The Challenge! (NOTE: Discussion)

[AiedailEclipsed]

I am probably going to get my head ripped off so many times for this, but I'm curious.

Personally, I think the Twilight series is the biggest load of sh*t to ever be published. It is a disgrace and insult to literature, and it's popularity is slowly killing my dreams of being a writer myself one day. If I won't be able to publish a good, decent piece of literature because it doesn't have enough sparkling pussy "vampires" in it, then I don't know what I'd do. Writing is my life. If I can't write what I want because a series so craptastically bad as Twilight is what's selling...well, I'd rather not write at all. But I digress.

Obviously, I hate the series. Now, here is my challenge to any and all Twilight fans here on Bulbagarden: prove me wrong.

I have read all four books in the series, mainly out of curiosity to see what all the hype was about. But I want to see someone who actually likes the series give an analysis on it. Why do you like it? What is it about this series that attracts you, as a reader? Sell me this series. Make me want to read it again. Prove to me that there's something more to this series than an insult to bad fanfiction that somehow managed to get published.

A private message would probably be more practical for responses, since I expect them to be long. And let's face it: if your defense of the series is so short that it wouldn't take up an obscene amount of space in a reply to this blog, it probably isn't a very good argument in the first place. Any friends of Bulbagardeners who are Twilight fans are welcome to try as well. Bulbagardeners, if you have a friend who you think would like to take me up on this challenge, just get their argument (word-for-word, no paraphrasing, no editing, completely in their own words) and send it via PM -- just make sure you note that this isn't your argument, unless you have something else to add above/below it.

That's it! Twilight fans, the gauntlet has been thrown down. Can you convert a Twilight hater?

Discuss the challenge and the books in general. Pweez?

 

[Blackjack Gabbiani]

This isn't a fanfic discussion so I'm moving it.

 

[Zephy]

I enjoyed the books merely because my expectations were low. I expected a shallow teen romance novel with a bit of a poor plot and that us exactly what I got. I guess my pessimism gave me more enjoyment from them.

 

[AiedailEclipsed]

This isn't a fanfic discussion so I'm moving it.

Look closely at your own rules...

I enjoyed the books merely because my expectations were low. I expected a shallow teen romance novel with a bit of a poor plot and that us exactly what I got. I guess my pessimism gave me more enjoyment from them.

LOL, I can understand that. Alot of people didn't like it because when they hear vampire its automatically like, "Holy shit, Vampire book! We should expect a marvelous work of literature that could only have been written by a god!" I personally think thats what ruined it for alot of people, is that they expected too much from it and then when they got sparkly vampires. They are like, "Aw, hell no!" And don't even go from there. I mean honestly, how many of you actually read past the first book (if even to the end of it!?)

 

[ShinyFlareon]

LOL, I can understand that. Alot of people didn't like it because when they hear vampire its automatically like, "Holy shit, Vampire book! We should expect a marvelous work of literature that could only have been written by a god!" I personally think thats what ruined it for alot of people, is that they expected too much from it and then when they got sparkly vampires. They are like, "Aw, hell no!" And don't even go from there. I mean honestly, how many of you actually read past the first book (if even to the end of it!?)

*raises hand* Uh...I did. All four of them. And I read them with no expectations and actively looking for what supposedly made these books so good. All I found was a pile of shit.

But that's not what I asked for. I asked for people to sell me on these books. Make me see what I apparently missed. What the hell is so great about them? Prove to me that this series is as great as everyone seems to think it is.

 

[Aladar]

They can not prove it.

Because, in reality, the series is not great. It isn't the worst either, but let's face it- the target audience was girls from the beginning, thus the vampires were portraited like the sexiest things evah...blah! On top of that, 60% of the girls can't really handle gross and brutal decapitating scenes and the author, once again on purpose, portraited them as peace-loving vegetarian vampires...Come on, blood is blood for Pete's sake!

The novel is cheesy, overly romantic blah blah blah, written just to appeal to the teenage girls in love with Edward or someone else from the main cast...and that's that, the girls sigh deeply every time they see one of the characters' sparkling faces and say "Ahhh, *insert name here*, I want you!"

The total cheesyness aside, the worst things about the books is the vampires. They are a parody for Pete's sake! First of all, they sparkle on sunlight, making them even more appealing to fangirls...uhm, I mean victims. Creativity and the OurVampiresAreDifferent trope aside, but that's one of the main vampire rules- fire and sun are their enemies, only the oldest and strongest ones can survive them, not every new sired childe.

Then comes the problem, maybe the biggest CursedWithCool problem, the vampires in the books are perfectly capable to control themselves, they have no inner demons, no "Beast" within them. In short, they are super strong and cool human beings with higher emo factor and drink blood. Animal blood. And who the Johto cares about the dark rogue vampire type, who wants to be good, but his constant animalistic urges take control of him... no inner fight,no, no, no!

And their vampire society? In the books, IIRC, there are many many small vampire bands roaming wherever they want. And the big vampire bosses in Italy? No, they don't control their "siblings" who, if their aren't "vegetarian", kill left and right and even leave tracks and evidences. And the Cullen family is said to be one of the biggest Covens... Camarilla and Sabbat say "Hi"!

And the self-preservance instinct of the heroine when she learns that her classmates are vicious killing blood-sucking walking corpses (Well, their are not, but she doesn't no at that time.)? Zero...and zero again. No screams, running...oh why do I even bother?

And the talking baby born from all the cheesyness (Her father's bio-functions shouldn't be working, so from what else could her mother have been knocked up?)? Well, I'm all for the creepy little girls trope but...

One more thing, IIRC, it isn't stated from where vampires came from? Who was the first? The Big Boss? Tzk... Dracula and Caine say "Hi".


All in all, that's my not so humble opinion. I apologise if I had offened people who like the book, are emo, or in love with some of the characters, I didn't mean it and I have nothing against emos or girls who like cheesy books- one of my best friends is one (Well, she doesn't admit she's nearly emo but that's another story... ). And nearly all of the girls I know and I am friends with love the books.

 

[1337R34P3R]

....*vomit*...

 

[ShinyFlareon]

@Aladar: I know all those arguments. I've used them -- and many more -- myself. But as a writer, I want to know what people want to read. As a reader, I'm curious to know what I appear to have missed in my reading of these books.

Basically: I've heard all the negative arguments. I want to hear what positive arguments any fans have to give, and see if they can present them in a way that represses rabid fangirling and forces them to give a logical, analytical argument. And yes...part of this whole thing was to see if such an argument even existed. Don't think I'm looking for more reasons to hate the series than I already do.