War on Weather (joke)

[The Big Al]

My fellow Americans. I speak to you tonight about a threat to our security, our prosperity, and our liberty like none other we have ever faced. It is a threat without conscience or compassion.

This threat is weather. It is capable of striking anywhere in our nation with awesome and destructive force. From the intellegence we've gathered we've determined it has done extensive research in weapons of mass destruction. They have also researched means of commiting surgical strikes.

This enemy is determined. It seems like will change its direction. Therefore I call on congress to declare war on weather before we have another attack on our soil like in New Orleans on August the 24th 2005.

As I said this enemy is determined but so are we. We will not stop until this threat is nuetralized. We will not stop until America is safe. All we ask for is that you support our meteorologists in their mission. We must stay the course.

Now, any questions?

 

[Rayne]

It's that blasted, maniacal convection process. One day you have harmless drops of water, the vital substance that every living organism needs. After the process, next thing you know they're cumulating into cumulonimbus clouds creating catastrophe for the crowds. Something needs to be done!

 

[GrnMarvl14]

I blame Tesla. And the US government. Even the US military. Or maybe it's those damned Soviets.

 

[MondoTR]

This is why Ororo is the best mutant ever. She's the only one that can fight this evil monster!


A weather joke thread, how can I NOT say something about her? <3

 

[Cferra]

Either that or someone must have royally pissed Storm off. Quick! To the Baxter Building!

 

[The Big Al]

We now have a diagram of the enemy's mobile weapons research labs.

EDIT: I'm glad everyone likes this. However, it was made to make the point weather is just as dangerous if not more dangerous to Americans than the terrorists. However, we don't spend nearly as much time and money making ourselves more weather ready than trying to prevent the terrorist attack.

Enjoy the thread.

 

[Rayne]

We now have a diagram of the enemy's mobile weapons research labs.

Great Scott man! That thing is freakin' huge. Not even FEMA will be able to form a competent enough coalition against this. Uncle Sam is running out of defense organizations, what will we do?

I think we're going to need reinforcements.

 

[GrnMarvl14]

EDIT: I'm glad everyone likes this. However, it was made to make the point weather is just as dangerous if not more dangerous to Americans than the terrorists. However, we don't spend nearly as much time and money making ourselves more weather ready than trying to prevent the terrorist attack.

Enjoy the thread.

But, that's the problem. You can only prepare so much. Make sure every town has tornado sirens. Everyone has access to shelter in a hurricane. FEMA is run by someone competent. Homes are built on stilts. People don't stand in fields during lightning storms. That's all we can do. Everything else is just tuck your head between your knees and pray.

And try not to piss off the various storm gods. Thor's got a killer temper, from what I hear. And Zeus is just a bastard.

 

[MondoTR]

I think we're going to need reinforcements.

That's why we have Ororo. <3

 

[The Big Al]

I'll keep that in mind. Those storm gods strike when you least expect them.

 

[Rayne]

I'll keep that in mind. Those storm gods strike when you least expect them.

Right, from their little hidey holes in unseen dimensions. We can look and look but they'll only harass us every few months with a bolt of unpredictable weather to throw us for a loop and keep us guessing on their whereabouts. What good is science if it can't predict weather? They know our weaknesses.

 

[Cferra]

Reinforcements: Did somebody call my name?

Reinforcements is here!

And I thought he was only availible for a limited time with free proofs of purchase!

Buy all our playsets and toys!!

In all seriousness, we do need to be ready for anything weather related.


Who knows when Blue Laser'll strike.

 

[The Big Al]

Good God. The enemy even has plans to turn this into a cold war.

 

[Shuko]

Good God. The enemy even has plans to turn this into a cold war.

Are there no limits to its insanity? D:

I kind of wish there were more homes that were better reinforced for tornadoes. A lot of the houses you see have some vinyl siding or brick veneer over a wooden frame, and that does crap in a tornado. If most houses had tornado shelters or at least a basement, there'd be fewer lives lost in the worse tornadoes.

That, and people need to actually heed meteorologists when they make watches and warnings. >.>

 

[Masato]

Don't forget the new and improved al Weather led by that Tornado bin Hurricane dude that commits storms in the name of Zeus and Thor.