The Art of the Negative Review

[A Concerned Solomon]

I picked the username "The Review Guy" on FF.net for a reason: I love to give positive reviews when such credit is due.

Lately, I'm finding the dark side of being The Review Guy.

Two fans of my Gaki-bashing tale have written some of the most God-awful, piss-poor pieces I have ever seen. Not surprisingly, guess the ship? Gymshipping, the unbashable ship.

I have given these two what I hope are the most honest, fair, and constructive criticisms I possibly could. It's hard to do when dealing with a songfic which states that Misty only likes Ash because she is Togepi's "Mind-slave" or a supposedly emotional piece whose plot is driven by the incredibly unbelievable event of fiercly-loyal Ash leaving Misty for Daisy, who is in turn characterized as Queen of the Sluts. Ash is characterized as drunken pervert-stupid, rather than his own "I don't get it" stupid.

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

OK, if you really wanna do this, I'd suggest that you offer either to beta or help them find someone to do so. That way, it's not really an insult, and they get the help they need.

 

[Lara Croft]

I dunno whether you have to volunteer to be beta or not. That's a rather extensive and difficult job.

Personally, I'd tell them what you think of the fic as politely as you can, but offer it constructively. Example:

Say something positive, like their idea is neat. Then go and start to tell them what they need to do. "You know, I think that Misty could be better portrayed if you added..." Then finish up wiht another positive thing. That way, you've done your best while being supportive. ^^

 

[Transfinite]

Tater Tot, please. Anyone could see that the one where Kasumi was Togepi's "mind-slave" was just a joke. You actually thought I meant it to be serious? Same with the one where she's crying her eyes out and it turns out to be Kojiro, not Takeshi. They weren't serious. They were jokes that you took the wrong way, for whatever reason.

 

[Jude]

I beta, and have beta'd (*glares in BBP's direction*) several stories by different authors, and I must say that unless you have an extremely good grasp of the technical side of english grammar, you're really just floundering along; for the most part, it's very hard.

But it's best to just let somebody come to you, asking for a beta, and really... it's not a very good idea to offer to beta someone's fic, and then try and change the plot (which, in agreement with Ketsuban, does sound at least somewhat spoofish). How'd you like it if your beta told you the plot is crap, drop it and try again, after you'd just written it?

^^; *shurgs*

Perhaps just posting a review saying what you thought about the fic would work...

 

[Barb]

Maybe Tater Tot didn't get the joke, Ketsuban. HeWiE had a story of hers locked on SPP because she wrote a sarcastic, mean-spirited AAML. Maybe we didn't get her joke, either.

I have tried to write constructive reviews but I had an emotional basket case of an author delete a review I had written and then she emailed me, asking me not to read anymore of her story!

Please.

Even Pulitzer-prize winning authors get negative reviews occasionally. Some are scathing and some are mild. Dorothy Parker once reviewed a novel and wrote, "This is not a book to be taken lightly. It should be thrown with great force." If you think fanfiction reviews are negative, try getting something published.

It is helpful to start with a compliment: a scene that caught your attention; the author's attention to detail, or whatever. Then gently explain what you didn't like about the story. Don't be sarcastic or mean and don't call the author names. Criticize the story only. A good author values all of his or her readers and will take any and all reviews to heart.