SSJ3_Raditz
How do I used tense?
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2009
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This is my first attempt at a fanfic....criticism welcome. :-D
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There was once a boy named Jack.
He was a trainer, about 11 years old. He comes from the Kanto Region, or to be more precise, he comes from the island of Cinnabar. He was a very curious boy with a love for adventure.
One day, he took a trip to the Safari Zone at Fuchsia City to catch some pokemon.....
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!", Jack said as he was being chased by a Rhyhorn. He eventually made it back to the entrance of the Safari Zone. As he opened and closed the door to avoid the Rhyhorn, a man from a desk asked him "Leaving early?". "No, I just need to hide from a crazy Rhyhorn", Jack said in reply. "Ok, fine then", said the person on the desk.
After waiting for a few moments, he opened the door again and went back into the Safari Zone. He didn't get very far when the same Rhyhorn came charging at him again. Jack ran back to the entrance again. After waiting for a minute, he tried to go back into the Safari Zone, but then the Rhyhorn chased him again. He wasn't quick enough to react this time, and the Rhyhorn tackled Jack into a nearby wooden hut, knocking Jack out.
An hour later, Jack wakes up. "Ow, my head", he moaned. "I'm never going back here again!", he said. He got up and began to leave the Safari Zone.
As he entered the entrance, which also happens to be the exit, a person on a desk on his left said to him "Welcome to the Safari Zone! For just $500, you can catch all the pokemon you want in the park! Would you like to join the hunt?". "But I just ca...""Would you like to join the hunt?", the person said, interrupting Jack. "Uh..no.", Jack said. "OK! Please come again!", the person responded. As Jack exited the Safari Zone, he said to himself "That was weird".
Once he came out of the Zone, he took out a pokeball from his belt and threw it. "Come out, Char!", he exclaimed. As the pokeball opened, a large, dragon-like pokemon with red skin, blue wings, a white belly, and a burning tail. "Rrrrraaaarr!", the pokemon shouted. It was a Charizard, one of the starter Pokemon. Jack got it from Professor Oak, a famous scientist from the nearby Pallet Town as a Charmander for his starter pokemon. "Let's go home", Jack said to Char. Jack climbed up on Char's back, and Char began to fly. It wasn't long before they were high above the land. At the altitude he was in he could see all of Fuchsia. He could feel the wind pass by him. As they flew, they saw the many wonders of the region. They could see the sparkling blue water below them, brimming with life. Above them would be the clouds and the sky, where many bird pokemon would pass by. It wasn’t too long before they arrived back at Cinnabar Island, where Jack headed home.
As he arrived at his house, he saw that no one was inside. “Hmm, where did my parents go? It’s unusual for them to leave like this without a note”, he said. Bored, he went up to his room, grabbed some swimming attire and a surfboard, left the house and headed for the beach, leaving behind his pokemon. “Since no one’s home I might as well pass the time”, he said. Once he arrived at the beach, he jumped into the water and got on his surfboard. The waves would come occasionally, with Jack riding on them. As he surfs, he hears a mysterious ringing sound. Before he realizes it, he is pushed off his board and he loses consciousness.
“Ughhh, where am I?”, Jack says as he wakes up. Instead of being in Cinnabar, he finds himself in a surrealistic world, everything seems to be messed up, plagued with random numbers and characters that looked like it came from a computer, and unusual buildings. “What happened here?”, he asks. He tries to explore the area. Suddenly, he runs into an invisible wall. “What the..”, he says. Suddenly, the ground he is standing on becomes water, but mysteriously, he does not sink. “What the hell is going on?”, he says. A building then appears in front of him. It begins to flicker, and random numbers start to appear on the building. He takes a step backward, and the ground becomes blank, making Jack look like he is floating above a white hole. He moves to his right, with nothing happening. However, he steps on a patch of tall grass that suddenly appears in front of him. He starts to levitate above the ground, and he takes more steps. As he walks more, his vision becomes unusual. He starts to see random numbers and unusual buildings that look distorted. “Where am I!?”, he shouts, horrified at what is happening to him right now. He runs into an invisible wall again, he begins to move sidewards despite walking forward, the ground below him becomes concrete which has “GYM” written all over it. Water begins to appear on the ground again, and a half a house appears below him. “W-w-what i-is this p-p-place!?”, he says. Large but distorted building appear, flicker, and disappear all over the place. Jack is horrified at what is happening to him, he is trapped in an unknown world that is completely surreal. He runs into random walls, mysterious buildings, and many more.
As he explores the area, he spots a human figure. Glad to see another person with him, he asks “Sir, may I ask where we are right now?”. The figure doesn’t respond. Jack asks “Sir, where are we? Sir?”. The figure does not respond. Suddenly, the figure begins to become distorted, and random numbers appear on him. “SIR! SIR!”, he shouts to the figure as he becomes distorted. He tries to get closer, but suddenly he begins to move against his own will. His feet don’t move, he passes right through the figure, seeing that the front of his body is also distorted. “SIR! HELP!”, Jack shouts. The figure still doesn’t react. Jack is then lead to more random areas. Water appears both above and below him. The water seems to be perfectly flat and square. Suddenly, he falls down. In front of him, a blank sign appears. He is finally able to move on his own, but as he begins to walk, an invisible wall appears in front of him again. He turns the other way around and another wall blocks his way. He turns both left and right, there is also a wall. Jack realizes he is trapped inside an invisible box. Horrified, he screams “LET ME OUT!!!”. Suddenly, the wall disappears. He begins to move against his will again. “What the *** is going on!? Let me out of this place!!!”, he screams. As he is dragged, he finds more distorted areas. Everything becomes more bizarre the more Jack moves. Suddenly, everything disappears.
Jack opens his eyes. Daylight shines through his room’s windows. He gets up. He sees all his stuff. His alarm clock, his TV, his door, his basketball, his closet, his pokeballs, and Jack’s other belongings. “That was the weirdest dream I’ve ever had”, he says.
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Well, how was that? Was that good or not? Please don't be too harsh in reviewing it.
--------------------
There was once a boy named Jack.
He was a trainer, about 11 years old. He comes from the Kanto Region, or to be more precise, he comes from the island of Cinnabar. He was a very curious boy with a love for adventure.
One day, he took a trip to the Safari Zone at Fuchsia City to catch some pokemon.....
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!", Jack said as he was being chased by a Rhyhorn. He eventually made it back to the entrance of the Safari Zone. As he opened and closed the door to avoid the Rhyhorn, a man from a desk asked him "Leaving early?". "No, I just need to hide from a crazy Rhyhorn", Jack said in reply. "Ok, fine then", said the person on the desk.
After waiting for a few moments, he opened the door again and went back into the Safari Zone. He didn't get very far when the same Rhyhorn came charging at him again. Jack ran back to the entrance again. After waiting for a minute, he tried to go back into the Safari Zone, but then the Rhyhorn chased him again. He wasn't quick enough to react this time, and the Rhyhorn tackled Jack into a nearby wooden hut, knocking Jack out.
An hour later, Jack wakes up. "Ow, my head", he moaned. "I'm never going back here again!", he said. He got up and began to leave the Safari Zone.
As he entered the entrance, which also happens to be the exit, a person on a desk on his left said to him "Welcome to the Safari Zone! For just $500, you can catch all the pokemon you want in the park! Would you like to join the hunt?". "But I just ca...""Would you like to join the hunt?", the person said, interrupting Jack. "Uh..no.", Jack said. "OK! Please come again!", the person responded. As Jack exited the Safari Zone, he said to himself "That was weird".
Once he came out of the Zone, he took out a pokeball from his belt and threw it. "Come out, Char!", he exclaimed. As the pokeball opened, a large, dragon-like pokemon with red skin, blue wings, a white belly, and a burning tail. "Rrrrraaaarr!", the pokemon shouted. It was a Charizard, one of the starter Pokemon. Jack got it from Professor Oak, a famous scientist from the nearby Pallet Town as a Charmander for his starter pokemon. "Let's go home", Jack said to Char. Jack climbed up on Char's back, and Char began to fly. It wasn't long before they were high above the land. At the altitude he was in he could see all of Fuchsia. He could feel the wind pass by him. As they flew, they saw the many wonders of the region. They could see the sparkling blue water below them, brimming with life. Above them would be the clouds and the sky, where many bird pokemon would pass by. It wasn’t too long before they arrived back at Cinnabar Island, where Jack headed home.
As he arrived at his house, he saw that no one was inside. “Hmm, where did my parents go? It’s unusual for them to leave like this without a note”, he said. Bored, he went up to his room, grabbed some swimming attire and a surfboard, left the house and headed for the beach, leaving behind his pokemon. “Since no one’s home I might as well pass the time”, he said. Once he arrived at the beach, he jumped into the water and got on his surfboard. The waves would come occasionally, with Jack riding on them. As he surfs, he hears a mysterious ringing sound. Before he realizes it, he is pushed off his board and he loses consciousness.
“Ughhh, where am I?”, Jack says as he wakes up. Instead of being in Cinnabar, he finds himself in a surrealistic world, everything seems to be messed up, plagued with random numbers and characters that looked like it came from a computer, and unusual buildings. “What happened here?”, he asks. He tries to explore the area. Suddenly, he runs into an invisible wall. “What the..”, he says. Suddenly, the ground he is standing on becomes water, but mysteriously, he does not sink. “What the hell is going on?”, he says. A building then appears in front of him. It begins to flicker, and random numbers start to appear on the building. He takes a step backward, and the ground becomes blank, making Jack look like he is floating above a white hole. He moves to his right, with nothing happening. However, he steps on a patch of tall grass that suddenly appears in front of him. He starts to levitate above the ground, and he takes more steps. As he walks more, his vision becomes unusual. He starts to see random numbers and unusual buildings that look distorted. “Where am I!?”, he shouts, horrified at what is happening to him right now. He runs into an invisible wall again, he begins to move sidewards despite walking forward, the ground below him becomes concrete which has “GYM” written all over it. Water begins to appear on the ground again, and a half a house appears below him. “W-w-what i-is this p-p-place!?”, he says. Large but distorted building appear, flicker, and disappear all over the place. Jack is horrified at what is happening to him, he is trapped in an unknown world that is completely surreal. He runs into random walls, mysterious buildings, and many more.
As he explores the area, he spots a human figure. Glad to see another person with him, he asks “Sir, may I ask where we are right now?”. The figure doesn’t respond. Jack asks “Sir, where are we? Sir?”. The figure does not respond. Suddenly, the figure begins to become distorted, and random numbers appear on him. “SIR! SIR!”, he shouts to the figure as he becomes distorted. He tries to get closer, but suddenly he begins to move against his own will. His feet don’t move, he passes right through the figure, seeing that the front of his body is also distorted. “SIR! HELP!”, Jack shouts. The figure still doesn’t react. Jack is then lead to more random areas. Water appears both above and below him. The water seems to be perfectly flat and square. Suddenly, he falls down. In front of him, a blank sign appears. He is finally able to move on his own, but as he begins to walk, an invisible wall appears in front of him again. He turns the other way around and another wall blocks his way. He turns both left and right, there is also a wall. Jack realizes he is trapped inside an invisible box. Horrified, he screams “LET ME OUT!!!”. Suddenly, the wall disappears. He begins to move against his will again. “What the *** is going on!? Let me out of this place!!!”, he screams. As he is dragged, he finds more distorted areas. Everything becomes more bizarre the more Jack moves. Suddenly, everything disappears.
Jack opens his eyes. Daylight shines through his room’s windows. He gets up. He sees all his stuff. His alarm clock, his TV, his door, his basketball, his closet, his pokeballs, and Jack’s other belongings. “That was the weirdest dream I’ve ever had”, he says.
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Well, how was that? Was that good or not? Please don't be too harsh in reviewing it.