TEEN: - Ongoing The Hyena And His Demanding Cat

Palamon · Jul 3, 2026

Well, uh... how do I even introduce this without it sounding wild? Hello, this is The Hyena And His Demanding Cat aka, SoulCritters this is a story with the goal set out to satirize the tired trope that is soulmates, but platonic life animal partners. It follows one of the Siorc Ingnes in the Multiverse that is at a thankless job in a fictional town in Sweden. Everything is all the same until he one day finds his own Soulcritter, a little black cat who stands on two legs and doesn't have a tail.

...Little does he know his own Soulcritter is very demanding. And, thus begins the various misadventures between the two.

This is mostly friendly for anyone to read, but there might be some occasional cartoon violence or absurdity. Remember, this is satire.

First Critter: Little Black Cat

"Hello, I guess, whatever,
I don't know why

I have to introduce
Myself at all, but oh well, I'm

Siorc Ingne, hyena chimera,
I'm twenty four, hospitality major graduate, and
One big fixer upper
Roped into thankless jobs no one else does. I
Can't stand

It, but it makes money, I guess.
Not like it matters, I
Guess.
Nothing matters, nothing will
Ever matter. I live in Enig, Sweden near

The border of Finland in an apartment complex of
Which is managed by my older brother Pira.
Eh, like I said,
Nothing matters. Sigh, whatever,
This world is populated by humans, chimeras and demons who live in harmony,
You get the stupid utopia picture. I

Feel like I have
One more stupid thing to mention.
Ugh, do I have to? I'm
Really not much of a talker,

Haha, whatever.
Yes, there's one more component to
Everything in this world,
Now I guess this is
About to sound

Completely stupid, but
Haha, whatever,
In this world, you have something called a SoulCritter. No. Not soul
Mate, soulcritter.
Eh, so, whatever, you have a special animal you'll one day meet. And, no it's not
Ridiculous feel pain nonsense or romantic,
And if you ask that,

I'll bite you. Sigh, so

Like, all humans, demons and chimeras have one and usually find theirs
In the first twenty years of their life. But, I'm
Very late in that regard.
Eh, does

It matter? I'll
Never find this

Stupid black cat tail to the cat it belongs to,
Whatever. I'll
End up being the only person alive that
Doesn't
Ever end up finding their soulcritter. I
Need to give up. I'll be twenty five

Soon, it's all over.
I'll never find my soulcritter.
Guess that's fine, I
Have nothing

To strive for,
Haha, I'm
At a job just
To pay the
Stupid bills, barely

Any friends who contact me, so it's not
Like anything matters. Not
Like anything ever mattered,

I will die alone and

Have no soulcritter.
Ah, well! That's
Very much life.
Everything is

Nothing, I'll
One day
Turn to dust

And rot.

So why hope
I'll ever find mine? I
Never will. I
Guess I accepted it a
Long time ago, an
Eternity, if you will. I

Truly just don't
Have anything to say.
In the end, I'll
Never find mine. I
Guess aliens would

Get theirs before mine! Haha,
Obviously, aliens don't exist,
I know they would
Never land on this
Gritty planet

Full
Of pollution and
Rot. Haha,

Maybe aliens will
End up blowing up Earth

And take all
The Soulcritters with them!

Ahaha, I feel
Like I would
Like to witness that!

No, come
On, stop
That. But, I guess I feel

Like it doesn't matter.
In the end, I
Keep feeling like
Everything will rot.

I'll rot, never accomplishing anything,
The world

Might be burned
And no one will
Truly be able
To do anything,
Eh, let it
Rot. It
Should all rot."

{Humans, hear us, we are going to [INVADE.] We lifeforms from the planet [GLEOP A GLEORP A LEORP] shall come to your planet on X/X/XXXX. What day is it over there? We [DO NOT KNOW], but we are [COMING], and we shall [TAKE OVER YOUR SORRY LITTLE PLANET FOR OURSELVES.]

We have heard in the past [MILLENIA] that have [GONE BY] you [HUMANS] have [MADE YOUR PLANET INTO A BOILING CESSPOOL] and that [BOILING CESSPOOL] is becoming a [BOILING CESSPOOL] much [FASTER THAN A PLANET SHOULD BECOME A BURNING CESSPOOL!] What a shame, you are [TAKING YOUR HOME AND THROWING IT AWAY.] How could you [DO THIS?] You are making your [OWN HOME A BOILING CESSPOOL, A BOILING UNLIVABLE CESSPOOL!]

How could you do this?! You only have [ONE PLANET] as far we [LIVING BEINGS] from the planet of [GLEOP A GLEORP A LEORP] are concerned you [HUMANS HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE THE DOMINANT SPECIES ANYMORE.] So, that's right, you flesh and blood from the third planet from the sun in the [SOLAR SYSTEM THAT IS LOCATED NEAR THE MILKY WAY] you living beings [DO NOT DESERVE TO BE AT THE TOP OF THE GALACTIC FOODCHAIN ANYMORE.]

We [SUPERIOR BEINGS] from [THE MINTY BELT OUT IN A GALAXY FAR FROM YOUR OWN] will prove to you all [WHAT A PLANET THAT IS IN BAD CONDITION LOOKS LIKE WHEN TAKEN OVER BY A PLANET IN GOOD CONDITION.] You will see, you will all see! Every single one of you [FURLESS CREATURES THAT HAS DOMINATED THE MOON AND SENT YOUR SPACE JUNK EVERYWHERE] what [PERFECTION ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE.] We will give you [X] days. How many days is that? [WE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO COUNT IN THAT HUMAN ALPHABET OF YOURS] Or is it a [NUMBERPHET?] We [DO NOT KNOW]. Point is, [WE ARE COMING, SO YOU'D BETTER WATCH OUT.]

Let this [BE A MESSAGE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOMES] or else, [YOU CAN KISS EVERY MORSEL OF YOUR GOOD LIVES GOODBYE] we will [STEAL YOUR LAND, CLAIM IT AS OUR OWN] which [SOME OF YOU HUMANS ARE ALREADY DOING TO OTHER HUMANS ANYWAY.] We will make what's not yours [OURS.] So, send out your [MAGICAL GIRLS, DEMONS, OR ELECTRIC MONSTERS] at us with [ALL YOU'VE GOT.] But, [LET'S FACE IT, EVEN WTH MAGIC, YOU WILL NEVER WIN.] We are invincible, the perfect life forms.

So, [CONSIDER THIS A WARNING.] You will all [BECOME OUR SERVANTS ONCE WE ARE DONE TAKING OVER.] Yes, yes, so [SAY YOUR PRAYERS! PRAY TO WHATEVER GODS YOU WORSHIP.] Because when we're all done, [THE ONLY GODS YOU WILL HAVE LEFT TO WORSHIP IS YOUR GLEOP GLEORP A LEORP OVERLORDS THAT WILL STEP ALL OVER YOU AND MAKE YOU GIVE UP YOUR PETS!]

You have [X DAYS] we shall arrive [WHENEVER X DAYS BECOME A DAYS] is that [HOW YOU HUMANS COUNT? IN LETTERS?] We [DO NOT KNOW] but it [DOES NOT MATTER.] This is your [LAST WARNING TO CHANGE THINGS FROM HOW THEY ARE NOW!] We will give you [X DAYS!] That is right, [X DAYS.] Goodbye. Gleep glorp!}

[Current Location: Enig, Sweden in the Sweet Spot Apartment Complex.]

It had been a bright, sunny day within the chimera housing district within Enig, Sweden. The birds were chirping their little tunes like their lives depended on it, young children near the human district block were skipping across the streets with their soulcritters for everyone to see, and the demon district were ready to throw some hands with their own. But, for one particular hyena chimera, today was the same old day of nothing that mattered.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Sigh.

Slamming down the alarm clock with a loud thud had been a short, young adult feminine appearing hyena chimera individual with long, messy dark purple hair that reached to about the upper chest. Pitch black cat tail peeking out from the side of the bed, the person rubbed the purple and green mismatched eyes as they shot straight open. Oh, wonderful, it's already eight. Sigh, can the person just rot in bed for the rest of the week? Ha ha, right as if the siblings would let that happen. Time to get up, the person guesses.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Groan.

Smartphone ringing off the walls, the chimera let out a groan. Yes, yes, he knows, it's time to get ready for work. Spare the person the morning reminder for the billionth time since the individual landed this stupid dead end! Go on, keep ringing up the line and make the bill cost even more while they're at it, that'll sure teach the person the value of money. Tch, suck on a lollipop and go away.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Ugh, whatever. Fine, picking up.

Click.

"Siorc, don't ya got work in 'bout an hour? Ya'd betta not still be floppin 'round in bed!" an alto voice on the other line cried. "Do I gotta come over there?"

Mhm.

"Ya know that bossa yers ain't gonne be patient fereva!" an alto voice on the other end cried. "I'm gonna have to come over there, aren't I?"

Mhm.

"Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!" a dog barked from the other end.

[Hello, hello, this is your handy, dandy, SoulCritter to human and adjacent translator here to translate for you what this SoulCritter fella is saying! "Get off yer lazy bum, ya useless younger brother!" Okaaay, your Handy Dandy SoulCritter Translator is signing out!]

"Halen, he ain't useless, shut yer trap!" an alto voice cried. "Whateva, I'm walking, over, ya hear?"

Mhm.

Click.

Resisting the urge to bury his head in his quilt, the hyena tossed his phone across the bed. Can Varg for once in his life maybe forget to call, pretty please? How does forever sound? That's be wonderful! He's twenty four, not twelve! Groan, why did he ever move into this apartment complex? Not like he could afford to go anywhere else, but whatever. Oh, well, that's on him, he supposed. Reaching for the communication notebook, he crossed his fingers. Please, forget forget which apartment is his! Or, better yet, don't come here! Doesn't he have his own business to take of? Please do!

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

Pesky pounds on the opposite side of the door getting louder, the young adult buried his face in the covers once more. There he is. Can't everyone see he has more important things to do here? Like, he doesn't know, rotting? That sounds like a great past time right about now. Turn him into a zombie! Better yet, consider that the fourth species that exists here that can live in harmony or whatever. Brains, brains.

Yoink.

"Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!" Halen shouted.

[Hello, hello, it's me, your Handy Dandy SoulCritter translator here! What did our friend Halen say just now? I've got your back. He said, "Get up you lazy bum with purple hair!" SoulCritter translator, signing out!]

"Halen, watch yer tongue!" an alto voice shouted. "How many times I gotta tell ya Siorc ain't no lazy bum!"

Standing uninvited by his bedroom door had been a short, feminine, no excuse him, super manly and masculine hyena chimera dude that had been around the same height as him. No, sorry his bad, a tall, manly person in a short suit. Whatever. Light green hair pulled into a high ponytail, he had blue tassel earrings dangling down. Oh, great, Varg rubbing in that he's been to China a million times with other fellow translators. Smear some butter deeper into him while he's at it, why doesn't he? Pitch black belly shirt with a brown dog sticking their tongue out, his eyes matched his locks almost exactly. Large hyena spots that looked like freckles decorating his face, the chimera rolled his eyes. Does it look like he's still rotting in his bed here? He's on the floor, thanks.

Waddling on the ground on two legs had been a short black dog with a little bowtie and no tail to speak of. How did Varg end up with Halen's tail? Who knows, who cares? What breed was he? Who knows, and who cares? Rub it in he has a soulcritter while he's at it! How were Varg and he eight years apart? They may may as well have been born entire centuries apart. Stupid pup looking ready to nibble on his nightgown, he gave Varg a glare. Varg Ingne, thirty two and has a biter dog that can play guitar right alongside him! Get out of his home already, he swears.

[Why are you here, Varg? I don't need you to come here every single morning!] A page from his communication log exclaimed.

"A sure do! Yer still in yer pajamas!" Varg shouted. "Doesn't yer boss want ya out tha door by eight thirty? Yer walkin', aren't ya?"

"Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!" Halen shouted.

[Hello, hello, this is your handy, dandy SoulCritter translator here to give you the latest scoop! Halen said, "This lazy slacker gonna wait 'till the last minute to hop out the door! Let's ditch him and go play guitar! Okaaay, SoulCritter Translator, signing off!]

"I told ya already we ain't playin' guitar r'ght now, ya hear?!" Varg shouted. "An' stop calling my younger bro lazy!"

Pesky little dog nibbling on his nightgown, the young adult stood up from the dumb carpet. Alright, alright, he's getting up, okay? Can't his job just go under or something already? That'd be excellent right about now. But, how would he able to afford anything? Sigh. Next question. Not like it'll ever announce a shutdown anyway. He's stuck here for life, baby!

[Alright, alright, I'm up! Can Halen stop biting my nightgown already?!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"Halen, hop offa him! How many times I gotta tell ya t' quit bitin' on Siorc's things?" He grit his teeth.

"Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!" Bark.

[Hello, hello, hello! SoulCritter Translator here. What did Halen say? Well, he said, "His clothes are yummy! Why should I stop?" Okay, SoulCritter translator, signing off!]

"If ya don't stop nibblin' on his pyjamers, we ain't getting t'getha with th' band tonight!" Varg cried.

Stupid dog whimpering, the young adult tied the teeth hole portion into a tiny knot. Oh, lovely! Look at this beautiful new pit that Halen chewed in here! He ought to start spraying his clothes with anti dog repellent! No, better yet, maybe he should spray this entire house with family repellent! Yeah, right, like that'd ever work in a billion years. No, more like, eight billion, and an entire world reset or something.

[Can you go now? I have to get ready for work!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"I will in a sec," Varg said, arms crossed. "Yer coming ova for dinner t'night, right?"

[I don't know, I guess. Can you go now?] A page from his communication log groaned.

"Aigh, A'll go," Varg responded, heading off towards the door. "We're eatin' at 'round seven. See ya then."

Slam.

Sigh.

Door slammed shut, the young adult resisted the urge to drown back underneath his covers. Can he just rot at the park instead? That'd be great right about now. Sorry, he can't attend dinner today, he has a date with rotting somewhere. Or, maybe he'll go drown in a pool of algae while cleaning another million of those up all day long! Groan. Forget this, he needs to get ready to get out of this joint.

Doing a quick spritzing, the chimera stared at his reflection. Look at him, so pitiful and dull looking. Any duller, and he'll look like a ghost. Maybe they'll make that the fourth group of species around these parts when they discover him floating! Not. Whatever, forget all this nonsense, better put on some foundation or whatever. Groan. Reaching for some rubber bands, his long hair had soon been swallowed whole by the fabric of doom.

Hair pulled into two high buns, the young adult rose his hands in the air. He surrenders, or whatever. He is under arrest by employment! Mascara prepped up and ready to go, he clicked hairpins and earrings into place. Matching black cat set on and loaded, he rolled his eyes. As if he'd ever find a black cat of his own. That won't happen in a billion years. No, scratch that, eight billion years and a world reset. Hyena spots covered, he groaned. He didn't miss any, did he?

Light green shirt with upside down kittens and yarn all over it in a checkerboard style, the chimera slipped on a knee length dark grey pleaded skirt. Was this work appropriate? Probably not, but whatever. It's not like the boss is going to say anything anyway. Or, maybe he would. Sigh, well, fire him, while they're at it, that'd be super amazing. He'll dip into his savings to pay the bills until he gets another job, thanks.

Trudging off towards the kitchen after fighting with the comb for a what felt like a whole fifteen minutes, the soulcritterless individual gazed at his watch. Looks like he won't have time to make a meaty breakfast. His stomach is going to die by the end of today, rest in peace. Whatever. Eggs boiled over the stove, he cracked the top off. Joy, here comes the caviar, bleh. Nibbling on the creature, the hyena nearly dropped on the floor as his phone buzzed. He knows, he knows, boss, be out the door in ten minutes! Last yolk nibbled on, he headed off towards his room. Better get his bag or whatever, he guessed.

Bag slung over his shoulder, the soulcritterless individual clapped his hands together. Please, can a meteor crash down onto Fixer Upper Solutions right now and cancel work for the rest of eternity? No? Groan. He may as well go on a trip to Japan and make one! They make those there, right? He saw an anime about that once, he thinks. Gah, forget it, that's not going to happen! Can an alien invasion happen and take over instead? Yeah, right, that won't happen either. Sigh, better get going before boss texts him again.

Closing the door behind him, yet another pesky face had soon been glued to him from close by. Walking towards his door with sharp piranha teeth sticking out had been a tall hyena chimera man with short pine green hair pulled into a high ponytail. Dark blue violet eyes looking rather sharp, the fixer upper turned away. Why does he always leave home when Pira's on apartment complex patrol? Why did he move into this place again? Who knows, who cares? He can't recall anymore. Brown coat opened, that stupid white shirt with ferrets on it looked straight at him. Little light brown ferret on his shoulder as well, he wanted to bury his head in his shirt. Tch, there's Walker, too, can they both go bother someone else?

"Good morning, kiddo, heading off to work?" Pira asked.

"Walkies, walkies!" Walker cried.

"We'll go for a walk later, Walker." A sigh.

Pesky accursed kiddo coming his way for like the billionth time, the soulcritterless individual rolled his eyes up towards the sky. When will Pira stop calling him that? For crying out loud, he's going to be twenty five in around eight months! Is he really only twelve years older than him? Sometimes he wonders if he was secretly fifty. Whatever, like he'd ever tell if he was.

[Yes, obviously, I'm going to work, where else would I be going, the moon?] A page from his communication log asked.

"Do you want me to drive you?" Pira asked.

[No! I can walk, alright? Go back to inspecting the empty apartments for squatters!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"If you say, so, kiddo. See you around dinnertime."

"Walkies, walkies!" Walker cried. "Walker want walkies!"

Turning off towards the sidewalk, the chimera groaned. About time to head for work now, he guessed. Please, don't let any of his coworkers have their soulcritters with them today!

->

Reaching the outside of Fixer Upper Solutions after about fifteen minutes of walking, the soulcritterless individual stared at his watch. Wow, look at that he's, golly, two minutes before he has to clock in, blah. Maybe he should run away and come back thirty minutes late instead! Ha. Boss would probably fly around here to look for him. He's in a glass box, ready to crack.

Tiing, tiing, tiing, beep.

Stupid employee badge tapped onto the dumb card reader, the fixer upper crossed his fingers. Please, don't let boss or his coworkers have their little scamps with them, pretty please? If they do, sorry, he just remembered, he's got allergies that last forever, he's so out of here! Can he be given the pink slip forever?

"Finally showed up, huh?" a tenor voice asked, groaning. "Took you long enough."

Sitting in the corner bird feet out in the open had been a tall bird chimera man with short light greenish blue hair that had been rather shaggy. Loose strand at the top of his head, he had dark blue fish fins for ears for whatever reason. Hawk wings out and about, his red eyes were staring right into his soul, as usual. Dark maroon button down shirt with a small egg in the corner, the hyena puffed a sigh of relief. Boss Oriole didn't have his soulcritter with him, thank the heavens.

[Oh, please, boss, I came on time, didn't I?] A page from his communication log said.

"Sure, you came on time, but do you remember what job we're handling this week?" Oriole asked, arms crossed.

[Replacing, tuning, and fixing the pipes at the pool in the middle of Demon Junction?] A page from his communication log asked.

"That's right! And what happens if we're late in the Demon Junction?" His arms were crossed.

[The demons will summon pepper thunder salts?] A page from his communication log asked.

"That's right. And you don't want that to happen, now do you?"

[Why do we have to treat the pools anyway?] A page from his communication log asked.

"What is the name of our business here?!" His tone was annoyed.

[Fixer Upper Solutions?] A page from his communication log responded.

"That's right, so go get your hat and get ready to hop into the truck, chop, chop!" Clap, clap.

Dragging himself towards the back room, the fixer upper wanted to bury his face into a hood forever. Oh, lovely, going straight to Demon Junction today! Why can't the demons, he doesn't know, clean the pools themselves? First off, pool season is going to be over pretty soon, and second, what is the point of installing a new pump when it's probably going to break again anyway? Whatever, he's not a demon, who cares? But, yawns soon interrupted his train of thought immediately.

"Pool treating today, can you believe it?" an alto voice asked.

"Oh, I believe it alright!" a slightly deep voice cried. "Boss really has to take every single fixer upper people call him for! Bet if he was told to go tear down the cellphone towers and have us build a new one, he'd make us do that, too!"

Slamming a cupboard closed in the corner had been a tall sheep tiger chimera woman with long black hair pulled into a high ponytail and blonde highlights in the middle of her bangs. Dark red apron draped over her white shirt, her eyes were a mismatched blue and red. Permanent sour look on her face, the chimera puffed a sigh of relief. Rhodette didn't have that pesky lemur with her today. Please, never bring him here again.

Looking about ready to fly away to parts unknown had been a tall dude with two white moth wings with orange spots, and a set of orange moth wings with black spots. Goat horns on the top of his head, or, maybe they were demon ones, he didn't know, his pitch black suit looked like it was going to melt into the floor boards. Shiny, short black hair with bronze bangs that were covered in hair gel, the curly locks beneath his pointy ears were almost glittery as well. Let him guess, that dumb unipuppy of Kokon's did that? Please, don't let them fly around here today.

[I know, right? Why can't the demons just do it themselves?] A page from his communication log asked.

"Good morning, Siorc, when did you drop by?" Rhodette asked. "We have to leave in a few minutes, you know!"

[Relax, I'm here, aren't I? Just me.] A page from his communication log said.

"Are you hinting at what I think you're hinting at?" Kokon asked.

[No? As if I'll ever get a soulcritter of my own. Where are yours?] A page from his communication log said.

"You really think I'm going to take Desiree to the pools in Demon Central?" Rhodette asked. "You can forget that!"

"And, you know how Quari gets when we're near water, or did you forget again?" Kokon asked, arms crossed.

[Whoops, looks like I forgot again, silly me! Do we really have to go over to Demon Junction today? Why couldn't we have gone to some party hall and helped out with some summer gathering or something?] A page from his communication log asked.

"You're seriously asking that right now?!" Kokon cried. "Who holds parties anywhere at a time like this?!"

[The humans?] A page from his communication log asked.

"You know the humans host their parties at night," Rhodette said, shaking her head. "Now, come on, we have to go. Demon junction wants us over there in an hour."

Honk, honk.

Groan.

Honk, honk.

Stupid horn given another toot, the fixer upper was about ready to rip his hair out. Alright, alright, he's going, he's going. Please, don't let Oriole's soulcritter be waiting for him in the company van. For once in his life, can there be none anywhere within his vicinity whatsoever? Yeah, right, like that'll ever happen. He bets Demon Junction will be littered with them also. Ugh. Plopping into the backseat, pesky noise had soon came his way.

"What's took you three so long to get in here?!" Oriole cried. "You know what happens when we're late to Demon Junction, don't you?"

"We know! They'll throw down their pepper thunder salts!" Kokon cried. "Does it matter? I can make them completely and utterly useless, you know!"

"Your powders don't do anything!" Rhodette cried.

"They so do!" Kokon exclaimed. "You just haven't seem them in action yet!"

"Less talking, more seatbelt put oning!" Oriole cried.

Click, click.

Seatbelt plopped down, the fixer upper placed his hand on the side of his cheek. Here comes the most awful, nonsensical job on the market. Seriously, who has chimeras fix the pools in Demon Junction?! Does boss seriously have to take whatever job people give him across Sweden? Tch, he bet if the CEO allowed it, they'd expand their business over to Norway and Finland, too! Sorry, he hasn't learned Finnish yet! Consider him way too busy rotting to ever so much as consider it! Blah, blah, blah.

Spotting kids hopping across the street with this soulcritters aplenty, the chimera wanted to glue his eyes shut. Oh, wonderful, it's playtime! Can the children just go back to their classrooms for the rest of the morning and never return? Tch, even seven to eight year old gremlins had theirs already. Guess he's going to be forever alone, whoopie!

Sky getting a little grey, the chimera crossed his fingers. Please, cancel this entire job for? Forever will do! Come on, rain, drop on down. Drip, drip, drip? Sigh, no? No, he sees. Human hands transforming into hyena paws as he thought such, he placed his hand on the window. And, that kid is going to be thrown into a bubble, and that one, that one, too.

[Current Location: Demon Junction in South Enig, Sweden.]

Watch beeping the hyena held in the urge to groan. Pesky ten o'clock alarm. He swears, his boss must have set that to keep him on his toes! He shouldn't have ever given him the master key to throw schedules into that thing. Hmph, whatever, not like he can revoke it even if he tried, groan. First pool glaring at him, he gulped. Is there red mist in the air? Sure looks like there might be.

"Remember, be nice to the demons," Oriole commanded in a serious tone. "You know what happens if we're not."

"Yes, yes, we know! They'll sprinkle down the pepper thunder salts!" Kokon shouted. "You think we don't have brains in our heads or something?"

"Sometimes, I think you lot don't! Now, let's go to the meeting room and say hello." There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Ugh.

Hopping out of the company truck, the hyena crossed his currently human fingers. Please, don't let the demons give him any funny looks! He knows they can smell people who don't have soulcritters, but don't call it out, okay? He knows he's a pathetic excuse, but keep their craws to themselves about it, thanks. Meeting room soon reached, he gulped. Don't say anything. Don't say anything, don't say anything about you know what.

"You finally decided to show your sorry faces around here!" a strong, imposing voice shouted. "You're all just asking me to clap down some pepper thunder salts down, aren't you?"

"Heh, heh, heh!" a dark purple heart winged bat creature cried.

[Hello, hello, it's me again, your friendly good old SoulCritter translator! What did our bat critter say just now? They said, "Look at the pieces of scum, they're scared!" Okay, translator, signing out!]

"Oh, Heartykins, they should be scared of us!" the demon at the counter cried.

Dark green haired horned man with bat wings behind the counter stroking his soulcritter's cheek, the fixer upper grit his teeth. Oh, awesome, there it is, their soulcritter. Reading the demon's name tag, he sighed. Olympusa. Do they even know what they name means without the a attached? No, of course they don't. Whatever, better scribble down a quick apology, blah.

[We're sorry if we didn't show up twenty minutes early. Traffic was pretty bad on the way here! We'll drain the pools of their dirty water and fill them up at half the price you normally would pay if it'll make up for our tardiness!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"Sniff, sniff, is that soulcritterless I smell?" Olympusa asked. "Is that a soulcritterless I smell?"

"Hehe he he he!" Heartykins cried.

[Hello, hello, it's me again, the SoulCritters Translator. What did our buddy say just now? Well, look no further! They said, "Look at this loser who's soulcritterless! Pay him only one quarter of what we normally would! Soulcritter Translator, signing off!]

"No, you must be mistaken!" Kokon cried, eyes wandering. "We left our bunch home today!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's right! We uh, didn't want them falling into the pool!" Rhodette shouted. "You know, danger and stuff?"

"Oh, really now?" Olympusa asked, eyebrow rose. "Okay, maybe I believe you. Now, go drain the pool and install the pump in the closet, chop, chop! The kids are coming by early today!"

"You heard him, go!" Oriole cried, snapping his fingers.

Finger snap coming his way, the young adult made a run for it. Ugh, can this day just rot already? Better yet, can it sink to the bottom of the ocean? That would be awesome right about now! No? Well, whatever. Running towards the closet, the chimera stared at every nook and cranny. Where's the button to turn the equipment off again? Oh, right, it's over here, sigh. Here goes nothing, he guessed. Or, here goes everything? Who knows.

Staring at the old pump in the corner, the chimera groaned. Why does that thing look like it's extremely close to fall apart and unleashing monsters out into the open? He doesn't know. Maybe it's holding dangerous gases that'll implode the entire world! Don't demons swim in lakes full of acid sometimes? Probably. At least, he heard that once. Maybe.

Water dying a miserable death, the young adult's eyebrows twitched. Oh, great, look at all that disgusting debris! What are the demons keeping down here, a leaf collection? Better get to cleaning the pits of the underworld right about now before it's too late, sigh. Swimming pool brush out, he hopped towards the bottom. Please, don't let the pipes need to be cleaned too.

"Man, this pool is dirty, maybe I should have brought Quari with me after all," Kokon sighed.

"You really think Quari can use that horn of theirs and make all the dirty gunk go away?" Rhodette asked, lowering her eyes into a squint.

"Point taken." A shrug. He then turned towards Siorc. "Siorc, how's you end going?"

[There's leaves everywhere! They're in the pipes, too!] An electronic voice shouted through his smartwatch.

"Ugh," Rhodette cried. "Seriously?! Do the demons even maintain their pools?"

"You really want to know the answer to that question?" Kokon groaned.

"Guess not. Well, let's scrub this clean then install the new pump so we can fill this thing."

Every single nook and cranny swept away after who knows how long it was, the fixer upper groaned. Install the new pump this, seriously, why couldn't the demons have done this themselves?! Party of three hauling the old one off into the truck, the shiny new one was soon in its place. Blah, blah, blah, go get the hose and fill up the pool! That demon had better not come out of their hole to say that right about now.

Checking the pipes one last time, the fixer upper wanted to burn his brains straight out of his head. Just how much junk was in these things? Better treat these before filling this thing with water. Demons, he swears, they're getting on his last? Never mind, he doesn't have any nerves left to give them, they already got on the last one hours ago!

Summer fun monster soon filled, it was off to the next dungeon, excuse him, pool center within Demon Junction. Winged fiends sniffing him, the soulcritterless individual was ready to blow a gasket. Stop, stop, stop the noise! Whatever, work with a smile, giggle! Multiple pipes busted, he resisted the urge to push himself into the dirty pool. Someone, end all of this right now before he does it!

Five looming around, the chimera sighed. He's not going home on time today, is he? May as well just forget having dinner tonight. Whatever. Conundrums taking over multiple places, screams had launched themselves up to the sky. Who keeps their fish soulcritters in the local pool?! Demons, he swears, they just adore doing whatever they want however they choose!

Final pool done and dusted, the party of four returned to the truck of doom. Back at Fixer Upper Solutions, he gazed at his watch. Groan, it's almost six. Can he just swipe his badge out for the rest of eternity? No? Of course not. Those bills are going to drown him with overdue fees if that happens, sigh. Putting his hat back into his box, boss flew towards him.

"Good work today, goodnight," Oriole said, bidding farewell.

[Goodnight. See you the day after tomorrow.] A page from his communication log said.

Slam.

Exiting the prison, excuse him, headquarters, the young adult trudged off towards the park. Plopping himself down on the swing, he stared off into space. Another day, another day to rot. Dropping himself down on the grass beneath him, he closed his eyes. Perhaps he'll live at this park instead, zzz. Bye, don't wake him.

->

[Current Location: Sticky Park in Enig Sweden at around nineteen thirty six o'clock.]

Blinking awake, the fixer upper rubbed his eyes. Did he hear a familiar voice just now? Looking up, the young adult groaned. Ugh, what's Pira doing here? Can't he see he's trying to rot here? What time is it? Oh, close to eight, whatever. Sigh. How did he even find him here? Who knows, who cares?

"Kiddo, let's go home, everyone's waiting for you," Pira said in a quiet voice.

"Dinner almost coldie!" Walker shouted.

[No, let me just rot here.] An electronic voice said through his smartwatch.

"You can't sleep at the park like this, what if someone finds you and takes you in for questioning?" Pira asked.

Remaining on the ground, the young adult sighed. Can't he just rot here forever? He'll even buy a tent and hide by a bush! Camping, woohoo! Camping out here for all eternity! No job, no bills, no soulcritters to get in his way. Just, bush, bush, bush. Bush all the way, baby! Just let him sit here, it's not like it matters if he's at the dinner table.

[I think I'll move into the park, thanks. Let me rot here.] An electronic voice said through his Smartwatch.

"No can do, kiddo," Pira said, shaking his head. "If mother and father heard you type that, they'd have a heart attack. Let's go home."

[It's not like they'll ever be returning from Russia, so who cares what they think?!] An electronic voice shouted through his smartwatch. But, a sigh had come his way.

"Look, kiddo, I know that job of yours puts you through the wringer, but, you have a nice warm apartment waiting for you. So, let's go." His voice was stern.

Ugh.

He just can't win, can he?

Lifting himself up from the crunchy grass beneath him, the chimera rolled his eyes. Whatever, fine, he'll go back home, but if Natalie and Coiote yap about their soulcritters, he's excusing himself forever! Dragged off towards the pesky Property Manager ritzy dining room, he turned his head off towards the window. He's here, can he go back home now so he can rot?

"Did ya manage to find him?" Varg asked.

"Woof, woof, woof!" Halen shouted.

[Hi, hi, your fellow SoulCritter Translator here, what did Halen say just now? Why, he said, "Little lazy loser probably rotting at a park somewhere!" Okay, Soulcritter Translator out, peace! Gonna grab a bite to eat!]

"Varg, can you please tell your darling Halen over there to watch his mouth?" A tenor, but gentle, feminine voice asked.

"Wan, wan!" A poodle barked.

[Hi, hi, your fellow SoulCritter Translator here. What did that poodle say just now? Well, she said, "Yeah, simmer down!" Okay, SoulCritter Translator out, peace!]

"There he is!" An alto voice said. "What kept you, Siorc?"

"Working, Swork was working!" a little monkey cried.

"Well, yes, we know that, but not this late, Soiree." A headshake.

Petting a little pink poodle in the corner of the room had been a tall, feminine hyena chimera with light purple hair pulled into a large side bun. One singular heart shaped earring on their left ear, they had violet paws with claws. Dress the same shade as her hair, on the side had been a sewed on poodle patch. As usual, Natalie has to incorporate little Opalene into every aspect her brand. Whatever. How was she ten years older than him? He'll never have the answer to that question.

Sitting at the main chair in the middle of the dining room had been a short hyena chimera woman close to forty. Excuse him, a young spry lady who definitely was almost thirty. So, ridiculous, he swears. Why does Coiote care so much about a number? Light purple hair a curly mess, her ponytail looked like it could use a million years of brushing. Brownish red shirt cut at the bottom with a tiny monkey in the center, her eyes were the same color as her locks. Teeny monkey with dark chestnut fur next to her, he rolled his eyes. Oh, look, it's Soiree! The shopaholic! He's surprised these two could make it!

[It's not like I came here by choice, just saying.] A page from his communication log said.

"Let me guess, tough day on the job again?" Coiote asked.

"Swork's job toughie!" Soiree cried.

"It very much is, I'd say." She sighed. "I'll heat up the stew."

Meaty stew placed in front of him, the young adult attempted to wolf it down as fast as he could muster. Well, that was tasty better return home! Ha ha, as if he could leave before everyone else is done. Blah, blah, don't be a party pooper, or whatever. He knows, okay? Maybe, anyway. Can he rot in his bed now forever?

"So, how's the boutique goin', Nats?" Varg asked. "Anyone buy any dresses fer their soulcritters?"

"Going pretty good, why, I think we might sell out on our soulcritter fits pretty soon, actually!" Natalie cried. "Right, Opalene?"

"Wan, wan!" Opalene cried.

[Hi, hi, SoulCritter Translator here! What did Opalene say? She said, "Business booming!" Okay, bye, bye!]

"So, how's your job going, dearie?" Natalie asked Varg.

"Oh, ya know, demons and humans always askin' me to translate this and that," Varg said, shrugging. "Is yer mall doin' aight, Coiote?"

"Going okay, though, Soiree wants to buy out the entire store," Coiote sighed.

"More clothes!!" Soiree shouted.

"You can have two treats per month, alright?" Coiote groaned. She then turned towards Siorc. "So, Siorc, how's the fixer upper business going?"

Pesky question coming his way, the chimera pushed his plate away from him. Sorry, he just remembered, he has to go rot in his apartment right about now! Can he go? No? Sigh. Whatever, scribbling away, his pen almost snapped in half. Why waste their time asking such a pesky question? She knows the answer already!

[You know how it's going. The same as always.] A page from his communication log responded.

"Dear, what do you mean by the same as always?" Natalie asked.

"Jobbie go boomie!" Walker cried.

"Walker? We have talked about this many times, we do not say boomie at the dinner table," Pira said, sighing. "Let's stop asking him questions for now." He then stepped up from the table. "I'll take you back to your apartment kiddo."

[No need, excuse me.] A page from his communication log responded.

"Ah, dearie, wait, before you go, we need you to go to the meat market tomorrow, is that okay with you?" Natalie asked.

[Fine, whatever, I'll go. Goodnight.] A page from his communication log responded.

Slam.

Dragging himself back to his apartment, the chimera plopped himself face first onto his bed. Ugh, why did he move into this stupid apartment complex in the first place? He should have just gone to Russia with mother and father after he graduated from school. Whatever, too late for that now. Television turned on, he glued his eyes to the thing until he dozed off.

Ring, ring, ring, ring.

Alarm blasting through him off towards the early afternoon, the fixer upper groaned. Does he have to get out of bed? Can't he just rot here? A million texts racing his way to remember to go to the meat market, the hyena let out a scream. Alright, whatever, he'll go! Light purple dress with black cat heads on it, his tail twitched from behind him. Oh, great, it's a scorcher out there, isn't it?

[Current Location: The Meat Market in Central Enig, Sweden.]

Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow.

Hearing a mewing somewhere close by, the young adult shook his head. What, is it kitty alley day or something? Ha, forget it, he'd better enter the store before Natalie texts him a thousand more times or something. Aisles filled to the brim with humans and their accursed soulcritters, he resisted the urge to put ton a blindfold. Go away, just, fade into the sand!

Staring at the sausages, the chimera placed his finger on his chin. Was this enough for the five of them? Excuse him, nine of them? No, he's going to have to buy six whole packages, isn't he? Groan. Cart soon filled, he placed his hand behind his ear. Why does those meows sound like they're waiting for him? Forget it, keep shopping and focus.

Checklist three quarters of the way done, the young adult tried to not pull his hair out. Can whatever is meowing shut their mouth? He's trying to shop here! Sigh, how much more does he have to get? Oh, right a couple of duck steaks, or whatever. Better get them and hit the road. Many plopped down into the basket, he raced off towards checkout. Creatures plopped down into the bags, he raced out of that joint. Whelp, time to go home, he guessed.

Mrow, mrow, mrow mrow.

Mrow, mrow, mrow!

Groan.

Meows getting louder, the chimera groaned. Alright, fine, he'll go see what's up, alright? Quit mewing! Trudging off towards an alleyway, a sight to behold soon caught his attention in the corner. Large box with the words take me home crudely drawn on it, he soon peered down at the contents from within it.

Mrow, mrow, mrow!

Oh.

Wait a second.

Cut. Is that?!

Sitting in the box had been an awfully small male back cat with huge lavender eyes like no other. Circular eyebrows above him, his top paws looked like they were meant to be hands. Skinny body with three pawed feet beneath it, a spark popped through him. Wait a second, hold on, this cat doesn't have a tail! Could this mean?

"Mrow, mrow, mrowwwwwww!" the cat cried.

[Hi, hi, hello there, your friendly neighborhood SoulCritter Translator here. What did this poor, poor, unnamed Black Cat say just now? Well, he said, "You have my tail!" Okay, gotta dash!]

Tears streaming down his face, the world was ready to flood. Wait a second, did this thing just say he has his tail? No, he didn't right? He had to have been mistaken. Little kitty looking like he hadn't eaten in who knows how long, his heart fluttered. What is this spark he's feeling? Could it be, he's the one? No, that couldn't be it, right?

"Mrow, mrow, mroooooooooooow, mrooooooooooooooow!" the black cat shouted.

[Hi again, it's me, the SoulCritter Translator. What did our friend here say just now? Well, he said, "Please, take me home! You have my tail!" Okay, I'm off, buh bye!]

Opening up the empty shopping bag, the chimera ducked down. Should he really be doing this? Maybe he didn't find the one after all? How is he supposed to know if he did?! Ugh, whatever. There's no time for questions, any second now, and it's going to rain. Tapping his smartwatch, he crossed his fingers.

[Come on, get into the bag.] An electronic voice said through his smartwatch.

"Mrow, mrow!" The black cat cried.

[SoulCritter Translator here! What did the Black Cat say, well he said, "It's mine now!" Well, bye bye!]

Black cat hopping into the bag, the hyena closed his eyes. This little fella could use a bowtie, maybe. Ugh, no time to think about that! He has to head home now! Running back towards the apartment complex, he quickly dropped the meat off at the property manager building. Dragging himself back to his own, he plopped the kitty down onto his bed. Staring off into space, questions flowed through him.

So, he has a soulcritter now, maybe.

Why does he feel like there's something strange about this fella?

Agh, no, come on be happy about something for once in his life!

Closing note, this was something I almost didn't want to post here. I don't know how many people will read a satirization of soulmates, but? It is what it is, we're here now. This will be 26 chapters and an epilogue, so, enjoy I guess? You don't have to read any of my prior works to enjoy this, it's separate. Next week, the plot continues. Bye for now.

Palamon · Friday at 8:25 AM

Second Critter: Cheeky Orange Lynx

"So, I guess I do have a soulcritter after all.
Or, do

I? I understood what the cat was saying, I

Guess he could be.
Ugh, after all this time, huh?
Eh, does this change anything?
Simply put, no. I
Suppose I have a soulcritter, but that's

It. That's all. I still

Have my dumb job,
And I
Very much still have to
Earn my keep,

And every

Single day I have to hope
One bill doesn't hike in costs.
Ugh. Well, it's not
Like it matters. So, it was a black

Cat after all. He's male,
Rather small.
I guess I'm not that
Tall myself,
Though. Not like I
Ever was, I was called a
Runt by humans while in school. Sigh,

Not like any
Of that matters now.
Whatever. I

Don't know where to begin. For
One thing,

I expected to go my

Full life not
Ever getting a soulcritter.
Eh, it's not
Like I know for certain this cat is

Absolutely the one.
Not
Yet, anyway. I

Don't have the foggiest of an
Idea. I could have just picked up a
Foul stray
For all I know.
Eh, it is what it is. I'm
Rather on the fence that he's
Even truly my soulcritter. I have
No idea where
To begin if he is.

Not sure where to begin if he isn't, either.
Oh, well. I

Need to ask Pira.
Or not, I am sure
That he'll find out

Anyway. He knows everything. Or, Varg will
Take a moment

And blab to Pira.
Look, Pira
Literally finds out everything anyway. I

Basically can't
Ever hide a
Thing from him. He's
The property manager at the
End of the day. Sigh. I
Really shouldn't have moved here. Not

Like it matters now!
Ah, well,
That's how the cookie
Ended up crumbling,

The cookie
Has cracked
And it'll
Never be whole again.

Not like it
Even matters at this point, but I am
Very sure the
Evening my brothers and sisters find out about this cat they'll be up my
Rump to ask

Never ending questions.
Okay, one, I have no idea. Don't ask.
Two, I found him in

Some box, and
Ugh, three, I don't know! No
Repeat questions!
Eck, I wish I could go

And move out, not

Like I can,
Obviously.
This is the only place I

Will ever be able to afford!
I'm drowning in bills! Not
Like I'll ever not be, so it's not
Like I

Can get out of
Here.
Ah, well.
Now, I have
Got to figure out what to do about this cat.
Even if he isn't my soulcritter

Or something, I
Have to do something

With him, right?
Eh, I have no idea.
Let's start
Light."

{Humans, hear us, were are going to [INVADE.] We lifeforms from the planet [GLEOP A GLEORP A LEORP] shall invade your planet on X/X/XXXX. What day is it over there? We [STILL DO NOT KNOW], but we will [BE COMING] and we shall [TAKE OVER YOUR PLANET AND MAKE IT OURS.] Why, [YOU ASK], we have [MANY REASONS AND WE WILL OUTLINE THEM RIGHT NOW.]

First off, we have heard for the past [MILLIONS OF YEARS] that [HUMANS ARE VERY MEAN TO EACH OTHER.] That you [HUMANS WILL ATTACK EACH OTHER OVER WHO BELIEVES IN GOD THE BEST] or [WHO IS THE SUPERIOR KIND OF HUMAN.] Which, we as aliens from a [SUPERIOR, MUCH KINDER RACE] think that [YOU HUMANS SHOULD BE NICER TO EACH OTHER] and so we will [INVADE YOU TO MAKE YOU BE NICER TO EACH OTHER.] You will be [MADE TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER AND HOLD HANDS IN A CIRCLE AND SING A SILLY SONG.]

How could you be mean to one another? Why would you [ATTACK ANOTHER HUMAN] just from being different from [ANOTHER HUMAN WHO] just how happens to [HAVE A DIFFERENT WAY OF LIFE FROM YOU] or [BELIEVES IN A DEITY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU DO] or [MAY HAVE VARIOUS DIFFERENT OPINIONS FROM YOU.] We are quite astonished by [THE AMOUNT OF VIOLENCE YOUR KND HAS COMMITTED AGAINST ONCE ANOTHER] over the past [MILLIONS OF YEARS] we do not get it [YOU ALL ARE JUST WELL ADVANCED APES WHO SOMEHOW HAVE A HOLD OVER SOCIETY.] So, we have decided that [YOU DO NOT DESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE AT THE TOP OF THE UNIVERSE ANYMORE.]

We [SUPERIOR BEINGS] from a battle planet [HAVE MADE THE DECISION THAT WE CANNOT SIT BY AND WATCH WHILE YOU ALL GO AT EACH OTHER'S THROATS.] Where is the peace? Where is the unity? We thought you human valued [INDIVIDUALITY, BEING UNIQUE AND SPECIAL] even though [YOU ARE ALL BASICALLY JUST EVOLVED APES WITH SLIGHTLY MORE DEVELOPED BRAINS THAN THE AVERAGE ANIMAL.] You may have discovered fire, how to make tools and speak with your mouths, [BUT YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY CREATURES IN THE UNIVERSE TO DISCOVER THAT VERY THING.] So, [PREPARE YOURSELVES. SEND YOUR MAGICAL GIRLS, DEMONS, OR ANGELS] after us because [YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO DEFEAT US.] We are the most powerful beings in the universe there is!

So, [LET IT BE KNOWN THAT WE ARE GOING TO BRAINWASH YOU ALL!] You will be [MADE TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER.] Do we have to power to brainwash you humans? [WE THINK WE DO HAVE THAT POWER, MAYBE.] Do we? [DO WE HAVE THAT ABILITY I THINK WE DO, LAST TIME WE CHECKED, I BELIEVE THAT IS VERY POSSIBLE WITHIN OUR POWERS.] We will stop all those [POINTLESS VIOLENT ATTACKS YOU COMMIT ON ONE ANOTHER.] No more [ARMIES.] No more [WEAPONS.] Just [HOLDINIG HANDS IN A CIRCLE AND SINGING A SILLY TUNE AND GOING LA LA LA LA LA LA.]

And, just so you know [WE WILL TAKING YOUR PETS, TOO.] We hear that you humans are sometimes [MEAN TO YOUR PETS AS WELL.] So, we will be [TAKING THOSE FROM YOU AS WELL.] So, you'd better all be prepared to [SURRENDER, AND NO, WE WILL NOT BE TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER.] You humans seem to think [THAT BEING MEAN TO YOUR OWN KIND ISN'T ENOUGH, SO YOU TAKE IT ON THE POOR, POOR, INNOCENT ANIMALS THAT LIVE AMONGST YOU.] Well, [NO MORE, ENOUGH IS A ENOUGH.]

You have [X DAYS] we shall arrive [WHENEVER X DAYS BECOME A DAYS!] We still [DO NOT KNOW HOW EXACTLY IT IS YOU HUMANS COUNT] but mark our words [WE ARE VERY CLOSE TO FIGURING OUT YOUR NUMBERPHET, MAYBE.] This is your [FINAL WARNING TO PLAY NICE WITH ONE ANOTHER, OR WE WILL ARRIVE AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT.] We will give you [X DAYS!] That is right [X DAYS.] Goodbye to you, mean humans. Gleep glorp!}

[Current Location: Enig, Sweden, In the Sweet Spot Apartment Complex.]

Staring at the small black cat currently seated on his bed as the late evening rolled around, the sea of questions had once again come back from the grave. Is this really his soulcritter? Maybe he had made a mistake. Surely, he had to have a tail somewhere! Studying the fellow for a moment longer, the fixer upper observed in silence. Maybe it's tucked between those legs of his!

No tail of any sort, the chimera gazed at his own. Alright, little black cat, it's time to fess up! This is his tail, isn't it? So, what now, does he want it back or something? Haha, right, as if he could just make this thing fall off and transplant it back, not happening! Big light purple eyes locking onto him, that spark from within popped off again. Could this kitty be his soulcritter after all? Agh, how should he know!

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the black cat shouted.

[Hi again, it's me again, your lovely, amazing, awesome, super duper handy dandy SoulCritter Translator! Aren't I the most amazing translator you've ever seen! I sure am! I sure am! What did our friend, the unnamed black cat say just now? Well, he said, "Why are you still looking at me like that? I'm hungry, feed me!" Okay, tootles! And, remember, I'm the best SoulCritter Translator ever!]

Little black cat holding his stomach, the hyena groaned. Why wouldn't he be staring at him? Hello, he's looking for a secret tail here! He's got to have one somewhere! Sigh, forget it, he should probably go to a local food store and get this guy something to eat. But, what? What time is it right now? Pulling his phone out of his back pocket, his eyes were glued to the numbers.

Twenty hours glued to him, the cat tailed individual sighed in tedium. It's almost dinnertime already. If he goes out now, Pira will probably hunt him down and drag him to the property manager building. Aren't all the soulcritter food stores closed by now anyway? Agh, what should he do at a time like this?! Oh, he knows, maybe he can ask the neighbors? Ick, no way, why would any of the chimeras open their doors and let him borrow their food? Not happening.

Pacing around the room for a moment, the chimera pondered. Maybe he can just make his own food for this fella instead? But, he shook his head at such. Like that would do him any good! As if he even knows the first thing about cat nutrition! What's he going to do? Maybe he can give this guy some leftover dinner or something? They're having duck steak tonight, right? Well, probably. Would he be allowed to eat that sort of thing? He doesn't know, agh!

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the little black cat shouted.

[Hi, hello, sup, what's poppin'? Your Handy Dandy Super Useful And Beautiful SoulCritter Translator here! What did the poor, poor, unnamed black cat say just now? Well, he said, "You'd better give me food, peasant! You hear me?! Okay, SoulCritter translator out, peace! I need to get dinner myself!]

Word peasant coming his way, the hyena gave the cat a glare. Excuse him, what did this kitty say to him just now? Peasant, peasant? Who does he think he is?! First off, there's no caste system here! And, second, the kingdom humans that run this place hardly even look their way! Ah, forget it, he's not going to entertain this for a moment longer! Scribble, scribble, scribble.

[First of all, I am not a peasant. And, second, I am thinking of what to feed you, alright? So calm down, would you?!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the little black cat screeched.

[Hello, hi, it's me again, the SoulCritter Translator! What did our pal say just now? Well, I'll tell you! He said, "I'll call you what I want, peasant! Feed me!" Okay, that's all, bye bye!]

[I told you already I'm thinking about what I can feed you, so give me a little while, alright?!] A page from his communication log shouted.

Smart watch beeping, the young adult let out a groan. Ugh, there goes the dinner alarm. Can he just skip that forever? He swears, Pira probably set that alarm on purpose! He'll eat leftovers in the fridge for the rest of the summer, thank him very much. Now, if this alarm will excuse him, he has more important issues to fry here.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

Pesky racket on the opposite end, the hyena let out a tired sigh. Oh, great, here he is, Pira. He swears, if he's even a few minutes late to dinner, he's right outside ready to come in and pounce on him! Can't he see that he's sitting here, pondering? He'll eat leftovers in the fridge for the rest of his rotting days, thank him very much!

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

"Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!" Halen barked from the opposite side.

[Hello, hello, hello, munch, munch, much, wooh, scuse me, us SoulCritter Translators here gotta eat too, ya know! What did our named friend say just now? Oh, I'll tell you! He said, "You lazy bum, open up this door right now!" Yup, there you go! Now, I'm going back to my dinner now, buh bye!]

Noise on the opposite end only getting louder, the fixer upper resisted the urge to hop out the window and make a run for it. Why does everyone always have to drag him back to that stupid property manager building every single day? He should have never moved into this place! The second he has enough money, he's outta here and moving to? Well, he doesn't know, he hasn't thought about that yet, probably! Maybe. Ugh, fine, he'll open the door. Click.

Pira and Varg waiting for him on the opposite end of the door, the cat tailed individual let out a barely audible sigh. Look who's here, the uninvited guests to the party! Pesky black dog hopping straight towards him, his earrings had soon been nibbled on. This pest, not again! He ought to buy dog repellent! No, scratch that brother repellent too, while he's at it. Ha, like that'd ever work at any given point, as if.

"Halen, how many times am A gonna have t' tell ya t' stop bitin' on Siorc's things?!" Varg cried in an annoyed tone.

"Woof, woof, woof, woof!" Halen shouted.

[Munch, munch, munch, wooh sorry 'bout that! Me again, the SoulCritter Translator! What did Halen say just now? He said, "I'll eat this lazy slacker's earrings all I want!" Okay, peace!]

"If ya don't knock it off, we ain't practicin' guitar afta work tomorra, got it?!" Varg's tone was urgent.

Pesky dog hopping off of him, the even more annoying obstacle's eyes wandered towards his bed. Eyes glued to the little black cat, the hyena prepared himself to cover his ears. Oh, great, here it comes. Blah, blah, blah, so he's found himself a soulcritter, blah, blah, blah, he found the cat that his tail belongs to, bleep, bloop, bleppo. Don't say anything at all, thanks, he's good.

"So, you found your soulcritter, kiddo?" Pira asked.

"No tail! No tail!" Walker shouted.

"You're right, he doesn't have a tail," Pira said to Walker. "Where'd you find him?"

Sea of unneeded questions floating his way, the fixer upper's eyebrow twitched. Oh, lovely, here come the millions of questions! Can an alien invasion just happen and kidnap all the thirty somethings men across the entirety of Europe and toss them back out unable to ever ask any inquiry of any kind for the rest of eternity? Yeah, right, like that would ever happen. Whatever, if he answers his question, will he put a cork in it? Scribble, scribble, scribble.

[How am I supposed to know if he's my soulcritter?! Look, I found him in a box by the meat market and decided to take him home because he said I have his tail, or whatever! Which, I'm starting to think might have been a bit of a mistake!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"Did ya feel anythin' when ya saw him?" Varg asked. "Lika spark?"

Question coming his way, the young adult blinked. He felt a spark, right? Quick, come on, tried to remember. Film reel in his brain, play back! Ah, yes, there it was, the scene of the crime when he found this guy! Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, you have my tail, take me home! Pop, pop, pop. Well, he supposed he felt something, maybe. Who knows?

[I did feel a spark, I think.] A page from his communication log responded.

"Well, I guess he's the one then, kiddo," Pira responded. "Congratulations. So, have you thought of a name for him yet?"

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the little black cat shouted.

[Heya, me again, your lovely dovely SoulCritter Translator! What did our unnamed friend say here? Well, "Peasant's family, feed me! I know you got the goods!" Okay, bye, bye, gotta dash!]

[I haven't thought of one, alright?! I'll think of one tomorrow before I leave for work! Can you stop asking me questions?! I need to think of what this guy can eat!] A page from his communication log exclaimed.

"I'll order a rush delivery of food for you in the morning, for now, he can eat with us," Pira responded. "Come on, kiddo, it's time for dinner. I made the duck steak you brought home."

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the little black cat shouted.

[Hello, hello, your awesome super cool SoulCritter translator here! What did the little black cat say? He said, "You'd better feed me thirds or fourths, peasant's brother! Okay, tootaloo!]

Grr.

This little!

Trudging off towards the property manager building, the young adult crossed his fingers. Please, don't let Natalie and Coiote be back from work yet. The mall's open until nine, right? And, Natalie had a lot of back orders to deal with, didn't she? Pretty please, don't be here! Extra pairs of eyes wandering towards him, he sighed. They're here, alright, how lovely!

"Swork here, Swork here!" Soiree cried.

"I can see that, Soiree," Coiote said, yawning. "How much longer until I have to go back to work?"

"I thought you get an hour, dearie," Natalie said.

"I do, but sometimes I have to go back early when it's busy, you know?" A yawn.

"Swork got new friend! New friend!" Soiree shouted.

"Wan, wan!" Opalene exclaimed.

[Hi, hi, your friendly SoulCritter Translator here! What did Opalene say? She said, "Friend, friend!" Okay, bye bye!]

Buzzing nonsense ready to throw him up a wall, the young adult seated himself furthest from everyone else. Oh, wonderful, they all already saw his possible soulcritter. Incoming, a million questions! Can he just eat his duck steak and rot in his bed until morning? Thanks, he'll do that in three, two, one. But, as he prepared himself to chow down, an entire portion of scraps had been wolfed down, in seconds.

"That little one sure is hungry, dearie," Natalie said. "So, what's your soulcritter's name?"

[I haven't thought of one yet.] An electronic voice said through his smartwatch.

"That's a shame, dearie, you should think of one soon," Natalie said between bites. "This fella looks like he could use a cute little bowtie that goes with his eyes! Why don't you swing by my shop tomorrow?"

[I have work tomorrow. You know that.] An electronic voice said through his smartwatch. Can he just, he doesn't know, melt into the floor? Thanks.

Biting into his duck steak, the young adult groaned as the huge purple eyes looked straight at him. Alright, alright, fine! He can have a little more, got it? He'd better hurry and eat his portion before he doesn't have any more for himself! That's definitely about to happen, isn't it? Probably, eyes glued to him, he lifted himself up from the table.

Excuse him for a second, let him breathe here.

->

Stepping outside for a brief moment, the young adult resisted the urge to run back to his own abode. He swears, everyone is going to be up his rump even more now, aren't they? Can he move out of this joint and live in a tent at the park? Yeah, right, like Pira would ever let him do that. Better head back inside before he gets more questions tossed at him.

Duck steak nibbled on, the young adult wondered. A name, what's something he could call something he can call this kitty? He's black and tiny, and looks like he could use a bowtie or seven, maybe. Hmm, Tux? Mr. Tux? Ah, no, that's a ridiculous name! This critter will probably call him even worse names if he gave him that.

"Ya doin' aight now?" Varg asked. "S'rry we know we're asking ya allota questions an' such."

[I'm fine. Can I please finish my dinner and go back home? I have work in the morning, you know.] An electronic voice said through the smartwatch.

"Siorc, you know, if I were you, I'd probably take off work tomorrow," Coiote said between bites. "You should get your little critter here parts for a cat house and bed to sleep on! Don't you have some vacation days left?"

[It's not like I ever take off work. Do I look like I can afford that?! I have bills to pay, you know!] An electronic voice said through the smartwatch.

"I know, I know, but you got to take care of your companion, you know!" Coiote shouted between bites. "Oh, I know, you should join a SoulCritters Support Group while you're getting the hang of all this!"

Support group brought to his attention, the chimera almost dropped his fork. Is she really suggesting that right now? He doesn't believe he asked for her opinion right about now. But, they're probably going to bite his ear off until he agrees, aren't they? Sigh, of course they are, what else is new? Why did he move into this apartment complex again?

Chatter going on and on about joining a support group, the fixer upper nibbled on his bread. Blah, blah, blah, he could use some tips from others! Count him out. What's next, he could use some friends! As if. Will those pay the bills? Of course they won't. Don't make him laugh. There's no way in a million years he's going to join one of those things! Finishing his meal, he cleaned his plate. Quit talking his ear off already!

Dragging himself back to his apartment, the young adult flipped on the television. News about flying saucers spotted, the chimera laughed. Can aliens abduct all the older brothers and sisters in the world? That would be amazing right about now! Tch, like aliens are actually real. It was probably a stupid drone shaped like one or something.

Flopping around on the couch, the hyena tried to think. Alright, a name, what's a good name for this guy? He probably should think of one, right? Ugh, why is the only thing he can seem to think of Mr. Tux? There's no way this little fella is going to approve of that! Agh, forget it, like he's going to think of anything else. He may as well not even waste his time!

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the little black cat cried.

[Yawn, oh, hi again, zzz, it's me, the SoulCritter Translator! Back here again fresh off the presses! What is this not yet named little black cat asking, you say? Well, he said, "Where's my castle?!" Okay, SoulCritter Translator signing off!]

Castle brought to his attention, the young adult rolled up into a ball on his couch. Looks like he's going to have to go shopping tomorrow, again! He swears, he doesn't have time for this! Better text his boss and say he can't come into work tomorrow, tap, tap, tap, and send. He is so getting a cut out of his salary for this. Yawn, forget this, he's going to bed.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Smartphone alarm ringing off the walls, the fixer upper groaned. It's morning already? Yes, yes, he knows, any second now and someone is going to come stomping towards his door, don't remind him. Little black cat, excuse him, Mr. Tux, ugh, there it goes, the name already stuck in his memory, claiming the pillow next to him as his own, he sighed. He should probably go to the SoulCritter department store and get this fella a bed to sleep on. Kitty's eyes shooting open, his pajamas were soon tugged.

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" the little black cat, excuse him, Mr. Tux, shouted.

[Yawn, good morning, it's me again, your friendly, totally not cranky at six in the morning SoulCritter Translator. I never get any time off, I tell ya! What did our friend Mr. Tux say just now? He said, "Peasant, I demand you get me a castle right now!" Okay, yawn, back to sleep for me, buh bye!]

Cries coming his way again, the young adult buried his hands in his face. Yeah, yeah, he heard him the first few times. He'll go to the store today and get him one if he can find one! Sigh. Can he go back in time and make it so he never, ever found this box in the first place? No? Of course he can't, whatever. Better just get him something to call his own.

[Alright, alright, I'll be going to the store and get you some things, alright, Mr. Tux? Now, please, stop asking about it!] A page from his communication log cried.

"Mrow, mrow, mrow?" Mr. Tux asked.

[Hi, hi, yawn, your lovely SoulCritter translator here! What did Mr. Tux ask? Well, he asked, "That's my name?" Okay! Your pal is signing off here, buh bye!]

[Yes, that's your name! Sorry if it isn't good enough for you, your royal highness!] A page from his communication log exclaimed.

Flipping on the television, the chimera sighed. Looks like it's going to rain this evening. He'd better get shopping earlier today before the downpour can show up and ruin everything. Maybe he should have gone to work after all. Tch, too late for that now, he already took the next few days off! Whatever. Knock soon eating his door, he stepped towards the door. Let him guess, the food was here, whoopee.

"Morning, kiddo, the cat food's here, I'll put it in a basket for you," Pira greeted. "Do you want me to drive you to Natalie's boutique?"

[I'll walk, thanks.] A page from his communication log responded.

"You sure? You'll probably be coming home with a lot of stuff." His voice was stern.

[I'll get a ride back, alright? Don't worry about me, I'm an adult now, you know. And, besides, don't you have to, I don't know, look after the apartment complex like you're supposed to?] A page from his communication log asked.

"Well, alright, kiddo, but make sure you call me if you change your mind," Pira responded. "I'll pick you up right away."

[No need. Can you please just put the food in a basket and go? I want to get ready.] A page from his communication log said.

Cans of food plopped into a basket, the young adult slammed the door shut. He swears, he's going to be seen as the baby of the family for the rest of his life! Whatever, not like anything is ever going to change in that regard. Sigh, better fill up a bowl with this stuff. Cranking the manual can opener, the brown chunk of meat mix plopped itself into the metal bowl. Plopping it on the kitchen table, he yawned. Better hurry up and get ready for the day.

Doing a quick spritzing, the cat tailed individual wondered. What else should he buy besides a cat castle? Well, maybe he should get a small bed, too? Some toys? Probably. Will he have enough for that? How much spending money does he have left this month? Who knows? His bank account's looking like it's about to hit single digits soon, he bets. Sigh.

Light purple black cat dress slipped on, the chimera reached for two scrunchies. Hair pulled up into two heart shaped buns, the black cat hairpins and earrings had been clicked into place. Maybe he should buy some more clothes for himself while he's at it. Ha ha, like he'd ever have enough for that. He hardly had any fun money to his name at this stage. Ha, as if he ever would.

Wolfing down a meaty bowl of oatmeal, the chimera yawned. What time is it? It's only seven thirty. Can he maybe go back to sleep for the next decade? Not happening in this lifetime. If only he could catch some zzes for the rest of his life. Ha, whatever, may as well play a good old game of Flower Chess Battles until the SoulCritter Emporium opens, yawn.

[Current Location: Enig, Sweden at the Sweet Spot Apartment Complex at around nine twenty in the morning.]

Stepping out the door, the fixer upper tried to recall, where is Natalie's boutique again? Oh, right, in the western shopping block straight in the middle sector between the human, chimera and demon sectors, he almost forgot. He should probably get going now before a crowd swallows up the entire world. Should he bring Mr. Tux with him? No, probably not. Isn't it too early to be carrying him around like a trophy? Slipping a note underneath Varg's door, he cracked his knuckles. Well, he'd better get going.

Spotting cat eared kids on the opposite side of the street giggling with their pals, the young adult sighed. Alright, maybe he should have brought Mr. Tux along with him. Too late for that now, he guessed. Whatever, next time, he guessed. Crossing at the corner, he let out another yawn. How much longer until he reaches that shopping center? Not too long from now, probably. Better speed up a bit.

Human kids at the park across from him playing frisbee with their critters, the young adult wondered. Should he buy something like that for Mr. Tux? Ugh, no way. He'd probably ask for something much more luxurious, or something. Probably. Who knows? Sigh. Is he going to survive until next week? Nope. He's going to have to get used to not having any cash to spare for breakfast for awhile, oh well. His fault, he guessed.

Reaching the parking lot, the fixer upper tried to recall. What was the name of Natalie's shop again? Oh, right, Miss Opalene's Favorites. How could he forget that annoying moniker? He swore, ever since Natalie blossomed from womanhood with a little bit of secret sauce every single day of her life, Opalene was her little princess. Whatever, in he goes. Please, don't be head cutting with activity!

Oh, it was head cutting with activity, alright.

Customers and their soulcritters littered everywhere, the hyena almost wanted to turn around. Why are there so many people here already? They only just opened! He may as well just kiss a bowtie or seven for Mr. Tux goodbye! Well, that settles it, he's going back home, forever. So long, Natalie, he wasn't even in here.

Aisles looking about ready to fill up, the young adult turned his head off towards the SoulCritter Clothes section. Section flooding, the hyena's tail drooped. Great, there's no way he's going to be able to get over there now, he may as well just wave the white flag and turn around! Can he just order everything online and call it a life? Yeah, right, like that's going to happen. If Natalie found out about all that, she'd inspect the quality of everything he purchased and have it sent back. Groan.

"Wan, wan, wan, wan!" Opalene barked, hopping up and down.

[Hi, hi! It's me again, your lovely dovely SoulCritter Translator here to report on what Opalene was saying just now. She said, "Your brother's here, your brother's here!" Okay, I'm out! See ya, peace!]

"Opalene, darling, can you point him out to me?" Natalie asked, rubbing a nail filer over the tip of their nails. "We're pretty swamped you know!"

Hop.

"Wan, wan, wan, wan!" Opalane barked, hopping!"

[Hello, hello, hello, your friendly SoulCritter Translator here! What did Opalene say just now? Well, you really don't need me to tell you that, do you? She said, "Over here, over here!" Okay, see ya!]

Dress wearing poodle hopping next to him, eyes were glued to him. Haha, did he look weird in this dress or something? He really should have just, he doesn't know, shopped online! Ha, too late for that now, his hands are tied. Great, now the entire world is going to know he's the owners sibling! Can he rot now? That's be lovely.

"Siorc, dearie, come to the counter," Natalie said. "I've got a few things for you to choose from."

[But what about the line?] A loud electronic voice screeched through his smartwatch.

"Oh, don't worry about that, just come behind the counter!" They curled their fingers.

Heading behind the counter, the young adult's eyes wandered. Oh, lovely, look at that, everyone's eyes are glued to him. Blah, blah, blah, why does he get to cut the line? Sorry, he's not even here right now! Leave a message after the beep. Beep, oops, sorry, mailbox full! Never call this number again, bye!

A whole ton of kitty clothes laid out in front of him, the cat tailed individual studied them for a brief moment. Multitude of little bowties locking eyes with him, he wondered. Which one screamed Mr. Tux the best? Light purple one practically shining, his eyes shimmered. This is the one! It's gotta be this one! Slipping it into his hands, he gazed at everything else for a second.

Little shirts, and tiny little tuxes, the young adult shrugged. He supposed he'll get about seven of those for now. Sigh, there goes his fun money for the rest of the month. No, scratch that, the rest of his life. Sigh. When does he have to pay the next set of bills? Next week, if he recalls correctly. Groan, well, better take out his bank card and hope for the best. Sigh. But, a hand had soon been placed over his wallet.

"Ah, don't worry about paying, dearie, I already swiped," Natalie said, plopping everything into a bag. "There you go, all bagged for you." She then paused for a moment. "By the way, Coiote's going to take you to the support group tomorrow morning, okay?"

[I don't need a SoulCritters support group, Natalie!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"Nonsense, dearie, you should meet some new people, don't you think?" A giggle.

[I can take care of Mr. Tux myself, thank you very much! Thanks for the cat clothes, I'm going now!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"Coiote will be at your door by eight tomorrow, see you later!" A wave.

Moving through the streets, the chimera groaned. He swears, everyone thinks they can make his schedule for him! He should have just gone back to work tomorrow. Too late for that now, he supposed! Sigh. Forget this, it's about time he goes to the SoulCritter Emporium. Dragging himself through the streets, the large, intimidating store soon waited for him. Well, here goes nothing.

->

[Current Location: SoulCritter Emporium within the human sector of Enig, Sweden at around eleven in the morning.]

SoulCritter Emporium filled to the brim with people, the hyena nearly fell onto the ground. Okay, wow, why are there so many people here? Two, why are there so many castles here, and three, how is he going to be able to afford all of this?! Is he going to have to use some of his emergency krona? No, if he did that, Varg would definitely be up his rump about it, better not. Moving towards the SoulCritter Castle corner, he crossed his fingers. Please, don't let this cost him an arm and a leg! Red haired human walking towards him, he groaned. Please, don't let these cost ten thousand kronas!

"Hello there, Hyena Lass, what can I do for you today?" the red haired human asked.

Lass coming his way, the young adult resisted the urge to giggle. Uh, did it get a little more sparkly in here just now? Stop it, Siorc, focus! Turning his smartwatch screen on, he typed away. How does he say this without sounding like he's strapped for cash here? Think, think, come on, use his brain, think! Oh, that will do, alright.

[Yes, hello, I'm a new SoulCritter Bondee, and I'd like to get my companion a castle. He's a small black cat that walks on two feet. What would you recommend? And, I'd like a bed he can sleep in if that's alright, too? I'm new to this, so please, anything you recommend would be lovely!] An electronic voice said through his smartwatch.

Oh, no.

That isn't a good face.

"Of course, of course, hyena lass, I have just the thing for you!" the red haired human exclaimed. "But, first how big is he?"

[He's pretty small, and I don't think he's going to grow all that quickly. If I had to estimate, maybe fifteen centimeters.] An electronic voice said through his smartwatch.

"Oh, lasise, do I have the perfect castle for you!" the red haired human shouted.

Oh, no.

That definitely isn't a good face.

Large, dark purple cat castle locking eyes with him, his eyes swam over to the price tag. Woah, excuse him, how much, sorry what?! Eight thousand kronas? Ah, why does he feel faint all of a sudden? So much for being able to eat breakfast for the next few weeks. Scratch that, forever. Ah, maybe he can haggle a little? Placing his hand on the side of his hair he tapped away.

[Oh, gosh, mister, this one looks lovely! But, I'm super new to this, you know? Gosh, I think I might have to go to a new bondee store down the road and give them my business. I'm so confused!] An electronic voice shouted through the smartwatch.

"Woah, woah, lassie! Please, don't go anywhere!" the red haired human shouted. "How about we take off eighty percent and I throw in a cat bed for free?" He waved his hands in the air.

Sweet.

[I'll take it, then.] An electronic voice said through the smartwatch.

"Is there anything else you need, lassie? I'll throw in anything else you want, no charge!" Beep, beep, beep. "If not, that will be one thousand kronas!"

Card tapped onto the device, the chimera let out a yawn. Better head home now and put this thing together. Trudging back through the path, he groaned. What time is now? Oh, sigh, fifteen o'clock. Maybe he should have ordered a ride. Too late for that now, better set up the castle before a certain somecat is up his rump about it.

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" Mr. Tux shouted.

[Hi, hi, me again, your friendly SoulCritter Translator! What did Mr. Tux say? Well, he said, "Give me my castle, now! I know you have it, peasant!" Okay, bye, bye!]

Kitty looking about ready to hop into the box, the chimera groaned. Alright, alright, he's going to take it out of the box in a second, can everyone hop off of him forever, maybe? Thanks. Groan. Plopping the cat bed down beside his own, he took out the cat castle box. Reading the side, he tried to not fall straight onto his rump. Uh, excuse him must be completely assembled by hand? He's going to be here forever!

Plop.

Parts dropping down on the floor, he read the instructions. Click the parts into place? Thanks, piece of paper! Which goes into which? What is he, building a tent? He may as well have been! Hours going by as the parts came together, his eyes grew heavy. He put everything in the right slot, right? Please, tell him he did. He is so not taking this thing apart! Placing it in the corner of the room, Mr. Tux soon approached it.

Sniff, sniff.

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" Mr. Tux shouted.

[Hello again! It's me again, your lovely SoulCritter Translator here! What did Mr. Tux say just now? Oh, I think you know! But, okay, I will do my duty like I'm supposed to! He said, "This castle isn't big enough, peasant! Go get me the biggest one!" Okay, yawn, bye! Can I get a vacation pretty please?]

Arm folded into a fist, his tail coiled around him. Excuse him, not big enough, not big enough?! This thing at normal price costs eight thousand kronas! Oh, he'll give him not big enough alright! No, stop, deep breaths. It's fine, maybe he can buy a second one at some point down the road. Keep it down a bit.

[You'll have to make do with this right now! I don't have unlimited money!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow!" Mr. Tux shouted.

[Hi, hello, tired SoulCritter Translator here! Mr. Tux said, "You'd better get me a bigger one as soon as possible, peasant! Your money is mine!" Well, gotta dash!]

Going through the clothing bag, the chimera reached for the little purple bowtie. Slapping it on, he scribbled on the name Mr. Tux around the center. If he doesn't like this little thing, tough, because it's staying on until he takes it off! Black kitty hopping into the castle, he crawled into his own bed. What time is it? Oh, ten. Sorry, his bad, looks like he missed dinner, goodnight, zzz!

[Current Location: Freshly Hatched SoulCritter Bondees Support Group in Enig, Sweden at ten in the morning.]

Coiote plopping him in front of the Support Group office the young adult groaned. As if he needs to be here. Please can he just rot in his bed until he has to go back to work tomorrow? Ha, too late for that now, there she goes. Pressing on towards the door, he cracked his knuckles. Here goes nothing. Let this be the one and only time he's ever here.

Finding himself in a large circular room filled to the brim with chimeras, the young adult's eyes wandered. There's no humans or demons in this room, is there? Phew, what a relief. Sinister looking smirk soon coming his way, he broke into a sweat. Uh, can he go home, please? Nope, if he texts Coiote now, he would most certainly be told he's staying for the whole thing. Whatever.

"Hey there, fresh meat!" an oddly familiar voice cried out to him.

"Fresh meat!" a soulcritter cried.

Standing in the center of the room had been a tall lynx chimera person with blond hair pulled into two high braids. Pointy ears on the top of their head, their blue eyes looked rather familiar. Orange shirt with spots on it, their blue pants were rather baggy. Orange lynx sitting in the chair next to them, he gazed at their nametags. Naofa and Jor, the lynx. He sees. Huh? Weird, he think he went to college with them.

Sitting in the seat next to them had been a slightly shorter dark skinned jackal woman with long sky blue hair pulled into a high braid draped over her shoulder. Pitch black shirt with hearts on near the chest area it slightly exposing her stomach, her pants were the same shade. Mismatched light blue and orange eyes, next to her had been a little brown prairie dog with the nametag Ola. Aega underneath her chair, he scratched his cheek. A prairie dog can be a soulcritter?

Very short rat woman with short chestnut brown hair barely even noticeable on the chair she was sitting on, the chimera studied her nametag. Krysi, huh? He sees. Blue winter outfit on her, her eyes were almost the same shade as her clothes. Grey mouse almost about half her size, he read the critter's name tag, Zane? He believes that what that said.

Standing looking like he thought he was the most important person in the room had been a short young adult penguin guy with golden blonde hair pulled into a high ponytail. Penguin crests looking about ready to catch on fire, he had been rather fancily dressed for a support group. Blue suit with a golden bowtie, he almost tripped on the ground at the sight of his soulcritter next to him. Koro the dolphin, the dolphin. What's a dolphin doing here?! How is it alive?! Gazing at the other guy's name tag, he broke into a sweat. So, this guy's name is Prinz, he sees. But, uh, hi, hello, a dolphin?! What's up with that, huh?! Whatever, better introduce himself, he guessed.

[Yes, hello. My name is Siorc, and I recently found my SoulCritter, he's a small black cat named Mr. Tux, and I don't know the first thing about what to do to get to know him better.] A page from his communication log cried.

"Are you serious, flea?" Naofa asked, laughing. "What did you live under a rock your entire life, or something?"

"This dude lives under a rock!" Jor shouted.

"Naofa, stop, maybe he lived on the side of Enig that doesn't really teach all that much about SoulCritters," Aega said, hands up in the air.

"Yip, yip!" Ola exclaimed.

[Hi, hi, it's me again, the SoulCritter Translator! Okay, so. This is what Ola said, "Please, be gentle with our new member! He's here for the same reason we are!" Okay, translator out!]

"Uh, well, to be honest, I didn't know much either before I met Zane, after all," Krysi said, voice shaking. "Um, over in Russia, they don't really, you know, teach us about that stuff. They act like everyone already knows it, and stuff. Right, Zane?"

"Squeak, squeak!" Zane squeaked.

[Hi, hi, your fellow SoulCritter Translator here! What did Zane say? Honestly, you don't need me for this, but he said, "That's right!" There you go, okay, I'm off, tootles!]

"Okay, that might be the case for you, flea, but it's not the case for any of us!" Naofa shouted. "Right, Prinz?"

"I ask you not to rope me into your unintelligent ramblings that are egregiously incorrect in order to get a rise out of me," Prinz said. He had a heavy British accent evident in his voice. "I don't know the next thing about SoulCritters. That's why I'm here. Which, might I remind you, I took time out of my precious study time for upcoming exams for this."

"My man is at the top of all of Sweden!" Koro exclaimed.

"Tch, whatever you say, cockroach!" Naofa shouted at the top of their lungs. "You Brits should stick your tongue in your tea and burn them off!" They then sighed. "Fine! Well, I guess I have one suggestion with you! Take your soulcritter to a cat café and pamper him like he's a little king! And, I don't know, have him meet other cats or something!"

"Fresh meat needs to meet fresh meat!" Jor exclaimed.

"That's right, fresh meat needs to meet fresh meat!" A smirk painted their face.

Cat café brought to his attention, the cat tailed individual, blinked. Uh, sorry, what? What kind of advice was that? He doesn't get it. But, it's not like he had any ideas. Where were there any around here? Ah, right, there might have been one or two in demon junction, maybe, at least, last time he checked. Should he really go there? Why does he feel like this would be like stepping on a hundred needles barefoot?

"Wait, Naofa, you're forgetting an important question," Aega said, hands up in the air. "What is Mr. Tux like?"

[He acts like I'm a peasant, and he wants everything that I can't give him like he's some kind of king!] A page from his communication log shouted.

"Oh, no," Krysi said, shaking. "You might want to take him to The Queen's Litter, then. I took Zane there, he had fun there, right?"

"Squeak, squeak!" Zane shouted.

[Hi, SoulCritter Translator here! What did Zane say! He said, "I guess!" Okay, buh bye! I got a show to catch!]

"What do you mean, you guess?! Don't say that, you know you had fun!" Krysi cried. "Um, the SoulCritter Cafe palace isn't um, just a cat café, by the way, but they'll you know, turn it into one just for you if you reserve in advance and stuff. I say take him there."

"Are you serious right now? Do you actually thing that demanding little cat will be satiated with such a gesture?" Prinz asked. "Laughable!"

"What a despicable notion!" Koro shouted.

[It's worth a try, you know. I guess I'll book an appointment on my next day off.] A page from his communication log said.

"We'll help you book it right now if you want, we'll help you with the phone call." Aega took the phone off the hook.

Hours spent discussing things further, the late evening rolled around. Family dinner droning on and on, the chimera dropped down onto his bed. Please, can anyone just, let him breathe for two seconds, maybe? No? Whatever, ugh. Zoning out as the television played in the background, one last thought dragged him to sleep land.

Guess he's going to the cat café at the end of the week.

Will this even matter at the end of the day? No, probably not.

Is this a teeny, tiny bit of a ridiculous and absurd story? Yes, indeed. And is it told through a cynical lens? Yes, yes, it is. Also, sorry about the absurdity that is the alien invasion. Next week will be continuing the early plot and will be at the cat café, I suppose we'll see how that plays out.

TEEN: - Ongoing The Hyena And His Demanding Cat

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