Team Fortress 2 - *Me and Pokemad*

[Metabee]

The people men, each garbed in their own personal red uniform, crouched down in a circle in the darkened room. Each held a signature weapon in their hands. One held an aluminium softball bat, one held a grenade launder, and the third held a flamethrower. The small flame at the end of the flamethrower provided some of the little light in the room.

"Awright, boys, so that's the plan. While me and Masky run toward that base 'n' dodgin' every bullet that they shoot," the boy holding the bat explained, "Patch'll shoot his stick blobs, and they'll be like *boom*, *boom*, *pow*, *fwaah*, *oh god help us!*"

The one holding the flamethrower facepalmed with their one free hand.

"Mmmf, mmfmmf mmf mmf mmf mmfmff mmff mmf mff mff?" they said. The two men turned the the masked person and raised their eyebrows, confused.

"Yeah sure, Pyro, you can go first if ya want!" the boy with the bat replied. The masked person, who was codenamed "Pyro", performed another facepalm in response to the boy's reaction. The other man, who hadn't spoken yet, stood up and walked over to one wall.

"Sunds like a plan! Le's give 'em hell... in hell!!" he roared, thrusting his grenade launcher into the air and then kicking the doors to the barn open.

The boy with the bat, codenamed "Scout", dashed towards the enemy base, whipping out his shotgun and preparing to shoot any incoming enemies. The other man, codenamed "Demoman", poised his sticky grenade launcher, waiting for an enemy to pop out so he could blow them to smithereens.

Pyro hid behind the door frame, waiting for the inevitable sound of Scout & Demoman's untimely deaths.

 

[Pokémad]

"The Blu's. A formidable force in battle." Said a man wearing a helmet. A thud was heard, and a Russian started to talk. "Sasha had enemy fingerprint on, I had to use zis polish."
"My knife has a ton of blood on, I don't need stain remover, get over it." A masked man said.
"NO ONE OFFENDS SASHA!" The Russian said.
"Okay okay okay! Heavy, Spy, stop arguing! We're trying to kill the red's, not trying to kill each other!" The Soldier said. "Anyway, pipe down, we may have alerted the red's."

They hid around the room, waiting to ambush the Red's, if they entered.

 

[Metabee]

Scout ignored the muffled warnings from Pyro as he dashed towards the enemy base. He leapt atop a bail of hay, and quickly checked that his shotgun was loaded. Suddenly, there was a loud bang, and the bail exploded, causing Scout to topple to the floor and bash his head against the pavement.

"Hey there, mate! Don't be so reckless! It aint professional!" called an Australian man from the rafters in the Red barn; he was codenamed "Sniper". Scout turned his nose up at him.

"Yo, don't tell me what to do! You haven't been where I have, if you were from where I'm from, you'd be freakin' dead!" Scout yelled back at Sniper arrogantly.

"You say that about everything, mate. Get back inside the base!" Sniper called back, not seeming at all annoyed about the fact that one of his team members was about to blow their cover and get them all slaughtered if he wasn't careful.

"Screw you, butthole!" Scout responded, before turning around, dashing through the door of the Blu base, turning a corner... and ending up in the room where all the Blus were having their discussion.

"Aw, crap!" Scout screamed loudly, which was probably the least intelligent thing to do in the current situation.

 

[Pokémad]

"Hello there!" Soldier said, hitting him with his shovel. "Guys, move, I'll hide him." Heavy and the Spy moved out the back of the base, while Soldier hid Scout.

Heavy rushed out stupidly, while Spy turned invisible.

Meanwhile, in another building, The Blu Scout was checking his inventory. "Scattergun, Pistol, Bat. Those Red's are f***ing dead." He said, putting on his headset, and checking the area outside. He rushed out, and pumped his Scattergun.

 

[Metabee]

*Scout dies*

"Bullocks, they must've got Scout..." Sniper muttered as the Blu Heavy lumbered out of the Blu base. He glared at the Heavy through the reticle of his Sniper Rifle, aiming for his head, and then took the shot.

Meanwhile, Demoman turned tail and ran away from the Heavy, heading for the door of the base, and began to shoot sticky bombs around the door frame to the base should the Heavy run in. Pyro, still hiding behind the door, poked his head around the door and ran towards the Blu base, hoping Sniper and Demoman would cover him.

 

[Pokémad]

*Heavy Dies*

Soldier had placed the body, and turned round to see a pyro. "Dammit, do I have to do everything?" He said, getting ready to shoot his rocket.

"Heavy is dead. Guess it's up to me." Spy said, walking around.

Blu Scout was still running around, when he heard a sniper gunshot. "I need to track that gunshot!" He said.

 

[Metabee]

Pyro stumbled as the Blu Soldier stepped out in front of him, with his rocket launcher ready to fire. Pyro took his chances, readying his flamethrower.

Demoman continued to wait by the door frame to the Red base, and spotted a Blu Scout heading towards him. He camped in a corner, waiting to detonate his sticky bombs. He also hoped that the Scout didn't enter through the sewer entrance, because that would ruin the Demoman's plan completely.

===***===

"Ja, Engie, ve need these respawn machine to ve up and vunning, ovvervise we von't be able to deveat the Blus!" a man in a doctors coat, codenamed Medic, yelled at a stout man in a hard hat, codenamed Engineer. The Engineer sighed, lowering his wrench.

"I don't have the faintest idea what you just said, Doc. Just make sure no Spies come up behind me, if I don't manage to remodulate and recalibrate this respawning machine, we're all gonna have a new structurally superfluous new rectum, all of us..." Engineer muttered.

"Ja, zat's vat I just zaid!" Medic answered. Engineer ignored him.

 

[Pokémad]

Soldier rocket jumped up, and got out his shotgun. "Not quite what you would expect!" He said.

Scout looked. He thought to himself. Sewer entrance! I'll be undetected, and it'll give me a chance to get to the Red's base.

==***==

"Nothing like the good ol' Brimstone." Demoman said, readying his weapons.
"Demoman, we zhould attack ze enemy baze, we need to gather all ze Blu Team, and zen begin our frontal azzault." Medic said.
"Don't you just mean we blow em' to smithereens?" He said.
"Egzactly." Medic replied.

 

[Metabee]

Pyro was thrown back a little by the Soldier's rocket jump, and put away its flamethrower, bringing out its own shotgun to take on the Soldier and his shotgun. Pyro had always believed in fighting fire with fire.

==***===

"Okay, Heavy, so you ahre undehrstandeeng my plan?" a man in a suit and a balaclava, codenamed Spy, finished explaining to a large man holding a larger machine gun, codenamed Heavy. The Heavy nodded to him. The Spy nodded back.

Spy pulled out a cigarette case, and quickly made up his face and costume so that he looked like a medic from the Blu team. He turned around and nodded to the Heavy. The Spy, disguised as a Medic, ran out onto the battlefield, and the Heavy followed, preparing to fire his huge machine gun.

"Zat's a Blu Medic! He touch Sasha, he shall veel my boolit in his azz!" Heavy roared in an unconvincingly panicky voice so loud it could be heard over gunfire. The Spy continued to run away, jumping off of a ledge and into the water below, preparing to run over to the Blu's sewer entrance. Heavy followed him.

"No, Heavy! Do not vollow me into ze Blue base, our covehr shall be blown!" Spy spat at the Heavy. Heavy stared at the Spy blankly for a moment.

"Blu Medic!! Die! Cry some more!!" the Heavy roared, preparing to fire his machine gun. The Spy sighed and ran away, into the Blu Base, the Heavy chasing after him with a menacing glare.

 

[Pokémad]

Soldier fired, but missed. "Shovel time!" He said, hitting the pyro's shotgun out of it's hands.

==***==

The Scout overheard the Heavy and the Spy/Medic. "Here comes the Boston Basher."

 

[Metabee]

The Pyro blinked, bewildered, as the shotgun was smashed out of his grip. He then pulled out his axe, and swung it towards the Soldier's neck.

===***===

The Spy continued to run into the Blu Base, ending up at the top of the stairs by the sewer room. Heavy seemed to have gotten lost along the way.

 

[Pokémad]

The soldier tried to block the attack, but the pyro had smashed his shovel.

==***==

Scout saw a figure, and decided to get closer, pulling out his bat.

 

[Pokémad]

The soldier tried to block the attack, but the pyro had smashed his shovel.

==***==

Scout saw a figure, and decided to get closer, pulling out his bat.

 

[Metabee]

The Pyro gave the Soldier a death glare through his mask, pulling his flamethrower back out, and spat a few warning flames at the Soldier, before letting rip and sending flames everywhere.

===***===

The Spy turned around, and saw a Blu Scout heading his way.

"Help me, Zcout! Das Red Heavy is heading thees way!" he called over to the Scout, readying his switchblade for when the Scout passed.

 

[Pokémad]

The soldier got caught on fire, running towards the sewers, he ran past the Red Medic/Spy, and died.
*Soldier dies*

Scout saw the spy's disguise. "Home run!" He said, hitting the spy several times with his bat.

 

[Metabee]

"Argh! You leetle Americaan bastehrd!" the Spy screamed as the Scout smashed him over the head, before crumpling to the the floor. The Heavy seemed to have gotten lost somewhere in the sewers.

*Spy Dies*

===***===

Pyro, who was lucky to have gotten out of the encounter with the Blu Soldier alive, turned tail and ran away from the Blu base, checking everywhere for any hidden enemies. The Sniper, who had stayed silent this whole time, watched through the reticle of his sniper rifle, ready to fire. The Demoman was still hiding around the corner of the door.

===***===

"Is za respawning machine ready yet, Engie!?" Medic cried anxiously.

"Nah, it's not. I'm busy working on this sentry. You see, while we're fixing the respawner, we could get attacked, and if either of us die, the battle's over. It helps to have an extra gun, y'see," the Engineer explained.