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MATURE: - Complete Will(OT, PG13)

T

The Pig King

The Golden Boy
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Well, an idea popped into my head, and I decided to write a new fic. The premise is that after the events of DP?, Team Galactic became a police force, and fought what they once were, criminals. Unfortunately, about twenty years later, they recieved an offer, from an unknown source. With that offer came a threat, and those who didn't take it would die. Here's the prologue, following the last surviving Galactic Agent that hadn't taken the offer. It's shorter than usual, but I didn't want to drag it out too much.

Will

Prologue

Run. Flee. Escape. Those were the only words in his mind at that moment, as he sped, on foot, through the snowy edges of the Mount Coronet Range. He couldn’t think of anything else, he had to warn the citizens of Snowpoint, and all residents of Sinnoh, of what he knew. Focused on this, he did not see the dark, ominous shadow behind him.

“That’s enough running, Sol,” uttered a voice, coming from behind him, “It’s time to die.” Just then, a man suddenly swooped in, stepping in front of him. The man wore a cruel glare and a sinister smile upon his face. This appearance was complimented by the unkempt silvery hair upon his head. More surprising, though, were the seemingly infinite number of lines and numbers that covered his otherwise white robe.

“N-Numbers! How did you catch me? I thought I blocked the exit! You can’t be here right now! You just can’t!” He was full of fear, which was evident upon his face. “D-don’t kill me! Please!”

“I’m sorry, Sol, but you’re going to die right here,” Numbers, as this man was called, drew a long blade from his waist, “If you’d simply stayed, I’d only have killed you,” Using this blade, Numbers slashed forward, severing Sol’s arm, “three quarters,” Again, with the same blade, Numbers lunged forward, slicing off the other arm, “of the way!” In a final lunge, Numbers severed Sol’s legs. Sol screamed, seething in pain.

“But now,” Numbers cruelly grinned, “you’re going to die 150 percent!” He stowed his blade, instead drawing from his back a long, iron chain. “Normally, I’d have handed you over to the Abecedarians, and let A2Z handled you. But now, you’ve been a thorn in my side in both professional and personal manners. You were even about to let all of Sinnoh know about our plans. You know what the Silent Blanks do to traitors and nonbelievers.”

“You can’t! You’re mad to think that you can pull something of that scale of! You’ll never succeed, and you shouldn’t have dragged Galactic into it! We had turned over a new leaf, until you came and forced us to become what we had worked out lifetimes to stop!”

“You’re the fool, Sol. You’re going to die because you wouldn’t comply to the orders of Silent Blank, and you’re calling me mad? Once we unlock the true power of the Orb of Nothingness, we’ll be able to destroy all! Now, as I said earlier, prepare to die! Come forth, Lord of Silence!”

A huge, bright beam of light surrounded the icy areas of the Mount Coronet Range. Sol’s screams echoed throughout the mountains, and then, stopped. Numbers walked away, chuckling to himself. “I suppose you could consider this a 150 percent success.”

End of Prologue
 
Well, I must admit that the premise got me interested. Team Galactic as a police force, huh? The first paragraph was suspenseful, but afterward, I don't know, it kind of progressed into nothing special. Numbers seems to be your average evil-sinister-conniving character, and his whole quirk of spouting off percentages or fractions made me completely unable to take him seriously. For what little there was to know, I kind of liked Sol, but...the Orb of Nothingness and Lord of Silence just sounds...I'm sorry, it just sounds incredibly lame. That said, I'll continue looking back here for updates.
 
Well, his name is numbers. I admit, though, that that stuff sounded lame, even to me. Numbers is the typical evil guy, yeah. I'll try to work on his personality, the next time he appears. Also, the main character will debut in the next chapter, dealing with the rebanding Team Rocket-again. They've got from a major threat to a minor annoyance.
 
Okay, the first paragraph explaining what this story was about made me go "WTF?" but upon actually reading the story, I found it quite interesting. I found the whole 150% thing awkward though...
 
I'm not quite sure how the 150 percent thing works either. I'll probably figure it out by the next time it appears.
 
Chapter One: Revival

Brendan groaned as he ducked behind the walls of the dark, gloomy building where Team Rocket had yet again set up headquarters. He regretted choosing to handle their revival, because it now seemed to turn out as a bore. The first few times, he was excited, as he was expecting to thwart grand plans of world domination. And the first few times, that’s what he did.

After that, though, many of their members began to lose hope, and left the organization in search of a new life. The situation became duller and duller, until it had become what it was now; a bore. He simply had to swing in, defeat a few of the higher-ups, and walk out. Today, he expected, would be the same as every day.

As he ran into the next room, he found not an ordinary, dull, square room, but a bustling factory, full of activity. Great, he thought, I’ve found them. As the men began to spot him, he saw fingers being pointed towards him, and accusations being made. As the men began to charge, he simply stepped around the large mass, and ran forward to see two people, a man and a woman, directing this operation.

The man wore a formal-looking suit, and had neatly combed black hair upon his head, making him seem like a businessman. The woman wore similarly formal clothing, and long, lustrous, neatly combed, red hair lay atop her head. “You again?” the man asked, “I figured you’d get bored by now. Either way, our grand scheme is about to be unveiled!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s the same thing you say every day,” Brendan replied, “And every day, I thrash you two, and yet you still refuse to learn a lesson. Let’s do it, I guess.” Brendan drew two red and white Poke Balls from his belt, and tossed them into the air. They each let loose a blinding white light, and two Pokemon emerged from them.

In front of Brendan stood a fiery Blaziken, a human-shaped martial artist, with white feathers sprouting from its head. Beside Blaziken stood a Lucario, a blue, human-shaped, but surprisingly dog-like, martial artist, which seemed to be made of steel.

“Bring it on, child, and prepare for a beating,” said the man, as he tossed his own Poke Ball into the air, which dissolved into an equally blinding white light, leaving an ominous-looking Magmortar standing in front of him.

“Yeah, prepare for a beating,” the woman responded, as she tossed her own Poke Ball into the air, letting out even more blinding light, which left a powerful-appearing Electivire looming in front of her. “Electivire, blast that Blaziken with some Thunderbolts!” she shouted.

“Magmortar, fire some flames at that Lucario!” After these two commands, both Pokemon nodded, and unleashed their devastating attacks. As Electivire let loose the blinding electricity, Blaziken merely sidestepped it, as Lucario leapt over the searing flames flung at it. As Brendan looked back, he saw that the attacks had left holes in the wall.

“Allright, you two, you’ve dodged their hits, now hit them with some kicks!” Brendan commanded. His Pokemon nodded, as they sped up in front of the opposing Pokemon. Blaziken let loose a series of kicks upon Magmortar, while Lucario unleashed a steady barrage of punches and kicks upon Electivire.

“They’re right in front of you! Get ready, and K.O. them with a Fire Blast, Magmortar!” shouted the man, commanding his Pokemon.

“Electivire, hit it with a Thunder attack!” shouted the woman. The two Pokemon prepared their attacks, and as they unleashed them, devastation filled the room. Magmortar aimed its arms, and let loose a flaming inferno upon Lucario, knocking it to the ground. A similar result was unleashed upon Blaziken, as he was electrocuted by the devastating bolt of lighting.

“Blaziken, Lucario, get up!” Brendan shouted, “You can’t lose now!” As if responding to this, the two Fighting Pokemon rose from the ground, although they staggered slightly. “Now, Lucario, sharpen your focus and use Focus Punch! Blaziken, make sure it’s not interrupted!”

“Magmortar, get in there and make sure it is interrupted!” the man shouted, “Fire as many flames as you can!”

“Electivire, divert the Blaziken so that it can’t help!” shouted the woman. As the two Pokemon dove in, Blaziken attempted to block them both with a swinging kick. The two Pokemon jumped, and, dodging the kick, Magmortar launched several fireballs, aiming for Lucario. These attacks flew to nearly an inch from Lucario’s face when it charged forward, ducking under them.

Lucario’s fist began to glow, as tremendous amounts of energy gathered in its hand. As Lucario ran forward, this energy compacted itself, surrounding its fist, as Lucario swung its arm forward, letting loose all of this energy in a single punch towards Magmortar’s chest. Magmortar was blown back, and slammed into the wall, unconscious.

“Electivire, take them both out with Hyper Beam!” A large orb of energy began to focus in Electivire’s palms. This orb grew larger and larger still, until it was the size of Electivire itself. This orb began to spin, and then launched a huge, glowing beam of energy toward Brendan, Blaziken, and Lucario.

“Jump! Don’t get hit!” Brendan shouted. Obeying, Blaziken and Lucario leapt into the air, but couldn’t get high enough, and so, most of both of their bodies were hit with the beam, knocking them to the ground, staggering. Brendan looked towards them, and saw that Lucario was unconscious, and that Blaziken was nearly the same.

“Damn!” the man and woman shouted, in unison. “How could we have lost?” Brendan was confused, but, after looking forward, he saw that the Hyper Beam’s recoil had knocked out the Electivire.

“Why don’t you just give up? This is the sixth time this week you’ve tried to reband the organization! Just quit, because it’s never going to work, and I’m getting bored trying to stop you!”

“Don’t, then,” said the man, “because we’re never going to quit. Some of our men may see differently, but we’re never giving up. We worshipped Giovanni like a god, and we’re not going to give up until we can draw his attention and bring him back, so he can lead us to victory.”

“Giovanni’s dead! He’s been dead for 20 years! Why can’t you see that? If you wanted, I could bring in those who witnessed the event! Why can’t you-“

Brendan was interrupted by a large, chaotic earthquake that shook the building. He heard rooms collapse, and other similar crashing noises. Once the noises ceased, he heard a deep, booming voice, emanating from some unknown source. “This building is now a possession of New Galactic. Comply with our demands, or dei.

End of Chapter One: Revival
 
I know, but I couldn't think of another way for it to turn out. Think about it this way; they'd been using a device on their Pokemon, so that their attacks were stronger, but used more energy. A superpowerful attack like Hyper Beam comined with all the other attacks they used would use up enough energy to knock it out.
 
If that was the case then it should have been mentioned in the chapter (or atleast later on in the story). Besides that it was good.
 
Oh, yay! A new fic! Sorry I didn't realise this earlier though. I'm typing as I'm reading, so be prepared for an exceedingly long review.

Well, right now...I'm reading the intro, and since I haven't played D/P, I don't know what in the world you are talking about; but I'll read ahead being the crazed fan of yours that I am.

Hmm...your description is...WOAH! This is a big improvement from where you first started. Note my emphasis on 'big'.

Oh, yay! You named someone Numbers! *huggles fic* Okay, now you know that I'm a math nerd T__T ;;

But...the 150% thing is really; well I don't know how to put it - but a bit strange I guess. And the violence is quite disturbing, but that's what really intrigues me about this fic. Great prologue, but it would have helped if you added more of what the characters were thinking or feeling. Nonetheless, good start and hope you write soon. I would be commenting on the first chapter, but I kinda burnt my hand on my toaster [don't ask] so my knuckles are really killing me.

Keep Writing,

a_f
 
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Well, Sol is dead, so he doesn't really need a personality, and Numbers will get explained more as the story goes on, but I'll tell you that he's in charge of the punishment system in the Silent Blanks/New Galactic/ Whatever you want to call it.
 
After a bit of a delay (sorry), here's chapter 2!

Chapter Two: Imprisonment

Saturn sighed as he tugged on the electrically charged chain holding his arm toward the iron wall of the New Galactic Mt. Coronet Prison. His blue hair had fallen, and had begun to block his eyesight. How could Team Galactic have chosen to go back this way? he thought, How could they have followed those men, instead of staying the way they were? Inside, however, he knew why, because most of the members were criminal in nature. “I have failed you...” Saturn mumbled to himself, as he recalled that day, the day when Cyrus died.

Cyrus stood atop Spear Pillar on his knees, surrounded by the three Pokemon they had tried to harness. After his failure with Dialga and Palkia, he attempted to escape, but he proved unable to avoid these creatures. The central of these Pokemon, pink in color, began to speak, although Saturn did not understand how. “The man had done wrong,” it silently announced, “but it... was my doing, partially. As a small child, this man had come in to contact with me, and, not knowing better, reached out to pet me. I, having little control over my power, had erased his emotions, every last one of them. He is dying, now, and I will grant him what would be his dying wish. I will restore his emotion.” Cyrus and this Pokemon both began to glow, and then the glowing stopped.

“Thank you, creature,” Cyrus said, “I am very glad to be able to do this. Saturn, you may have heard this from the other members, but you,” Cyrus paused, and let loose a coughing fit, small droplets of blood coming from his mouth, “...are my adopted son. I found you out by Snowpoint City, lost, with no idea where to go or what to do. I took you in, partially because I felt I could raise you as an underling, for the organization I had already begun planning, but also because in your eyes, I saw another who had faced the injustice of these Pokemon.”

“And so I took you in, and raised you as my own. At that point, with my lack of emotions, I looked at people as something unnecessary to this world, something doing nothing but bad. I had begun to play upon the insecurities and weaknesses of members of former criminal organizations, and used them as tools. I see now, with my newfound emotions, that I was wrong, very wrong. Saturn, my son, right my wrongs. Take Team Galactic straight, make it a lawful organization, and-“Cyrus went into another fit of coughing, more blood coming up this time, and then fell to the ground, dead. Saturn began to weep, and pondered what Cyrus had said, as the three Pokemon flew off, each in a different direction.

After that, Saturn pondered what Cyrus had said, and was torn between Cyrus’s last wish and the desire of the rest of the organization. Eventually, he had created the Galactic Police Agency, and fought crime, instead of performing it. Now, though, they had gone back to crime, brought in by a new organization, which had begun to do what Cyrus had done before. In anger, Saturn grabbed the iron chair from his cell, with just his right hand, though he was left-handed, and flung it toward the electrically charged bars, which, behind them, showed a beautiful view of the snowy mountainside. He looked down, to grab his Poke Balls, and realized they weren’t there. My memory must be acting up, he thought, or I would have remembered that they took them after the cut my left arm off. Saturn sighed again, as he thought of another memory, one more recent this time.

“Get off of me, you damn criminals!” Saturn shouted, as two men flung him into his cell, “Get off!” Saturn struggled to escape the chains around his arms, unsuccessfully. As he flailed his arms, a man, wearing a pitch-black jumpsuit, stepped forward, and began to speak.

“Hello, prisoner. I am agent Y, leader of the Y block of Abecedarians, of Silent Blank. I am here to interrogate you, and to disarm you, although I’m not quite sure why. No one really knows anything, though, do they? All in this world is but questions. The more we answer, the more we are confronted with. Why haven’t you complied with our orders? What do you have against the New Galactic? Why couldn’t you have just come peacefully? I’ll ask again, why won’t you hand over your Poke Balls? Are you not afraid we’ll take them by force?”

“By force? You’ll never manage that,” Saturn curtly replied. He mustered up the last ounce of strength within his body, and let loose a kick toward Y, his arms held back by chains. Y retained a calm expression while his black gloves began to glow, just as Saturn’s kick was nearing his face. The kick made contact, and Y winced in pain. However, after it hit, Saturn felt an even greater amount of pain, and was flung back, colliding with the cell wall. “You- How the hell did you do that?”

“It’s quite simple, really,” Y responded, “Our gloves allow us to use the attacks of Pokemon without sending them out, and serve as devices similar to your Poke Balls. That attack was, ah, what did you call it, again? Oh yes, Counter. I took the kick, and you took twice the force. I will ask you again, why do you keep resisting? You leave me no choice but to use force.”

Y drew, from somewhere in his clothing, a small piece of metal, similar to a pocketknife. He pressed a button, and a tall blade, nearly 6 feet long, extended from the device. He swung it downward, severing Saturn’s left arm. He pressed the same button, and the blade was drawn back in to the device. Saturn’s vision began to blur, as Y reached down, grabbed his Poke Balls, and pressed a button on the wall. The cell began to rotate, as Y faded out of sight.

Saturn looked towards the bars, and he noticed that the iron chair seemed to be nearly glowing with electricity, having become part of an electric circuit. He then looked toward his remaining arm, and saw that the magnetic chain on his remaining arm had been pulled out of the wall. He thought for a moment, then flung the end of the chain towards the bars. He suddenly felt an incredible jolt of electricity surge through his body, and then everything went black.

A few seconds later, Saturn came to. The strong electrical charge had knocked him unconscious, but only for a few seconds. He looked toward the bars, and saw that they seemed to have been destroyed, as if they had blown up. The magnetic chain, he thought, must have overloaded the circuit, or something like that, But what happened to it? Saturn immediately knew the answer to this question, after looking at his reflection on the cell floor. The heat of the electricity had melted the part around his wrist, and sent it flying towards his face, leaving him with what looked like a large, metal gash across his face.

Saturn then, after looking out toward the mountainside once more, truly realized what he could now do. Without the bars, he wasn’t imprisoned. The snowy mountainside meant he was near Snowpoint City, where Cyrus had originally found him. Putting these two facts together, he realized that he was close to civilization, and was able to escape. Knowing this, he leapt out of the opening, and tumbled down the mountainside, toward Snowpoint.

End of Chapter 2

And before anyone asks, Silent Blank and New Galactic are the same thing. Silent Blank is the main organization, and New Galactic is one of the three divisions, led by Mars and Jupiter. There's also the Abecedarians, led by the mysterious A2Z, who'll be met soon, and the Punishment Division, led by Numbers.
 
The first sentence is a bit wordy, but it sets the mood. I can't say Cyrus' dying wish was in-character, in fact it came across as a bit cheesy and contrived to me, but I can see the other things he spoke of happening. I mean, not quite Cyrus adopting Saturn, but it works for the story, you know. I liked how your inclusion of the fact that Saturn was left-handed gave nothing away, and when you revealed that his left arm had been cut off, well, it came as a surprise to me.

I'd suggest making the memories a bit clearer - it's hard to tell where they begin and end, but perhaps you wanted that way. The 'last ounce of strength'? Um...I wasn't really under the impression that Saturn was hurt or tired or anything...at first I thought the gloves were a bit lame, what they could do, and all, but thinking for a moments I found a bit of sense in it, I just can't figure out how it would work. But Pokémon is never exactly logical, is it?

And I would think that getting your arm cut off would, you know, hurt a helluva lot. I didn't really see any reaction from Saturn there. No one is that intolerant to pain. I didn't quite understand the thing with the arm being pulled through the wall. Maybe I just read too fast...I don't know. It's an okay story so far, though unclear at times. I'll still look back here from time to time --- I'm looking forward to seeing Jupiter in action.
 
Well, Saturn went unconscious about ten seconds later, and I'd say the beginning of unconsciousness numbed the pain a little. And with Cyrus, he had reached out to pet Mespirit as a child, and so, lost his emotions, living through his life cold and emotionless. Before he died, Mespirit granted them back, and Cyrus attempted to atone for his wrongdoings. The thing with the arm pulled through the wall...I'm pretty sure I know what you mean. His arm was chained magnetically to the wall, and, after the force of the chair being flung forward, the chain was pulled out of the wall. He noticed sparks of electricity around the bars and chair, so he flung the other end of the chain toward it. It became part of the electrical circuit, and electrocuted Saturn, knocking him unconscious. A few seconds later, he came to, and saw that the chain had melted to to the heat of the electricity, landed on his face, and frozen back, leaving him with a large, metal scar across his face.
 
Wow, it's been a while. Next chapter is almost finished, should be up within a couple days.
 
Please note: The thread is from 18 years ago.
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