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The Soul of Johto

KotoneSoul

Author-To-Be;
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Sep 20, 2009
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Welcome to my first fanfic on bulbagarden!

Okay, the title will be completely irrelevant for a little while, but the Soul of Johto will come into play. (And no, it is not named after Kotone.)

I will try to update daily.

Here is the prologue. It is short, but it's a prologue. The actual chapters will be considerably longer.

Hope you enjoy! ^^

ooo

PROLOGUE



“Giovanni, are you sure this will work?”

A tired-looking grunt wiped beads of sweat from his forehead as he made his way through the dense jungle. He looked at his video watch again to see the menacing face of his boss glaring at him.

“Of course this will work. I have spent several years formulating this plan, and I am sure it is the only way for Team Rocket to survive.”

The grunt sighed, “Alright, boss.” He looked around nervously, taking in the eerie calls of dark Pokemon in the distance. “But, could you possibly send me a Scizor? I need better force to take out these thick trees than the Nidorino you lent me.”

Giovanni looked at his grunt, obviously agitated. “If you insist. Nice cover up, by the way.”

Giovanni clicked a button and the video watch returned to the time: 6:43. It would be getting dark soon, and the jungle was filled with vicious, starving Pokemon. T he Scizor would be able to protect the grunt from these Pokemon, hopefully.

The watch beeped, and the perimeter rose upwards. A small chamber was revealed. Inside the chamber, three arms stretched outwards and lit up on the tips of each. Electric currents shot to the center of the chamber, and a glowing white orb formed. The light shattered and a miniscule Pokeball was left in its place. The grunt reached in and pulled the ball out with his thumb and index finger. Smiling, he clicked the center button; the ball enlarged and sent out a white stream of light, forming a Scizor. The red Pokemon stood by the grunt.

“Glad you could make it,” the grunt said, brushing the green strand of hair out of his eyes. “Now, take me deeper into the jungle. If you see an ancient temple, stop. Inside of there should be the Scale of Celebi. That’s our goal.”

The grunt climbed onto Scizor’s back and it took off deep into the jungle.

oo

Reviews, please!
 
Not much suspense so not much incentive to continue reading
Hardly any description at all

Sorry, but I'm giving this a 3/10 so far.
 
It was supposed to be like that, because it will be explained later on.

Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

And, all writings always get better over time.



Next chapter up possibly tonight, possibly tomorrow. My laptop broke, so bear with me, please.
 
It was okay, a few typos but over all the grammar was good. I think the grunt who just said what they were going to do should have been changed to something more mysterious so there is more of a cliff hangar. If you describe the setting a little more and elaborate on some of the description it would not only make it longer but also more interesting to read. I do like the fact that it's a rocket story and I'm hoping the green haired grunt is Butch.
 
When is this going to be updated, is your laptop still broken? I am rather curious to see what will happen next.
 
"Nice cover up, by the way.”
Giovanni wouldn't say that

Giovanni clicked a button
That should be "pressed"

getting dark soon, and the jungle was filled with vicious, starving Pokemon.
What pokémon games/animé have you been playing/watching???

The watch beeped, and the perimeter rose upwards.
I couldn't properly understand this at first
A small chamber was revealed.
From where? Feasibility fail!
three arms stretched outwards
ARMS???
lit up on the tips of each.
Once again, these are arms, right???

clicked the center button;
"Pressed" again
“Now, take me deeper into the jungle. If you see an ancient temple, stop. Inside of there should be the Scale of Celebi. That’s our goal.”
Tis made me wince reading it.
The grunt climbed onto Scizor’s back and it took off deep into the jungle.
It should be "the Scizor's"

***

I have to say, other than that (That's everything I could find wrong) It's looking, okay. 4/10 so far for me, I've no incentive to read on
 
Please note: The thread is from 17 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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