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EVERYONE: - Complete Untitled

T

Trystus

Hiya.
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Moonlight peeks through the dusky canopy of wooden claws, twinkling through frozen crystal daggers hanging from their shadowy grasp. Freezing mist creeps amidst towering, blackened sentinels of timber. The frozen ground glimmers as stray moonbeams scatter across its surface.

A tiny, wandering sparrow flits into the dark wood. The mist shrouds it, stopping it mid-flight, and the bird falls, shattering into a fine dust upon the forest floor. The frosted earth pulses once with ethereal light and
consumes
the powder.

Something stirs in the innermost depths of the frozen shadows.
 
As true as it is that there is no minimum to the segment length in fanfics, this is overly tiny. It doesn't stir me at all to wait for more. It doesn't spark me any interest. I'm not saying you're screwed. Just try again.
 
It saddens me to see such great potential put to waste. Please, as Meme-er has previously stated, try again and this time try to actually make a full chapter to the bare minimum of more than one page in Word, or a similar program. What you've posted up here only could be described as a mere passage; nothing more.
 
I'll be honest: it was only really meant to be a passage. I posted it on a whim to see what people would say about the writing, although I do understand that there isn't a whole lot of material to say anything about.

Also, it's not really a fanfic. The description for the thread said "and your other written work here." I would probably stick this under "other."
 
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Please note: The thread is from 16 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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