Taking Over a Trainer's Heart and Soul (The Rewrite) [PG-13]

[eevee91]

PG-13 for Violence, Slight Language, and Slight Romance

For those of you who remember, this is my first fanfic I posted back in March, BUT it's not the same. This rewrite has a much longer, and more detailed plot than before. It also has much more added to it. I'm rewriting this while finishing the last Aqua Marina story, so it will not go as fast as the first time I posted it. I'm sure this seems like almost a whole new story, and Vee has a new nature. So please read and review!


Taking Over a Trainers Heart and Soul - By eevee91



Prologue- Welcome to a Pokémon Trainer’s World! The Awesome shippy Improved Undated Fairytale Version!!!
Years ago an 11 year old girl, Aqua Marina, became a Pokémon trainer in the land of Kanto. With her partner, Squirtle, and many other Pokémon that came and went, she traveled a region every summer when she had off from school. Aqua wanted to be a Pokémon Master more than anything, but her parents believed education was more important. So as a result, Aqua only trained in the summer, while in the winter she studied. She was a fantastic trainer and had all the badges from every region she traveled. Aqua had even taken on the Elite 4 and won, only to be defeated by a new rival and friend, Pokémon Champion Red, who Aqua found very attractive. He was two years older than her, and was the cutest guy she had ever seen. He had hair as black as night, and brown eyes. Also, Red always wore jeans, a black T-shirt, and white sneakers. And ever since they met, Aqua had a crush on Red.

Today Aqua is 19 years old, and is a beauty with beautiful thick, long brown hair and brown eyes. Although a beauty, she is alone a lot since she ended her Pokémon journey last summer to study science. On her journey she had made many close friends, but being other trainers and gym leaders, they were all over the world now. As a result, Aqua tried her hardest in her school work, hoping to make the best of it.

One day while studying in her room, Aqua got a text message from Red. Aqua, dressed in a light blue tank top and denim shorts, picked up her vibrating phone and looked at the screen. “One new message from Red.” The screen read. Aqua jumped in excitement when she saw this. She quickly pushed open, unable to contain the excitement of getting a message from Red. But as soon as she saw the message, her face quickly dropped. It read:

“They’re back and plotting something. I need you to head to Celadon City by next month when your classes are over. Keep in touch.”

“It can’t be them. They failed all those years ago when we brought down their plan.” Aqua’s felt sick. This message brought back thoughts of a very terrifying time when she was a rookie trainer, eight years ago. She laid back on her bed, and let the bad memory take over.


Flashback:
The place was Celadon City. It was late afternoon, and the sun was shining bright. A young Aqua Marina had just broken into Team Rocket’s game corner hide out in an attempt to stop their evil plan. It just had to be her that fell against the switch which revealed the stairs leading down to the hide out. Aqua right away knew what it was, and since nobody was around she wasted no time going down the dark stairway into the unknown land of Team Rocket.
The basement of the game corner looked like a warehouse. It also had very dim lighting. Aqua looked around, on edge. It didn’t take long before a Team Rocket grunt game up behind her and questioned her presence.

Aqua let out a scream in shock. “You’re up to no good! I know you guys are, so don’t hide it!”

The grunt laughed. “HA! We’re not going easy on you now little girl.” The grunt then picked up a radio. “We have ourselves an intruder.” He said into it, alerting another grunt on guard.

“Stay back! I have Pokémon!” Aqua backed away as grunts started to come towards her from all directions.

“Go Zubat!” A grunt threw a pokeball at the girl, releasing a zubat.

Aqua grabbed all six pokeballs in defense and also threw them into the air. Out came a squirtle, clefairy, geodude, pidgey, ponyta, and eevee. “Go clefairy! Use sing on zubat!” An 11 year old Aqua commanded it. As she did, five grunts released dragonite. Aqua’s Pokémon couldn’t even defend themselves before the dragonite unleashed hyperbeam attacks, knocking out 5 of Aqua’s Pokémon, including clefairy.

“No!” Aqua cried as five of her Pokémon went down at once.

Aqua’s Squirtle, Bubbles, was the last standing, and she was determined to win. Bubbles used surf, but it was no use. One of the Rocket grunts’ dragonite used hyperbeam again, sending the small turtle Pokémon flying. “Bubbles, NO!” Aqua remembered screaming in horror. “Bubbles! Get up!” The Pokémon was getting ready to attack again. “PLEASE!” Aqua screamed and then quickly returned Squirtle and all of her Pokémon to their pokeballs before the dragonite attacked again. There was no other choice.

“It’s over.” Another Rocket grunt said as he aggressively grabbed her from behind.

“Let go of me you freak!” Aqua cried. She did not want to touched, especially by someone like him, a rocket grunt.

“Let go of her.” A clam voice said, which everyone heard. The Rocket grunts and Aqua turned around to see Red standing there, pokeball in hand. He lifted his hat so they could see his eyes. “Now.”

“Wow.” Aqua thought as she stared at him for the first time. “This is….just like a fairy tale. He’s here to save…me.”

“How’d you get in her, brat?” The grunt holding Aqua yelled at him. He was already annoyed by Aqua’s intrusion, but another made the anger build up inside him even more now.

“Let’s go.” Red sounded as if there was nothing to fear. He was ready to take on the Rocket grunts.

“Bring it on, kid.” With that one of the Rocket grunts, who went by the name Cosmo, sent out a Machoke. It flexed its muscles, and then stared angrily at Red.

“Go Charizard!” Red sent his Charizard into battle. The orange dragon came out of its pokeball in flames which quickly died out.

“Machoke, seismic toss!” With that command the Pokémon began running toward the fire lizard.

Red had a slight smile. “Charizard, fire blast.” He said calmly. With that command the Pokémon let out a strong blast of fire that hit Machoke head on. Once the flames cleared up, Machoke was left lying on the ground.

“No!” The grunt screamed. “The boss is not going to be happy if we fail. Send out the rest of your Pokémon!” He screamed to the grunts who had Pokémon that could still fight.

The grunts sent out even more Pokémon, but Red’s Charizard knocked them all out with a few fire blast attacks, even the dragonite.

“aaahhhaa.” Aqua whimpered as she stared at the sight with tears in her eyes. It was not just that Red was much stronger then her, he was also hot. But Aqua’s mind quickly shifted back to the fact that she was being held by a Team Rocket grunt, and in danger. “

The battle was over. Red now ran over to the grunt that was holding Aqua. “Again. Let her go now!”

“Make me!” The grunt shot back. He moved his arms to the squirming Aqua’s neck. “We’ll just see what the boss wants done to this little trainer.” He started to slightly chock her as she started to cry.

“Please don’t kill me.” Aqua cried. “I didn’t do anything. You….” Aqua was struggling. “You did this!”

“What!” The grunt was now in rage after hearing a little girl convicting him. What did she know! He tightened his hold on her neck as Aqua tried to scream.

Red would not watch anymore. The girl was defenseless, and this sight pushed Red to the edge. He had had it with their actions and would not take it anymore. He raised his arm and punched the grunt in the face, causing him to release Aqua. As she fell to the ground, he quickly grabbed her. “Are you ok?” He asked her.

Aqua looked Red in the eyes for the first time. “I’ll be alright.” Aqua strongly said, not wanted to let him know the slight fear she felt. She was fine, just shaken up.

Red noticed the grunts, and especially Cosmo, were not too happy. “WE GOTTA GO!” He cried as grabbed Aqua and ran for the exit, grunts chasing behind. He tried his best to make it to the exit, just for the safety of Aqua. He could always foil the rest of their plans later, but right now he had to get this brave trainer out of there. She was not strong enough to handle them, yet.

The two ran outside the Game Conner and into an ally way, unknowing to the grunts on their tail. Once they knew it was safe, they quickly sat down in exhaustion from running. “Now what did you say your name was?” Red asked Aqua.

Aqua was still exhausted from running, but somehow was not scared anymore. It was if Red made her problems go away by his presence now. “My name is Aqua Marina.”

Red turned to Aqua. “Aqua, I saw your battle skills, and I’ll tell you, you’re really great. I see great things coming in your future.”

Aqua blushed knowing he was talking to her. “I want to know him.” Was all Aqua could think. “He is like…my prince.” The way he had just saved her played over and over in her mind. “It’s just like those fairy tales.”

“So let me guess. You want to be a Pokémon master.” Red was staring at the blushing, spaced out, Aqua. “Right, Aqua?”

“Huh!” Aqua came down to earth hearing him say her name. “Yes!” But she really had no idea what he had asked her. She was still lost in a fantasy world.

“You’re gonna make it.” Red smiled at her, but really had no idea what she was thinking. “You’re a rookie trainer and already pretty skilled. That’s a good sign right there.”

“It is?” Aqua said still blushing. She had heard something Red said, even while in her Fantasy World.

“Yeah, of course. To handle your Pokémon that well while scared,…and don’t deny that you weren’t.” Red grinned at the girl.

“No!” Aqua quickly screeched and then looked down. He knew she was acting brave. “…..yes. Especially when I thought I would be killed.” She looked back up at Red, whose name she still did not know. “But you came and made everything better.” She was getting excited. “You are amazing! You are…”

“Red.” Red interrupted her. “The Pokémon Champion of Kanto.”

Aqua almost fell back from hearing this. “Red….” She blushed even harder. In her mind she heard “I want to know more. I think I…” *end flashback*

A 19 year old Aqua is still lying on her bed reminiscing this. “Love you.” She said under her breath.

“Eevee Vee?” Aqua’s Eevee, Vee, noticed that Aqua was lying on her bed spaced out, when she should be studying. Vee hated to be in a pokeball ever since he had bonded with Aqua while she was in Kanto back then. Ever since Aqua and her Squirtle had saved him from a fire, Vee and Aqua have been inseparable.

Aqua did not even hear Vee. She was going deeper and deeper back into that first meeting with Red. She smiled and blushed as she hugged her pillow. Was she dreaming?

This sight annoyed Vee, and the fact that Aqua was ignoring him was unforgivable. He would not stand for it. He would get Aqua back down to earth no matter what it took, even if he had to bite her. And that is exactly what he did. “Sorry, but I have to do this.” Vee thought as he nipped her leg.

“ARECEUS! VEE WHAT WAS THAT!” Aqua screamed at the top of her lungs in slight pain. She felt that bite alright, and did not like it. “Well it seems Team Rocket is back, but you’re no better at times.” Aqua cried at Vee. “Remember when we almost took down those jerks in Viridian City all those years ago?”

“Vee eve vee!” Vee remembered very well how Aqua and six of her pokemon risked their lives to help bring down Team Rocket. They didn’t almost take them down, they got ganged up on. He was worried about what Aqua was getting at with this. She wasn’t planning on going after them this summer? That would be a summer of danger.

“Well we’re going on an adventure this summer, Vee.” Aqua gave her Eevee a forced smile. She still loved her eevee to bits, even though his behavior annoyed her no end at times.

Vee knew she’d say that. He would not let Aqua risk their lives again, and with this he jumped her, knocking her to the floor.

“VEE, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!” Aqua screamed as she got up. “That’s it, you’re going back in your pokeball.”

Vee ran up to Aqua and started cry. Aqua realized the Pokémon was only looking out for her. She sat down on the floor next to Vee, and he jumped into her lap and began to kiss her face.

“I’m sorry Vee, but I’m going. Somebody has to get rid of them, and Red is away right now. The only strong trainer around who knows their secrets is me.” Aqua hugged the fluffy brown Pokémon. “Don’t worry; we’re much stronger than back then.” In Aqua’s mind she could hear a 13 year old Red say “You’ll make it.” Even after all these years. She hugged Vee tight. “Everything will be fine.”

Please Comment!!!
The next chapter will be up probably in a week or two.

Just a note - I am also posting this fic on another popular site, so if you see it and it's by eevee91, it was me who uploaded it.

 

[Legacy]

I love the rewrite.

A lot of improvements already as far as I can tell.

 

[TeamGalacticMercury]

I'm kinda confused.... in the TR base, you said she was nine. Then you said she was eleven. Anyway, good job!

 

[eevee91]

You're probably thinking of when I said it was 9 years ago.

Thanks for the comments! And please people, I need some more reviews.

 

[Abstractwatercolor]

I loved it. Me want more NAO!

 

[eevee91]

Thanks for the reviews! Please continue to read and review, because things are getting exciting.

And if you want, please take a look at my third and last Aqua Marina Fic, "It's Not Over."

Ch. 1: Time To Go

The month flew by and finally came the morning Aqua Marina was to leave her Cerulean City home. “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Her alarm clock sounded as she jumped up out of a deep sleep. “Morning already?” Was the first thing Aqua thought. Then she realized just what morning it was, and also that she had accidentally knocked Vee off the bed jumping up like that. “Team Rocket WILL Lose!” She screamed as she jumped out of bed, eager to get the show on the road.

Aqua had already picked out her outfit. For her mission she would wear; a puffed sleeved sky blue top, jeans, and sky blue flats. She packed her backpack, pulled her thick, shoulder length, brown hair back, grabbed her backpack and pokéballs, and then headed downstairs.

“Mom… I’m leaving.” She called out. What she didn’t tell her was that she was actually going after Team Rocket. If she knew they would worry too much, so Aqua decided that it was best if she just knew she went on a Pokémon journey, which she still actually was.

“Be careful honey.” Aqua’s mother called out from the kitchen. She was used to her daughter leaving and knew she would be safe with her Pokémon.

“Don’t worry, I’ll come back. I always do.” Aqua shouted as she left her house with Vee trailing behind. Her brown eyes sparkled as she looked back, and just then something made Aqua think she may never return. “I’ll come back.” She said to herself as she started southward.

As Aqua and Vee started south on Route 5, she spotted someone who looked very familiar. Someone who looked just like…her love. “Oh my Arceus! When did you get here, Red?” Aqua ran up to him and hugged him in excitement. “I thought you away on Mount Silver being Mister Pokémon Master.”

“Excuse me, but I don’t know you girl.” A guy who looked almost like Red turned around. He had black hair just like Red, was the same height, and was wearing; jeans, a black shirt, and white sneakers, but had a different face and green eyes.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I thought you were somebody else.” Aqua backed away slowly in embarrassment. Her face turned bright red.

“That’s alright. It was sort of cute.” The guy smiled and winked at her. He was definitely Red’s age, and looked almost like him. The only noticeable difference was in the face.
“So are you by chance a Pokémon trainer?” Aqua tried to shake off her embarrassment.

Derik Froze. “I gotta think of something....fast.” He thought for a minute.

“So…” Aqua stared at him, awaiting an answer.

“Got it!” Derik finally had his answer. “Yeah. My name’s Derik and I hope to become a gym leader some day. In fact I’m very close, I just need to get a little stronger and then I’ll apply.”

“It’s nice to meet you. My name’s Aqua Marina and I hope to someday become a Pokémon master.”

“A Pokémon master?” This statement stunned Derik for a minute. “Well how good are you?”

“I’m almost the best. Beat the Elite 4 a few years ago, but lost to the new champion.” Aqua said, as though almost bragging.

“Want to battle?” Derik looked into Aqua’s eyes.

“What! Battle here, now!” Aqua cried in surprise.

“Yeah. You want to be a Pokémon Master, and I want to be a gym leader. It only makes sense if we battle to see who’s stronger.” Derik smirked as he thought, “We’ll see if her Pokémon have any worth.”

“Ok, if you say so. Then I’ll accept you challenge.” Aqua smiled back at him.

“How about just a quick one on one battle?” Derik asked.

“Fine. I’ll be using my partner, Vee.” As Aqua said this, Vee hopped in front of her, ready for battle.

“An Eevee!?” Derik said in surprise.

“Is something wrong with it?” If one thing annoyed Aqua, it was people who thought eevee was a weak Pokémon.

“No, not at all.” He then got out a pokéball. “Then I’ll go with my Pikachu.” Derik threw the pokéball to have a Pikachu emerge from it.

“Ok, I’ll let you make the first move, Derik.” Aqua said in a determined voice.

“Thanks. Then, Pikachu use thunderbolt.” Derik called out to it.

“Vee, use dig quickly!” Aqua called out to her Eevee. Vee quickly went underground and dodged the attack just in time.

“Dig! I didn’t expect her little Eevee to know any ground type moves. I may be in trouble here.” Derik thought. “It’s better than I expected.”

Derik’s Pikachu stood there waiting for the Eevee to come up. After around a minute the brown furry Pokémon appeared from the ground and leaped towards Pikachu, causing it to take a critical hit.

“Pikachu, get up and use thunder!” Derik was getting worried. “If only Pikachu knew protect, we could have stopped that dig attack.” He thought. “Damn! She’s not just kidding….her Pokémon are strong.”

“Pika!” Pikachu cried as it let out a bolt of electricity.

“Vee, dig again!” Aqua cried, but Vee wasn’t quick enough. The attack hit, slightly weakening the Eevee. That’s when Aqua though of an attack that might cause more damage to Pikachu. Her eyes widened as she called out, “Vee, secret power!”

The Eevee heard its trainer’s command and began to kick little rocks and dirt towards the Pikachu.
A could of dust surrounded the Pikachu, then when the dust finally faded Pikachu was left lying on the ground. Aqua had won.

“That was just a warm up.” Derik had a weird grin on his face. “Next time I’ll be the winner.”

“Your Pokémon need some more work if you want to be a gym leader.” Aqua told him, seeing he was not all that strong.

“Yeah, but you said you beat the Elite 4, didn’t you Aqua.” Derik asked in a neutral tone while staring at her.

“Yes, I did beat the Elite 4, didn’t I?” Aqua smiled hearing the acknowledgement she was given.

“So where are you headed now?” Derik asked her as he thought, “I gotta trail this twerp.”

Aqua paused as she wondered why he wanted to know that. “I’m going to Celadon City to take care of something.” Aqua answered unsure if she should have answered that at all.

Alarms went off in Derik’s mind. “Celadon City...I really hope she isn’t.” Derik thought. “I gotta make sure this twerp isn’t after us.”

“………..I guess I’ll be going then.” Aqua stared at a silent Derik, who was still lost in thought. “Weird.” She picked up Vee, and started on her way.

“Wait! Why don’t I come with you? It just so happens that that’s where I’m headed.” Derik said nervously. In his mind he knew he had to follow her. He knew what she was planning to do, and she could pull it off.

“Why….why does he want to follow me?” Aqua thought for an answer as she became more and more weary of him. “Sure, I guess that’s not a problem.” She said unsure of what she should do. The minute she said it she had second thoughts. “What about going after Team Rocket?”

“Ok then, let’s go to Celadon City!” Derik laughed as he began to walk ahead.

“I should have flown on Pidgeotto.” Aqua thought as she began to walk after Derik. She felt so nervous, but knew her Pokémon were right at her waist if there was trouble.
While walking, Aqua had a thought. “What does he want from me?.....He seems nice, but I don’t trust him.”

Derik looked back at Aqua for a minute. “Come on. I wanna get there before night……” He stopped dead for a minute, staring at Aqua.

“What’s wrong?” Aqua noticed.

A flashback flew threw Derik’s mind. “She looks familiar.” He focused on her more.

Aqua twitched. “He’s staring at me again…..” She cried under her breath.

Derik made a weird face and then turned back, beginning forward. “It’s nothing.” He insisted.

Aqua felt like she wanted to scream “I want to go home!” But she knew she had a mission so she brushed this awkward situation off, and continued towards Celadon City.

Next Chapter ~The Revelation

Eevee’s rants Thoughts

Spoiler

This is going to be really different, the rewrite that is. If you read the first one, forget it. Much will be changed. I’m keeping some things…the rest I’m rewriting completely. When I decided to write a fanfic, I had a million ideas, and that did not help along with my lack of time to write a good one.
Spoiler:

Spoiler

The plot will have much more Team Rocket evil in it. D:

And please comment/review! Is it good, bad, alright? Do you like it, love it, or (hopefully not...)hate it? And if you see errors please tell me.

 

[TeamGalacticMercury]

Nice! And Vee is teh epiz!


EDIT: I fail at humor. :/

 

[eevee91]

Chapter 2: The Revelation

Aqua and Derik reached the Celadon Pokémon Center by 7 PM. The Pokémon center looked just like all the others. There was a small waiting room with chairs, tables, a PC, and a flat screen TV on the wall. They grabbed a snack and then went to the rooms they would be staying in. The problem here was that there were no rooms left. They would have to sleep in the waiting room.

“Well, I’m not really tried yet, Aqua, but you can go to sleep if you want. I’ll be quiet.” Derik smirked.

“NO!” Aqua screamed then froze in realization at what she had just done. “I’m not tired.” Aqua quickly added.

“Ok, do you want to talk to pass the time?” Derik looked at Aqua sitting on the couch, Vee sleeping next to her.

“Sure, that’s fine.” Aqua said, still uncomfortable.

“You know you never mentioned why you were going to Celadon City. You only said you had something to take care of.” Derik asked as he thought, “Now we’ll find out the truth.”

“Shopping! Just….shopping.” Aqua smiled through extreme nervousness. She knew she could never let anyone know.

Derik knew just by the way she said it that she was lying. “Really?”

“Yeah. There is a big department store right over there.” She pointed westward while shaking.

Derik could not take anymore. He wanted the truth. “Aqua, do you know anything about Team Rocket?” He said remaining calm.

Aqua froze. “No…..” She tried to say, but her voice shook with her.

“You really don’t?” Derik gave her an evil eye.

Aqua saw his face and wanted to scream. She put her hand on a pokéball at her waist, but Derik saw this.

“Aqua, don’t do that. I’m trying to help.” He said in an annoyed tone.

“Well it’s not me you’re trying to help.” Aqua screamed, but unfortunately nobody was in the Pokémon center at that time of night. “What does he want?” Aqua desperately thought. “Is he…..from Team Rocket.” She was scared of the thought.

“Everyone knows about Team Rocket, Aqua.” Derik glared at her as he pulled out a Pokémon. “I want to show you something.” He said as he released it.

Aqua was frozen in fear. She couldn’t move, scream, or even think. In front of her was now a Tangela.

“It’s cool, right?” Derik grinned. “Now show her vine whip, Tangela.” Derik commanded it.

The Tangela did just as it was told. Out from it came two blue vines that wrapped tightly around Aqua, who still was frozen in fear. Tied up with her was Vee. There was no back up.

Derik laughed. “Now. I need some answers, so you stay here for a minute.” As he headed across the room he looked back at her tied up by his Pokémon. “Well, you don’t have any choice, do you?” He laughed as pulled out a cell phone.
...
“Where are you, Derik?” A voice on the other end said.

“I’m in Celadon City now, right at the Pokémon Center. And I think I’ve just discover something.”

“What is it?” The voice on the other end yelled.

“Remember the battle around eight years ago, when I was your apprentice, and you defeated a kid only to be defeated by another kid?”

“Yeah, and you stood on the side lines. So what about it?” He was suspicious of Derik’s bringing it up.

“Well, Cosmo, it just so happens that I’ve got the loser right here, and all tied up.”

“Female? Dark brown hair?”

“Yes, and she’s got an Eevee nicknamed Vee, too.” Derik added.

“That’s her alright! What’s she up to?” He had an evil grin on his face.

“Nothing really.” Derik told Cosmo. “Well, I’m sure she knows about our come back, and is probably planning on taking us down.”

“We’re heading over now.” Cosmo said in a dark tone.

Derik heard Aqua begin to whine as she tried to free her arms. “I got to do something before she alerts anyone.”

“Sleep powder.” Cosmo said as thought Derik should know.

“Brilliant!” Derik cried in excitement. “I’m on it.” He said as he ended the call.

Derik walked back over to Aqua. “Hello there.” He gave her an evil smile.

Aqua looked up at him in fear. “Derik…are you with….Team Rocket?”

“How did you ever guess?” Derik laughed. “I’m not playing now that I know who you really are.”

“Yeah. I’m Aqua Marina. A Pokémon trainer.” Aqua said in a mix of fear and confusion.

“And a spy.” Derik added. “The heck you know nothing about us. I knew as soon as I recognized you.”

“Recognized me?” Aqua cried. “From where?”

“9 years ago ring a bell?” He glared at her.

“The battle….” Aqua realized just what he meant. The same battle she was out numbered in, and the battle Red saved her.

“Yeah, I was there.” Derik moved back a little. “Now Tangela, use sleep powder.”

“No!” Aqua cried as a fine dust surrounded her. She could feel herself drifting into sleep. “Don’t hurt my Pokémon.” She said as she struggled to stay awake, but finally lost and fell into a deep sleep.

“Of course not.” Derik said, glaring at a now asleep Aqua and Vee. As he did he reached over and took Aqua’s pokéballs. “You won’t need these.”
All he could do now was wait for Cosmo and the others to show up.

Next Chapter - Nightmare


The story is being rewritten. Afterall, this is the rewrite.
And I really like the semi-new darker plot. > The original was too…..I don’t know.... Please read and review!

 

[Legacy]

Hey I am really liking Aqua's character. I guess I did before too, but yea the re-write is looking good. Perhaps a bit too much dialog and not enough description, but overall not a huge deal. The story is great!