LordOfTheSmeargle
Thud!!!
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2012
- Messages
- 60
- Reaction score
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I would very much prefer to get feedback on this page, but if you can't leave the feedback there, that's all right.
Just to provide a bit of visualization/imagery/whatever, Mark's appearance is based off of BW2 protagonist.
I will not update until I get at least a little feedback. So, yeah. Give me feedback. Please. Thank you.
Chapter 1
I sat on the subway bench, waiting for the Nimbasa City to Anville Town subway line to show up. Sometimes, if I was lucky, a Hiker would have a lovely Kingdra-sized candy bars that he wouldn’t mind giving me, and I didn’t even have to trade him anything.
I watched as the usual round of Trainers unboarded the subway. There was that guy with the Star pieces, a couple of Ace Trainers, a Backpacker, a School Kid, and a Hiker, who approached me and offered me a great big candy bar.
I wolfed down the candy bar and watched as the subway prepared to leave. Just before it pulled away, however, an exasperated boy, maybe thirteen, jumped off the moving train and landed flat on his face.
The boy dressed strangely, even for a Trainer. I mean, it’s not often you see a kid wearing a business-style jacket, never mind a bright blue business-style jacket. The glasses didn’t seem very thirteen-year-old-y, either. Those jeggings were probably better suited to a girl, and he had something sticking out of his head. (Oh, wait- that was his hair.)
“You all right?” I asked him, although due to the fact that my mouth was full of candy bar, it probably sounded more like “Ooh mff ermff?”
He stood up almost instantaneously and asked, “Hey, kid, have you seen a girl, yea high, long-ish brown hair tied up with a green bandanna, green glasses and a green sundress? And before you ask, she’s not my girlfriend.”
“Noff. Forryf.”
He squinted at me. “Say, kid, have you ever left Anville Town?”
I swallowed my candy bar. “Nope.”
“Well, how’d you like to help me look for her?”
“I don’t have any Pokémon.”
“I can give you one.”
“Well, um, okay.”
The boy’s gift to me was a level 5 Purrloin. “Bred from my own Liepard,” he bragged.
We boarded the next subway that came by. We weren’t even halfway to Nimbasa City when the boy facepalmed. “I haven’t told you my name yet! I’m such an idiot. I’m Cheren.” Cheren held out his hand for me to shake.
“Mark,” I said, taking it. Personally, I hadn’t expected such a rough handshake from a nerdy guy with jeggings.
“Well, I was born and raised in Nuvema Town, which you may or may not have heard of. I have three friends. One is Bianca. She’s not a very good Trainer, but she’s very sweet. Another is the Champion Hilbert. He’s the one who awakened the legendary Pokémon Reshiram and brought down Team Plasma three years ago. The other is Melinda, the girl I described to you. I met her a year after Team Plasma fell. We traveled as a Double Team. Then one day, two months ago, she vanished. I’ve been hunting for her all over this region since. And you just agreed to help me.”
“Okay, then,” I said as I unboarded the train at Gear Station. “So, uh, first looking point?”
“I haven’t fully scoured the Dreamyard yet. While I look there, you can challenge Striaton City’s Gym.”
“All right.”
Cheren let Unfezant out of its Pokéball and said, “Get on.”
“Uh, it can carry two people?”
“I think.” I got on behind him and it lifted both of us off the ground. Apparently it could.
I watched silently as the bird Pokémon carried us over the Unova region. I’d never seen anything like this in my life, except in books. After about ten minutes, we landed in Striaton City. I almost didn’t want to get off.
Cheren pointed to a building that looked like some French restaurant. “That’s the gym over there. Go challenge it.”
“But I’ve never battled any Trainers before,” I said.
“Go challenge it.”
“But-”
“Go challenge it.”
“Okay then,” I mumbled, and went to go challenge it.
The gym was, indeed, a restaurant. The first Trainer that spotted me asked if I wanted a cold drink with my battle. Her Pokémon may have been stronger than mine, but she was easy to beat. As a result, my Pokémon got stronger.
Finally, with my Purrloin trained up to level 9, I arrived at the back of the gym, where three leaders awaited my challenge.
Three leaders? Couldn’t Cheren have at least warned me about that?
“Hello, challenger,” said the one with the fiery red hair. “Don’t worry; you’ll only be battling one of us. Now, what type is your Starter Pokémon?”
“Um, Dark.”
“Dark, hmm? Well, uh, none of us have a type advantage. Guess you’ll be battling me.”
Two Pokémon against my one. It was surprisingly easy.
“You are worthy of this Gym Badge,” he said. “But you don’t have a Trainer Card to put it in.” He looked at me quizzically.
Oh, God, I thought. “I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, wait,” I said, stopping in my tracks. “Where’s the Dreamyard?”
Just to provide a bit of visualization/imagery/whatever, Mark's appearance is based off of BW2 protagonist.
I will not update until I get at least a little feedback. So, yeah. Give me feedback. Please. Thank you.
Chapter 1
I sat on the subway bench, waiting for the Nimbasa City to Anville Town subway line to show up. Sometimes, if I was lucky, a Hiker would have a lovely Kingdra-sized candy bars that he wouldn’t mind giving me, and I didn’t even have to trade him anything.
I watched as the usual round of Trainers unboarded the subway. There was that guy with the Star pieces, a couple of Ace Trainers, a Backpacker, a School Kid, and a Hiker, who approached me and offered me a great big candy bar.
I wolfed down the candy bar and watched as the subway prepared to leave. Just before it pulled away, however, an exasperated boy, maybe thirteen, jumped off the moving train and landed flat on his face.
The boy dressed strangely, even for a Trainer. I mean, it’s not often you see a kid wearing a business-style jacket, never mind a bright blue business-style jacket. The glasses didn’t seem very thirteen-year-old-y, either. Those jeggings were probably better suited to a girl, and he had something sticking out of his head. (Oh, wait- that was his hair.)
“You all right?” I asked him, although due to the fact that my mouth was full of candy bar, it probably sounded more like “Ooh mff ermff?”
He stood up almost instantaneously and asked, “Hey, kid, have you seen a girl, yea high, long-ish brown hair tied up with a green bandanna, green glasses and a green sundress? And before you ask, she’s not my girlfriend.”
“Noff. Forryf.”
He squinted at me. “Say, kid, have you ever left Anville Town?”
I swallowed my candy bar. “Nope.”
“Well, how’d you like to help me look for her?”
“I don’t have any Pokémon.”
“I can give you one.”
“Well, um, okay.”
The boy’s gift to me was a level 5 Purrloin. “Bred from my own Liepard,” he bragged.
We boarded the next subway that came by. We weren’t even halfway to Nimbasa City when the boy facepalmed. “I haven’t told you my name yet! I’m such an idiot. I’m Cheren.” Cheren held out his hand for me to shake.
“Mark,” I said, taking it. Personally, I hadn’t expected such a rough handshake from a nerdy guy with jeggings.
“Well, I was born and raised in Nuvema Town, which you may or may not have heard of. I have three friends. One is Bianca. She’s not a very good Trainer, but she’s very sweet. Another is the Champion Hilbert. He’s the one who awakened the legendary Pokémon Reshiram and brought down Team Plasma three years ago. The other is Melinda, the girl I described to you. I met her a year after Team Plasma fell. We traveled as a Double Team. Then one day, two months ago, she vanished. I’ve been hunting for her all over this region since. And you just agreed to help me.”
“Okay, then,” I said as I unboarded the train at Gear Station. “So, uh, first looking point?”
“I haven’t fully scoured the Dreamyard yet. While I look there, you can challenge Striaton City’s Gym.”
“All right.”
Cheren let Unfezant out of its Pokéball and said, “Get on.”
“Uh, it can carry two people?”
“I think.” I got on behind him and it lifted both of us off the ground. Apparently it could.
I watched silently as the bird Pokémon carried us over the Unova region. I’d never seen anything like this in my life, except in books. After about ten minutes, we landed in Striaton City. I almost didn’t want to get off.
Cheren pointed to a building that looked like some French restaurant. “That’s the gym over there. Go challenge it.”
“But I’ve never battled any Trainers before,” I said.
“Go challenge it.”
“But-”
“Go challenge it.”
“Okay then,” I mumbled, and went to go challenge it.
The gym was, indeed, a restaurant. The first Trainer that spotted me asked if I wanted a cold drink with my battle. Her Pokémon may have been stronger than mine, but she was easy to beat. As a result, my Pokémon got stronger.
Finally, with my Purrloin trained up to level 9, I arrived at the back of the gym, where three leaders awaited my challenge.
Three leaders? Couldn’t Cheren have at least warned me about that?
“Hello, challenger,” said the one with the fiery red hair. “Don’t worry; you’ll only be battling one of us. Now, what type is your Starter Pokémon?”
“Um, Dark.”
“Dark, hmm? Well, uh, none of us have a type advantage. Guess you’ll be battling me.”
Two Pokémon against my one. It was surprisingly easy.
“You are worthy of this Gym Badge,” he said. “But you don’t have a Trainer Card to put it in.” He looked at me quizzically.
Oh, God, I thought. “I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.”
“Oh, wait,” I said, stopping in my tracks. “Where’s the Dreamyard?”