We can only go oh-so-far

[Pokebreeder10]

First fan fic, constructive criticism is awesome, flames will be ignored...

Prologue
"Hikkaru, wake up!" I jumped up, and pulled on my clothes. "I'm gonna be late!" I thought, thinking about all the consequences I'd have to face if I was late to catch my first pokemon. I ran downstairs and my mom asked me, "Do you have your pokegear and your Trainer Card?" Dang. "Um, no. I'll-" My sentence was cut short, she pulled my Pokegear, my Trainer Card and my first poke ball from a drawer in the kitchen. I kissed her on the cheek and ran out of the house, screaming behind me, "Bye, love you mom!"

My name is Hikkaru Mashimi, and today I turn 15. When my dad died, he told my mother to let me catch my pokemon with the help of professor Maple, but only on my fifteenth birthday. I have blue hair, ice-blue eyes, and glasses, and, I'm LATE! "Professor? Professor!?" i holler as i get close to her house. She steps outside, dressed in a white lab coat, a pair of sunglasses, and walking shoes on. "My, my, Hikkaru, you're right on time! Haha!" She chuckles as i catch my breath. "I made it?" I ask, relieved. "Yep, you sure did! Now, come on, let's go pokemon hunting!" she says the smile stillon her face. I sigh, i can't believe it! Today is the day... The day i catch my first pokemon!


Tell me what i did wrong and what i did right! I'll try to update it daily And yes the professor is a girl!( I did follow the tree naming system though!!)(Elm, Oak, Birch, and isnt rowan a type of tree too?) Oh and in this fanfic, a trainer card shows your intentions of being a trainer, or that you are a trainer, not a record of how many badges or whatever

 

[eevee91]

Well, I'm not used to writing 1st person fanfic, but I'll try to give some suggestions.

It's good for a first fanfic, but there is one thing I noticed. Each person gets their own line.

My name is Hikkaru Mashimi, and today I turn 15. When my dad died, he told my mother to let me catch my pokemon with the help of professor Maple, but only on my fifteenth birthday. I have blue hair, ice-blue eyes, and glasses, and, I'm LATE! "Professor? Professor!?" i holler as i get close to her house. She steps outside, dressed in a white lab coat, a pair of sunglasses, and walking shoes on. "My, my, Hikkaru, you're right on time! Haha!" She chuckles as i catch my breath. "I made it?" I ask, relieved. "Yep, you sure did! Now, come on, let's go pokemon hunting!" she says the smile stillon her face. I sigh, i can't believe it! Today is the day... The day i catch my first pokemon!

Might be better as:

My name is Hikkaru Mashimi, and today I turn 15. When my dad died, he told my mother to let me catch my pokemon with the help of professor Maple, but only on my fifteenth birthday. I have blue hair, ice-blue eyes, and glasses, and, I'm LATE! "Professor? Professor!?" i (I) holler as i (I) get close to her house.

She steps outside, dressed in a white lab coat, a pair of sunglasses, and walking shoes on. "My, my, Hikkaru, you're right on time! Haha!" She chuckles as i catch my breath.

"I made it?" I ask, relieved.

"Yep, you sure did! Now, come on, let's go pokemon hunting!" she says the smile stillon her face.

I sigh. "I can't believe it! Today is the day... The day i catch my first pokemon!"

A lot of "i" need capitalization too.
Hope this helps. I was unsure of the first part.

 

[Pokebreeder10]

Chapter 1
As we were getting ready to leave, Ryu and Kiri joined our party.

"Ryu, Kiri, is today the day you get your first pokemon too?" I asked my two best friends.

"Yep!" Replied Kiri nervously. "Wow I'm so nervous!!" She added. Ryu and I laughed.

"Time to get going!" the professor stated. "We've got about a mile to go!!!" Ryu's jaw dropped. "Seriously!?"

The professor replied, "Uh, no! We're only going to the grass near the matawa village!"(1) Kiri and I chuckled at this. Ryu was big, not exactly overweight, but bulky, and he hated walking.

As we started walking, we felt the heat above us, so we quickened our pace. It was supposed to take us half an hour to get there, at a slow pace, and we got there in about seventeen minutes.

As we approached the village, Ryu was sweating buckets, Kiri was hot too, she put her hair up, and rolled up her pants legs. I was alright, but it was kinda hot. We got to the grass, and as we were foraging around, an Electrike jumped out near Ryu. He jumped, but the professor guided him. "Ryu, don't be afraid! Just let it know you aren't here to hurt it! Tell him you want to be his friend!" Ryu got a few steps closer to the Electrike, and he whispered to it, "Can we be friends?" The Electrike nodded his head, and Ryu pointed his Poke ball at it. A red beam shot out of it, and Electrike was gone.

Ryu was proud of his first pokemon, and when he let it out of it's poke ball, they played and laughed while Kiri and I looked for more Pokemon. A few feet away from Kiri, a Budew scurried out from the foliage. "Awww, it's cute!" She leaned down next to it. "Hey there! Wanna be friends?" The Budew smiled, and Kiri stood up, pulled out her poke ball, aimed it, and then the Budew disappeared too.

Now I was the only one left. I foraged in the grass, looking for a pokemon, when, about three yards away from me, a small pokemon with a leaf on it's head popped out. "Chiko!" It squealed. "Uh professor, what is that pokemon?" "It's a Chikorita! It's very rare in these parts!" I looked at it, and it stared back at me. "Chikorita, will you join me?" The Chikorita ran up to me and nudged my leg with it's leaf. I smiled, aimed my poke ball, and then my new friend disappeared. I automatically sent my pokemon back out. I picked it up and carried it to where my friends and their pokemon were waiting.

"You are all officially Pokemon Trainers now!" Professor Maple said.

The foot note (1) was that this village is right below Cherrygrove city.

 

[Pokebreeder10]

Chater 2

"Okay, it's time to head home guys!" Professor Maple said. "Um, excuse me, but could we stay here and play with our pokemon for a little while?" Kiri asked, obviously nervous. "Sure, Kiri!" The prfessor replied.

As we went back into the grass, looking for a wild pokemon to battle, I heard a voice saying " Use Hyper Beam, Milotic!!" "Milo-Milotic!" I turned the corner and there were two trainers battling. One had a long, slender, beautiful snake looking pokemon who I took to be Milotic, because a solid beam of energy was shooting from her mouth at a trainer's pokemon. The other pokemon looked like a purple flying dragon. "Aerodactyl, use protect!" He hollered, and the dragon threw up a weird force field that made the Hyper Beam ineffective. The forcefield faded away, and the Milotic trainer hollered, "Milotic, hit him with an Iron Tail!" The Miltic's tail flashed white, and was just about to hit the Aerodactyl when the other trainer said, "Aerodactyl, use Hyper Beam!" The Milotic was blown back, almost hitting her trainer. "Milotic, you did a good job. Time for some rest."

The Milotic trainer threw out a Ghost looking pokemon, which was purple and looked like it was wearing a big hat.

 

[Kantomasta]

ok, this isnt that bad, but can be improved, alot.

1. A new paragraph should be added everytime that a person speaks.

2.These chapters run too fast.

3. I know this is your first fic, heck, im still new, but read over your passage for spelling errors.

4. Arent wild pokemon usually scared of humans?

Overalll, keep those things in mind and i think you can get this going good. IM READING!!

7/10

 

[Pokebreeder10]

Chapter 2 Cont.

"Misma-Mismagius!" The pokemon screamed, scaring me amd my Chikorita.

"Mismagius, finish him with a Shadow Ball!" The trainer holllered. A weird ball of darkness shot at the Aerodactyl.

"Aerodactyl, dodge!" However, the flying dinosaur wasn't quick enough, and the Ghost's move hit it square in the chest. The flying pokemon fell to the ground, and quickly fainted.

"Aerodactyl, you failure!" The other trainer hollered at his pokemon, before quickly returning it to it's Poke Ball. He was red in the face, and he pulled out his next Poke Ball with a smirk.

"Now you're dead, punk." He threw the Poke Ball, and out came a giant blue, snake looking pokemon.

"WROOOOAAAAARRRR!!!" The pokemon's cry shook the trees around it, and suddenly, I wasn't the only spectator in this battle. Ryu and his Electrike, Kiri and her Budew, and Professor Maple, along with the awakened Pidgeys, Sentrets, and Rattatas, watched from the sidelines.

"Oh my," said the professor. "That's a Gyarados! And a Mismagius!" She said, looking at the Ghost type pokemon.

"Professor, I have a question." I looked at the professor. "Why would that man call his own pokemon a failure?"

Her eyes were now wide open. "Well, Hikkaru, if anyone would call their own pokemon a failure, then they're not really pokemon trainers. You must never forget, pokemon are our friends and partners, not just tools for fighting!"

We looked back at the fight. The mean trainer hollered at his pokemon. "Gyarados, use Hyper Beam!" The big pokemon opened his mouth, and out shot another beam of energy. This one, however, didn't seem to affect the ghost pokemon.

"See, Hikkaru? If that man was a good trainer, he would have known that normal type moves don't affect ghost types." She stated with a look of indignance. She reached under her lab coat and pulled out two Poke Balls. I'm gonna end this NOW." She threw out her pokemon, and there was a big yellow pokemon with a ball on the end of it's tail, and another black dog looking pokemon with glowing rings on it's ears and tail. "Umbreon, stop that Mismagius, and Ampharos, use Thunder Wave on the Gyarados." Umbreon jumped in front of the Mismagius, and it immediately calmed down. Three yellow rings shot at the blue snake, which couldn't move afterwards.

"Lady, get out of my way! Those pokemon eggs and Pokedexs will be mine!" the mean trainer was turning even redder now.

"Wait, Pokemon eggs? Pokedexs? She turned to the man with the Mismagius. "Did Professor Oak send you? To Professor Maple?"

The man replied, "Yes, but this man is trying to steal them, so we battled." Professor Maple turned to the mean man.

"Ampharos, finish that pokemon with a Thunderpunch!" The yellow pokemon's hand was starting to be surrounded with small thunderbolts, spinning, faster and faster, until it jumped up, using it's tail for levrage, and hit the Gyarados in the face. Before it fell, the mean person returned it to his Poke Ball, and promptly ran away, screaming, " Team Rocket will prevail!"

When the professor turned around, she looked at Kiri, Ryu, and I. "Hehehe, sorry about that!" She turned back around.

"Just bring them over here." She was speaking to the nice trainer now.

"Mismagius, return!" He let his pokemon back into it's Poke Ball. He then carried a box to where we were standing. The professor opened it up. Inside were three eggs, and three what I took to be Pokedexs beside them. Each one had a name on it.

"Whenever someone gets their first pokemon, we give them an egg, and a Pokedex." Professor Maple told us three.




What is in the eggs? What other pokemon will Maple have? Is this chapter good? Which pokemon should I catch? Last two are ya'll answerable questions Thanx... Also, you should read "The Johto Journey of Gold Silverston" Also I edited one thing... The pokemon is now a Chikorita because my file with Cyndaquil is dead aw well. Um, is pokedex plural "Pokedex(S)" or Pokedex(ES)? Also um, i need more readers X_X or commenters/ critiques

 

[Darth Adficio]

really good fanfic. I liked it a lot... but why does she get the only realy rare pokemon? I also think she should find or catch a todadile.

 

[Pokebreeder10]

really good fanfic. I liked it a lot... but why does she get the only realy rare pokemon? I also think she should fing of catch a todadile.

Um are you talking about Kiri, Maple, or the hero? The hero is a boy... I also want each one to have a pokemon from a different region.

 

[Flame_]

Interesting, needs a tad bit of work, but I'll be reading.

 

[Pokebreeder10]

Chapter 3



"Kiri, this one is for you!" The professor stated, handing the timid girla pink pokedex and a pink and light green egg.

"Thanks, professor!" Kiri humbly replied, still holding her Budew. "Hold on just a second!" She giggled nervously, returning her small green pokemon to it's new home.

"Ryu, this one is for you!" The professor said, handing him a forest green pokedex and a brightly colored blue egg. Electrike was set on the ground, and when Ryu got the egg, he put it in one hand, slid the Pokedex in his pocket, and picked up Electrike with his other hand.

"Thanks, professor," he muttered gruffly, deep in thought.

"And for you, Hikkaru, this one!" She handed me a cobalt blue Pokedex, and a flaming red egg.

"Thank you, Professor Maple!" I replied eagerly. "What does the egg do?" I asked, still naive.

"If you carry it with you in a team of pokemon, it will eventually hatch into a pokemon!" The man from Professor Oak's lab replied.

"Um, do we just carry them, or do we put them in Poke Balls?" asked Ryu, being forever lazy.

"Oh yes! Thanks Ryu, I almost forgot!" She reached into her purse and pulled out three sets of five red and white marble looking things.

"What are those?" asked Kiri.

"Poke Balls! Duh, Kiri!" Ryu retorted, then started laughing. A slap and a very hateful look from Kiri shut him up very, very quickly.

"Alright, 'children'(She chuckled) calm down!"Professor Maple said, putting emphasis on children. Kiri and Ryu gave her looks of fury. She handed each of us five Poke Balls, then showed us how to absorb the eggs into it.

"Today you all three begin your journey in the pokemon world. Will you traverse it together, or will you all part ways?" She said, using words very unusual for her.

"Um, Ryu, Hikkaru, why don't we go together?" Asked Kiri, afraid of going alone, I guessed.

"Well, sure, why not?" Said Ryu, looking at me questioningly. I nodded my head, indicating that I thought it was a good idea.

"Okay everyone, go home and prepare for tomorrow, because you will travel to many far away places, meet many new people, and grow greatly alongside your pokemon!" Professor Maple's eyes shined with a mysterious light.






Um, was it any good? Rate it, tell me what I can do better. Much appreciated. Do i start a new paragraph even if the same person is talking? Again, thanks

 

[Darth Adficio]

I like it a lot. ten out of ten because i think everything was really good. I liked the part were they decide to go travel togther but it reminds me a bit of the original pokemon (ash,brock,misty) 2 guys and one girl.
p.s sorry i got the gender wrong last time.

 

[Pokebreeder10]

Oh that's fine. You know, Chikorita is such a manly pokemon 0.o lol except no one will have preferred types... I need idea for the pokemon to catch. Suggestions???

 

[Crazyyoshi]

Really good for your first fanfic. I can already tell what will hatch from those poke eggs. lol XD The mistakes I noticed were already mentioned above from other commenters, so there is really nothing I could add constructive wise. =3

As for other possible pokemon partners I'd say.. ryu some kind of fighting type. machop, or mankey. A steelix would be cool too.

kiri needs a two face jigglypuff. sometimes cute, sweet, and other time devious. lol XD Just something with doubleslap. lol

Hikkaru A psychic type, and electric type. maybe Girafarig, and (I know you saw this coming) Pikachu! <3

These are just poke suggestions. Keep up the good work PB10.

 

[Darth Adficio]

How bout beedrill , magicarp (so they get a gyrados), gastly, shellder , mr Mime (rocks) and/or a fire type (ponyta maybe ?)

 

[Pokebreeder10]

Really good for your first fanfic. I can already tell what will hatch from those poke eggs. lol XD The mistakes I noticed were already mentioned above from other commenters, so there is really nothing I could add constructive wise. =3

As for other possible pokemon partners I'd say.. ryu some kind of fighting type. machop, or mankey. A steelix would be cool too.

kiri needs a two face jigglypuff. sometimes cute, sweet, and other time devious. lol XD Just something with doubleslap. lol

Hikkaru A psychic type, and electric type. maybe Girafarig, and (I know you saw this coming) Pikachu! <3

These are just poke suggestions. Keep up the good work PB10.

To Yoshi, Ryu, accurate, Kiri very close, and Hikkaru, NO i hate the pikachu stereotype. (All people choose pikachu...) But a Pichu is a whole nother story...

To Crobat, magikarp is Meh-ish, but Hikkaru is gonna catch a.... Um somebody tell me how to do spoilers? please? neways lol the next chapter will be up tomorrow morning enjoy

 

[Pokebreeder10]

Sorry for being late with it... Ya know, life and all... Anyways, here it is, enjoy!

Chapter 4



"Chikorita, use RazorLeaf!" I yelled, and my pokemon started shaking it's head, faster and faster, shooting leaves at our enemy, a man with three pokemon on the field. To the left was a blue pokemon, with a horn on it's head, standing on two legs, poised for attack. To the right was a bigger, purple pokemon, with a bigger horn on it's head. In the middle was a big metal snake, which looked like a metal Onix.

"Ha! Foolish boy, I told you! You cannot win this battle!" He shouted, with a cocky smirk on his face. He looked old, but not above forty years old, his gray black hair was dancing in the breeze, and he was wearing a charcoal black suit, which looked freshly ironed.

As my Chikorita's attack hit the three pokemon, they just shrugged them off, unhurt, but annoyed.

"Alright, Steelix, use Dragonbreath! Nidoking, use Hyper Beam, Nidoqueen, you too!" The three attacks collided as they hit my Chikorita, instantly knocking her out.

"Chikorita! No!" I cried, running to my injured pokemon. I picked her up, and she quietly murmured, "Chiko-" and fainted.

"Okay, all of you weaklings, do that again!" The man screamed. His pokemon turned around and looked at him questioningly. "Well, wait are you waiting for!?" He yelled, looking as red as a Charmander's tail fire. "Do it, now! Kill him too!" He pointed at me. His eyes were icy, and murder was on his mind. The pokemon turned around, and got ready to attack.

I stood up, in front of Chikorita, blocking her from the disaster about to ensue. I spread my arms out, and the beams hit me, just as-

"BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!" My alarm clock sounded, and I was sweating. I grabbed for my clothes, putting on my blue shirt, my black pants, and my black hoodie. I picked up Chikorita's poke ball, and hit the button on it to bring out my new found friend. I picked her up, then walked down the stairs. My mom looked at me.

"Um, your dressing a bit emo much, aren't you?" She chuckled. "Hi, cutie! She cooed, petting my Chikorita.

"No, but I've gotta go meet Ryu and Kiri! Bye mom, love you!" I yelled shutting the door and running to Professor Maple's lab. On the way, I thought about my dream. Who was that man? Why did he want to kill me?

As I arrived at her lab, Kiri was there, playing with her Budew, and Professor Maple was at the table, looking at a piece of paper.

"Hey, where's Ryu?" I asked, and Kiri looked at me, and smiled.

"Hey Hikkaru!" She gushed, then continued, "We don't know, he hasn't came yet."

Professor Maple looked up. "I know where he is..." She handed us the paper to read.

We have the boy and his Electrike. We won't hesitate to kill them both if you do not comply with our demands. We want a ransom of P20,000,000, or his life is forfeit. Bring the money to Itawa city at five thirty P.M., in exatly one week, or they both die. If you bring anyone else, other than Professor Maple, Hikkaru Maji, or Kiri Navo, they will die. Sincerely, Team Rocket.



oooooh, Cliffhanger! Guess what's in the eggs, PM me with suggestions, good story or no? Who was the strange man?????

 

[Darth Adficio]

The strange man was his deranged uncle or dad. And team rocket will sadly fail....again:bawl:

 

[Pokebreeder10]

Nope on the first one, and you never know on the second one... lol and btw, way to make me insecure. TWO people are reading my fanfic... TWO Fricking 2<---- (That's not enough, btw) Well, I wasn't gonna write any tonight, but Solemn got my banner, and I was honestly inspired Thanks Solemn!

Chapter 5


"Professor!" An aide came running into the lab, and panted for breath. "Uh, outside... attacking, Team Rocket... coming this way!" He caught his breath.

"What?" Professor Maple got up. We all ran outside, to see a huge coal-black blimp with a fiery red R on the sides of it, coming near Newbark Town.

As it got closer, the professor pulled out a Poke Ball. "Go, Staraptor! Take that blimp down!" The fierce looking bird pokemon nodded, then took off for the blimp. When he was within a couple of yards of it, a huge jolt of electricity was shot at him. Professor Maple threw out a big pokemon that looked like it was made out of solid rock (No pun intended). The bolt of electricity went from Staraptor to her next pokemon. The electricity hit it dead on, and when the smoke cleared, the pokemon wasn't even scratched.

"See kids, Rypherior's ability is Lightningrod, which means, that if any kind of electricity is used, it hits him, and since he is a ground type, the electricity doesn't hurt him a bit." The pokemon roared, then stomped his feet with a mighty crash. Staraptor hit the blimp, but bounced of. It flew down to us.

"Alright then, I didn't want to do this," she grimaced. "Rypherior, hit that blimp with Hyper Beam!" A beam of energy shot at the blimp, but a green forcefield surrounde the blimp before it could damage it. A voice echoed from the skies, " This town is now Team Rocket's!" That voice sounded familiar... Almost too familiar...

I looked up at the blimp, and saw my worst nightmare. Literally. The man from my dream was the one yelling at us. I instinctively held Chikorita tighter.

"Chiko?" She looked concerned.

"It'll be okay." I whisper to her, lying through my teeth. She smiled. That made me feel better.

"Um, Professor Maple, That- That's G-Giovanni!" The aide sounded awfully faint, exactly like I felt.

"I know! Alright, go, Umbreon, Ampharos, Rypherior, Staraptor, Machamp, and Jynx!" An assortment of pokemon appeared. "Jynx, use Blizzard! Staraptor, carry Machamp on top of the ship, then use Aerial Ace! Machamp, use Cross Chop! Rypherior, use Rock Throw! Umbreon, jump on Rypherior's attack, and get inside the ship!"

Suddenly, an icy blast shot from a pokemon that looked quite like a woman, Machamp was picked up by the mighty Staraptor, and they started gaining altitude, when a huge ball of ice was shot at the pair. Machamp, jump and use Cross Chop!" Machamp's attack crushed the ice, and as he dropped, Staraptor caught him again, and started carrying him higher and higher. Rypherior reached for a nearby boulder, and hurled it at the blimp. Just after he threw it, Umbreon jumped from his shoulder to the boulder. "Ampharos, use Rain Dance!" Ampharos shook, and twisted around, and a rain storm struck. "Now use Thunder!" Maple commanded. Ampharos glowed yellow, the struck the cloud with a might thunder, which then proceeded to hit the blimp with perfect accuracy.

What happened next shocked us all. A bunch of specks in the sky were drifting downward. As they got bigger, we saw they were Team Rocket grunts. One landed next to me. "Give me that pokemon, or I'll take it from you."

"Not a chance!" I said back, letting chikorita jump from my arms, growling loudly at the enemy.

The man threw a Poke Ball, and then a little yellow shrew popped out. "Sandshrew, use Poison-" Before he finished saying his command, Chikorita launched a full powered Razor Leaf, and instantly knocked out Sandshrew. He grabbed three Poke Balls from his belt. I thought to myself, "Whoa, what a sense of De ja vu!"

"Chikorita, hit the poke balls with a Raxor Leaf!" It hit, and the grunt dropped the poke ball. It rolled over to me. I picked it up, and then I pressed it open. Out popped a small little blue pokemon.

"Munchlax, get over here, now! The pokemon shook her head. The grunts voice went icy. " I. Said. NOW!"

Munchlax turned to me and gave me a thumbs up. He turned around and started wiggling his finger. Suddenly, a burst of water shot at the grunt. He was knocked back, and landed on his butt, but then fell over, knocked out.

I told my party of two, "Come on guys!" We ran to Kiri, who's Budew was having trouble against two grunts with three pokemon between them. Munchlax and Chikorita joined the fight. "Chikorita, use Razor Leaf, Munchlax, use whatever that move was you just did!"

"Budew, use Mega Drain! The Bud pokemon ran behind the pokemon that looked like a sea slug, then started sucking out it's energy.

Chikorita's Razor Leaf hit all three of the pokemon. One was a pink sea slug, one was a blue sea slug, and there was a floating rock with arms. Chikorita's attack knocked out all three. Suddenly, he started glowing. When the light went away, I had a bigger version of my Chikorita.

"Bay- Bayleef!" He yelled excitedly. We ran over to Professor Maple. She was fighting aginst fifteen pokemon, with her five.

"Jynx, Blizzard, then use Ice Beam!" All of Professor Maple's pokemon retreated. "Kids, get back! Professor Maple said. We hid behind a big boulder, right beside the one that was no longer there because of Rypherior. Jynx aimed at the ground, then another icy blast shot at the ground, freezing it. She looked up, faced the enemy, and right before she launched her attack, the professor, returned her pokemon to their poke balls. She started spinning on the patch of ice, faster, and faster, and then launched a powerful Ice Beam. It hit all of the pokemon, knocking out about half of them. "Suddenly, the man from my dreams appeared, walking towards our boulder.

"You should know that you can't hide from me, Maple!" He said with a smirk.








Ooooh! What will happen next??? lol Thats not usually how you catch new pokemon...

 

[Darth Adficio]

this is the bast part yet...more people should subscribe. If these keep getting better ill call 911 fo abuse for not righting fast enough. BEST STORY YET.

 

[Crazyyoshi]

To Yoshi, Ryu, accurate, Kiri very close, and Hikkaru, NO i hate the pikachu stereotype. (All people choose pikachu...) But a Pichu is a whole nother story...

To Crobat, magikarp is Meh-ish, but Hikkaru is gonna catch a.... Um somebody tell me how to do spoilers? please? neways lol the next chapter will be up tomorrow morning enjoy

I understand. I just love pikachu. lol XD A pichu would be cute too though. Maybe one with a Quirky personality. Glad I got the other two kinda close though. XD Keep it up PB10.