Reggaehype
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This is a story I wrote a few months back, I didn't get much of a critique on it other than "Nice fic" or "Garbage" when I posted it on FF.net. Here's another one of my stories, Hoennshipping which is a little extended from the original.
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Brendan was down, realizing that he didn't know what he wanted out of life made him depressed. His friends decided to cheer him up by bringing him to a party, if it didn't cheer him up they would probably just give up on him as they had already tried everything.
"Brendan, we're going to that May chick's party. Do you wanna come?" Ash asked smoothly trying not to alert him to their real plan.
"I don't know, I don't really feel up to it." He was lying face down on the sofa so his voice was muffled.
"If you don't make up your mind I'm fining you!" Barry shrieked impatiently, nobody knew why they hung out with him as he was always running into people, talking really fast and getting them into unusual situations.
"Fine, but I'm not talking to anybody I don't know. Scratch that, I'm not talking to anybody," He mumbled as he sat up and looked at his friends who were currently surrounding him either to intimidate him or because teh room was really small.
"Cool, man. Let's go." Lucas said as he turned and left, the others quickly followed. Lucas was rather quiet, nobody knew what he did when he wasn't with them and since nobody felt comfortable asking him it went unknown.
They made their way to the party, it was at some commercial party place and as they entered they discovered that the party was huge. The group broke apart rapidly as everyone went to find someone to talk to which left Brendan alone. He found a chair and sat down, he was alone for awhile until rather clunky looking person sat next to him, he adjusted his glasses and looked at Brendan.
"Hi, I'm Conway."
"I'm Brendan."
"Have you seen Dawn?" He asked a little stalkerishly as he peered around looking for blue haired beauty.
"I think she went over there." He stated pointing in a random direction and Conway left as quickly as he came leaving Brendan alone once again.
The lights dimmed down and the music slowed down, everyone found someone to dance with as quickly as possible so they weren't left alone. Ash, Barry and Lucas found Brendan sulking by himself and dragged him away, off to the dance floor.
"What's the point in coming if you sit by yourself and be depressing?" Ash asked his friend his sad sack of a friend.
"You made me come." Another short answer, he was almost determined to be as difficult as possible.
"Yeah, you have to find someone to dance with man or you'll miss your chance." Lucas told him or was he?
"I don't feel like it." His friends decided to stop pushing him and left.
Brendan walked back to his seat and as he did so he saw Dawn run by with a panting Conway chasing her, he shook his head and watched the dancing couples. One girl caught his attention, she had chestnut hair and sapphire eyes, she was sitting on the other side of the room on a chair like Brendan was and every time someone would approach her she would shake her head and they would walk away with a gloom expression distilled on their face.
'Stuck up much?' He thought to himself as observed her rejection of everything that moved towards her.
The lights started to change colors, it gave the room a unique effect. Brendan grew tired of sitting and decided to get a drink of punch, he stood up and walked across the room, he got some punch and chugged it, his face grew tight as he tasted the very sour punch, someone had spiked it with something because it was very strong. He then felt a compulsion to talk to the girl who rejected everyone, was it the punch or hormones?
'Why do I always do what I feel?' Was his last thought before he stepped in front of the girl.
"Would you like to dance?" He asked, his voice remained strong even though his insides were turning from nervousness. He had realized how beautiful she was when he got up close, everything about her made his stomach flutter. His stomach began to turn with anxiousness.
She looked up at the boy who had approached her, she noticed his ruby red eyes but that was all as how he was standing his face was shadowed. She almost said no but the curiosity got to her and she agreed. She stood up and grabbed Brendan's hand which was stretched out towards her.
He led them to the dance floor, the sound of chatting was exceptionally loud as they saw May was dancing with someone but they couldn't see who. Ash, Barry and Lucas looked at each other from where they were dancing and laughed at the thought of May, the prettiest girl in town dancing with Brendan, the most depressing guy in town.
May noticed that Brendan was exceptionally quiet and decided to start a conversation.
"Why did you ask me to dance?"
"You rejected everyone else, I had to try. Why did you say yes?"
"Well, I saw your eyes and they penetrated me almost, and I can't see your face. I'm curious I guess."
"Yeah, I do that sometimes." A slight chuckle fell out of him followed by a smile.
"What's your name?" She asked so she could at least see if she knew him.
"What's yours?" He asked back.
"May, like you didn't know. But I asked you first."
"It's better if you don't know, this will be more meaningful when you think back if you don't kn ow my name."
"What?"
"If you know who I am, you'll want to forget about this. Trust me."
"No I won't. Tell me." She demanded with a stomp on the ground.
A light hit Brendan in the face which exposed it for a second, May saw it briefly. The music stopped and before the lights went back on Brendan kissed her on the lips, she was caught off guard but didn't fight back.
"This isn't goodbye." He whispered to her quietly, he turned and left as the lights came back on but May lost him in the crowd.
He went back to his house, jumped onto his couch and grabbed a magazine as his friends walked in, he pretended like he had been there for awhile.
"Where were you?" They all asked simultaneously.
"I came back here awhile back, why?"
"We thought you danced with May! How silly is that?"
"Yeah." He said with a smile on his face, the kiss faded back to him and he blushed slightly. He turned a page in the magazine as his friends all took a seat and started chatting.
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Brendan was down, realizing that he didn't know what he wanted out of life made him depressed. His friends decided to cheer him up by bringing him to a party, if it didn't cheer him up they would probably just give up on him as they had already tried everything.
"Brendan, we're going to that May chick's party. Do you wanna come?" Ash asked smoothly trying not to alert him to their real plan.
"I don't know, I don't really feel up to it." He was lying face down on the sofa so his voice was muffled.
"If you don't make up your mind I'm fining you!" Barry shrieked impatiently, nobody knew why they hung out with him as he was always running into people, talking really fast and getting them into unusual situations.
"Fine, but I'm not talking to anybody I don't know. Scratch that, I'm not talking to anybody," He mumbled as he sat up and looked at his friends who were currently surrounding him either to intimidate him or because teh room was really small.
"Cool, man. Let's go." Lucas said as he turned and left, the others quickly followed. Lucas was rather quiet, nobody knew what he did when he wasn't with them and since nobody felt comfortable asking him it went unknown.
They made their way to the party, it was at some commercial party place and as they entered they discovered that the party was huge. The group broke apart rapidly as everyone went to find someone to talk to which left Brendan alone. He found a chair and sat down, he was alone for awhile until rather clunky looking person sat next to him, he adjusted his glasses and looked at Brendan.
"Hi, I'm Conway."
"I'm Brendan."
"Have you seen Dawn?" He asked a little stalkerishly as he peered around looking for blue haired beauty.
"I think she went over there." He stated pointing in a random direction and Conway left as quickly as he came leaving Brendan alone once again.
The lights dimmed down and the music slowed down, everyone found someone to dance with as quickly as possible so they weren't left alone. Ash, Barry and Lucas found Brendan sulking by himself and dragged him away, off to the dance floor.
"What's the point in coming if you sit by yourself and be depressing?" Ash asked his friend his sad sack of a friend.
"You made me come." Another short answer, he was almost determined to be as difficult as possible.
"Yeah, you have to find someone to dance with man or you'll miss your chance." Lucas told him or was he?
"I don't feel like it." His friends decided to stop pushing him and left.
Brendan walked back to his seat and as he did so he saw Dawn run by with a panting Conway chasing her, he shook his head and watched the dancing couples. One girl caught his attention, she had chestnut hair and sapphire eyes, she was sitting on the other side of the room on a chair like Brendan was and every time someone would approach her she would shake her head and they would walk away with a gloom expression distilled on their face.
'Stuck up much?' He thought to himself as observed her rejection of everything that moved towards her.
The lights started to change colors, it gave the room a unique effect. Brendan grew tired of sitting and decided to get a drink of punch, he stood up and walked across the room, he got some punch and chugged it, his face grew tight as he tasted the very sour punch, someone had spiked it with something because it was very strong. He then felt a compulsion to talk to the girl who rejected everyone, was it the punch or hormones?
'Why do I always do what I feel?' Was his last thought before he stepped in front of the girl.
"Would you like to dance?" He asked, his voice remained strong even though his insides were turning from nervousness. He had realized how beautiful she was when he got up close, everything about her made his stomach flutter. His stomach began to turn with anxiousness.
She looked up at the boy who had approached her, she noticed his ruby red eyes but that was all as how he was standing his face was shadowed. She almost said no but the curiosity got to her and she agreed. She stood up and grabbed Brendan's hand which was stretched out towards her.
He led them to the dance floor, the sound of chatting was exceptionally loud as they saw May was dancing with someone but they couldn't see who. Ash, Barry and Lucas looked at each other from where they were dancing and laughed at the thought of May, the prettiest girl in town dancing with Brendan, the most depressing guy in town.
May noticed that Brendan was exceptionally quiet and decided to start a conversation.
"Why did you ask me to dance?"
"You rejected everyone else, I had to try. Why did you say yes?"
"Well, I saw your eyes and they penetrated me almost, and I can't see your face. I'm curious I guess."
"Yeah, I do that sometimes." A slight chuckle fell out of him followed by a smile.
"What's your name?" She asked so she could at least see if she knew him.
"What's yours?" He asked back.
"May, like you didn't know. But I asked you first."
"It's better if you don't know, this will be more meaningful when you think back if you don't kn ow my name."
"What?"
"If you know who I am, you'll want to forget about this. Trust me."
"No I won't. Tell me." She demanded with a stomp on the ground.
A light hit Brendan in the face which exposed it for a second, May saw it briefly. The music stopped and before the lights went back on Brendan kissed her on the lips, she was caught off guard but didn't fight back.
"This isn't goodbye." He whispered to her quietly, he turned and left as the lights came back on but May lost him in the crowd.
He went back to his house, jumped onto his couch and grabbed a magazine as his friends walked in, he pretended like he had been there for awhile.
"Where were you?" They all asked simultaneously.
"I came back here awhile back, why?"
"We thought you danced with May! How silly is that?"
"Yeah." He said with a smile on his face, the kiss faded back to him and he blushed slightly. He turned a page in the magazine as his friends all took a seat and started chatting.