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TEEN: Andrea's Scattered Words

Vivillon said:
I love the latest one. Said in few words, your poems are full of detail. It takes skill to pack so much in so little; I commend you on that. I really like the line "Killing me with thorns, leaving me undead." The fact that you chose undead really shows a lot in but two letters. Your mastery of English may not be perfect (then again, whose is?), but your way with words is wonderful. Keep writing!
Click to expand...

Thanks,,,

I write this right after I read your comment.. hope you enjoy..

Butterfly

I want to fly far-far
I want to leave my mark
Everywhere I go, I want people to know
That in this place, somewhere I used to be there

I scar the wall in the underground
I scream a song in the night clubs
I read out loud in library room
Picking strangers to let me in

I scare all the kids on the park
I rewrite and leak some of the part
Of my life, maybe just copying same scars
Of the past, when I was always lie there
All alone, screamed alone inside my mind
And never let anyone else to hear them

Cause once I was an ugly disgusting caterpillar
And once I lived my life in my cocoon
Now the butterfly will fly far-far
Spread my scars, so everyone will see
Will notice me
That somewhere, somehow I used to be here
 
We don't need reason to live
Don't need reason to feel
Have a life but doesn't mean we're alive
Keep searching with no guide

Cause
Sometimes people just
Don't hear with their ear
Don't see with their eyes
Don't read what is written over the line

Kill only with words but
Don't bleed when we hurt
Don't break when we crash
Don't cry with our tears just fall down
 
Hell

I want to fly away
Leaving this space
Leaving this hole, I know I feel save
But cry in disgrace, been left alone in hell
And everything I see, I've seen and nothing ended well
Should I try one more? or give this sh*t up?
Old wound still there, flesh and scars
Should I try? How can I kill this scared?
How can I be brave?
What the hell I've been, how can I leave?

When the life just ever give you pain
And out and far, you can see it's glowing red (from the pain that you've been painted)
Dirty hand, and always put on blame
Never understand, 'working hard and you get bless'

Cause you born as a loser, and stay as a loser
And from a far, sometimes really close by
You f*ck up with the smiles of the winners
 
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Trauma

I've broken and I've known it since forever
I cry a river for no more reason
This head is a mess and not just because once I'd beaten almost dead

I'm a empty shell, known no feeling

This eyes always red for no more sleeping
Cause darkness wake me up in every dreaming
Swallowing my tears every day
Hurted with no bleed
Cause the blade is hidden, tears is fleed in

Have this hole inside my head
When old movie kept on playing on rewind
I said I've forgiven but this brain not want to forget
and this hole in my heart
have a knife still embedded
Leave no feeling nothing but a disgrace
 
'You are the reason of my everything
You are why I can and can't breath
You are half of my heartbeaths
Love ain't the reason
You are'
 
Maya

Your love is delusion
You fall to illusion
Your percept the perfection
The reflection behind the mirror
It seems real but not a real realm
Crack your head open boys
You fall to Maya

Sweet scent, delight wine
Drunk you to the charm
Halt for days and weeks and years
You're drowned yourself to your tragic fall

Your love is delusion
You fall to illusion
Percept the perfection
The ethereal realm
Pictures and scenes taking your breath
But when it comes to all real, you failed to feel
 
A New Start

Today I wake up
And I think I more ready now
For this new chapter in my life

Last week I still slept with an empty chest
Cause my heart was robbed last month
Someone who used to come since last year
Torn it apart
Left only was a huge ugly scar

But today I felt I'm ready
Even though I still cried last night
But in front of the mirror
Even though I still see a wounded girl
But now with a little brighter smile
That not feel forced anymore
Little make up can help cover the rest wound
I fake up a little
But this still feel better
And tommorow, I hope, everything will be clearer

Just little bit my dear
A new start will begin
 
Old dream old

When I was a little little girl
I dreamt to be old
To be able to buy and sell
Be able to gain and win

I dreamt and plan
To win everything on my way
I walked, worked, tried my best
Lost my sleep and time to play
At first they adored me
Then they said, I bored them
Cause I kept say one thing
And they wanted another


So I gave in
Started to run out faster than others
Started to live on outest line on the border
I learned that live is a journey and outside just another inside
Just different figure with same mind and heart

But they who pushed me out
Now want what I left behind
To win and stay as far as possible with the losers
And start call me one

But I still kept my old dream
Now just grow bigger as it's older
 
Can't stop from being me

I know that I'm hated
Words arent my best
I though that I've tried to beat
Dignity on my head

But

This thorn that grown grown grown
Not just for a show show show
It's cored too deep
Rooting inside my spine

You tell me to stop thinking
How can I stop when my head keep spinning
This thread of though keep threat, keep judge
I can't stop from being me

You tell me to feel the world
But for me the world is just to sense
Not to put on my heart
I believe yet I doubt
Cause my senses can't figure it out
And I can't stop from being me

Sometime I butt it all
Call harsh and work it hard
Just to see as a strong
But guess how weak I'm inside

You tell me to stop thinking
How can I stop when my head keep spinning
This thread of though keep threat, keep judge
But I can't stop from being me

You tell me to stop talking about I
But who else can care for me if not myself

I believe yet I doubt
Cause my senses can't figure it out
And I can't stop from loving me
 
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how a girl sad

i know that is fair
i know that this not the end
i know world still attach
and from all things that missing is only you

i know that's not a reason to cry
we're just friend and a new build mate
but i know half of my soul is blur
and more than other half cold
burried burried under deep blue snow

and im a girl
and when im sad
i let the world know
let them be sad with me
i know this just for a momment
and tommorow
tommorow will be fine
 
I don't know how to words
Only have this things I only think about
How far should I fall until you notice
This is happen all yours to blame

We could shine so bright but instead
You let me cry until I lost heart to feel
One by one I collect pieces to pieces
Took my time cause I dont want to give in
Still you shine so bright have all too much
In shadow I stay with a dim of light
You flame all, make a world your want
But burned, I am, as ashes of grey

When things are given
But mine always taken

Still I don't want to scream unfair
But tears fall down, with untold tale.
 
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