Trouble's Poetry

[Trouble]

Well, this thread is designed for... poetry. Here's the deal: read this if poetry suits you. This is not a place for criticism. Though I enjoy constructive criticism on my narratives, my poetry is not to be criticized. Please keep all criticism of poetry to yourself. If you want to say that this inspired you or grossed you out or was interesting, please do, but DO NO CRITICIZE POETRY. It's just ANNOYING.

EDIT: If you REALLY have to add some criticism, VM or PM me what you want to say. DO NOT post it on this tread.



Anyway, I'll start with my first ever Pokemon poem.

Nightmare Ballad

Come hither. Your dreams, are they pleasing?
To me, they may very well be.
Your tossing and turning is teasing.
For I know what plagues you, let me see.
My touch is cold, you'll remember,
But your dream, you probably won't.
The nightmare you had, away it fritters.
To me it comes, on it I dote.

Sweeter than honey,
More sustaining than feasts,
More valuable than money,
A delectable treat.

Your dreams, to you, are not pleasing.
The unrest in your rest is the tell.
Your pulse quickens, and your breathing.
Your terror, more quickly it swells.
But here comes I to rescue
Your body and mind, to release
The very thoughts that plague you
Are all that I need to eat.​

Who's that Pokemon? ;-)

 

[Gama]

I really liked this poem! I don't actually read much poetry in the Workshop but this was beautifully written, well done.

(I would suggest you try to be a little more open to constructive criticism in your poetry, though. I know poetry is a lot more difficult to quantify than standard narratives, which are already difficult to quantify but people could still have things to add.)

 

[Trouble]

Hm, I don't know... I didn't put it up there to imply that my poetry is perfect, it's just that it's so subjective. I can't stand over-analyzing and criticizing other poet's work, it just feels so... unpoetic.

But thanks for the feedback, I guess I'll put this: If you REALLY have to add some criticism, VM or PM me what you want to say. DO NOT post it on this tread.

 

[Trouble]

Growth of our Friendship (The Egg)​

I see we were put here for a reason.
You and I, we didn't always get along.
But now, at this time, this season,
My heart sings a brand new song.
I thought to myself, "How peculiar,
Our trainer would give us away?"
But now that I see who I'm with,
Perhaps, just perhaps, I will stay.

And so grows the orb of our friendship...

We sit and we care and we laugh now.
Our faces so full of good cheer.
I never imagined feeling this way.
Between us, there is nothing to fear.
I feel empowered when I'm with you.
You push me in all of my dreams.
I know you'll always be near, dear.
No matter what enemies may scheme.

And so grows more the orb of our friendship...

That orb it is here, I can see it.
We take it and hold it with care.
From our sight, we dare not release it.
So we take our attention and share.
We share it with ourselves and the orb.
When did it become something real?
The orb that is with us is living.
It moves, it respires, it feels.

And so grows more the orb of our friendship...

So the orb was taken away from us.
But our friendship is here, and it stays.
It seems that our trainer had watched us,
And waited to take it away.
He says he will raise it with care,
Like it is so special to him.
It must be if he'll take it from us.
Perhaps we can make one again.​