- Joined
- Jul 23, 2022
- Messages
- 183
- Reaction score
- 201
- Pronouns
- She/Her
- Thread starter
- #11
One-shot
I think this fic is interesting. The focus on the new year is pretty unique – and the mention of the ritualistic behaviour done by individuals regarding the new year as part of superstition gives a clear idea of how their world operates in that sense.
Unfortunately, I did struggle to read some of this fiction, not because of the grammar, or the words being used – but the formatting. Currently there are no spaces between paragraphs and the text itself comes across as a wall. There are no indents in the paragraphs to mark where they begin as an alternative. Once this is fixed, it will be much smoother to read.
Character wise, I am glad Lucian appears here (as he appeared in one of your other fics). The way that Lucian and Shauntal interact with each other is nice and realistic. It seems to connect to some extent to your other fic (Something about the Night Sky), in the sense that their relationship seems to be reinforced between the two fics. I like how you depict how kind Shauntel is, especially when she is taking care of the freezing cold and wet Lucian.
Overall a nice little one-shot painting their relationship.
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