TEEN: What History Hides

[Kyuuketsuki]

The story of a young teenager's journey. He leaves the circus where he used to live with his parents to uncover his family's secrets.

The Circus Tales​

Contents
§1: Imposters
§2: The Seer
§3: In The Shadows
§4: Chasing For Ghosts
§5: Compromised
§6: A Life Behind​

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

§1: Imposters

Galen had been to this mansion too many times. He knew every corner, every step in the staircases, every fall and where it leads, and every easy way of avoiding Pokémon. But he never prepared himself for a situation in which his stealthy tactics failed.

The stench was horrible, and the leaves around Galen were starting to wither as the hardened purple sludge approached him. Galen had no Pokémon, no way to fight back, no way to even defend himself. Whatever the Pokémon wanted from him, it wouldn’t be hard to acquire; Galen just stood in a corner, worrying about the approaching monster instead of searching for a way to evade it.

The Pokémon Mansion wasn’t a particularly popular place to be alone in with no Pokémon; it was a place most trainers wouldn’t give a second glance. Galen had no reason to be there but research.

*​

‘Many go in, but never come out,’ the old man said. ‘It’s a haunted mansion, I tell you.’

‘I’ve been in there many time before,’ Galen said after a long skeptical look; the man must be nearing the end of his life, and Galen felt bad for thinking that. ‘Thank for the warning, though.’

He ignored the rest of the old man’s words and nodded as he walked into the mansion. The breeze of the ocean was quickly replaced with the stale air of the mansion. The carpet was covered in broken glass and parts of the ceiling that had fallen, the light shined through what was remaining of the glass windows, and the wood creaked beneath Galen’s feet.

He had been here before, but he never found what he was looking for. The floor was littered with pieces of paper and torn books, journals were scattered all around, and many spots in the wall were covered in equations.

Galen had been trying to discover his family’s past ever since his father unexpectedly disappeared, and his mother was killed by an unknown illness. He knew his parents hid secrets, he knew they wanted to forget their past, and he knew it was recorded somewhere; that would be the only explanation of his father’s books disappearing after his mother died.

The Pokémon Mansion was where the search started; it was a vibrant source of information, but he found nothing at all. He learned that some powerful Pokémon destroyed the mansion, and it was the product of scientists, but he didn’t care for it. He knew there were some valuable items scattered around, and he had to hide from thieves who were seeking them many times, but he didn’t care for those either. All he wanted was information.

Galen’s parents were always travelling across Kanto, as they were part of a circus. Galen didn’t know where his parents were from, and he didn’t know when or why they joined the circus, there were far too many questions. He searched the documents in the Pokémon Mansion, finding only one new piece of paper that didn’t help him at all.

He was convinced that if he abandoned his goal and started the journey that everyone else was embarking on, he would manage to become the Champion in no time; he has read about Pokémon more than all the other starting trainers, but all his knowledge didn’t prepare him for what was about to happen to him.

A horrible smell took over the place, and a plant next to Galen withered in mere seconds. There was a muted noise behind him, and he turned to face the approaching Pokémon.

His reading never prepared him for a Pokémon battle when he had none of the little creatures by his side. He took a few steps back, delaying the encounter and trying to recall any battling strategy that would help him, and Galen soon found himself in a corner.

The hardened purple sludge approached. Galen had no Pokémon, no way to fight back, no way to even defend himself. Whatever the Pokémon wanted from him, it wouldn’t be hard to acquire; Galen just stood in a corner, worrying about the approaching monster instead of searching for a way to evade it.

Another smell violated the mansion, and Galen coughed violently before a small explosion sent clouds of smoke through the room. He struggled to find a way out, but ended up falling to his knees, and underneath the sound of his coughing and the smoke, there was a mute sound of a trainer ordering attacks, and a Pokémon attacking the Grimer.

Galen placed a palm against the wall that was behind him, and covered his mouth with the other as the smoke retreated slowly. Grimer emerged as an unconscious body, followed by a human figure with two Pokémon behind him.

The smoke retreated into one of the Pokémon. It was a round purple Pokémon with a skull pattern under its face. The other was a Pokémon Galen recognised easily, it was a purple Pokémon with spiky ends above it’s red eyes and a grin that seemed to take up his entire body, a Gengar.

‘Where are your manners?’ the human said. ‘You should thank me!’

Galen shifted his attention to the man who saved him. He was a short old man clothed in a lap coat. His hair rose up into a spike on each side of his head, and combined with his grin, it made him resemble his Gengar.

‘Who are you?’ Galen asked. ‘You look familiar.’

‘No manners? Youth these days… I can kill you within a second, rude kid!’ he retorted. ‘I’m Professor Oak! Surely you’ve heard of me. I practically made all the trainers what they are now!’

‘Very well then,’ Galen smirked. ‘Have a nice day, Oak. I don’t have time to deal with you.’

Galen got up, and started to walk away, only to have his path blocked by the Gengar. It gave him a sinister stare and extended his grin. Galen knew that Oak expected something in return, and he would not be able to leave until he gives it to him.

‘I’m afraid you owe me a favor,’ Oak grinned, and Galen’s thoughts were confirmed. ‘Actually, I’m delighted that you do! I hope you’re up for the challenge.’

‘What challenge?’

‘The Gym Challenge, of course!’ Oak chuckled. ‘I want you to beat all the Gym Leaders of this region, I want you to become the Champion!’

‘Why would I waste my time doing that?’ Galen said. ‘I owe you nothing; you’re the one who chose to save me.’

‘Don’t you want the fame? The glory? The power? Think about it, kid! You can have everything!’

‘That’s not enough of an incentive for me,’ Galen said as he gave the Gengar a glance, only to catch the Pokémon’s piercing stare. ‘You have nothing that matters to offer.’

‘Aside from your life,’ Oak started. ‘I know what happened to your parents; surely you’re after that, aren’t you, Galen?’

Galen’s mind raged with questions as Oak spoke more and more about greatness and victory, but Galen wanted the answers he offered more than anything else. Oak must know something; how else would he know what Galen wanted, or his name?

‘Why do you need me to become the Champion?’ Galen said, interrupting Oak’s speech.

‘I don’t need you! I want you to become the Champion!’ Oak said. ‘Once you do, you will hand your authority over to me, and I will give you the information you need. Don’t question me; just do it, and everyone will get what they want. Now, I’ll ask again, are you up for the challenge?’

Galen knew that he only had one option; Oak didn’t seem to be willing to accept any refusal, and Galen wasn’t willing to let this opportunity slip away.

‘Yes,’ Galen said. His mind was set on finding the answers; he had to know what happened in his family’s past, why it made his life miserable. ‘But you will have to give me some Pokémon; I have none.’

Oak smirked and reached into his coat pocket before producing several Poké Balls. ‘One of them has a Squirtle, and you can use one of the others to get this Grimer,’ he crossed his arms and pointed at the unconscious Pokémon with his feet. ‘You’ve made the right choice, Galen. You have no chance of defeating Blaine now, though; go to where all the other pathetic little kids are, and start there.’

Galen stared as Oak turned and walked away, followed by his Koffing and Gengar. With each moment, Galen’s questions increased, but he ignored them all; questioning Oak might take this chance away.

*​

Galen’s mother lay on her deathbed, coughing heavily. A few other members of the circus surrounded her; one was a tall slender man dressed in a traditional 1700s suit and a long top hat; another was a young girl holding her mother’s hand, they both wore a pink dress with a floral pattern; and the last member was a small man dressed in a sailor’s outfit, with a belt full of knives.

‘She’s been poisoned?’ the tall man said in astonishment, walking the line between reality and dramatic acting. ‘I can’t believe it.’

‘I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do to help her,’ the woman said, and looked at her child, who returned the blank look. ‘Galen is going to be devastated.’

‘Maybe we shouldn’t tell him,’ the short man said. ‘He will try to pursue revenge on whoever killed his mother.’

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

§2: The Seer

‘I was sent by Oak,’ the boy said. ‘Are you willing to do anything for the truth, Galen?’

‘Yes,’ Galen answered; he didn’t need to think at all. ‘Are you going to help me?’

‘Yes,’ the boy answered, imitating Galen perfectly. ‘I will help you.’

*​

Being in Pallet Town was a strange experience for Galen. For some reason, Oak instructed him not to even visit his lab, or talk about him to anyone, and now Galen was supposed to wait for someone who works alongside Oak. Some kids were training their Pokémon, having generic and weak battles with each other, while some mothers gathered around a table in a garden, and gossiped while they drank tea and ate pastries, wiping off every single atom that would even hope to fall on their dress.

To Galen, it was a weird sight. The women back at the circus were the complete opposite; they were actually trustworthy, keeping the secrets of the circus to themselves, and avoiding any sort of gossip. A woman approached the rest of the group, carrying a basket probably full of more dietary foods. She obviously wasn’t happy about being there, and the only reason she joined was to ensure that the rest of the women weren’t talking about her. The stories Galen had heard about the outside world were confirmed true a long time ago; everyone is only looking out for their own best interest, and every situation is filled with deceit and manipulation, but these sights that were supposedly normal still surprised him.

He looked over to Squirtle, the Pokémon he had received from Oak; it was playing in a bond, splashing water at Galen’s other Pokémon, Grimer. He knew that he is expected to be their friend, but how was he supposed to understand beings that had no means of communicating with him? The only Pokémon he had ever befriended were ones from the circus, and they weren’t even his own, or his parents’.

‘Excuse me, are you Galen?’

He turned his head. A tall boy about his age was standing over him, blocking the sun, and looking at Galen with lazy eyes. He wore a purple tracksuit that zipped all the way up to his neck, even covering part of his chin. His hair was blazing red, as were his eyes.

‘Yes, I am,’ answered Galen. ‘Are you Oak’s assistant?’

‘You aren’t supposed to mention Oak to anyone,’ the boy replied. ‘And I’m not his assistant; I’m a freelancer. I’m only here because I’m being paid for it. Please, next time, stick to your instructions.’

‘So you don’t work for Oak?’ Galen sighed as he stood up, prompting his Pokémon to rush to his side, thinking he was about to leave them behind.

‘I don’t work for Oak,’ the boy said. ‘Were you not listening?’

Galen was just about to speak when the boy continued. ‘I was sent by Oak,’ the boy said. ‘Are you willing to do anything for the truth, Galen?’

‘Yes,’ Galen answered; he didn’t need to think at all. ‘Are you going to help me?’

‘Yes,’ the boy answered, imitating Galen perfectly. ‘I will help you.’

‘Very well then,’ Galen dusted off his clothes. ‘Where do we start?’

‘We can start by introducing ourselves,’ the boy said. ‘I’m not going to tell you my name; I’m a freelancer, and would rather that stays a secret, since my work isn’t the most ethical. However, you can call me Seer.’

‘Is that your codename?’

‘You didn’t introduce yourself.’

‘You didn’t answer the question.’

Galen and Seer shared a long stare, in which they both realised something; working with this other person is going to be harder than doing the actual task at hand.

‘I’m Galen,’ Galen introduced himself after growing uncomfortable with the state they were stuck in. ‘But you already knew that.’

‘If you’re going to use your real name,’ Seer sighed. ‘Why not tell me your last as well?’ He returned to staring directly into Galen’s eyes, and continued just as Galen was about to speak. ‘Danforth. Pleased to meet you, Galen Danforth. Now, you wanted to know your task?’

‘Yes,’ Galen said. ‘The sooner we start, the sooner we finish.’

‘Interesting,’ Seer said. ‘I personally prefer to enjoy it while it lasts, but don’t worry, I’m not going to get in your way, most of the time. However, I was under the impression that Oak informed you of your task; get the Badges, become Champion, hand the title to Oak, and get your information. That is still your task, I was hired just to keep you on track, to make sure you don’t get sidetracked by any external… organisations. We can start right now, by you returning your Pokémon to their Poké Balls; we don’t need anything slowing us down.’

Galen did as instructed, and returned both Squirtle and Grimer to their Poké Balls. Seer smiled, and led the way out of Pallet Town. The houses and the gossiping ladies were replaced by trees and glaring Pokémon. Galen was urged to climb ledges, as to avoid any encounter with these Pokémon; Seer explained that they only attack humans in the tall grass because they are trying to protect their own homes, and disturbing their peace would slow down the process of finishing the task at hand; which was what convinced Galen.

*​

It was a stormy night; the night Galen had left the circus in search of his parents’ past. Mr. Yarlott had hoped to stop him, but failed to do so, and it pained him to know that Galen could die at any second, and he would be held responsible by the rest of the circus for not protecting him.

Yet, the other members never blamed Mr. Yarlott for Galen leaving, nor did they think about it. They knew that it was Galen’s choice to leave, and some even thought that it was for the best; Raven Faeth was one of those people. She had failed to save his mother’s life, and held herself responsible for it, just as her father held himself responsible for Galen’s leaving. But she knew that the only way to attack someone who is inside the protection of the circus was by being inside the circus yourself.

‘And the only one who could have possible killed her was her own husband,’ Raven had insisted. ‘How else could she have been poisoned?’

‘He would never kill his own wife,’ Mr. Yarlott countered. ‘He loved her too much.’

‘Then how come he left the circus before she died? It’s the only possible explanation!’

‘Raven,’ he said in the most authoritative tone he could muster. ‘You’re suggesting a member of our own circus killed her, her husband, nonetheless, who was away at the time of her death. It is not the only explanation, and you know it.’

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

§3: In The Shadows

‘Oak is a strange man,’ said Seer. ‘The Oak you encountered. There is a different Oak; he’s an image to the public. You will often see him showing interest in Pokémon research, science, and displayed as the ultimate good of this world.’

‘I’m not surprised people would pretend,’ Galen said as he leaned further back onto the tree he was sitting against. ‘I’ve learned that a long time ago; people lie to keep an image.’

‘Including you, Galen. I know what you were taught, but the people at the circus are still people. I don’t know what Oak knows, nor do I wish to know; but I do know that people lie.’

‘Do you know something I should know?’

*​

Seer explained how the Viridian City Gym Leader had abandoned his position, and there was no current leader. Galen wasn’t sure whether or not to trust this information; Seer certainly seemed honest, yet he worked for Oak, someone who is definitely not honest. He stated questioning why he trusted Oak in the first place to tell him about his parents’ past; there was no evidence that he knew anything.

‘What do we do now?’ Galen asked; this Gym is out of the question, and there was no obvious destination to go to.

‘North,’ Seer explained. ‘To Pewter City. The Gym there is still open for challengers as far as I know, but nothing is certain right now. The absence of a Gym Leader and two Elite 4 members has left a paralysing effect of Kanto.’

‘What’s going to happen, then?’ Galen sighed; this might just be what stops him. ‘How am I supposed to do what I’m supposed to do if parts of the equation are missing?’

‘By following my orders, Galen,’ Seer sighed back, almost identical to Galen’s sigh. ‘We’re going north through Viridian Forest, and that’s our only available route of action.’

Without waiting for Galen’s response, Seer started walking away towards Route 2, and eventually, Viridian Forest. Galen went through the same experience of a residential area being replaced by a natural area, and for a while admired Kanto for not overcrowding the region with cities and towns.

‘May I ask you something, Galen?’ Seer started.

‘What is it?’

‘It’s a question,’ Seer said. ‘I’m just curious.’

‘Curious about what?’ Galen started to grow tired of Seer’s cryptic talk, and they hadn’t been traveling together for a day yet.

‘How come you don’t know the locations of all these places? I was under the impression you spent a year learning about Kanto.’

‘I learned about Pokémon,’ Galen corrected as he avoided the Pokémon’s natural habitat. ‘I know what most Pokémon specialise in, and what beats them.’

‘I see,’ Seer nodded his head. ‘Night is falling; we’ll camp in the Viridian Forest.’

It didn’t take long for the pair to reach their destination, and it wasn’t that different from Route 2 aside from a few more trees, and Seer decided to settle under one. It seemed larger than the rest, and was fairly close to the entrance; Route 2 was still visible to them.

‘Did you ever camp, Galen?’ Seer asked.

‘No, never,’ Galen replied. ‘I have traveled with the circus for a long time, and I have slept in tents before; that’s all we sleep in, actually.’

‘What about a campfire?’

‘We did it every once in while,’ Galen said. ‘It was a rare occasion, but when it happens, Mr. Yarlott tells us stories of his youth and his journey.’

‘I see,’ Seer nodded as he started climbing the tree. ‘Well, that’s basically what we will do.’

He disappeared into the leaves, and rustled in there for a few moments. Galen wanted to approach him, but he wasn’t sure if he should be standing under the tree at all.

‘Stand back,’ Seer confirmed Galen’s suspicions. ‘Did you step back?’

‘I’m already back,’ Galen sighed. ‘I never approached the tree.’

With a slump, a pile of cloth and metal sticks fell from the tree, and Seer soon followed. He started adjusting them, and it quickly became clear to Galen that he was making a tent. It was very small, would probably only fit one person, and the cloth was very thin and pale.

‘Go get some firewood, please,’ Seer said. ‘I’ll be done with this tent in a moment.’

Galen started walking away, in no direction in particular, and no proper instructions. He grabbed Squirtle’s Poké Ball and sent his Pokémon out as soon as Seer was out of sight. The little Pokémon sat on the ground, looked around, and then up at his trainer. Galen crouched, and brought himself down to his Pokémon level.

‘Hi, Squirtle,’ he started. ‘I never introduced myself, but here it is. My name is Galen, and I’m your new trainer.’

Squirtle clapped his hangs together and nodded with a delighted smile. Galen offered his hand for a shake, which Squirtle accepted with his two small palms.

‘It’s good to know we’re going to get along just well,’ Galen smiled; this was easier than he thought it would be. Mr. Yarlott always told stories about how some of his stronger Pokémon wouldn’t accept him easily as their trainer. ‘Alright, Squirtle, let’s give you a name first.’

Galen studied the Pokémon closely in search of a proper name; Mr. Yarlott did say that giving names helped you bond with your Pokémon; it makes them more than just a creature, a friend, or family. Squirtle was fairly small, and mostly blue except for his shell. His tail ended in a swirl.

‘Swirl!’ Galen exclaimed. ‘Do you like that?’

Squirtle, or Swirl as he was called, nodded delightfully again, and jumped onto his trainer. He clung onto Galen’s shirt, and made his way up to his head, where he settled and looked down at the human he would soon call a friend.

‘We have to get some firewood,’ Galen said. ‘It’s good that you climbed there though; you might see something I can’t see.’

Swirl slapped his palm slightly against his trainer’s forehead a few times to signify his willingness to help, and started looking around the forest. He quickly grew intimidated by the tall trees, and whatever was hiding in them. His head started switching from side to side quicker, and quicker, and quicker.

‘Can you, umm, stop doing that, Swirl?’ Galen chuckled. ‘I appreciate you trying to help, but I can’t really see clearly with you shaking my head along with you.’

‘Swirl is looking for me,’ a delicate, yet unstable female voice came out of the trees. ‘Swirl. That’s a nice name.’

Galen’s hands rose to meet his Pokémon who was shaking uncontrollably, and he was soon holding Swirl safely in his arms. The small Pokémon tightened his grip on Galen’s shirt, and held his Trainer desperately. Galen attempted comforting his Pokémon by placing his palm on Swirl’s shell before redirecting his attention to the trees.

A young female walked out in the most peculiar manner. Her arms floated behind her as she took slow, lazy steps, and her bare feet made no sound against the grass and the leaves. Her hair was long, and white, and her eyes were dark enough to draw everything to them.

‘Who are you?’ Galen muttered weakly; the sight of the girl intimidated him greatly, and he found himself effectively under her mercy.

‘My name? No, Galen, you’ll have to work for that,’ she said, and studied Galen for a few seconds. ‘I can see you’re surprised that I know your name, but should you really be? You’ve made yourself infamous by partnering yourself with Oak and his little slave, Seer.’

She studied him once again; he wasn’t as scared of her as she initially thought, he was just taken back by shock. She frowned before tilting her head to the side, and frowning even more, before her smile expanded, and she was looking at Galen as if he were a prey.

‘Seer isn’t telling you all he knows,’ she said as soon as Galen attempted to speak. ‘He will also try to kill me if he knew I was here and I spoke to you, which is why you shouldn’t tell him you ever met me.’

She returned to observing Galen, and waiting for him to speak, just to interrupt him again. ‘Your mother’s death wasn’t an accident,’ she said at the precise second she needed to shatter Galen’s guard. ‘She wasn’t sick; she was killed.’

Galen attempted speaking again, when she retaliated.

‘I was involved,’ she hurried through her sentence. ‘I was involved in her murder.’

They shared a long look that seemed to last forever.

‘I didn’t kill her,’ she said, interrupting Galen again. ‘But I was involved.’

She could see Galen’s anger and frustration rising; he had trouble containing himself. After all, someone did confess to killing his mother, while he thought she died of natural causes. Galen let Swirl slip through his hands, and after sliding down Galen’s side, he was eventually on the ground. Galen sighed, and paced towards the girl.

She slipped behind a tree as Galen reached her, and emerged on the other side. Her moves became quick, and her eyes were those of a playful child, a child with no innocence. Her hand tightened around Galen’s wrist, and her fingers dug into his throat.

‘When will you learn you’re supposed to listen?’ she said when Galen attempted to speak, frustration showing in her voice. ‘What more do I have to say to paralyse your tongue? Listen, Galen, listen to me. Listen!’

She pushed her face towards his, and kissed him so violently that he fell to the ground. Her tight grip over Galen’s throat and wrist dragged her down with him, and she was lying on top of him, still gripping him.

‘I now know how to silence you,’ she chuckled. ‘Everything I said is true, and I know you can sense that. You know when people lie, don’t you, Galen? Yes, you do. Confront Seer about Oak, and you won’t be disappointed.’

She pushed her lips to Galen’s ears. ‘I can see why Seer would enjoy your company,’ she said as she bit on his ear. ‘You’re not good enough.’

Galen dragged his arm across the grassy ground, or he attempted to. He found his body paralysed; this must be how she ‘silenced’ him. Swirl rushed to his side, and for a moment, Galen feared for his Pokémon; the girl would undoubtedly harm him if he tried to save Galen. But he quickly realised that she had left the scene, and probably the forest judging by the speed of her attack.

His fingers twitched uncontrollably, and his arm, the one he tried to move, suddenly slammed to his side, and pain overcame his body quickly. Galen let out an agonising scream while Swirl stayed by his side desperately.

‘Galen?’ Seer’s voice shot through the trees, as calm as ever, and all too familiar to the girl’s tone. ‘What happened to you?’

Galen slowly got up to see Seer emerging from the trees, and pacing to Galen’s side. ‘I-I fell,’ Galen lied. ‘And got attacked by some Pokémon. Swirl tried to… but couldn’t help me.’

He couldn’t tell Seer the truth; he must have known the girl somehow, and Galen never trusted his ‘course corrector’ since the start. Seer was hiding many things, and so was that girl; Galen couldn’t trust anyone.

Seer’s eyes shot to Swirl before returning to Galen. ‘You named him Swirl,’ he said. ‘That’s nice. Let’s go back to the camp.’

He extended his arm to Galen, and pulled him up before the pair walked back to their camp. Galen returned Swirl, who was even more nervous about the trees now, to his Poké Ball, and followed Seer silently.

Seer grabbed some wooden sticks along the way, and the pair was soon at the fire that Seer was attempting to start. The wood that fueled the fire was a perfect circle, as was the cutout in the tree Seer had climbed.

‘What can you tell me about Oak?’ Galen asked as he sat on the ground, ignoring the strange circle in the tree. He desperately wanted to break the silence, and Seer was sure to know something Galen doesn’t.

‘Oak is a strange man,’ said Seer, which took Galen back by surprise; Seer was suddenly willing to talk about his employer. ‘The Oak you encountered. There is a different Oak; he’s an image to the public. You will often see him showing interest in Pokémon research, science, and displayed as the ultimate good of this world.’

‘I’m not surprised people would pretend,’ Galen said as he leaned further back into the tree he was sitting against. ‘I’ve learned that a long time ago; people lie to keep an image.’

‘Including you, Galen. I know what you were taught, but the people at the circus are still people. I don’t know what Oak knows, nor do I wish to know; but I do know that people lie.’

‘Do you know something I should know?’

Seer took a long, hard look at Galen. ‘No,’ he simply said with a blank expression. ‘I don’t.’

 

[Flaze]

Well I read all three chapters and I liked it. I like how you show Oak as an antagonist and that Galen doesn't trust anyone, though I'd rather to get a better look at his past. Seer and the girl are also interesting characters, though that girl has a weird way of "silencing" people.

One thing though, I know it's only three chapters but not a lot goes on in your chapter so that's something to look out for.

This review was way better but I had to post it three times because it kept failing.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

Well I read all three chapters and I liked it. I like how you show Oak as an antagonist and that Galen doesn't trust anyone, though I'd rather to get a better look at his past. Seer and the girl are also interesting characters, though that girl has a weird way of "silencing" people.

Glad to see you liked them. We will get some more information about his past, but not just now.

One thing though, I know it's only three chapters but not a lot goes on in your chapter so that's something to look out for.

Yeah, I kinda noticed that too, but I'm going for the slow build-up method of this story. The start will be uneventful, but it all builds up to something.

This review was way better but I had to post it three times because it kept failing.

No problem. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

 

[Necrozma]

Well, this was interesting like most of your stories. Though just like Sky said, not much is happening but you already commented on that. And I actually like the girl, she's mysterious.

Honestly, I'm more interested into the question why Oak wants Galen to become a Champion just in order to take over the title rather than the death itself. But we'll see, perhaps things get more interesting. Not much to say about Seer, but I liked how you interpreted Oak. Some people do pretend in real lives. Keep it up, I'll be reading!

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

Well, this was interesting like most of your stories. Though just like Sky said, not much is happening but you already commented on that. And I actually like the girl, she's mysterious.

Thanks!

And the girl is strangely being well-recieved...

Honestly, I'm more interested into the question why Oak wants Galen to become a Champion just in order to take over the title rather than the death itself.

Well, I hope you won't be disappointed.

But we'll see, perhaps things get more interesting. Not much to say about Seer, but I liked how you interpreted Oak. Some people do pretend in real lives. Keep it up, I'll be reading!

Thanks for reading and commenting! I hope you like the upcoming chapters.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

§4: Chasing For Ghosts

‘What did you see in the trees?’ Seer began raising his voice. ‘Who did you talk to?’

‘Relax, Seer-’

‘Relax?! You could’ve killed the one person I care about with your irrational behavior!’

*​

The rays of the morning sun barely made it through the thick leaves and branches, and the heat she brought along with her comforted Galen more than any campfire could. The pair had been taking shifts to guard the camp all night, with the other taking a rest in the tent that Seer eventually took apart and returned to the tree.

The fire was almost impossible to put out, and the perfectly circular piece of wood was almost the same size, with the only signs of fire being the burned edges.

‘You can meet me here in an hour,’ Seer said. ‘I’ll be walking.’

‘Is that a morning routine of yours?’ Galen grinned. ‘You didn’t seem like the routine type.’

‘No, I guess not,’ Seer smiled. ‘But we’re all hiding something, aren’t we? Especially me, according to you; I just have a safe full of secrets, don’t I?’

With a smirk, Galen turned away from his travelling companion; he couldn’t stand the presence of Seer, not even for a few seconds. Galen started walking away, just as Seer began in the opposite direction. He wanted to look back, and pretend that it was the last time he’ll ever see Seer, but he knew it wasn’t true, and they will have to stick together for a long time if he wanted to find out about his family’s past.

Galen took a familiar turn. He recognised the way the branched tangled together, the imperfections in the earth’s skin, and the spot of grass where he remained paralysed. For a moment, he hoped that girl would show herself again, and not provoke him, but allow him to question her; she knew something about his parents, and even though he didn’t believe that his mother was killed, he knew there was a secret behind her death.

After all, why would the circus members, his friends, lie to him about his mother’s death? That place was much more peaceful than this world; he should’ve stayed there instead of chasing after whatever trail his parents created. What if what he finds is something horrible? What if they were serial killers, housed by the circus, or a pair of crazies that stole him from his real parents?

Over a year, he had been searching, yet the possibility of it being something other than what he expected never crossed his mind. And what did he expect? He couldn’t remember anymore. He caught himself standing over the spot where he first saw the girl, and snapped out of his thoughts by a rustle in the trees.

‘Deep in thoughts?’ the female voice laughed behind him. ‘That’s my spot; I stand there. Go somewhere else. I stand there.’

Galen started turning to face her, only to feel two palms on his back, and eventually, he was pushed out of where he was standing, and onto the path. He stumbled to regain his balance, and to prevent himself from crashing onto the grass, all while the girl laughed.

‘Hey, Galen, look at me,’ she said as soon as Galen was standing firm. ‘Notice something different?’ She patted her black outfit, and froze in a pose. ‘Look at me.’

‘I am looking,’ Galen said hopelessly. ‘Who are you?’

‘What’s different about me? Come on, Galen, you know it. You noticed it last time.’

‘Your outfit,’ Galen sighed; he tried hard to contain his anger, but this girl seemed more annoying that than. ‘Your outfit is different.’

‘What’s different about it, Galen? Come on, just say it.’

Galen looked to the sky, hoping that a tree would crush her and keep her pinned to the ground, before he faced her again. ‘You’re wearing one,’ said Galen. ‘You’re wearing an outfit.’

‘That can change if you want,’ she smiled. ‘We only kissed last night, but we can continue where we left off.’

She looked down to her shirt, and started unbuttoning it with a chuckle, though she soon felt fingers tightening around her throat. The hand pushed her against the trees with a slam that could have broke her spine. Her eyes shot up to meet Galen’s.

‘Tell me what you know,’ he said through clenched teeth. ‘What do you know about my parents?’

‘But my shirt, it’s only half undone,’ she laughed. ‘And you’re already getting started.’

‘Tell me!’

‘Don’t scream at me,’ she frowned. ‘I’m-’

Galen curled his hand into a fist and delivered a punch that knocked the girl onto the ground. It took her a few seconds to recognise that she was on the grass, and a few more for the pain to sink in. She held her palm against her left cheek, and turned to face Galen.

His hand shot again, and he held her throat once more. The back of her head smashed against the ground, and Galen brought his face close to hers; her eyes were the same dark holes that gravitated everything towards them, and fear was hard to spot, if it was there at all; it seemed as if she was enjoying this.

‘Tell me what you know. Now.’

‘I won’t,’ she laughed, blood trickling down her chin. ‘You know all that you need to know.’

‘If you don’t talk, I’ll have to-’

Her eyes searched Galen’s relentlessly, before a smile drew itself on her face as she recognised a figure behind him, and Galen fell to her side, unconscious. She got up slowly to exchange looks with her savior, and rushed to a tree, just at the edge of Galen’s sight, and waited. He somehow seemed more peaceful with his eyes closed, while everyone else would be afraid. Their expression would reflect their last thoughts, but not Galen’s; he seemed calm without the company of his consciousness.

Minutes passed, but eventually, Galen regained his mind. He was dazed, and the grass around him seemed like an endless pit. He pressed his hands against the floor, relying on the feeling in his hands rather than his eyes, and he slowly pushed himself up. His vision started clearing, and when it did, only one thing drew his attention.

The girl who knocked him to the ground twice, and who teased him about his mother’s death, stood amongst the trees, barely visible. A maniacal smile broke out across her face, and she began running away, while making some unnecessary maneuvers around vines and branches that wouldn’t have hindered her at all.

Without a second though, Galen ran after her. The echoes of her footsteps led his way, but unlike her, he had to dodge vines and branches, the same ones that were too high for her. She twirled around, causing her white silky hair to flow like a dress, before taking a turn behind a tree.

Galen started running faster; his senses had fully returned to him. He followed the girl, and took the same turn she took, but she was no longer in sight. He ran forward, battling his way through the branches and the thorns that attacked his exposed skin, but eventually, he came to a clearing, and a figure he was too familiar with stood.

‘I said I wanted to be alone,’ said Seer. ‘Why did you follow me, Galen?’

Galen’s pupils darted across the area, desperately searching for the girl, and of course, he couldn’t tell Seer about her; the two had some sort of history between them, and that could potentially ruin Galen’s chances of fulfilling Oak’s request, a chance he wasn’t willing to take for the sake of finding someone who might as well be crazy.

‘I didn’t follow you,’ explained Galen. ‘I didn’t know you were here, and I was chasing the Pokémon that had attacked me.’

‘You seem hurt,’ Seer pointed at the obvious bleeding wounds Galen suffered. ‘And you’re bleeding.’

‘I’m aware of that,’ sighed Galen. ‘Would you like to point out the trees as well?’

‘They are quite lovely,’ echoed Seer, much to Galen’s annoyance. ‘Come here, I’ll take care of those cuts.’

‘That won’t be necessary; I can take care of myself.’

‘But it’s my job, and I quite like looking after you,’ Seer smiled. ‘You’re like a child I used to know.’

Galen frowned, but surrendered himself over to Seer’s care. They walked back to their camp, where Seer started fiddling with a first aids kit and Galen’s wounds; he had suffered a few cuts on his arms and cheeks.

The area around them was brighter now that the sun was fully out of the clouds, and her rays shone through the leaves and the trees around them, almost like the spotlight of the stage back at the circus.

The haze of his memories produced the figure of a dancing girl. The light followed her as she moved her body with slow, elegant moves, and raised her leg above her head, next to her own mother. Ilanit and Raven, the pallet dancers of the circus. These two always fascinated him; they were amongst the few who performed without Pokémon along their side, but he was especially impressed with Ilanit.

She was a year younger than him with hair that resembled silk, and eyes that pierced through whatever they landed on. She was more determined than Galen, and her efforts went into obeying her mother’s orders. Galen was convinced that Ilanit would be the best leader of the circus; she was the granddaughter of Mr. Yarlott.

Her mother, though, was drawn as a picture of a bad omen in his mind, only because she was the one who informed him of his mother’s death. Raven was a very strict parent, and even though Galen wasn’t her son, she made sure he grew up to become the person he was; a determined person who would stop at nothing to get what he wants, just like Ilanit, and Raven herself.

He remembered all the others he had left behind at the circus, in search for a past that would probably not benefit him at all. He left where he belonged, and ran away from those who cared for him.

‘I’m sorry, I’ll be more gentle,’ said Seer. ‘You should’ve said something.’

‘What are you saying?’ Galen snapped back into reality.

‘You’re tearing up,’ Seer pointed at Galen’s eyes. ‘I assume I was a little too rough.’

‘I wasn’t aware of that,’ said Galen. ‘Maybe something got in my eye.’

‘Sure, something got in your eye.’

Seer returned to treating Galen’s wounds, and the awkwardness between the two seemed to rise; something that Galen didn’t think was possible.

‘Just for the record, Galen,’ started Seer. ‘You lie, just like everyone else.’

 

[Necrozma]

I keep liking the girl more and more.

Nice chapter, not much happened it so I can't say much either. I just hope Seer and Galen become something like friends or companions in the near future. Keep it up!

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

I keep liking the girl more and more.

Nice chapter, not much happened it so I can't say much either. I just hope Seer and Galen become something like friends or companions in the near future. Keep it up!

Really? The girl who runs around naked in Viridian Forest? By now I was sure people would hate her... Galen and Seer, they will become something...

Thanks for reading and commenting!

 

[Necrozma]

Oh no, a girl who volunteers to kiss you and is naked at the same time should be well received, especially by the male fandom.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

Oh no, a girl who volunteers to kiss you and is naked at the same time should be well received, especially by the male fandom.

I didn't think about it that way... But I see what you mean. I guess she doesn't affect me because I know stuff...

 

[Flaze]

So there's an even bigger mystery than what we thought, the girl not only knows something but wants something as well and she seems to be crazy, I need a name though. Galen seems to be more violent than I thought though but he's an anti hero so I shouldn't expect much, anyway thanks to this chapter I think I found something interesting.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

So there's an even bigger mystery than what we thought, the girl not only knows something but wants something as well and she seems to be crazy, I need a name though. Galen seems to be more violent than I thought though but he's an anti hero so I shouldn't expect much, anyway thanks to this chapter I think I found something interesting.

Bigger mystery, yes. The girl knows something, maybe. She wants something, maybe. She seems crazy, probably is. Name, not yet.

As for Galen being violent, she did provoke him, and as you said, he's not the "Ultimate Hero" type of main character.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

§5: Compromised

‘Tell me what you know. Now.’

‘I won’t,’ she laughed, blood trickling down her chin. ‘You know all that you need to know.’

‘If you don’t talk, I’ll have to-’

*​

The rays of the morning sun barely made it through the thick leaves and branches. The pair had been taking shifts to guard the camp all night, with the other taking a rest in the tent that Seer eventually took apart and returned to the tree.

The fire was almost impossible to put out, and the perfectly circular piece of wood was almost the same size, with the only signs of fire being the burned edges.

‘You can meet me here in an hour,’ Seer said. ‘I’ll be walking.’

‘Is that a morning routine of yours?’ Galen grinned. ‘You didn’t seem like the routine type.’

‘No, I guess not,’ Seer smiled. ‘But we’re all hiding something, aren’t we? Especially me, according to you; I just have a safe full of secrets, don’t I?’

Seer turned away quickly, not wanting anything Galen might say to stop him. He had to take a break from their interactions, and the long night didn’t help. He passed many familiar trees, and many new ones; the forest had changed a lot since he had last been here, but one thing wouldn’t be able to change, and he made sure of that.

A single right turn, and he arrived at a clearing. The grass in that particular area was yellow, as opposed to the thick green of the rest of the forest, the trees made a perfect circle, only splitting apart at the opening to the vast field Seer had walked to the center of.

‘Hello, friend,’ he knelt down and hovered his hand above the grass, which shivered upwards, as if trying to shake Seer’s hand. ‘I made a promise that I would visit you, and here I am. It’s been more than a year; I’m not sure if time passes by the same for you, but it has been more than a year, and in case you forgot, that’s a very long time to me. I missed you.’

The trees shivered along with the grass, and produced a slight whistle that matched Seer’s faded whispers. Fallen leaves flew to him, and started circling around him like a typhoon that grew broader, and covered the entire field in it’s calm.

‘Hello, Seer,’ her voice broke the silence; the leaves fell to the ground, the grass and the trees stopped moving, and Seer jumped back up to his feet. ‘Still dwelling in the past, I see.’

Seer’s words escaped him, and he found himself at her mercy. She took slow steps towards him, as if gliding through the air, and she settled just a few meters in front of him. She studied the area around them, before turning back to Seer.

‘You should’ve allowed the grass to grow here,’ she frowned. ‘It’s not nice how you stopped everything here. It’s like you stopped time, right?’

‘Why are you here?’ he finally said. ‘We’re are not allowed to even see each other.’

‘Because a certain paranoid woman said so,’ she sighed. ‘Yes, I remember, but she knows how I am, and I can’t possibly stop myself from seeing you. I love you, Seer, more than anything in the world, and I know you don’t love me back.’

‘I hate you,’ Seer corrected. ‘More than anything. But love and hate is the same to you, isn’t it?’

‘You’re too rude to me,’ she stomped her foot, and crossed her arms. ‘You’re always trying to hurt me. I don’t like it.’

‘You should go away,’ Seer said. ‘Before Galen sees you.’

‘Speaking of which, I saw someone in the forest,’ she smiled. ‘He was interesting to say the least.’

‘Who was it?’ Seer said, trying hard to keep his calm; he knew she wanted to provoke him.

‘How much is that information worth to you?’ she smiled. ‘What would you do to get it from me?’

‘Just tell me.’

‘No,’ she insisted. ‘That will just have to wait.’

‘What did you see in the trees?’ Seer began raising his voice. ‘Who did you talk to?’

‘Relax, Seer-’

‘Relax?! You could’ve killed the one person I care about with your irrational behavior!’

She took a long pause in which she observed Seer. ‘It was Galen,’ she sighed. ‘I spoke to him yesterday. I know I’m not allowed to, but I couldn’t resist. And don’t scream at me.’

‘Why would you go against our orders?’ Seer said, his voice becoming calm once more. ‘You know what’s at stake here.’

‘Fine, I’ll stop,’ she said, waving her hands in the air frantically. ‘Just let me talk to him one last time. I promise I won’t tell him anything.’

‘No, it’s too dangerous,’ Seer said, stepping away from the girl, and back to his previous spot. ‘But knowing you, my words don’t matter.’

He dropped to the ground, and sat in the center of the clearing. He knew that telling Galen about who the girl was, and her connection would endanger many lives, but Galen wasn’t dense; he probably figured there was a connection between Seer the girl, and that would just make him more distrusting throughout their time travelling together.

A rustle drew Seer’s attention to the side of the clearing, where Galen had just emerged. He searched the area before landing his eyes on Seer.

‘I said I wanted to be alone,’ said Seer. ‘Why did you follow me, Galen?’

‘I didn’t follow you,’ explained Galen. ‘I didn’t know you were here, and I was chasing the Pokémon that had attacked me.’

‘You seem hurt,’ Seer pointed at the obvious bleeding wounds Galen suffered. ‘And you’re bleeding.’

‘I’m aware of that,’ sighed Galen. ‘Would you like to point out the trees as well?’

‘They are quite lovely,’ echoed Seer, much to Galen’s annoyance. ‘Come here, I’ll take care of those cuts.’

‘That won’t be necessary; I can take care of myself.’

‘But it’s my job, and I quite like looking after you,’ Seer smiled. ‘You’re like a child I used to know.’

Galen frowned, but surrendered himself over to Seer’s care. They walked back to their camp, where Seer started fiddling with a first aids kit and Galen’s wounds; he had suffered a few cuts on his arms and cheeks. Galen seemed distant, and deep in his thoughts when Seer spoke.

‘I’m sorry, I’ll be more gentle,’ said Seer. ‘You should’ve said something.’

‘What are you saying?’ Galen snapped back into reality.

‘You’re tearing up,’ Seer pointed at Galen’s eyes. ‘I assume I was a little too rough.’

‘I wasn’t aware of that,’ said Galen. ‘Maybe something got in my eye.’

‘Sure, something got in your eye.’

Seer returned to treating Galen’s wounds, and the awkwardness between the two seemed to rise; something that Galen didn’t think was possible.

‘Just for the record, Galen,’ started Seer. ‘You lie, just like everyone else.’

‘How would you know?’

‘There’s something you should know, Galen,’ Seer said, ignoring Galen’s previous question. ‘Quite a number of things that you should know. As you have accused me of so many times, I am hiding a lot of things from you. They’re for your own good, as well as many others, who could lose their lives if I do anything wrong. You will encounter some interesting people along the way, you can tell them whatever you want, but not what happened in this forest, especially the girl.’

‘Who was she?’ Galen said, drawing the one detail he wanted into attention; Seer knew the girl.

‘You don’t need to know,’ said Seer. ‘Just forget her, she shouldn’t bother you again, and if she does, you should let me know.’

‘She said she knew about my family,’ Galen said. ‘Do you know what happened, too?’

‘No, and she lied,’ Seer said. ‘Just one of the many reasons why you shouldn’t trust her.’

‘How can I trust you?’ Galen said. ‘You could be lying as well.’

‘At least I’m not trying to kill you.’

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

§6: A Life Behind

It was a stormy night; the night Galen had left the circus in search of his parents’ past. Mr. Yarlott had hoped to stop him, but failed to do so, and it pained him to know that Galen could die at any second, and he would be held responsible by the rest of the circus for not protecting him.

The boy was young when he joined the circus along with his parents, and the energy he brought with him revived all members of the circus. Mr. Yarlott remembered the day clearly, when his wife was on her deathbed, and her last words were that of assurance, but they weren’t helpful.

‘Dad?’ Raven’s voice drew him out of his tangled memories. ‘Are you okay?’

He looked at his daughter, and gave a faint smile. She was as beautiful as she had always been, taking after her mother with her long blonde hair and hazel eyes. She sat next to her father, and held his hand.

‘What are you thinking about?’

‘What all old men think about,’ said Mr. Yarlott. ‘The past. We’ve had this conversation before, and I don’t think my time is long. The circus will be in your hands when I die.’

‘Don’t think like that,’ said Raven. ‘You might think it’s making this easier for me, but I can’t bear it when I hear you talking about your death. We’ll all die someday, and that fact doesn’t make the journey any easier.’

‘You’ll understand when you’re old,’ said Mr. Yarlott. ‘When you’ve seen all there is to see in your lifetime.’

‘I’m already old, dad,’ said Raven. ‘I’ve already passed my forties.’

‘Age doesn’t determine that,’ said Mr. Yarlott. ‘You’re uncomfortable with the idea of death; you’re still young. Did I ever tell you about how your mother came up with your name?’

‘No, you didn’t,’ said Raven, giving a faint smile. ‘It would seem like one of the first things you should’ve told me.’

‘It just slipped from my mind,’ Mr. Yarlott chuckled. ‘Well, you see, Vivan had been reading various baby books, trying to find a name for you. She couldn’t find anything, and you know how women get when they’re pregnant.’

‘Yes, I was one myself.’

‘She ripped the books, and scattered them all on the floor. She tore the pages into strips, and when she calmed down, she arranged them into her name. With it she arranged a random name right below hers; Raven, and that’s how you were named.’

‘That’s not very eventful,’ said Raven. ‘I thought the story would be more glamorous than that.’

‘Just be thankful we didn’t name you Jiakk, or Thi, a space, L,’ Mr. Yarlott laughed. ‘Raven was the only comprehensive name on that list. It was almost like-‘

‘Fate.’

*​

City after city, the brown Pokémon teleported Ilanit, immediately splitting up in search for Galen, then meeting again and teleporting once more. She would grab the Pokémon’s wrist as the two spoons glowed with a pink hue, and their surrounding was completely replaced.

‘Okay, I’ll go to the museum,’ said Ilanit. ‘Hurry.’

With a nod, the Alakazam teleported away, and Ilanit ran towards the building. Her dress was battered, and the flower pattern had been mudded and faded. It had been years since she last wore it. Ilanit grew out of the dress, and putting it on after so long was uncomfortable, to say the least.

Her blonde hair was flowing behind her as she ran, and like the dress, it was unkempt. As she ran she desperately shouted Galen’s name, ignoring the many looks she received from anyone whose eyes fell on the girl.

She had to find him, and bring him with her. She grew desperate, and her eyes started welling up with tears. Her run quickly deteriorated into a walk, and she stood there, willing her tears to stop. Her heart felt horrible, and she wished to just rip it out and be done with it.

She couldn’t cry; she had to find Galen. Taking a deep breath, one after the other, she pushed all thoughts out of her mind, all thoughts but those of Galen. Would she even recognise the boy if she didn’t see his face? Yes, his outfit couldn’t be missed, and Ilanit hoped he would be wearing it.

She rushed once more, and barged into the museum. A woman tried to stop her, but Ilanit rushed to the staircase, still shouting the name. Two security guards rushed towards and grabbed her, leading her to the exit. Ilanit struggled, only because they were too slow. Galen wasn’t in the museum; if he was in any of the two floors, he would’ve heard her voice.

The two men pushed Ilanit out of the front door, and she would have stumbled to the ground had she not started running towards the Alakazam. The Pokémon was turning around frantically, searching for the young woman.

‘Atrex!’ Ilanit shouted, prompting the Alakazam’s attention. ‘Over here!’

Atrex extended her hand, and the spoons took on the pink hue again. Ilanit was about to grab her wrists when she saw a figure in black and crimson. She quickly drew back her hand, less than a second before Alakazam teleported away, and reappeared at her side.

She offered the girl her hand again, but Ilanit refused to teleport away. She pointed at Galen, speechless as the small figure approached. He was crouched; the same walk as always, hair as dark as the night, exactly as she remembered him.

Atrex wrapped her hand around Ilanit’s waist, and the pair zoomed forward.

‘Galen!’

His head flung upwards, but a red-haired boy quickly blocked her view.

‘Who are you?’

‘That’s Ilanit, calm down,’ said Galen, pushing Seer aside. ‘What are you doing here?’

Galen would have been glad to see her had she not been panting and looked distressed. He walked over to her, and placed his hand on her shoulder.

‘Ilanit?’ said Galen. ‘Are you okay?’

It was then that he noticed Atrex; she was panting as well. The brown Pokémon had clearly pushed her limits, and she wasn’t as young as she had been, her thin face showing signs of her true age.

Ilanit’s hand rested on Galen’s shoulder as she almost fell, the boy immediately supporting her.

‘You’re scaring me, tell me what’s wrong!’

Seer took a step back, hanging his head as he did so. Ilanit threw one glance his way before she turned to Galen. Once again, she started tearing up.

‘It’s grandpa,’ said Ilanit. ‘He passed away.’

‘Mr. Yarlott?’

He hoped it wouldn’t be real, but Ilanit gave a nod. Galen let out the breath he had been holding. How could Mr. Yarlott die? Galen’s stand started waning, and like Ilanit, he almost broke into tears. Going away was too stupid of him; running from the circus was the biggest mistake of his life. He didn’t say his goodbyes to Mr. Yarlott, assuming that he would always return and live the rest of his life with everyone at the circus. But now he was gone.

‘His funeral is in two hours,’ said Ilanit, trying hard to regain her stability. ‘I want you to come with me.’

‘I will…’ said Galen with a weak voice, throwing an expectant look at Atrex.

‘I’m sorry for your loss,’ said Seer. ‘I really am, but I can’t let you go alone, Galen. You know why.’

Seer took another step back, trying as hard as he could to blend into the environment. Atrex studied the young boy, and he knew that it was too late, and at that realisation, he stepped forward once more.

‘Atrex can carry three people,’ said Galen, his hate for his companion had reached new heights. ‘We’ll just bring you with us.’

‘Fine,’ said Seer, giving a challenging stare that Atrex returned. ‘Lead the way.’

The red-haired boy walked over to the group, and held Galen’s hand; he felt sick that he had any sort of physical connection to Seer. Ilanit held Atrex, and in an instant, the group was teleported away. The buildings became small, and a single tower stood tall amongst them.

‘This is Lavender Town,’ said Seer, observing the city. ‘Will the funeral be here?’

‘This is where Mr. Yarlott was born,’ Galen said, pulling his hand away. ‘And this is where he spent all of his childhood.’

‘Come with me,’ said Ilanit, leading Galen to a familiar sight. ‘We need to get changed.’

Seer would have followed had Atrex not given his a stern look. He clearly wasn’t welcome in the circus.

*​

It was the same bed his wife had died on. The white sheets now covered Mr. Yarlott, his breaths becoming clear and forced. Right by his side, on the chair he had once sat on, was Raven, holding back her tears as her father was dying before her eyes.

‘Raven,’ Mr. Yarlott spoke weakly. ‘I want you to take care of Atrex.’

‘I will, dad, don’t worry,’ said Raven through silent sobs. ‘I’ll take care of everything.’

Once again, Mr. Yarlott’s breaths filled the room with their deathly noise, always reminding Raven that she was about to lose her father.

‘Bury me at Lavender,’ said Mr. Yarlott. ‘I forgot to tell you; make sure to bury me at Lavender.’

‘Thank you for telling me,’ said Raven. ‘I’ll make sure to do that.’

‘I want to speak with Ilanit,’ said Mr. Yarlott. ‘Say goodbye to my granddaughter.’

‘I’m right here, grandpa,’ said Ilanit, stepping into the small carriage. Her face was flowing with tears. ‘What did you want to say to me?’

‘Ah, Ilanit,’ Mr. Yarlott smiled. ‘Take care of your mother, and help her like she helped me.’

‘I will, grandpa,’ said Ilanit. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you, Ilanit,’ said Mr. Yarlott. ‘Don’t leave.’

Ilanit had been walking towards the door, but upon her grandfather’s words, she pulled a chair and sat next to her mother. Raven reached towards her father, wrapping her hands around his own, and giving a soft kiss.

‘Say, dad, you never told me,’ she couldn’t even control herself anymore. Her sobs became audible. ‘How did you and my mother pick my name?’

‘Did I not tell you?’ said Mr. Yarlott. ‘It would seem like an important thing to tell you.’

‘It would.’

‘Well, listen to the story,’ said Mr. Yarlott, his face shining as he started. ‘Your mother was pregnant with you, well into her seventh month, and she was reading all these name books but couldn’t find anything that clicked with her. She became angry, and tore them apart, littering the floor with the pages. When she calmed down, she rearranged them to form her name, and with it, the word “Raven” appeared, and that’s how she picked your name.’

‘That’s a great story, dad.’

‘It’s not very glamorous…’ said Mr. Yarlott, his eyes slowly closing as his words turned into mumbles, and his breaths stopped with a last exhale.

 

[ShinyFlareon]

An interesting story overall, but I think the biggest problem is pacing. You're rushing through most scenes, and the description doesn't take enough time to really immerse the reader in them. It feels like you're just throwing the sentences out there without really giving them the chance to sink in. I think the story needs to slow down and really delve into the details of scenes, characters, and conversations. the story has a lot of potential, but right now, it all feels superficial.

The flashbacks also seem oddly placed, and really break up the flow of the chapters. We don't need to be presented with a flashback of an event right after the event was mentioned in the main story. The small intros to the chapters also seem unnecessary; we're going to read that exact dialogue later in the chapter, so if you're trying to start chapters in media res in order to get people more interested in the chapters, it doesn't seem to be working.

However, you do have a great idea with this story. I think with a little more patience and detail in building the setting and relationships, this could be a really great story. I'm curious as to why Oak is apparently evil - if there was a reason given already, I missed it, and right now it seems kind of arbitrary - and why he's got Silver doing less than ethical things for him. I also didn't understand who the strange girl in the forest was, and it took me a while to realize that she was trying to seduce Galen. I'm very curious to see where this is going next.

 

[Kyuuketsuki]

An interesting story overall, but I think the biggest problem is pacing. You're rushing through most scenes, and the description doesn't take enough time to really immerse the reader in them. It feels like you're just throwing the sentences out there without really giving them the chance to sink in. I think the story needs to slow down and really delve into the details of scenes, characters, and conversations. the story has a lot of potential, but right now, it all feels superficial.

I never thought of that before; I'll keep that in mind next time I'm writing any chapter.

The flashbacks also seem oddly placed, and really break up the flow of the chapters. We don't need to be presented with a flashback of an event right after the event was mentioned in the main story. The small intros to the chapters also seem unnecessary; we're going to read that exact dialogue later in the chapter, so if you're trying to start chapters in media res in order to get people more interested in the chapters, it doesn't seem to be working.

Regarding the intros, I did see that problem, which is why I had cut them in the latest chapter. I was trying to tell a secondary story in the flashbacks, but I'll think of a way to make them more informative, and make the transitions smoother. You're right, now that I look back on them, they do seem unnecessary when all they do is retell known information, with very little new details.

However, you do have a great idea with this story. I think with a little more patience and detail in building the setting and relationships, this could be a really great story. I'm curious as to why Oak is apparently evil - if there was a reason given already, I missed it, and right now it seems kind of arbitrary - and why he's got Silver doing less than ethical things for him. I also didn't understand who the strange girl in the forest was, and it took me a while to realize that she was trying to seduce Galen. I'm very curious to see where this is going next.

Actually, Seer is based on "Seer" from the TCG, not Silver. And everything else should become clearer as the story goes on. I really appreciate your comments, and I'll keep them in mind. Thank you for reading and reviewing!