-
There was a pretty girl in Shō’s class named Vega. Pretty and smart. He admired how she always paid attention in class, when most students were passing notes or whispering or carving “that private part” into their desks.
Well, there was one time where she passed a note in class.
Dear Shō,
Will you be my Valentine?
Valentine’s Day, a day where Earthlings professed or reaffirmed their love. That meant… Vega loved Shō? But what did that mean? When Earthlings talked about Valentine’s Day love, they were usually talking about something called “romantic” love. Usually, that involved kissing and holding hands. But why couldn’t you do those things with your friends? Why was there a whole day around wanting to hug and kiss someone? Why did there have to be elaborate rituals around something so small?
It was very confusing, but Shō liked the idea of doing those things with Vega…. a lot. It made his body feel hot and fidgety in a way that felt uncomfortable and enjoyable at the same time. So, he tore out a page of his notebook and wrote her a reply:
Dear Vega,
I would like to kiss you and hold hands with you.
He held out the note to her, and she looked up and…
“AH!”
The whole class turned to stare at Vega and Shō, gasping and whispering and laughing. The teacher looked up from the blackboard when he heard the commotion.
“Vega, what is the meaning of—” His anger morphed into shock as he stared at Shō. Had he done something wrong? This feeling of everyone staring at him certainly felt wrong.
And his sense of hearing being above his head rather than on the sides also felt wrong.
“Shō…” The teacher seemed hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure if it even was Shō. “You look… different. Like, like a rabbit different. Is that a Martian thing?”
Shō felt his face up and down; he couldn’t see it, but it certainly felt different, bigger, fluffier, taller face and taller ears.
That, too, was temporary, and it didn’t get in the way of being Vega’s Valentine. As little as he understood his feelings or Earthlings expectations on feelings, it was still nice to kiss and hold hands with Vega. He wanted to do this with his best friend, Red. He wanted to do it with lots of people.
But the problem, the face problem, persisted.
Whenever Shō’s emotions got too intense, be it fear or excitement or whatever, his face would turn into the bunny or red ball. It was startling to the people around him, even once they got used to it as a thing that just happened.
Was it a Martian thing? Based on the question, it certainly wasn’t an Earthling thing.
-
“Well, your body is going to be going through a lot of changes,” AnAn said, “Martian or Earthling. You might be hungrier than usual, you might have urges to be closer to your peers, or bite them. You should always ask others before you bite them! Especially if you leave a mark—you’ll feel very close to people you leave a mark on. I’m sure you’ll talk about it in school, but if you want to talk about anything with me, I’m always there.”
[“Is it normal for my face to change shape?”]
“What do you mean?”
[“Sometimes it’s a rabbit, or a red sphere. When I get nervous or excited.”]
AnAn stared blankly at Shō. The silence was deafening.
“Oh… I’m not really sure. I can look into that.”
But that was enough of an answer for Shō. And enough of a deterrent for him to never want to ask AnAn questions about puberty again. He didn’t want AnAn to worry about him being nervous, or him being… He couldn’t quite put a word to it.
-
Come the next semester, a new class was assigned: health class, where the “boys” and the “girls” were separated to learn all sorts of things that made the boys snicker for some reason. Shō didn’t get it, not even when the class started and they talked about sex, and why you had to wait until marriage to do it with the one you loved, and how the body was changing from a boy to a man, and—
Shō raised his hand as he typed out a question on his AAC device. He had more than that, but teachers usually didn’t like when he asked too many questions in a row.
<“What about the urge to bite? Do you wait until marriage for that?”>
The teacher took a moment to answer: “The… urge to bite?”
Shō typed again, all the while some of the boys started whispering and giggling to each other.
<“My AnAn says that puberty causes you to get the urge to bite your partners. Should I wait until marriage to bite my partners? Martians don’t have marriage.”>
“Well…” The teacher sighed. “You shouldn’t bite your partner. And you should wait until marriage.”
Shō raised his hand again, and the teacher’s shoulders slumped.
“Yes?”
<“Can I marry my best friend?”>
“No. You can marry the one you love.”
That didn’t make any sense—Shō loved a lot of people, including Red! But before he could type again, the teacher said, “That’s enough questions for now. We can wait for after class.”
Shō didn’t wait behind after class, not with all the boys who kept asking him “what freaky shit are you into” and “are you gay”, not with the sheer amount of questions he had, not with how many more questions the answers gave him, not with how… how dirty he felt.
He wasn’t normal for an Earthling. He wasn’t normal for a Martian. No matter what planet, he wasn’t normal, his thoughts and desires and brain and body and nothing was normal. His existence was an anomaly, with no standards to turn to for guidance. Everything about him was wrong.
He locked himself up in the single-stall bathroom to stare at his reflection in the mirror. But even though it was his normal face, no rabbits or red balls or whatever, he couldn’t recognize the face that stared back at him.
There’s no killing in this one, contrary to what the title might suggest. It’s more metaphorical, about drastic changes in oneself, about feeling wrong or violent, about anxiety and socialization, about isolation.
Please don’t ask how I went from funny bunny man to whatever this is. It’s open to interpretation, at least.
Please don’t ask how I went from funny bunny man to whatever this is. It’s open to interpretation, at least.
Hazing/attempted forced underage drinking
References to drug use
Brief slut-shaming/kink-shaming
Brief homophobia
Bullying
Cis/het/mono/amanormativity
Brief alien racism
Anxiety/internalized shame (can be taken literally or as a metaphor for a number of things)
Teen angst
References to drug use
Brief slut-shaming/kink-shaming
Brief homophobia
Bullying
Cis/het/mono/amanormativity
Brief alien racism
Anxiety/internalized shame (can be taken literally or as a metaphor for a number of things)
Teen angst
Characters
Shō - Air Batter, Spaceball
AnAn/Space Umpire - Space Umpire, Spaceball
Vega - Shoot-'Em-Up Radio Lady (DS), Shoot-'Em-Up
Mentioned or Offscreen Characters:
Red - Red Rap Man, Rap Men
Shō - Air Batter, Spaceball
AnAn/Space Umpire - Space Umpire, Spaceball
Vega - Shoot-'Em-Up Radio Lady (DS), Shoot-'Em-Up
Mentioned or Offscreen Characters:
Red - Red Rap Man, Rap Men
Can I have like a reality check. Is something wrong with me. Do I need to touch grass before I think about Martian taboos for any longer than I already have.
(Anything goes)
(Anything goes)
It first started, like many things, with puberty.
He’d heard rumors about the baseball team’s induction rituals, secret rituals that the faculty weren’t to ever find out about. It seemed confusing, but as he tried out for the team and got to know the other kids, they reassured him that it was a normal thing on Earth, a sign of character and maturity. It was more than reassurance—all Shō wanted was to be a normal thing on Earth. So when they invited him to the team captain’s house over the weekend, he jumped on the opportunity…
…And found himself thrust in front of a six pack of beer.
“Come on, space boy!”
“You Martians can drink rocket fuel! How different is that from alcohol?”
“This is how boys become men. Do you wanna stay in kindergarten, or join the rest of us?”
“Chug it!”
Even if Shō wanted to drink, the shouting and chanting around him kept him paralyzed, his mind unable to process “yes” or “no” or how to convey either. His logical side went into overdrive: no one in the room was old enough to drink, drinking this much alcohol was surely unsafe, could Martians even drink alcohol, how was drinking as an athlete a good idea did this count as doping did all adult Earthlings drink—
“What the fuck.”
The whole baseball team was staring at Shō, like he had a different face or something.
“Uh, Shō, you might wanna take a look at your reflection.”
He pushed through the crowd of people so he could get into the bathroom and stare at his reflection in the mirror. But he didn’t see his reflection, but instead a… red ball, with big eyes and a big nose and it was nothing like Shō’s face.
The silver lining was that it was temporary, and it meant the other boys didn’t make him drink the beer, out of fear that they were all high. But Shō hadn’t had anything to eat or drink, and he still saw it. Maybe it was beer fumes—were beer fumes even a thing? Maybe they were, and maybe this had all been a hallucination.
Right?
Wrong.
-
There was a pretty girl in Shō’s class named Vega. Pretty and smart. He admired how she always paid attention in class, when most students were passing notes or whispering or carving “that private part” into their desks.
Well, there was one time where she passed a note in class.
Dear Shō,
Will you be my Valentine?
Valentine’s Day, a day where Earthlings professed or reaffirmed their love. That meant… Vega loved Shō? But what did that mean? When Earthlings talked about Valentine’s Day love, they were usually talking about something called “romantic” love. Usually, that involved kissing and holding hands. But why couldn’t you do those things with your friends? Why was there a whole day around wanting to hug and kiss someone? Why did there have to be elaborate rituals around something so small?
It was very confusing, but Shō liked the idea of doing those things with Vega…. a lot. It made his body feel hot and fidgety in a way that felt uncomfortable and enjoyable at the same time. So, he tore out a page of his notebook and wrote her a reply:
Dear Vega,
I would like to kiss you and hold hands with you.
He held out the note to her, and she looked up and…
“AH!”
The whole class turned to stare at Vega and Shō, gasping and whispering and laughing. The teacher looked up from the blackboard when he heard the commotion.
“Vega, what is the meaning of—” His anger morphed into shock as he stared at Shō. Had he done something wrong? This feeling of everyone staring at him certainly felt wrong.
And his sense of hearing being above his head rather than on the sides also felt wrong.
“Shō…” The teacher seemed hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure if it even was Shō. “You look… different. Like, like a rabbit different. Is that a Martian thing?”
Shō felt his face up and down; he couldn’t see it, but it certainly felt different, bigger, fluffier, taller face and taller ears.
That, too, was temporary, and it didn’t get in the way of being Vega’s Valentine. As little as he understood his feelings or Earthlings expectations on feelings, it was still nice to kiss and hold hands with Vega. He wanted to do this with his best friend, Red. He wanted to do it with lots of people.
But the problem, the face problem, persisted.
Whenever Shō’s emotions got too intense, be it fear or excitement or whatever, his face would turn into the bunny or red ball. It was startling to the people around him, even once they got used to it as a thing that just happened.
Was it a Martian thing? Based on the question, it certainly wasn’t an Earthling thing.
-
“Well, your body is going to be going through a lot of changes,” AnAn said, “Martian or Earthling. You might be hungrier than usual, you might have urges to be closer to your peers, or bite them. You should always ask others before you bite them! Especially if you leave a mark—you’ll feel very close to people you leave a mark on. I’m sure you’ll talk about it in school, but if you want to talk about anything with me, I’m always there.”
[“Is it normal for my face to change shape?”]
“What do you mean?”
[“Sometimes it’s a rabbit, or a red sphere. When I get nervous or excited.”]
AnAn stared blankly at Shō. The silence was deafening.
“Oh… I’m not really sure. I can look into that.”
But that was enough of an answer for Shō. And enough of a deterrent for him to never want to ask AnAn questions about puberty again. He didn’t want AnAn to worry about him being nervous, or him being… He couldn’t quite put a word to it.
-
Come the next semester, a new class was assigned: health class, where the “boys” and the “girls” were separated to learn all sorts of things that made the boys snicker for some reason. Shō didn’t get it, not even when the class started and they talked about sex, and why you had to wait until marriage to do it with the one you loved, and how the body was changing from a boy to a man, and—
Shō raised his hand as he typed out a question on his AAC device. He had more than that, but teachers usually didn’t like when he asked too many questions in a row.
<“What about the urge to bite? Do you wait until marriage for that?”>
The teacher took a moment to answer: “The… urge to bite?”
Shō typed again, all the while some of the boys started whispering and giggling to each other.
<“My AnAn says that puberty causes you to get the urge to bite your partners. Should I wait until marriage to bite my partners? Martians don’t have marriage.”>
“Well…” The teacher sighed. “You shouldn’t bite your partner. And you should wait until marriage.”
Shō raised his hand again, and the teacher’s shoulders slumped.
“Yes?”
<“Can I marry my best friend?”>
“No. You can marry the one you love.”
That didn’t make any sense—Shō loved a lot of people, including Red! But before he could type again, the teacher said, “That’s enough questions for now. We can wait for after class.”
Shō didn’t wait behind after class, not with all the boys who kept asking him “what freaky shit are you into” and “are you gay”, not with the sheer amount of questions he had, not with how many more questions the answers gave him, not with how… how dirty he felt.
He wasn’t normal for an Earthling. He wasn’t normal for a Martian. No matter what planet, he wasn’t normal, his thoughts and desires and brain and body and nothing was normal. His existence was an anomaly, with no standards to turn to for guidance. Everything about him was wrong.
He locked himself up in the single-stall bathroom to stare at his reflection in the mirror. But even though it was his normal face, no rabbits or red balls or whatever, he couldn’t recognize the face that stared back at him.