Re: Pokemon Academy: Dragon's Roar
I proofread the chapter before this one but not this one, and I was the one that changed AD to A.D. because it bugged me, so Flaze might go with AD instead >.< Sorry bout that.
Re: Hoenn Wars, Chapter Seven: Sacrifice
Sad update (yay triple post xp): I'm going to have to suspend HW for the time being for an indefinite amount of time. I have to do this because: 1) I've been feeling really badly lately, and haven't been able to write. 2) I'm recovering quickly, but I'm...
Re: Pocket Monsters (6)
I'm beginning to dislike Milo, personally. Because I've tried to pull of BSing like that before and watched it crumble; not fun, at all.
Re: Hoenn Wars, Chapter Seven: Sacrifice
Oi, update: I had my wisdom teeth removed Tuesday, and am still recovering (and generally feel like crap). My internet has also been down thanks to Comcast, because they'll (illegally) shut down your internet if you use more than 75% of your bandwith...
Re: Hoenn Wars, Chapter Seven: Sacrifice
Oi, update: I had my wisdom teeth removed Tuesday, and am still recovering (and generally feel like crap). My internet has also been down thanks to Comcast, because they'll (illegally) shut down your internet if you use more than 75% of your bandwith...
It's all a question of honor, the? I'm pretty sure chivalry (the knights' code, I'm not too knowledgeable on the way of bushido) is about fair fights and helping those who don't have as much power (physically, monetarily, etc.) as you. Killing oneself was a big, BIG no-no. If you were fired...
Re: Pokemon Academy: Dragon's Roar
Okay, just PM me the chapters before you post them and I'll go through them and correct grammar errors. The only time I'll be unavailable that I know of soon is this Tuesday, because I have a wisdom teeth extraction (XP).
Re: Pokemon Academy: Dragon's Roar
Okay, so, once again, my criticism focuses mainly on grammar: your grammar is usually fine, but occasionally you will leave out a word, or a comma, or use a comma where it shouldn't go. This isn't too extreme in the more recent chapters, especially considering...
Re: Hoenn Wars, Chapter Seven: Sacrifice
The thing I liked about writing this chapter is that I finally got around to getting some characterization into Antoinette in her motivation (or lack thereof, depending on your point of view). Blowing stuff up is always a bonus, too.
Also, Antoinette...
Re: Hoenn Wars, Chapter Seven: Sacrifice
Chapter 7: Sacrifice
Antoinette locked her bedroom door, then turned the alarm system on, set up the various pressure plates around her house, and turned on the cameras. Security was important.
Then Antoinette grabbed her bag that held two changes of...
Re: Hoenn Wars (A Travelsverse Fic) Ch. 6
Tried writing a couple things, most of them fell through on how I wanted them to turn out, and I'm also writing something else as a pet project IRL, so I didn't finish the update. Sorry. Working on it... if it isn't up today, it'll be up tomorrow.
Re: Pocket Monsters (5)
Leg's only ever had a problem with long chapters when he went overboard on descriptions of things that weren't all that important, and it seems he's gotten over that, so he's good.
Re: Pocket Monsters (5)
He's coming off as an arrogant jerk because (it could be argued) that Milo is an arrogant jerk who nearly killed his pet, and thinks that this guy who's trying to dissuade him from cockfighting is your viewpoint. Think of it; if the cops barge in on someone growing pot...
Noob is right. Multiple plots are good if they are handled well and aren't way overused. For example, the book Holes: it has three plot lines that each continue on their own, until the end where it all comes together (brilliantly, in fact) with foreshadowing from each of the plotlines affecting...
Re: Hoenn Wars (A Travelsverse Fic) Ch. 6
It could just be, y'know, Silver is on a major organized crime syndicate and A.D. generally stomps on their throats and kills their dreams via giant explosions.
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