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TEEN: - Ongoing The chronicles of Nigma: The twisted start

MC Karkat

Aqua Teen Avoidance Plan
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Once a apon a time I knew this guy who never really respected what others liked, he used make other people feel bad about them selfs. I'm say 'You have to stop this, your making people more by the second, just apologize and get on with your life!!' He didn't like that, not one bit, he pushed to the ground and said 'I'll kill you for that!! What I do is way a of life and you just offended me!' A stared in terror and said 'How am I offending you when your many more people with your filth?' I am now sure that he is insane and doing what I did was a BAD idea 'Any last words?' he asked me as he pulled a gun out and aimed it towards my head 'Just think about what your doing.'

...My body was found the next day.....

They were interiggating my the man who killed me and I just wanted to ring his neck SO badly but I didn't have the power to do so 'He was my best friend...' That lier claimed 'SHUT UP!!!' I shouted but nobody heard me 'I'm right here!!' I tried to get the officer's attention 'I give...' I walked out of the room and some how ended up in a morgue and I saw a body bag some stranger came along watch him open the bag and I looked horror as I saw myself "This... Can't be." I got on my knees and cried 'How? HOW?' I screamed, I knew the not a single living soul would hear my cries for help 'Why haven't I passed on?' I asked my self 'Because you have some unsettled buiness with your murderer, you know, the psychopath in the other room.' A voice from behind me said as I turned aroun to see an old man 'Who are you?' I asked as I got up 'I'm William..." The man told me 'And your Nigma.' I stared in amazment, how could a man this old know my name 'How-' 'Your name is on the tag.' I looked over to my body and saw a tag with my name on it 'Oh.' I said as I turned to back look at the old man but he had vanished 'William?' I tried calling him out 'Man, dead old people are weird...' I told my self as I left both the morgue and my past.
 
I'm sorry, but..... This story sucks. It has a good plot, paranormal crime dramas aren't very usual around here. But.... its writing style, spelling, and grammar are terrible, and its too short. That's my honest review.

I'm sorry if I offended you, but this gets an honest 1/10, and you need to do some serious work on this story.
 
^Considering the bad guy's attitude, it's ironic the first reviewer is giving it a bad score. I like it, but only in the same way I like Half Life: Full Life Consequences and Doom: Repercussions of Evil. It's so bad it's good. You have potential, so use it. You'll get better, just keep writing this.
 
Please note: The thread is from 16 years ago.
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