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COMPLETE: THE SHAYMIN AND THE DARKRAI (TEEN)

Empoleon

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My first Pokémon story ever done. I want to get into writing and voice acting, so I though I might also shorten this to use for a voice over script. I hope you all enjoy it.


THE SHAYMIN AND THE DARKRAI
BY EMPOLEON

Once upon a time in the land of the Sinnoh region, there lived a small colony of Shaymin, the Gratitude Pokémon. These Shaymin lived in a crater on New Moon Island where the area contained luscious green fields of grass and many different types of flowers that were full of life. One day, one of the Shaymin, whose named happened to be Timothy, was playing a game of Pecha Berry toss with some of the other Shaymin, when suddenly one of the other Shaymin tossed the Pecha Berry very far and it rolled toward the side of the crater. Unbeknownst to the Shaymin, there appeared to be a hole on one side of the crater that may have been placed there by some natural damage to the wall. The hole was connected to the outside, a place where Shaymin do not go for fear of what may lie on this Island.

For this, they rarely ever transform into their Sky Form as there is no need to. Nevertheless, the Pecha Berry went in to the hole, which was so light that it traveled all the way to the outside of the Shaymin colony. Now Timothy considered himself brave, so when decided that he did not want to end his game of Pecha Berry toss so early he decided to after the berry. He assured his friends that he would go at it alone and that there was nothing to fear. So the Shaymin crawled through the narrow hole, barely fitting through, and in a matter of minutes, he was outside the Shaymin colony.

Timothy thought it was awfully dark out here and for some reason could feel a sense of sadness resonating through the air. Timothy took a look around to find the Pecha Berry. Finally he saw it rolled up against a nearby rock. What a stroke of luck he thought for he did not have to go far, but he was wrong for he would soon find himself in an ironically sticky pot of Combee honey. The Shaymin retrieved the Pecha Berry and as soon as he was on his way back to the colony entrance, a shriek of uncertainty filled the air. Timothy heard cries of agony deep from within the forest of New Moon Island.

And rather than go back to the colony, pretending nothing happened and that he had a successful venture, Timothy decided to be the brave and adventurous type (the type that always suited him best) and go see what was happening inside the forest. With such curiosity, Timothy dashed all the way to the end of the forest, where he found himself to be in a wide, open field. In the center of that field, he saw two Pokémon. At first, he could only make out the two Pokémon Darkrai and Cresselia, but as he slowly moved towards them, he saw something most troubling. He was shocked as he saw Cresselia in the arms of Darkrai as Darkrai seemed to be pulling something out of Cresselia’s body.

It was her heart that Darkrai was pulling out, a sight that turned Timothy’s stomach inside and out. He couldn’t believe that Darkrai had taken Cresselia’s actual heart, thus leaving her on the verge of certain despair. Instantly, the little Pokémon ran up to the big bad Darkrai and said “Stop it please! Why are you doing this? Can’t you see you’re hurting her?” Interrupted by this small but brave Pokémon, Darkrai turned to Timothy with a saddened face. “This Cresselia was my beloved,” the Darkrai said.

“We were once greatly in love; soaring the skies of Sinnoh together for many moons. It was not meant to be, however, as I have lost my heart as all Darkrai eventually do. Being the Pitch-Black Pokémon that I am, I thought only of myself and that I would take the heart of the one most precious to me. I tried to fight my nature for her sake, but inevitably gave in to my darkest desire. Even knowing this, she did not flee, or weep, but decided that she would give herself to me.

I begged her to run far, far away from my presence, but her love for me was too strong. She knew her heart contained enough light so that I would never feel empty inside again. She had decided on giving me a gift so undeserving for a Darkrai. That is why I cry for her, for I am truly a monster.” Timothy shuddered at what he had heard, but not out of fear, but because he felt bad for the poor creature.

He felt sorrow for Darkrai and compassion for Cresselia. “What is your name little one,” spoke the tearful Darkrai. “M-my n-name…..it’s Timothy. Do you really have to take her heart? Isn’t there another way?” And the Darkrai answered “I wish there was little one, but at least with her heart, I will never need to take another one ever again.” Momentarily feeling hopeless, Timothy remembered something very vital about himself.

As a Shaymin, he had the power of Aromatherapy, a force that can sooth through any distortion, any irregularity in a being, and heal them. “Hey mister I just remembered something. I don’t think you have to take her heart after all. I think I can help you regain your heart, but I don’t have the strength to do it alone. We have to get back to my colony.”

The Darkrai was unsure about the words spewing from the green Pokémon’s mouth, but decided to humor him nonetheless. “I see, so you believe you can save both of us do you. In any case I can’t leave her like this, so you’ll have to go back yourself. I will wait one hour for you, and if you are not back by then, I will take both her body and my new heart to Full Moon Island, where I may properly lay her to rest.” Hearing this, Timothy sprang back to hole that he came from, promising the Darkrai that he would be back in time.

Timothy made his way back to the colony, making way through the friends he had kept waiting, for he wasted no time in rallying support from the other Shaymin. At first, the Shaymin were reluctant to do anything, because as it was mentioned before, they were not ones who took risks by going out into the world for fear of danger. The elders of the colony couldn’t believe the attitude of their people. “How can we turn a blind eye to this,” said one of the elders. “These Pokémon need our help and all you’re doing is thinking about yourselves.

We’ve stayed bundled up here long enough and now it’s time to do something worthwhile.” The words of the elder filled hearts of many Shaymin, until finally those willing to participate had turned to their Gracidea Flowers. The Gracidea Flowers had the power to turn all Shaymin to their Sky Form, which also gave them an added boost of confidence. And so, the many winged Shaymin (including Timothy) flew towards the sky, leaving the crater and heading for the forest where Darkrai waits and Cresselia lays. Altogether, the Shaymin exuded a pink mist from their bodies that heads towards Darkrai.
“What is this; what are you doing to me,” the Darkrai exclaimed angrily. “Don’t worry mister, just relax and let us help,” said Timothy. Darkrai could feel a warm sensation running through his body, a feeling he had once experienced with Cresselia. Little by little, pieces of his heart was forming in a large hole inside Darkrai. He could feel it; his heart had returned to him!

“I can’t believe it, my heart is back! I can feel life inside of me again.” Happy for the Darkrai Timothy grabs Cresselia’s heart and gently places it back into her body. The group of Shaymin then uses their Aromatherapy on Cresselia to patch up any damage that has occurred since the removal of her heart. A few minutes later, Cresselia’s eyes opened to reveal that she was alive and that her beloved seemed to be riddled with joy, joy for his new heart and joy to see the love of his life all better. “I can’t thank you enough little one,” Darkrai said to Timothy with much gratitude.

“You’ve restored my heart and saved the life of the one I love. You are a truly benevolent Pokémon and I am forever in your debt.” Timothy’s cheeks were bright red with embarrassment by the words of the humble Darkrai. “Oh don’t mention it mister. I’m just glad I could help you two be together again so that you can continue to soar the skies together.

“And to think I wouldn’t have gotten to have such an adventure if it wasn’t for a Pecha Berry.” The elders would have a stern talking to Timothy later about what that meant. Just as Darkrai and Cresselia were ready to take off, “I never properly introduced myself to you Timothy. My name is Rex.” “And my name is Cassandra,” spoke the Cresselia.

“Thank you all for helping my dear Rex and me. I hope we all meet again as good friends.” And so, Rex and Cassandra flew into the night sky as the crescent moon bore a magnificent background for the two lovers. Soon after, the Shaymin returned to the colony and reverted back to their Land Form. The Shaymin that stayed behind felt bad for their cowardice, for Timothy was one tiny Shaymin, yet he had the courage to do what seemed impossible for many.

Timothy had inspired many, so much that the next day many Shaymin were motivated to take leave of the colony and venture out into the island to see what lay before them. The elders handed out Gracidea Flowers to every Shaymin bold enough to take the flight. To this day, Timothy has never been more proud of his colony. He became a true hero of his Shaymin and had gained the friendship of a most fearsome Pokémon.

The End
 
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What we have here is an adorable little kids story, the exact sort of story I can picture some parent in the Pokémon World reading to their child as a bedtime story.

It's a sort of Pokéfic that's not especially common in my experience, and sometimes when it is done the stories really feel kinda condescending and read too much like "fics" rather than actual "stories", or are parodies of kids stories, and don't appeal to me much.

I enjoyed this story. While rated T due to some non-explicitly violent ideas , I personally didn't find it any worse than some of the traditional fairy tales and folk lore I was read and told as a child.

Mainly, this story just needs some sprucing up in terms of grammar and some of the writing can be tweaked to be perhaps more descriptive with fewer words. The author clearly knows what he wants to express, so I don't see that as being a problem should he or she choose to revise it.

Errors I notice include the first instance of Timothy's name being uncapitalized, and the word "whole" being used in place of the word "hole", which are minor oversights. However, the indenting and formatting is good and easy to read on screen, and Pokémon techniques and designations are generally capitalized, showing the capability and intent to present the story proficiently and true to the way these terms are rendered in official Pokémon literature.

It can be improved with editing, but what's already here is a lovely little story with characters I cared about and ideas that were fun to see materialize in my head with lots of emotion, and caring, and sadness going around that I feel without needing to make this a vividly descriptive epic.

I did enjoy this immensely and look forward to any similar stories from this author that may be in the works.
 
Thank you very much for your comments. I fixed the grammar problems, but I think I'm going to stick with the overly descriptive style for now and see where that takes me :).
 
Great! Oh, and the descriptions themselves aren't excessive, those themselves are fine, I'm just overdiscussing things so minor as to be overlooked in the grand shceme of things! :p
 
Please note: The thread is from 14 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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