Wally's Tale

[Dorothy LaRouge]

My own take on the "Rival's Story" meme.

Chapter One​

I coughed. Again. This time I nearly doubled over. I sniffed and sat down at the kitchen table.

"You see, Matilda?" my father said to my mother, gesturing towards me. "The boy's sick, no way to deny it. He needs to get out of the city for a while, to let the illness clear up."

Mom shook her head and ran her fingers through my green hair, frowning. "But where will we send him?" she asked.

"Verdanturf Town," my father declared. "Wanda's there; she'll take care of him."

"I'm just concerned that he might get attacked by a wild Pokemon on his way there," my mother said. "How will he defend himself?"

"I can -kaff- catch m-my own P-Pokemon, m-Mom," I suggested.

Dad chuckled. "That's a good idea, son," he said. "Why don't you go next door and ask the Gym Leader if you can borrow a Pokemon to catch your own?"

I nodded. "O-okay," I stuttered. I've stuttered a lot since I got sick.

"I'll call Wanda and tell her that you're coming," Mom sighed, finally giving up.

I exited the house. The sun was bright, and it hurt my eyes. My pale skin immediately began heating up. I rushed as quickly as I could to the Pokemon Gym next door to our house. I took a long look at the door, then breathed in deeply.

"Well, Wally," I said quietly, "here goes nothing."

I entered the Gym.



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Please read and remember to comment! Remember, Jabber loves feedback!



Also, sorry the chapter's so damn short. Ch. 2 will be longer!

 

[Legacy]

Very short, but I'm actually intrigued. Haha

"The boy's sick, no way to deny it. He needs to get out of the city for a while, to let the illness clear up." No need for a comma after 'a while.'

I also thought it was a bit odd for the Wally's father to suggest a good cure for the boy's illness is to travel.

Overall, I'm interested to see where this goes! I'll be reading.

 

[brickwork]

More Rival's Stories! I lie them a lot. This is really good, i've never played RSE before, so it should be interesting.

 

[Yumega]

It's good, but really short. Maybe a prolouge or something. It seems more of a teaser. Anyway I too have never played R/S/E through but I have tried. Pokémon wise it's my least favorite but I do remember having to catch a ralts or something for a guy named wally.

 

[some colour no doubt]

a good start!
I agree with Legacy about having to travel to get better, wouldn't it have made more sense if the whole family just moved there?
I'm sure you got it covered though

 

[Zekurom]

"The boy's sick, no way to deny it. He needs to get out of the city for a while, to let the illness clear up." No need for a comma after 'a while.'

I don't see why not. It acts as kind of a half-separator, changing the context of the quote somewhat.

With the comma, it means something like this: "He needs to get out of the city for a while, and he needs to do it so that the illness clears up."

Without the comma, it means something like this: "The clearing up of the illness is the reason he needs to get out of the city for a while."

At least that's how I see it. So the comma can be left in.

Onto the story itself - yeah, it is kinda short for me to say anything yet. And what's with all the rival's stories that have been popping up lately... has Gastly's Mama really created such a popular meme?

 

[revolvingscott]

My only worry at this point is that you're doing too many projects! Anyway, this looks like it will turn into something good if you make it good. Do well! I really hope this works!

 

[Gama]

And what's with all the rival's stories that have been popping up lately... has Gastly's Mama really created such a popular meme?

My sentiments exactly, including my own, this is now the fourth one. A 'meme'... seriously?

Anyway, I like the idea but you need some actual substance before I can give it a meaningful review. Probably too short to justify posting a whole chapter in my opinion.

 

[Dorothy LaRouge]

My sentiments exactly, including my own, this is now the fourth one. A 'meme'... seriously?

Anyway, I like the idea but you need some actual substance before I can give it a meaningful review. Probably too short to justify posting a whole chapter in my opinion.

Chapter two will be longer, I promise.

 

[Ranger Jack Walker]

This interests me.

Why don't you just call this a prolouge? Not that it makes any difference.

 

[Legacy]

I'm actually pretty excited to read more of this, despite the super short prologue.