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The Others Island

Cabaret

I feel so much spring...
Joined
Jul 15, 2010
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This is just a prologue to a big story I'm trying to accomplish in chapters. It's not quite everyones taste, it might be panned by some people for the descriptions of pokemon in the future, butI'm confident it'll find a group of people who enjoy it. After all "I'd rather be nine peoples favorite thing, then a hundred peoples ninth favorite thing."

The Others Island-Prolouge

" A few years ago, a pokemon named Porygon was being transported to a uncharted island, to live with other of it's kind, little did it know that others of it's kind meant something else..."

"What's it like?" asked Porygon, the ambiciously nervous pokemon, standing on the deck of the ship that was carting them off to Others, as they
called it.

"It's kind of a mythical place, the kind of place you hear about in books, a place you won't see until I too, and then-." the Trapinch hesitated

"What?" questioned the Porygon, but it was too late, they could see the island in the distance. It was the most astounding sight to behold...
 
It sounds interesting so far. I love porygon, and I'll be reading. :)
 
Thanks, I'm still getting the minor details worked out for the first chaper in order to start writing, it's going to be a very weird idea for pokemon writing, but thats the point.
 
I, on the other hand, would rather be a hundred people's ninth favourite thing if their favourites list is 100 long.

This first little part was too short. I mean, it is a prologue, but it seems like it's supposed to actually lead into the first chapter. Prologues that do this should be a bit longer.

And how can a Porygon be "ambitiously nervous"? Just asking.
 
I, on the other hand, would rather be a hundred people's ninth favourite thing if their favourites list is 100 long.

This first little part was too short. I mean, it is a prologue, but it seems like it's supposed to actually lead into the first chapter. Prologues that do this should be a bit longer.

And how can a Porygon be "ambitiously nervous"? Just asking.

It was short i suppose, but that's an opinion. And i don't know, I'm thinking about title change because I'm changeing concepts and it may be slightly dark for pokemon but that very well might change too.
 
I am with Zekurom, this is extremely short even for a prologue.

On the plus side, science fiction and pokémon is a nice concept.
 
It would be a great concept, if it wasn't for the hideous spacing, and gnarled-up design of the paragraph. I'm sorry for being harsh, but there's a good amount to be improved upon. Other than that, good luck.
 
Please note: The thread is from 16 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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