Starting a Pokemon story series, but need some advice

[CynthiaLover]

Hi, I'm kinda new to this section of the threads, but as a fellow writer, I had to try.

Okay, I tend to write chapter-like sections for an overall series (or "season" as I call them). They can be somewhat episodic, but they all eventually pile together to create a story arc, kinda like the Pokemon Anime as a whole. I've written other types of stories before, such as Zoids, MegaMan, and Yu-Gi-Oh!, along with completely original stories, such as my most current one, Nova Quest, so I'm a fairly good writer. My style and skills have improved over the years, so that's not an issue (anymore), but I still have some problems fleshing out each chapter-like story so it looks more professional.

Anyway, this is my idea so far. Sadly, I don't have a really good title to the series, so we'll just call it "Master Quest" until I can pick my brain for a better title (though feedback and ideas are welcome, as I get writer's block very easily).

Anyway, the story revolves around a young adult from the Sinnoh region named Geo. He is just starting out as a trainer, despite being over a decade late. This was due to a rare, serious heart condition that took many years to battle against. He won, but it left him physically weakened. However, his mind is sharp and quick, and has the ability to understand what Pokemon say (like Anabel from the anime). However, despite having won against the illness, he is left in a semi-vulnerable status, namely, he cannot get excited, or at least keep his heart rate down to a calm level. If he overexerts himself, it could leave him in great pain, so he's forced to be calm and level-headed at all times. Basically, he has to keep his emotions in check, or it runs the risk of getting his heart rate to accelerate. Despite that, he's friendly and caring, and treats Pokemon like they were his siblings.

Continuing on, Geo originally lived in Celestic Town, along with his best friend. The two of them are the same age, with Geo being the older one. He promised her they'd become Trainers together due to their great bond of trust and friendship. Shortly before his 10th birthday, he was struck down with an attack, and rushed to the hospital, thereby breaking his promise to his dear friend (unavoidable and out of his power, but the guilt still weighs on him despite that). She went on to be successful, while he fought long and hard against the rare illness, finally wining over a decade later. He currently resides in Twinleaf Town, as the terrain was easier on him during recovery. He goes to get a Starter Pokemon from Prof. Rowan, only to find they're all gone. However, his father, who works for Prof. Rowan suggests a different Pokemon. Noting that Geo had waited a long time for this, Rowan allowed it, and Geo was given a female Ralts that they were currently using for studying. The Ralts was less than pleased to be a test subject, but at the thought of leaving with Geo, she instantly became attached to him, and quickly agreed to be his partner. He named her Lora, but like Pikachu from the anime, she hates being inside her Poke Ball (Geo finds out later she's claustrophobic), so she's a "walking Pokemon". They become a powerful pair. With Pokedex in hand, Geo starts his journey.

Along the way, he makes many rivals (most notably Jake, the "Paul" character of the stories), new friends (Danny and Jo(hanna) the twin breeders who become traveling partners), and new enemies (Team Galactic, notably Vivi, Victor, and Weavile, the "Jessie, James, and Meowth" characters), and is reunited with his old friend. He and his friends get wrapped up in Team Galactic's (Cyrus') attempt to rewrite the universe, which includes the Lake Trio, Dialga, Palkia, and, by accident, Giratina. After all is said and done, he challenges the league, and if he wins, he will continue to explore the Pokemon world in search for new adventure and new Pokemon.

What do you think? It's kinda a Platinum-ish story, but I'm going to include various anime-related things, but I'm still working on it. Feedback? Comments? Advice?

 

[Lugion]

Thanks to the characters, it sounds interesting enough.

 

[CynthiaLover]

Thanks. It still needs fleshing out, obviously, and I'm still getting all the details put into place, but it's a start. I've never really written a Pokemon story before, so I'm not entirely sure how to go by certain elements (i.e. battle lengths, intense character interactions, etc...), since I'm more accustomed to other types of story writing (while still in the fantasy genre, I'm better suited for other types of fantasy, like sci-fi and, you could say, RPG type). So this is a first. Anyone else have any suggestions or ideas, as my writer's block is giving me a headache.

Oh, also, since Vivi, Victor, and Weavile are this story series Jessie, James, and Meowth, I would also like a suggestion on a motto, since it'll add to their comic relief status. One that can be customized for various situations (just like TRio's mottoes). Despite being part of the main villains, they are just as incompetent and dense as their inspirations (which is ironic, since their names are a pun on "victory"). Any suggestions would be nice, as I've never done something like that before, but would like to try it (they are for laughs, after all). Thanks in advance.

 

[The Patrician]

If you're going for a motto for them, you can just make some poem-esque introduction like Team Rocket in the anime had ("What a foolish question indeed, the answer to come as we feel the need") and say that they came up with the idea from a TV show or it came to them in a dream. As for the exact motto, that would be up to you but plagiarism is a surefire way to create a good motto and comedy at the same time.

 

[GliscorMan]

This seems interesting. I'd read it simply for the characters, which seem to be well thought-out. For writing it, I'd say try going at it like you're planning a Pokemon game. Except less boring, one-sided battles. As long as someone in the story points out how ridiculously close most of the battles end, you can have nearly every battle down to a 1v1 towards the end, if that's what you wanted.

Yeah, I'm gonna agree with Pat about that. If you take bits and pieces (recognizable ones, at that) from other poems or villainous teams' mottos, then you'll have a parody poem right there for your use.

As for other suggestions, I'd make the Weavile a Sneasel. Sneasel's a little less intimidating, and would be better for comic relief. On the other hand, you could just give Weavile a thick Russian accent, so that it says something like "Veawile" instead of it's name. That would fit in with the alliteration of the Team Galactic trainers, and bring a little more comedy into the mix.

 

[CynthiaLover]

@The Patrician; I was thinking along those lines. I've been reading up on TRio's mottoes a fair amount to get some ideas, especially for the humor part. But yeah, that's a good idea. I don't wanna outright copy them, but since TR are the inspiration to these three, I wanted to be somewhat close to the source.

@GliscorMan; Thanks for the kind words. I'm still getting the main characters personalities completely ironed out (i.e. Danny is fairly Brock-like, being flirtatious, but is very knowledgeable, while Jo (real name Johanna) is a tomboy who is also a bit dense and hotheaded, but well meaning and perky), but I do say I'm off to a good start. As for Weavile vs. Sneasel, I was debating that, but I felt Weavile would be a better choice. On one side, it would prove that, despite being fully evolved, he wasn't very strong, thus could be beaten more easily, while on the other side, he would give off an "impressive" first impression, making him seem more like a threat when in fact he isn't. Also, Weaviles are smarter and more cunning than Sneasels, and I wanted Weavile to be, more or less, the brains of the trio, but still just as incompetent. Basically, he would embody the "appearances can be deceiving" vibe, being less than what he really seems to be. I was debating on using a Sneasel from the start, however, but a Weavile felt more like there could be a stronger sense of irony, which this trio embodies a lot. But it is a good idea, regardless.

 

[The Patrician]

No problem, nice to be of assistance. I second your opinion on the Weavile vs. Sneasel topic.

 

[GliscorMan]

That's a neat twist, I never thought of the irony behind using Weavile over Sneasel. Good luck in making this work out!

 

[CynthiaLover]

Thanks for the kind words. I think I'm getting a motto down for the Galactic goofballs (that's what most of the characters will call Vivi, Victor, and Weavile), though it needs fine tuning. I also have the first chapter almost completely written, but I needed a break. Also, I need an opinion on two subjects.

1) Geo is participating in the Pokemon League, so his main goal is Gym Badges. However, he has a creative mind, so Contests on the side seem tempting. What do you think? Straight Gym Battles? Or both Gyms and Contests?

2) Number of moves that one Pokemon can know at one time has always been a kicker for me. In the early anime, it didn't matter, so one Pokemon could use five or even more moves in one episode, while more recently, the anime has followed the games, limiting moves to four each. I'm not fond of that idea, never have been. I was thinking of increasing the level of moves slightly, to about five or six, depending on the Pokemon (i.e. Lora, Geo's Gardevoir, since she's his main fighter and secondary protagonist, she would get a six move slot, while Hawk, Geo's Staraptor, has an already limited move pool, so about five for him at most. What do you think? Be strict and limit to four moves, or be flexible and increase the "limit" by ~2 moves, give or take? I'm leaning more toward the more flexible move limit, since it makes creating certain events and combinations more fluid. Not to mention the ability to learn a new move without much sacrifice is always a welcoming feeling. What do you think?

Thanks in advance to any who offer advice or ideas.

 

[Alaskapigeon]

It seems like a really interesting story and I always get excited when I hear about new writers. Be careful not to get too formulaic though when using the 'chapter' format. I have a problem writing journey fics for that very reason. As for the title... May I suggest a pun using 'heart' somehow? 'Journey of the Heart', 'Training from the Heart, 'A Heart Day's Night'... Maybe not that last one, but something like that Hopefully not too cheesy xb

 

[CynthiaLover]

@Alaskapigeon; Hmm... those titles you mentioned seem like good ideas. I never thought to use the word "heart" in this, yet it makes sense with Geo. Thanks for the idea, I'll keep that in mind.

Anyway, the first chapter is finished, though like most of my first chapters, it's fairly introductory. I forgot to mention, event though the story series will be mostly "teen" rated (mostly for language and violence, more of the former than the latter though), there will be, much later, a "mature" part, so that will probably alter the maturity level. But that's water under the bridge, but I thought I should put that out ahead of time.

Anyway, thanks a lot for the help, guys. The series is off the ground thanks to your ideas and encouragement. Now I just gotta keep it off the ground (easier said than done, oi).

 

[Cosmos]

I think this sounds like a really interesting idea.

I like that you gave Geo a struggle that he had to over come before he could become a Pokemon trainer.
That's a pretty interesting idea.
(The only thing I don't really like is how journey's start at 10, I know it's that way in the anime but can you imagine letting your 10 year old travel the world by the selves, having to take care of themselves, making good decisions by themselves, taking care of other creatures let alone themselves and look for possibly dangerous creatures. But that's just my opinion)

I like that idea of Vivi, Victor and Weavile. I think that could be really funny.
Like seeing that they're team Galactic you could make their motto space related and along with the parody of the other mottos you could use something like
"To extend our reach from the stars above, to dominate from Pluto to Mars"
Just an idea.

His travelling partners seems to be good, a little close Misty and Brock but I'm sure it's just because of the similarities.
While I'm on that subject, try not to make it to make the characters/story to similar to the anime simply because then it's kinda like a story we've already heard.
And you're idea's are really good and I'd much rather read the story you're envisioning rather then reading the anime.

I also really like that you're giving Geo a Ralts which is a pretty rare Pokemon and it's not native to Sinnoh which is also nice.
And since Geo is also a little older he should be a little more mature which I like.
I'm also looking forward who you're going to Portray Geo having to stay calm...
You could use Ralts kind of like caretaker seeing that they can sense feelings and all.

I'm really looking forward to reading your work.

 

[CynthiaLover]

@Cosmos; Thanks for the feedback. It really is very appreciated.

I'm loosely using the anime as a guide, though I'm also using the games (notably Platinum) as a guide as well. As for Jo and Danny being Misty and Brock, it not exactly that. Misty is a lot smarter than Jo, even though Jo will be 16 when Geo first meets her, and unlike Misty, she's not prone to violent mood swings. While a hothead, she's not really like Misty (I was never really fond of Misty to start with). Jo's hotheadedness is more akin to Dawn than Misty (as seen, Dawn can have a pretty bad temper when provoked), since she's just starting out as well, but Danny has more brains then she does, so due to her lack of forsight, she's quick to anger, but generally she's a bit more placid than Misty. But Danny is fairly close to Brock, but is a much better battler, as well as having better judgement and is a quicker thinker. He's less likely to hit on every pretty girl he sees, and is a bit more modest than Brock when flirting, but his character is fairly Brock-like.

Hmm... I was thinking about using some space related statements in the mottoes, but I wasn't totally sure how to go by it. I also am going to make them "Blast off" every time they cross paths with Geo, usually saying "Team Galactic is blasting into orbit (again)!", again to emphasize on their comedic status. But you gave me a good idea on what would be an idea for the mottoes. Thanks!

Also, just to let you know, by the time Geo starts, he's nearly 25, so yeah, he'll be pretty mature, which will also play into a later theme when he's reunited with his childhood friend (as well as secret love). Hence why I said, even though it'll be generally rate "teen", there will be at least one mature scene later on. But thanks for the feedback.

 

[CynthiaLover]

I forgot to mention another problem. I don't know what Pokemon to give to Vivi and Victor. I want to give them just one each off the bat, showing their low status, but I wasn't sure which ones to choose. For Vivi, I was debating Yanma, Burmy, or Cherubi as her "starter", while for Victor I was thinking of Zubat, Carnivine, or Chingling as his, but I'm not sure. I plan to make them catch one more, but this is to start off. Any ideas or suggestions?

 

[Cosmos]

I forgot to mention another problem. I don't know what Pokemon to give to Vivi and Victor. I want to give them just one each off the bat, showing their low status, but I wasn't sure which ones to choose. For Vivi, I was debating Yanma, Burmy, or Cherubi as her "starter", while for Victor I was thinking of Zubat, Carnivine, or Chingling as his, but I'm not sure. I plan to make them catch one more, but this is to start off. Any ideas or suggestions?

Vivi = Cherubi
Victor = Male Burmy

 

[CynthiaLover]

Gah! I forgot one other thing, as well. Jake's Pokemon. Since he's very Paul-like (although more physically abusive than Paul), I want him to seek out only the most powerful Pokemon in the region. I'm trying to decided on what Pokemon he would be best with. I've already got half of his team down, but I'm still stuck on some. I'm also making him a veteran Trainer, so Pokemon from other Regions are allowed. So far, I've got Torterra (starter), Chimchar (later released), Mamoswine, and Honchkrow. I need a few recommendations though. I was thinking of Electivire, Scizor, Drapion, Houndoom, Gyarados, and Rhyperior as either main team or reserves, but I'm still thinking. Any other ideas? Again, outside regional Pokemon are allowed, but I'm not sure what Pokemon would be "brutal" and "powerful" enough for him.

EDIT: Sorry to keep asking, but I've never been good as assembling a Pokemon team outside of the games (sometimes even in the games), especially for such a callous character. Not to mention this is my first Pokemon story, so I'm still learning some of the rules and styles of it. Thanks again.

 

[NoirGrimoir]

How about a Sharpedo? I don't know what's more brutal and powerful looking than a shark. On that note, Garchomp is also a good candidate. Garchomp is straight-up scary. Also perhaps Cacturne, Aggron, Krookodile or Zangoose?

I have to say that I like the idea of this story. I see so many "we have to save the world!/take down team X!/Form a rebellion!/Survive in a dystopian world!" stories in the pokemon fandom, but what I really like is just the kid going through his pokemon journey, like the original anime and games. My only thought is to try not to make it too hardcore/violent/dramatic. People seem to think it adds levity and interest to their story, and to a point is does, but I tend to find such stories to be so depressing that I honestly stop caring about what happens and stop reading altogether. It definitely doesn't make a story unique, either.

Also it might be better to have your main character and his first pokemon have to struggle with something for a bit instead of becoming instant friends. Makes things more realistic/interesting, and it is also more like the anime, since that's what you seem to be going for. Perhaps the ralts has trouble trusting people since it was a test subject, so it takes the first episode/chapter for the ralts to trust the trainer and from then on they are besties? Its a thought. In slice-of-life type stories its really the character interaction that becomes the focal point, rather than coming up with more bad things to happen to your character.

 

[CynthiaLover]

Sharpedo, Aggron, and Cacturne are all good ideas. I had thought of Aggron, but thought I was going too far down Paul's choices. I can't give him Garchomp, though. While it is outright scary (yet so cool), I already had a Garchomp planned for Geo (plus I don't like the idea of a such a cool Mon in the hands of such a person, since Jake can be very cruel). While giving Jake a pseudo-legendary is a good idea, I would probably go more for a Tyrannitar, due to its more aggressive nature (plus I can envision him more with Tyrannitar, since they'd fit better, IMO). But your ideas are top-notch, especially since I'm still ironing out some details.

As for violence and such, it's not gonna be that brutal. Again, the story will probably be more or less rated Teen. The only real "mature" scene will be much, much later (sex, basically), and it'll barely be a chapter long, but it will be labeled appropriately. As for Jake, even though he's cruel, and many of his Pokemon will reflect this, he's not outright evil. Kinda more like a mcuh darker anti-hero. He's only really cruel to his Chimchar, and to other "weak" or "useless" Pokemon he catches (though out of all of them, Chimchar lasts the longest), though his Honchkrow and Scizor will get some lip as well. Basically, like Paul was Ash's polar opposite, Jake is Geo's polar opposite (although to a higher degree). Even Cynthia, who will appear regularly after a certain point, dubs him as "cruel", and she's hardly a judgmental person. But I appreciate your ideas and your opinions, as they do help in guiding me down the right path. So I will keep in mind your ideas and what you said about hardcore violence and stuff. I don't have much of a stomach for that, either. But thanks again for your help. Now I have an even better idea on how to pave this story out. ^_^

 

[CynthiaLover]

Okay, I finally got a motto for Team Galactic's Vivi, Victor, and Weavile. Tell me what you guys think of it. They haven't been introduced yet to the story, so it gives me a bit of time to tweak anything I need first. Here it is... at least as a first draft.

Vivi: From the depths of space we arrive.
Victor: Crushing all of you Earthlings so that we may thrive.
Weavile: Trust me, you can't survive!
Vivi: Soaring the cosmos day and night.
Victor: Banishing the goodness of justice and right.
Vivi: The shining beauty Vivi!
Victor: The radiant warrior Victor!
Weavile: Weavile is the clincher!
Vivi: Team Galactic rockets into the future with a blinding light!
Victor: If you don't believe us, then come face our might!
All: So time to surrender or be ready to fight!

EDIT: I updated the motto. Now it reads and flows better.

 

[NoirGrimoir]

Can the Weavile talk?

Also I think the lines "We will extend out power to the stars above/Conquering everything from Pluto to Mars," are unneeded. Team Rockets motto doesn't have the extra couplet, and those lines don't rhyme like the other lines do. Really good though! Way better than I could do.