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Why am I afraid to make mistakes?

matt0044

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Whenever I try to outline my fanfic, I have this fear that make me put it off over the fear that I haven't thought everything out yet. It's an outline so I can fix things for the final version but it's like I feel afraid of being criticized when there's literally nobody to see what I've put down. Am I stupid? Am I a coward? Why can't I accept that I can make mistakes in this case?
 
You're not a coward. A lot of writers go through this. I'm not a psych major, so I don't know all what goes into this, but I do that I have similar tendencies at times.
 
This is very common. I feel these things often myself. The best advice I can give is to press on and try not to worry about what others will think until all is said and done.
 
Because you're a human being and other human beings looking at and judging your personal creations are fucking terrifying.
 
Because you wrote the story and don't want to be told your creation is wrong, boring or that the core of the inspiration would better change to suit one critic. The truth is that we're all critics. There's always something we see wrong that we tend to look for in every story we read. Someone complaining about your character design? That's because they were either specifically looking for flaws or have enough experience to point out such flaws. Either way, it's their opinion.
 
Because no matter how much effort you put into it, no matter how much you have polished it, you never feel that it's truly ready. You can read it and re-read it and go over it then out of the blue, you think, "If I had done (X) differently, then (Y) would have been so much better." Because you can always see ways of improving it, no matter how much you've edited. Because you want it to be completely perfect and no matter what you do, it never really will be. At least, it won't be to you.

Trust me, I've been there. It sucks. I can edit something a thousand times over and still think, "What am I doing?! This isn't even close to ready!" When you put a story out, you've literally put a piece of your heart out in the open and that is utterly terrifying.
 
I always feel like I'm comparing myself to other works. Like I can't be satisfied being just a good writer, I need to be perfect. Why is it so hard not to please everyone? Why am I trying to be the best?

I always need to remind myself that it's okay to be mediocre for the outline and improve from there, that it's okay to not have a hue intricate storyline so readers can fawn at you, that it's okay to not be so outstanding. Yet a part of me makes me so scared, it's agonizing.
 
It's not OK to be mediocre, but neither is it OK to compare yourself to other writers. You start doing that and eventually you'll be asking yourself "What would THEY do?" That's when your story goes to crap because it's no longer your story. Use your favorite writer as an example, but also critique their work.

Did you know every characters name in the Harry Potter series defines their role? You don't need a novel to tell where the story is going.
 
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