EVERYONE: The Fiery Threat

[LightArrows.exe]

The Fiery Threat
The journey to the dragon tower

Chapters

Proloque: Black & White

Chapter I: The long expected parcel
Chapter II: The battle of 3
Chapter III Dog Catcher
Chapter IV: Plasma!
Chapter V: Preparations

Schedules
Unknown

Characters

Michael

Cheren and Bianca

BLACK and WHITE

Proloque​

It was a snowy day. wherever you looked at, you could only see small, white ice crystals floating down to the earth. A few people were playing in the snow, throwing snow balls and making snowman. Adults were helping the kids out. Also, there was a little competition and a snow ball tournament. People and Pokémon were having fun, while Michael was waiting till he's birthday will come. Still a few days, Michael sign't. From the beginning off December shouted how much days it was till it was his birthday.

"Stil twenty-five days and I'll be 10 and get my first Pokémon!" Michael shouted on the first of December.

After twenty-two days he seemed even more excited. "Stil three remaining days! Already get some chocolate and presents, I can't wait!!"

And the day after...

"Please, come on! Still two days! Has anyone already bought some cake? Or perhaps presents! I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE!"

When it was stil one day left, he became angry.

"Come on! I can't wait anymore! I want to get my presents and cake NOW, NOW, NOW!!"

Than finally it was the twenty-five of December.
Michael awakenend from a long slumber and got up. When he looked on his alarm clock it already was ten 'o clock. "O, no! I overslept!" Michael whispered to himself. He ran to the closet and putted on his favorite clothes. A pair of jeans, his black shirt and his favorite cap.

He ran outside and found a sticky note sayng that his mom was at the super market. He rushed out the door and ran across the icy path. It was very slippery and he fell down. After standing up he desided to walk instead of running to the super market.

When he arrived, he searched the whole shop. After twenty minutes he still didn't find his mother. With a sad face he left the super market. Outside there were several people. He walked over the fields. Suddently, two little boys walked to his way, blocking the path ahead..

"May I ask something?" The one asked.
"Ofcourse." Michael answered.
"Do you want to have a snow ball fight with us?" The sencond boy asked.
"No, sorry. I must head home." And with that answer, Michael walked past them to his home.

Michael followed the path, and on some houses already saw some Christmas decoration. On the house of some French people they even made a bord with big neon letters spelling Noël. Michael wandered forward while looking at all the decorations and reached his house.

 

[LightArrows.exe]

Chapter I: The long expected parcel

Michael was hurrying from the snowy fields a bit further from his house. Under the bridge. Afterwards a long snowy path.
He ran over the stone path, up a wooden staircase.
He unlocked the door and went inside. He threw his bag in the corner and ran to the living room.

"SURPRISE!!"
Without Michael noticing, a lot of people suddenly jumped on him. Michael felt like a flat pancake when he saw
his mom in the kitchen. He tried to get to the kitchen, but it to took al long time before he reached the kitchen.
"Congratulations", his mom said. "I'm sure you want something like.... a parcel?"
"Yes!" Michael answered quickly. "Don't worry", his mom said. "It's here, on the table."
Michael took the present, and again he must take a long time to reach the stairs.
Michael eventually reached the stairs, and ran to his room, where he got surprised by his friends.

"You're late, Michael!"
"Yeah, we waited for so long!!"
Cheren and Bianca waited in Michael's room till he eventually showed up.
"Come on guys, be patient. Here's the parcel from professor Juniper!" Michael said.
Michael placed the parcel on his desk and the three looked, as if their lives would depend on it.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Cheren said after a long moment of silence.
"Yeah, Michael," Bianca said. "Come on! Open the parcel!"
Michael slowly walked to the parcel, and opened it.

The parcel contained three Pokéballs, all shining a dazzling light.
Michael looked at the letter from professor Juniper, and threw it to Cheren. He looked at the Pokéballs and the
name and picture of the Pokémon sealed inside. He thought carefully and picked the Pokémon he wanted.
"Which Pokémon did you pick?" Cheren asked.
Michael answered: "I picked Oshawott. I'm sure we will be great partners!"
"Now it's my turn!" Bianca ran to the parcel and picked a Pokéball. "I’ll choose Tepig!"
"Why must i choose last? Cheren asked. "O well, I already wanted Snivy form the start. So now what?"

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

Re: The fire threat

It was a starting chapter, and not really much to say about the plot there.

But you should work on the style of your story, because as it stands now, no one will read it; people tend to walk away from walls of text on the internet.

You could lengthen it up a bit, and detail what the characters are feeling, as will as give some insight as to how they look. When characters talk, it should be:

"Well, where are you waiting for?" Cheren said after a long moment of silence.

"Yeah, Michael," Bianca said. "Come on! Open the parcel!"

I suggest having a look around the Workshop, and reading some of the stories with the most replies, or views, or some of the archived stories.

 

[LightArrows.exe]

Re: The fire threat

Ok, will work. Btw, the most English word are unknown to me. Because i'm Dutch. X.x

Well, i will look at other post and edit the story's.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

Re: The fire threat

Don't worry, we'll hopefully help you improve. Reading English has helped me a lot.

 

[LightArrows.exe]

Re: The fire threat

Ok, btw, could you sometimes help me with some translation? and maybe a few words.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

Re: The fire threat

Well, I don't really speak Dutch...

 

[LightArrows.exe]

Chapter II: The battle of 3

Michael, Cheren and Bianca were thinking of what to do now they've got Pokémon.
"I've got a idea!" Bianca shouted. "Let's battle!"
Cheren answered right away; "That's only causing a lot of mess, Bianca!"
"Yeah, yeah, smart guy. These Pokémon are still weak. They won't cause a lot of mess!" Bianca shouted at Cheren.
"Ok, ok, I’ll be quiet!"
Bianca suddenly pointed at Michael with a angry face.
"Well, Michael. Let us battle first!"
"Ok, we'll battle!" Michael shouted back.

Michael and Bianca both threw their Pokéballs in the air.
The Pokéballs cracked open and the Pokémon appeared in a white light.
"Oshawott, go!" Michael ordered.
"Burn them, Tepig!"
"Ok, let’s start. I’ll go first." Michael said.
"Oshawott... Uhm... O yeah, use your Pound!"
Oshawott jumped in mid-air and hitted Tepig in the face with his Pound. Tepig flew towards the closet and some drawers broke. Tepig was nearly ready to attack.
"Quick Oshawott, stop him with Tail Whip!"
Oshawott's tail began to glow and he rushed at Tepig.
"Stand up, Tepig! Counter him with tackle!"
Tepig stand up, and ran to Oshawott, hitting him in his belly.
"Ok, Oshawott. That won't matter. Quick, finish it with Pound!"
Oshawott stand up and hitted Tepig on his back. Tepig couldn’t really stand up, and Cheren flute.
"Ok, Tepig is done for this match."

Bianca seemed surprised that Michael won from here.
"How... how?" Bianca stuttered.
"O, come on Bianca! Here, I’ll heal you're Pokémon."
Cheren grabbed in his pockets and revealed a revive and 2 potions. He gave the revive to Tepig and he regained energy. Afterwards he gave him a potion.
"You're Pokémon must also be fixed up, Michael!"
He gave the potion on Oshawott and he was fully healed.
"Come on Cheren, you must also battle against Michael!"
"Well, that only sounds fair. Now i can test my Pokémon's strength! Ok, Michael. You will be my first opponent!"

Cheren threw his Pokéball and send out Snivy.
"Ok, come on! You start, Michael."
Oshawott let out a battle cry, getting ready to battle.
"Oshawott! We'll defeat him with ease!" Michael said to Oshawott.
"Well, let's start off with Pound. Keep hitting him in his face! Or otherwise his body! Go!"
"Quick Snivy, let it eat dust!"
"Oshawott, try to hit him, he will step aside!"
Oshawott ran to Snivy, and at the end he slashed right from where Snivy was standing. Michael was pretty surprised that Snivy didn't move.
"Now, counter him with tackle!"
Snivy quickly rammed in Oshawott, causing it to collapse in the wall, making a big hole.
"Ok, Oshawott, let's get ready to take the lead! Recover with Tail Whip! Make him fall!"
Oshawott jumped and his tail hit Snivy by his legs and pulled him over.
"Now in awesome speed Oshawott, use you're Pound!"
Oshawott ran up to Snivy, his eyes set on the defending Pokémon, and jumped straight towards him when the time was right. Oshawott clung on with all its power, and repeatedly used it's Pound attack on Snivy's face, who tried to shake him off, but to no avail.
By the time Oshawott removed himself from the clash, Snivy had fallen to the ground, unable to move or stand up.

"It's over..." Cheren slowly said. "Well, it seems I was the weaker one."
"See? Michael is a great trainer. This was the best match I've ever seen!"
"Come on, Bianca. The only reason you're saying that is because it's the truth!" Cheren said pleased.
"Whatever! By the way, shouldn’t we tell Michael's mother about the mess here?"
The gang looked around and saw it was a complete mess.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Cheren asked to the rest.
"How do you think I must know?" Michael said. "well, let's just go and tell."
They jumped off the stairs and saw that only Michael's mom was left in the room. The party ganger's seemed to have left.
"for who was this party?" Michael asked.
"Well, today it's my birthday! Did you forget?"
Michael could slap its head. He totally forgot that it was his mom birthday today.
"Well, why don't you guys go to professor Juniper?"
"Well..."Cheren stuttered. "We kind of destroyed Michael's room with 2 Pokémon battles."
"O, that doesn't matter. I will clean it for you."
"Great to know!" Cheren answered.
Michael, Cheren and Bianca rushed towards the door. At the parting Bianca said she must go to her home before going to the lab.
"See ya later" Cheren and Michael said in chorus.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

Re: The fire threat

I can honestly say you've improved a lot between chapter 1 and 2. Your dialogue for one is much better, and your description, while it still needs some work, is also better than before. You still need to add a bit more detail, particularly in the battles section of the story. For example:

This

Oshawott jumped right one Snivy and he Pounded several times.

When he jumped from the back of Snivy, Snivy could't stand up anymore.

Could be:

Oshawott ran up to Snivy, his eyes set on the defending Pokémon, and jumped straight towards him when the time was right. Oshawott clung on with all it's power, and repeatedly used it's Pound attack on Snivy's face, who tried to shake him off, but to no avail.

By the time Oshawott removed himself from the clash, Snivy had fallen to the ground, unable to move or stand up.

I'm not the best, but you get what I mean.

There were a few grammar and spelling mistakes, as well as some misuse of words, so I would also recommend proof reading. But as long as you keep improving, you'll be a great writer in no time! Keep it up.

 

[LightArrows.exe]

Re: The fire threat

thank you, I really need help with spelling and grammar! I will edit a few battle details.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

Re: The fire threat

No problem. If you need any help, you can ask me.

 

[LightArrows.exe]

Chapter III: Dog Catcher

Michael and Cheren felt like they were waiting for hours.
"Finally, there's Bianca!" Michael said while he pointed to Bianca.
"Well, it became time." Cheren answered angry.
"Phew, I’m here!" Bianca said.
"How long does it take to tell your parents that you may go on a journey?"
"Just don’t say a word, smart guy! You know how my parents are!" Bianca replied to Cheren's stupid question.
"Can we all just go inside?!" Michael shouted.
"We would if one of us weren't so slow." Cheren answered sober.
"Stop babbling about nothing!"
"But..."
"No, be quiet!"

Michael, Cheren and Bianca finally got inside, after a little fight.
"So, I’ll bet you guys got you're first Pokémon?"
"That's the way professor Juniper always welcomes you." Cheren whispered to Michael.
"Well, Cheren. You seem to know a lot about me. Even my assistant doesn’t know that!" Professor Juniper answered.
"Well, maybe that's because I am much smarter than them!" Cheren said bravely.
Bianca pressed her shoulder in Michael's belly and whispered: "What a big mouth for a boy that is so small!"

"Ok, let’s get to business. I want you to complete..."
"The Pokédex!" Cheren answered like this would be a quiz.
"Yes, that's right. I want you guys to complete it. Will you guys follow me to Route 1?"

Professor Juniper walked outside and Cheren and Bianca followed her.
"Michael, don’t stay long like Bianca! Au, why did you slap me Bianca?"
Michael hurried after them. Cheren and Bianca were already waiting at the start of the route. "Come on Michael, we don't want professor Juniper waiting!" Cheren said. "Well, let's go!”

They walked over the path to the thick patches of grass and there they saw professor Juniper.
"Ok guys. Want to know how to catch Pokémon to add to your team? Watch this on!" Professor Juniper walked through the thick patches of grass and found a Pokémon that kind of looked like a chipmunk.

"Ok, look! First, you must send out you're Pokémon!"
Professor Juniper threw out a Pokéball and it cracked open. In a white, bright light a Pokémon emerged.

It was grey, with big, fluffy ears. It also had a big, furry tail. It had big brown eyes and a few plucks of white fur on top of its ears and tail. It also had tiny feet and little hands. A spot on his crest seemed to have more fur.

"Ok, Minccino. Let’s show them how to catch a Patrat!"
Minccino jumped in the air and stand before the professor.
"Get ready Minccino! Let's attack him! Use you're Pound."
The pound hitted the Patrat in his stomach and pushed him backwards towards a tree. With its reflection, Patrat used the tree in advantage. With its feet he hitted the stump as he jumped. He hitted Minccino and damaged her.

"Well, I think we weakened him enough! Now it's time to throw a Pokéball!" She grabbed in her bag and revealed a Pokéball.
"Now I’m going to catch him. Pokéball, go!"
The Pokéball hitted the Patrat and he got sucked in with a red beam of light. The ball then fell, and was shaking around. After three shakes it maked a little click sound vibrates.
"See? It's pretty easy. If you catch a Pokémon, its data will be added to the Pokédex!"
"Ok, so all we got to do is catch Pokémon?"
"Well, Cheren. You could always participate in the Pokémon Leaque. That consists of eight gyms, all with their different type of Pokémon. If you defeated them all, you can take on the Elite Four. If you defeat them, you may battle the champion."
"Great, I'm going to try that!" Cheren said while his glasses reflected a bit of light.
"And now I’m getting a scared..." Bianca got frightened because of Cheren.
"Well, that will leave you to the business here. I will head to Accumala Town. That the town beyond Route 1. You guys must also come to that city!" With these words, professor Juniper left.

"Ok, let's go to Accumala Town!" Cheren said full of adventure.
"Wait, Cheren! I've got an idea. Let's do some sort of competition."
"Bianca, there isn't time for that now. Professor Juniper is waiting, remember?"
"Yeah, but this will be great for us and professor Juniper."
"Do I want to know this?" Cheren was almost ready to leave when Bianca said: "But this is a competition about catching Pokémon. Let's make some sort of race. Before you reach Accumala Town, try to catch as much Pokémon as you can!"
"Well, that does sound like fun and would help professor Juniper with here researches... Michael, what do you think about it?"
"Well, I think it would be great, trying to catch as many Pokémon's as you can!"
"Ok, we'll do it. I'm going to begin. See you guys later in Accumala Town!"
"Hey, wait for me!"
Cheren and Bianca rushed to the end of Route 1, leaving Michael alone.

Michael started searching for Pokémon. In the Package they got, it had 5 Pokéballs for each. Michael began searching in the thick grass. After a while he nearly gave up off finding a Pokémon when a Puppy Pokémon appeared.

It looked like a little puppy, with big eyes, a red nose and a cream-colered face. It's fur puffs above his claws. He also had really big, spiky ears. A short tail, that looked similar to his ears. He also had a black stripe across his back.

It sniffed around, and hitted Michael's leg.
"Aaawww, what a cute Pokémon. I'm going to catch it!"
Michael grabbed his Pokéball and threw it in the air. In a white light Oshawott jumped out the air. The Pokémon got frightened and tried to run away.
"Quickly Oshawott, hit him with your pound."
Oshawott ran after the Pokémon and seemed faster than him. When the Pokémon was in range, Oshawott hitted him with his Pound, causing him to fall down with a smack. He seemed all worned out, and Michael quickly took the moment. He threw a Pokéball, that hitted the tail of the Pokémon. In a moment of a second, the Pokémon got sucked in a red light. The ball shacked and it nearly looked as if it would break. Suddenly Michael heard a click and realized that he caught his first Pokémon.

He felt something shaking in his pocket and grabbed the Pokédex. The Pokédex said something, with a man's voice that sounded like one of the Scientist from the lab.

"It faces strong opponents with great courage. But, when at a disadvantage in a fight, this intelligent Pokémon flees.
The long hair around its face provides an amazing radar that lets it sense subtle changes in its surroundings."

When the message was done, he packed it away in his bag and picked up the Pokéball from the Pokémon he just captured.
"Well done, Oshawott! Now return."
He picked the Pokéball from Oshawott off his belt and a red light sucked Oshawott in.

Glad that he captured his first Pokémon, Michael headed to the end of the Route.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

Re: The Fiery Threat {Chapter III}

This is good, you're getting a bit of length here, and some more characterisation! I just think you should work on your grammar and spelling, such as "try'd", which should be "tried". With "few", I'm assuming you meant "phew", and there are a few awkward sentences. Why not proof-read, or use some writing program if you aren't already.

 

[LightArrows.exe]

Chapter IV: Plasma!

It was around mid-day when Michael arrived at Accumala Town. He just captured a Lillipup and was still happy of his first captured Pokémon. As soon as he arrived he already could see condominiums, very large buildings and a few skyscrapers. In the entrance, he saw Cheren and Bianca.
"there you are! Well, let's match them!"
"Ok, I've got two Pokémon." Cheren said.
"Me too." Bianca replied
"You're guys are not the only one!"
"Ok, so it's a tie!
"Well, that was fun, catching Pokémon!"
"yes, and it also helps professor Juniper in her research. Now I’m going to train them. See you later." Cheren said.
"Later!" Michael answered.
"Don't think I'll say goodbye, smart guy!" Bianca shouted.
"I actually don't want to!" Cheren shout back.

"Ok, Michael. Because Cheren decided to leave us, let's go to the Pokémon center. I thought I saw professor Juniper walking that way! Let’s go!"
Michael and Bianca headed towards the east of Accumala Town. There was a square and a park. The whole town was surrounded by trees. When they headed further they saw a big, red building.
"There it is! And look! I can see professor Juniper!" Bianca said to Michael.

"Aw, there you guys are! Wait, I'm missing someone. Where is Cheren?" Professor Juniper asked when she saw them.
"Well, he thought he was to good for a tutorial in a Pokémon center and I think he didn't really like Accumala Town."
"Well, that doesn't matter. I bet he already knows this sort of stuff. Let's go inside."

They headed inside the red building, and saw a resting place, a market and a woman dressed as a nurse behind a bar.
"Come on, let's go on."
They headed to the bar, where the nurse welcomed them.
"Do you know what's so great is with an Pokémon Center? They can restore your Pokémon for free! Come on; ask if they can be healed!"
Michael walked to the bar and the nurse asked him if he wanted to heal his Pokémon. Michael nodded yes and gave the nurse his Pokémon.
"I will heal them. Just wait a moment!"
She grabbed the Pokéballs and put them on a big, glowing machine.

It was for the most part grey, but the above part was glowing with a orange light. It had a monitor on top that wasn't on.

After all the Pokéballs were in place, she pushed a yellow button. Suddenly the machine started glowing very bright After 10 seconds of bright light, the nurse again pressed the yellow button. The flashing stopped and she picked up the Pokéballs.
"Here you are!" The nurse gave Michael back his Pokémon. "Please come back again!"

"Ok, that was the restoring section. Now let's go to the market. This way"
They walked to the market where to boys were waiting.
"Here you can buy some things that may come in handy on your journey. Well, that was everything i got to tell you! Goodbye!"
Professor Juniper headed outside and Michael and Bianca were left in the Pokémon center.
"Well, I'm going to buy some potions. Pokéballs would also come in handy..."

Michael headed outside and on the square he saw Cheren.
"Michael, come here for a moment."
Michael walked to Cheren and saw a big crowd in the square.

There was a big, green haired man on top of the hill. Also, behind him were seven man in uniforms, and on each sides were flags planted with a shield, including a big P and a thunder shock across it that zigzag through the P.

"My name is Ghetsis. I am here representing Team Plasma. Today, ladies and gentleman, I would like to talk to you about Pokémon liberation.
"Huh? What?" A few people said.
"I'm sure most of you believe that we humans and Pokémon are partners that have come to live together because we want and need each other. However... Is that really the truth? Have you ever considered that we humans... Only assume that this is the truth? Pokémon are subject to the selfish commands of trainers... They get pushed around when they are our "partner" at work... Can anyone say with confidence that there is no truth in what I'm saying?"
"Yikes! I don’t know..." A few people whispered.
"Now, ladies and gentleman, Pokémon are different from humans...
They are living beings that contain unknown potential. They are living beings from whom we humans have much to learn. Tell me, what is our responsibility toward these wonderful beings called Pokémon?"
"What could it be? Liberation?" A few people asked to each other.
"That's right! We must liberate the Pokémon! Then, and only then, will humans and Pokémon truly be equals. Everyone, I end my words here today by imploring you to consider the relationship between people and Pokémon... And the correct way to proceed. We sincerely appreciate your attention."

After the last words, two grunts picked up the flags, and stand in some sort of formation. The grunts and Ghetsis walked towards the west, and they walked to the other side of the town.

"What was that exactly about?" Cheren said. "I don't think he means this seriously. I mean, liberating Pokémon? Well, I'm not going to listen to him. I'm heading to Striaton City. You just wait, Michael. The next battle is the battle I will defeat you."

After some looking around, Cheren headed west and Michael could see him going through the port. Michael decided to look around. He sent out his Pokémon so they can also look around.

They walked to a mansion located in the north-east. Outside was a man playing music. They decided to stay and listen to the music. After six minutes, Oshawott got bored and was looking around town on his own.

After walking voor around two minutes, Oshawott got bored, but couldn't find Michael anymore. He looked around the Poké Center and at a few condominiums. He walked inside and tried to get up some stairs. After attemping for the fifth time, he gave up and searched further. He headed to the park and sat on the bench, waiting till he see's Michael.

In the meanwhile, Michael and Lillipup were still enjoying the music. Suddently, the musican stopped playing music, and he wanted to say something.
"Yo, man, did you already saw that your blue, little Pokémon got bored? He waggled to the city, man!"
"What do you mean?" Michael ask confused. He looked to the right of him, and saw that Oshawott disappeard. He could still see some muddy footprints, probaly from the fight with Lillipup.

Oshawott couldn't wait anymore, and jumped up. He ran to the port, and went through. Oshawott looked around, and he was surrounded by trees. He walked through the thick grass, hoping that Michael was looking for him here in this maze of trees. He walked a little bit further, and saw a patch of grass shaking. Curiously, he looked at the place where the grass was shaking. He looked inside.

Michael hurried through the town, hoping to find his Oshawott. He looked in al condominiums, and in the Poké Center. He also looked around the path, hoping that Oshawott was hiding somewhere out there.

Oshawott found a Pokémon. It looked like a fairy. It was pink- and cream coloured. The upper section of his face was pink, and he had really big ears. He had little, pink hands and little cream coloured feet.

Oshawott charged up to attack, and the Pokémon standed still. Oshawott charged to the Pokémon in fearsome speed. The Pokémon got hitted with Oshawott's tail. Oshawott jumped back to the place he previous standed, and charged again to attack. The Pokémon also charged up. At the same time, the two Pokémon dahed towards the foe.

Michael was still searching for Oshawott, and looked around the port. He entered Route 2 and went looking on. When he arrived at the grass patches, he saw his Oshawott and a fairy-looking Pokémon in the grass. They were exhausted. Lillipup finally caught up with Michael, and saw Oshawott. He sniffed him and afterwards he licked his nose.
Oshawott stand up, and was dizzy. When he saw three Michael's, he remembered what happened. When Oshawott and the other Pokémon charged at each other, the were both thrown at the stones that were standing at the sides from the path.

The wild Pokémon stand up, and Michael identifide it with his Pokédex.
The Pokédex snapped a picture and began searching for information;

"Audino, the Hearing Pokémon. Audino can assess a Pokémon's overall physical condition and mood using its ears." The Pokédex told.

"Oshawott, your already worn out from the battle with the Audino. Ok, Lillipup. Let's attack him! Use your tackle!"
Lillipup jumped towards Audino and hit her with his head. Audino crashed back against the tree, and struggled to stand up.
"Ok, Lillipup. hit him again!"
Lillipup again jumped and hitted him with his tackle. Audino was smacked against a tree and was knocked out.
"Ok, Lillipup! Way to go!" Michael shouted. Michael picked Lillipup's Pokéball and retreated him.

He ran across the path and came near a lot of hills. In the distance he could already see his goal for the moment. Striaton city...

 

[LightArrows.exe]

Chapter V: Preparations

Michael was near the port of Striaton City. He ran across the hills and could already see some tall buildings from Striaton City. He jumped over a log, while he was carrying Oshawott. He was nearly there...
"Hello!"
"Whaaaaa!" Michael shouted. From the shock he fell over a log and Oshawott landen on top of him.
"Oeps, sorry Michael!" Bianca said. "I wanted to surprise you."
"Well, you sure did, Bianca!" Michael shouted.
"Huh, what happenend to your Oshawott? It was Cheren, wasn't it?! Il get him and he when Michael stopped her.
"Wait, Bianca! It wasn't Cheren!"
"O yeah, your just defending him! I'm going to get him!"
"Wait, like I just told you, it wasn't Cheren! It was a wild Pokémon!"
"O, well.... Ok, I belief you. But if I ever see Cheren hurting you, I will crush him!"
"Ok..." Michael signed.

Michael and Bianca headed to Striaton city.
"First I'm going to the Pokémon center, if you don't mind." Michael said to Bianca. He searched around and eventually found a Poké center. He got inside and asked the nurse to heal his Pokémon. Michael picked Oshawott's Pokéball and it sucked him in.
"Here are the Pokémon!"
Michael gave the Pokéballs and the nurse put them on the machine. The machine started glowing and after a few seconds it stopped.
"Here they are. Please come a..."
Michael grabbed the Pokéballs and quickly headed outside.
It was dawn when he was all relaxed at the big garden, that was surrounded by streams of water.
RINNNNGGG, RINNNGGG! His X-transceiver he got from his mom around 2 years ago started ringing. He picked up the signal, and saw professor Juniper.
“Michael, are you in Striaton city? If your there, could you please say hello to Fennel? She’s a friend of mine. She study’s Pokémon behaviors.”
“Ok, I will see if I will meet her.” Michael answered.
“Oh yeah, by the way, did you already visited the Gym? Cheren said that you would participate as well.“
“I never said that!” Michael shouted. “But it sounds like fun, I will have to train before challenging.”
“Well, you do that, and see if you can see Fennel. Goodbye!”
“Bye.”
Professor Juniper hang up.
Michael walked to the city, and asked a few people about training places. He heard about the Dream World. He stopped a man that was walking in his tracks and asked:
“Do you maybe know where the Dream World is?"
"Yes, it's to the east from here." the man answered.
Michael thanked him and headed east. He came near a forest and headed in. While he was walking further through the row of trees, several eyes kept watching at him. He headed further and came near an opening. Once he got through, he could see a big building with different platforms. It seemed that everything was burned down, and there were brand marks on the floor. He was not alone. several people were looking at the factory, all from different distances. Michael looked around and saw an opening. It was closed off with a lot of branches. Michael tried to climb over the branches. He couldn't climb very good, and fell off. He called Oshawott and Lillipup.
"Ok, let's try to get rid of these branches!
Oshawott, use your Pound! Lillipup, you must use your Tackle!"
Oshawott and Lillipup both dashed to the vines, and hitted them with their attacks. The vines slammed back and the two were pushed back.
"Well, it doesn't really help. Well come back later." Michael said. He picked up the Pokéballs and called his Pokémon's back. When he turned around a girl suddenly walked to him.
"The gym is specialized in the weakness of your first starter. I will give you this Pokémon." She gave a Pokéball to Michael. "Hey, look behind you!" Michael turned around but didn't see anything. When he turned back, the girl was gone.

Michael looked to the Pokéball.
"Ok, Pokémon, get out!" He threw the Pokéball and a green and yellow colored, monkey like Pokémon popped out. It had large, green ears. It had a broccoli like form on his head. The lower halved part of his face was yellow colored and he had a little dot-like nose. Its upper body and its forelimbs were also yellow, and its hands seemed to have no fingers, aside from thumbs. His lower body was green with small feet, and its tail was tipped with two leaves. Michael picked out his Pokédex from the side pocket form his bag. He snapped a picture from the Pokémon and the Pokédex searched for the information. The Pokédex ringed and started giving the information:

"Pansage, the Grass Monkey Pokémon. Pansage offers leaves on its head to Pokémon that have low energy. The leaves relieve stress."

The Pokéball sucked him up, and Michael headed to the city. Once he arrived at the city. Just when he walked to the gym, a old man stopped him. "Wait, the gym is closed. The leaders probably visited the school. Go look there."

Michael headed to the Pokémon school. Just when he went inside, he was pushed back by three boys, that just walked further as if Michael didn't stand there. Michael headed in and saw Cheren.
"Michael, also came to learn the status alignments." Cheren asked.
"I was actually searching for the gym leader." Michael answered.
"O, they were just here a moment ago? Well, doesn't matter. Michael. Battle me!" Cheren threw a Pokéball and a cat like Pokémon emerged in the red light.

it had a primarily purple-colored body. Its head was larger than its body, and had tufted ears and cheeks. Long, tapered violet markings above its green, feline eyes extended towards its ears. Tapered whitish markings above its eyes resembled eyebrows, and its muzzle, sporting a diminutive nose, was of similar coloration. Its neck, shoulders, back and hind paws were also whitish-colored. The lower portion of its forelimbs were purple, and the tip of its tail sported a curved, vaguely scythe-like extension.

Michael picked his Pokéball and threw it. The Pokéball cracked open and in the red light, Lillipup appeared. The cat Pokémon was shocked of Lillipup.
"Don't let your guard down, Purrloin! Use your assist!"
Purrloin jumped up and a vine appeared. It slammed Lillipup and he was forced to stand back. "Lillipup, use your bite!" Michael shouted. Lillipup ran towards the Purrloin. Purrloin started running, but wasn't fast enough. Lillipup grabbed his tail, and span him around. Lillipup let go, and Purrloin flew out the doors. Lillipup ran after him and bitted him again in it's tail. Michael and Cheren followed them and Cheren rushed towards the two fighting Pokémon. "Come on Purrloin, shake him off! Use your Scratch!" Purrloin kicked Lillipup back and with it's sharp, shining claws, he scratched Lillipup. "Come on Lillipup, get revenge on him with your tackle!" Michael shouted. Lillipup recovered and ran towards Purrloin. He slammed against her with his full body. Purrloin was pushed back, and fell. He was nearly out of energy, when Lillipup again hitted it with his full strength.

Cheren got a Pokéball and Purrloin went back. "Not bad at all. Still don't think I'm so easy to defeat!" Michael withdrew Lillipup. "Ok Snivy. We'll show them!" Cheren threw a Pokéball and Snivy appeared. Michael also threw a Pokéball, which contained Oshawott. The ball clicked open and he appeared.

"Well, no it's fun!" Cheren laughed. "Ok, Snivy. Use your Vine Whip!" Snivy concentrated and suddenly three vines appeared out the earth. It tried to hit Oshawott. Oshawott ran around, trying to evade the vines. "Quick Oshawott, use your Water Gun!" Oshawott jumped and breath deeply in. As soon as he breath out, a blast of water splashed out of his mouth. He aimed at Snivy, and the Water Gun hitted him. Snivy was soaking wet and was freezing. "Ok, Oshawott. Now use your Pound!" Oshawott dashed to Snivy and hitted him with his tail. Snivy was thrown towards a lamppost. Snivy fell and the form of Snivy's body was still formed in the lamppost. He was worn out and unable to battle. Cheren withdrew him. "Well, I was the weaker one after all..." Cheren said.

"So you can still beat me. I must train harder!"
"Sure, otherwise you wont be much of a challenge!" Michael said.
"Well, I haven't go much on these berries! Do you want some?" Cheren asked.
"Of course I want some!" Cheren gave Michael a packet with a few berries. The berries were blue and round. Michael ate one.
"Hmmm, their delicious." Michael said "May I have some more!"
Cheren gave him 3 berries. "Here, thats all you'll get. Well, I'll better be going. See ya later. and don't forget, I WILL DEFEAT YOU!" Cheren shouted at Michael. Afterwards, he left. Michael headed outside, and went to the Gym.

 

[LightArrows.exe]

Just added pics of the important characters. the last two are secret, till they will be revealed in the story. Some people will also now who it will be, cause this story is BTW a bit based on the adventure in the games and the anime.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

You're getting length and more details in. This is good. But now, you need to space out your paragraphs, because some people don't like reading stories that are mashed up together hastily.

Oshawott and Lillipup both dashed to the vines, and hitted them with their attacks. The vines slammed back and the two were pushed back.

"Well, it doesn't really help. Well come back later." Michael said. He picked up the Pokéballs and called his Pokémon's back. When he turned around a girl suddenly walked to him.

"The gym is specialized in the weakness of your first starter. I will give you this Pokémon." She gave a Pokéball to Michael. "Hey, look behind you!" Michael turned around but didn't see anything. When he turned back, the girl was gone.

There are some plot holes in the story, the latest being Snivy destroying the school's floor to sprout vines. Grammar mistakes are still scattered around, but these can be worked on later. You did add some details, but you still need to add more. The battle with Cheren could have lasted much longer. Either way, keep on writing.

 

[LightArrows.exe]

Ok, and BTW, concerning Snivy, his vines comes from his shoulders. I will check grammar, and a few other thing you said.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

Do they? I was under the impression he brought them up from the ground. That's weird.

 

[LightArrows.exe]

Lol, its showed in the anime. with Snivy, his shou;ders glow and after that two vines come from the same place.