TEEN: Yu-Gi-Oh! Gates of Time

[Warrior of Fire]

Yu-Gi-Oh! Gates of Time (YGO GoT) is a Yu-Gi-Oh fan-fiction series written entirely by myself, Warrior of Fire, and uses original characters created by me (occasionally with some outside help). Anime characters will make regular appearances, but are not main characters to the plot.

YGO GoT is rated teen due to some non-duel moments being more violent than the dubbed anime and some sayings more common in an everyday IRL setting ("Oh my god," among others), IRL religions of today being mentioned at times, and anything that could be taken as an insult is not intended as such (at least on my part as the writer, but one or two antagonists may be for dramatic context).

No decks will be common "meta" decks, and each character will use a different kind of deck. So you won't be seeing any Dino Rabbit decks. The closest you'll see are a Six Samurai deck (without the use of the common Naturia synchros), a pure Atlantean deck, and a pure Mermail deck, to name a few.

The duels in YGO GoT will follow TCG rules with a couple exceptions: some cards are one-of-a-kind (or in Kaiba's case with Blue-Eyes White Dragon, three-of-a-kind) (exceptions to this rule will be noted in a pre-chapter author's note); duels start with 4000 life points; the Egyptian God cards (during their couple appearances), Elemental HERO Bubbleman, and other cards with different anime effects to their TCG/OCG effects will have their anime effects (so yes, Numbers can only be destroyed by other Numbers in battle except when effects are negated); and except during the Zexal period, monsters are allowed to be normal summoned in DEF face-up (setting's also allowed, but mostly ignored except for a few people before the Zexal period). Only events up to Zexal will be featured, and all duels still have the rules before the release of Pendulum Monsters. At the end of each chapter that features a duel, any custom cards, anime-exclusive cards, manga-exclusive cards, and real cards using their anime/manga effects will be detailed in a similar style as in the Shadowchasers series created by fanfiction.net writer Cyber Commander (since, to be perfectly honest, I find that to be the best way to handle it).

Like in Dueling Network Forum’s Auke1993's fanfic, Yu-Gi-Oh Burst, characters will be color-coded for dialog with a few of the standard "he said" "she replied" the first time that character speaks to streamline the flow of dialog. Thoughts and dialog will be shown this way:

After a lot of consideration, I will be changing the format to a more usual novel style.

Dialog:

Spoiler

"Dialog text goes here."

Thoughts:

Spoiler

Thoughts text goes here.

Dialog will be in quotations, and thoughts will be in italics without quotations. The occasional italic word or two in quotations just means that those words have more emphasis during dialog, while non-italic words in thoughts being the same.

When a monster has been summoned for the first time (or if that particular monster has not appeared for three or four chapters), that monsters stats will be shown after the monster's description/name in a parenthetical (for example, a level four monster with an ATK of 1500 and a DEF of 1000 would have its stats displayed as (4/1500/1000) (Xyz monsters, as they have ranks instead of levels, will have an "R" right before their rank (Number 39: Utopia, for example, would have (R4/2500/2000)))). When a monster's stat changes, that will be noted with the old value followed by the new value, and, depending on the stat in question, in indicator of which stat (level changes, since levels are mostly one digit but naturally (i.e. limited to) range from one to twelve, have no indicator, while ATK and DEF always start with ATK or DEF as the indicator). Life point changes, like level changes, have no indicator (subject to change if readers express appropriate concern due to confusion).

The order custom cards appear in the post-chapter list is the order in which they first appear in the chapter. If part of a custom card is hidden due to events in the chapter and would be a major spoiler, the unknown part will be added in an extra entry for that card when revealed in a future chapter.

Arc list: This is where each story arc will be listed, along with the chapters in each arc. Each arc's title will be listed first, followed by the chapters (each chapter starts with "Chapter #" and ends with the era the chapter takes place in). The chapter titles will be links to each chapter in the thread. Chapter names will be added either after that chapter has been posted or if the chapter's name is revealed in the chapter's preview. The era each chapter takes place in will be noted when not a big spoiler. New arcs will be added later, but the first two arcs are noted due to not being much of a spoiler. The number of chapters in arc two is a spoiler, as well as the arc name of the third planned arc. The first twelve chapters (all of arc one and the first four of arc two) are listed for the time being. (This red message will be removed at a later date.)

The Gathering:
Chapter 1 – Ancestral Ties (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
Chapter 2 - The Legendary Hero Awakens (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
Chapter 3 - Gem-Knights, Crystallize! (GX)
Chapter 4 (GX)
Chapter 5 (5Ds)
Chapter 6 (5Ds)
Chapter 7 (Zexal)
Chapter 8 (Zexal)

The Adventure Begins:
Chapter 9 (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
Chapter 10 (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
Chapter 11 (GX)
Chapter 12 (GX)

Blog series - Gates of Time History:
1. The Hero of Time

 

[Warrior of Fire]

Chapter 1 – Ancestral Ties​

“Horus, finish this! Black Flame Burst!”

A silver dragon rose into the air and released a massive stream of black flames from its maw. Facing the mighty dragon was a knight on horseback wielding a pair of lances. As the flames engulfed horse and rider, they shattered into countless golden pixels. The fires roared and spread toward a young man wearing a green t-shirt, blue pants, and a rather large device strapped to his left arm. A display began counting down rapidly until it hit zero. Seconds later, the flames and dragon faded as the victorious duelist approached his defeated foe, medium-length brown hair waving in the wind.

“You’ve certainly improved since last time,” he said.

Michael Ayers extended his hand and helped the other duelist to his feet. The duelist simply known as the Warrior of Fire knew the look on his rival’s face.

“Let me fill you in on a little secret,” Michael said, putting his right hand in his jeans pocket and pulling the collar of his red t-shirt down slightly. “A sword has no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage. In your case, this means that your deck focuses too much on one monster, and when that goes, so do your chances of winning. Sure, that sounds strange coming from me, since my deck focuses on Horus, but I’ve prepared back-ups for when I lose or don’t yet have Horus. Incorporate other strategies alongside your main goal, and your opponents will be hard-pressed to defeat you.”

“I couldn’t say so any better myself,” a third person said, “and I invented the modern game.”

Maximillion Pegasus, a tall man dressed in a red suit over top a white frilled shirt, his long white hair covering his left eye… or rather, where his left eye should have been, approached the two duelists with his arms spread wide in his usual manner.

“When Yugi-boy disposed of my Toons,” Pegasus continued, “I eventually turned his prized monsters against him with Relinquished. I nearly won with Thousand-Eyes Restrict, but he managed to outwit me with Kuriboh.”

“What brings you here, Pegasus?” Michael asked.

“Remember that tournament a few months ago?”

“How could I forget? Especially the finals against bug-boy. What was his name again?”

FLASHBACK

“That dragon’s not going anywhere!” Weevil Underwood declared while he had Girochin Kuwagata (4/1700/1000) in attack mode, Insect Barrier active, and one card face down. Opposite him was Michael Ayers with Horus the Black Flame Dragon LV6 (6/2300/1600) and a face down. “I activate my face down! DNA Surgery! With this, all of your monsters become Insects, and my Insect Barrier stops your bugs in their tracks!”

“Too bad I have two ways to stop that plan!” Michael said. “You see, in Horus’ second stage of evolution, magic cards don’t even touch him. And of course, there’s the fact that you triggered my trap card!” Pressing a button on his duel disk, the holographic image of Michael’s face down card revealed itself. “With Localization, I now control which player is affected by cards that affect both players. So DNA Surgery will only make your monsters bugs!”

“How dare you!” Weevil exclaimed.

“Easy, I just did. Now, Horus, take out that bug! Black Flame Blast!”

Horus shot a ball of black flames at Weevil’s Kuwagata, destroying the Insect and blasting away 600 of Weevil’s Life Points (3600-3000).

Michael took a card from his hand. “Your move, bug-boy, but first, Horus destroyed a monster by battle, so it’s time for Horus to evolve into his final and most powerful form!”

At that, Horus began to grow into a more menacing silver dragon (8/3000/1800).

“I draw!” Weevil looked at the card he drew and put it into a slot. “I play Hammer Shot! Say good-bye to your dragon!”

“Black Flame Breath!”

As a giant hammer rocketed toward Horus, the great dragon breathed black flames at it, causing the hammer to vanish on contact.

“Wha?” Weevil had a confused look on his face.

“Whenever a magic card is played, Horus has the power to negate it,” Michael said.

“This can’t be happening!”

“It can, and it is.”

“I’ll end with two face-downs and Insect Knight in defense mode.”

A large humanoid insect armed with a sword and shield appeared crouched in a defensive position on its horizontal card with two face down cards flanking Insect Barrier and DNA Surgery (4/1900/1500). Michael drew his card with confidence.

“This is it. The final turn.” Michael took a second card from his hand. “First, I play Heavy Storm. Normally, this destroys every magic and trap card on the field. However, thanks to Localization, I’ll have it destroy only yours.” As if on cue, powerful storm winds shattered Weevil’s backrow. “As for this next card, it may seem like a waste for just one monster, but it’s worth it. I play Dark Hole. It’s just like Heavy Storm, but for monsters. And with my trap, only your bug’s getting squashed by its inescapable gravity.”

At those words, a black hole opened above Insect Knight. The creature tried to resist, but the pull was too great as it was swallowed by the now-closed singularity.

“My precious insects!” Weevil whined.

“It’s over! Black Flame Burst!”

Horus showed no pity as the great dragon launched his most powerful stream of black flames, engulfing Weevil and burning away his last 3000 Life Points (3000-0).

END FLASHBACK

“My dear boy, you are too much,” Pegasus said, chuckling. “How Weevil made it to the finals is beyond me.”

“Yeah. And how quickly he fell,” Michael said. “I expected a challenge, but got an ant instead.”

“Indeed. But I didn’t come here to reminisce about past victories.” Pegasus pulled a small box out of his coat pocket and held it out to Michael. “I came to give you your prize.”

Michael took the box. “Thanks, but you didn’t have to hand deliver it.”

“I know, but after all the magnificent research I undertook to create those cards, I just couldn’t bear to let anyone else bring them to you. And that rich heritage of yours!” Pegasus said.

“Yeah, it has that effect on people. A much more positive one than you had when you had that eye.”

Pegasus held his left hand up to his missing left eye. “Yes, I’m not particularly proud of then.”

“Back when Duel Monsters was a broken, exploitable mess of a game, and everyone exploited the bleep out of it,” Michael said with a grin.

Pegasus let out a chuckle. “I’ll never get used to the way you speak at times. Anyway, I really need to get back to Industrial Illusions. For a multimillion dollar corporation whose main product is a card game meant to recreate the Shadow Games of ancient Egypt, it doesn’t run itself.”

As Pegasus walked away, Michael opened the box and pulled out a single card.

~~~​

“That should finish it.”

Michael sat back and looked at his deck. He had spent most of the afternoon modifying his deck to include some of his new cards. Suddenly, the back of Michael’s right hand started to glow. Putting his deck in his deck box and his extra cards in the box given to him by Pegasus, Michael stood up and put his duel disk on. Looking around, he saw a man in black and white walking toward him.

“If you’re looking for trouble, I’ll be glad to send you packing.”

“Relax,” the newcomer said. “I didn’t come to fight you. But I did come to ask for your help.”

“All right, I’ll hear you out,” Michael replied, “but that’s all I’m promising.”

The newcomer sighed. “Fine. Anyway, three extremely rare cards were stolen from me. I’d get them back myself, but the thief is a duelist while I’m not.”

“So basically, you need someone to duel this thief for you and win your cards back,” Michael said. “Normally, I don’t do this, but I would like to test out my new cards. You’ve got a deal.”

The man grinned. “I knew I could rely on you. Thank you.”

“Well, isn’t this a disgusting sight,” a third man said. “Makes me want to puke.”

“It’s him,” the first man said.

The thief had jet-black hair, golden eyes, and blood-red clothes. On his left arm was a duel disk the same color as his clothes with a deck loaded.

“Ready to be destroyed by your own cards?” he said.

Michael stepped forward. “That would imply that you’re facing him, but you’re not. This duel’s mine.”

“I said I’m…” the thief began.

“It doesn’t matter what you said!” Michael interrupted. “You are dueling me. And when I win, you’re giving him his cards back.”

The thief shrugged in resignation. “Fine. I’ll make quick work of you, then destroy him.”

Michael took his deck back out and shuffled it.

“By the way, what are the cards he stole?” Michael asked.

“You’ll know when you see the first one,” the man said

The two duelists activated their duel disks and drew their starting hands.

“I start!” The thief drew his first card. “I summon Mystic Tomato in defense mode and end my turn.”

A tomato materialized in front of the thief, with triangular eyes and a wicked grin carved into it, giving the appearance of a jack-o-lantern. (4/1400/1100)

Heat radiated from Michael as he drew. “I draw, and now, I play Double Summon! This allows me to summon two monsters normally this turn. So first, I’ll summon Horus the Black Flame Dragon in attack mode!” Horus appeared, much smaller than either of his more powerful forms (4/1600/1000). “In his first form, he can’t be controlled except by the one who summoned him. And next, I summon Link – Child Hero in attack mode!” A blond-haired boy with a green tunic and pointed hat that went down to his shoulders, brown boots, and long pointed ears appeared next to Horus (4/1400/1000).

“Next, I’ll equip him with Deku Shield, boosting Link’s defense points by 200 points.” A treasure chest appeared in front of Link, who opened it and pulled out a child-sized wooden shield with a red design (DEF 1000-1200). “And now for Link’s special ability, and I’ll use it to equip him with the Kokiri Sword from my deck. The Kokiri Sword boosts Link’s attack points by 500 points.” A second chest appeared, from which Link obtained a small sword (ATK 1400-1900).

“So what can you do now?” the thief taunted. “The little boy who thinks he’s a hero with a toy sword and child’s shield, and the baby dragon who hates everyone but you. They can’t help you now!”

Michael slotted another spell card into his duel disk. “That’s why I play this! Ganondorf’s Curse! With this, I can change one monster’s type and attribute once per turn for three turns. Here, your Tomato’s staying DARK, but now it’s an Insect. And now, Link, take it out!”

Link ran up to the transforming Mystic Tomato and performed a trio of skillful slashes, destroying it before it could elongate into an insectoid shape.

“And that sets off Link’s other special ability,” Michael said. “Since he destroyed a DARK Insect by battle, I can add a Spiritual Stone to my hand.”

“Don’t get comfortable. That also triggered my Mystic Tomato’s special ability, allowing me to summon a DARK monster with up to 1500 attack points from my deck in attack mode.” The thief pulled his deck out of his disk. “I’ll go with a second Mystic Tomato!”

Another tomato appeared on the field, and then a green light bathed the field as Michael searched his deck for Spiritual Stone of the Forest – Kokiri’s Emerald. Upon adding it to his hand, the stone appeared over Link. It was gold shaped like the design on the Deku Shield with a large emerald set in the top. Sheathing the Kokiri Sword and placing the Deku Shield over the sword, Link reached up and grabbed the stone. Unseen by the thief, a ball of light with wings flew out of Link’s hat. As Link put the Spiritual Stone behind his back, the fairy flew down and took it for him before returning to her spot in his hat.

“Now, Horus, fire-roast his new fruit! Black Flame Stream!”

Horus opened his mouth and launched a small stream of black flames at Mystic Tomato. Just before it was destroyed, there was the scent of roasting tomatoes. (4000-3800)

Michael closed his eyes. “Gotta love those realistic Kaiba Corp. holograms.”

“I’ll use Mystic Tomato’s special ability to summon Evil Thorn!” (1/100/300) A small plant with a wilting flower on one side and a spiked seed pod on the other appeared.

I’ve never seen that before, Michael thought. “I end my turn, and since Horus destroyed a monster by battle, he now evolves!”

Horus grew into his second form, and the thief drew his next card.

“I use Evil Thorn’s special ability! By sacrificing it, Evil Thorn deals 300 points of damage to your Life Points and lets me summon two more from my deck in attack mode!” Two spikes shot out and embedded themselves into the ground before the Evil Thorn threw its seed pod at Michael, uprooting itself. (4000-3700) From the ejected spikes grew two more Evil Thorns. “Now I’ll repeat the damage twice!” (3700-3400-3100) Taking two cards from his hand, the thief made his next move. “I summon Shining Angel in defense mode and play Attack Limitation!” An angel with golden wings and wearing a white tunic appeared crouching defensively in front of the thief’s spell card. (4/1400/800) “Attack Limitation automatically ends the battle phase after the first attack! And that ends my turn.”

Michael drew his next card. “With Ganondorf’s Curse, your Shining Angel’s now a FIRE Dinosaur!” Shining Angel’s skin and wings turned reptilian, his face elongated, his mouth split wide, and his hair ignited. “Now, Link, take it out!”

Shining Angel opened his mouth and began to inhale, and flames started to form. Link reached into a large bag on his belt and pulled out a bomb, which he threw into Shining Angel’s mouth. After a few seconds, the bomb exploded, destroying Shining Angel. Upon its destruction, a shaft of golden light appeared amidst a red light.

“Shining Angel’s special ability activates,” the thief said. “It’s just like Mystic Tomato, but for LIGHT monsters. And Attack Limitation also gives me Life Points for the destroyed monster’s attack points.”

“And since Link took out a FIRE Dinosaur – and much like he would a Dodongo, too – I get the Spiritual Stone of Fire – Goron’s Ruby from my deck.”

“I summon Royal Knight!”

An angelic knight descended from the golden light (3/1300/800), followed by Link obtaining the second Spiritual Stone. Finally, Shining Angel’s attack points were added to the thief’s Life Points (3800-5200).

“Well, that’s all I can do this turn. Your move.”

The thief drew his next card and began laughing maniacally. “I’ve got you now! I play the very first card you played – Double Summon! So first, I summon Light Effigy in attack mode!” A ball of light with smaller lights orbiting it appeared (4/1500/0). “Light Effigy counts as two monsters if I sacrifice it for the summon of a LIGHT normal monster. And I’ll do so now!”

Light Effigy dissolved, and right below where it was, a white portal appeared, from which a pair of large white wings emerged. A long white tail soon followed, then by a pair of thin white arms, which pushed the rest of its body out, revealing a majestic white dragon. A look at its head revealed a pair of sapphire-like blue eyes.

“That’s it!”

“I can’t believe it!”

“Behold, the Blue-Eyes White Dragon!”

~~~​

custom card list:

Spoiler

Localization
Trap – Continuous
image: Jinzo blasting away a Wall of Revealing Light as another Trap Card glows
effect: Cards and effects that would affect both players instead affects the player(s) of your choice.

Link – Child Hero
EARTH/Warrior/Effect/4/1400/1000
effect: You can equip 1 "Kokiri Sword" or "Deku Shield" from your deck to this card. While this card is in Defense Position and equipped with "Deku Shield": This card cannot be destroyed by battle, except by FIRE or Pyro-Type monsters. If this card is in Defense Position and equipped with "Hylian Shield": This card cannot be destroyed by card effects. If this monster destroys an opponent's monster by battle: Apply the appropriate effect based on the destroyed monster's Type and Attribute: ● DARK Insect-Type monster: Add 1 "Spiritual Stone of the Forest - Kokiri's Emerald" from your deck to your hand. ● FIRE Dinosaur-Type monster: Add 1 "Spiritual Stone of Fire - Goron's Ruby" from your deck to your hand. ● WATER Thunder-Type monster: Add 1 "Spiritual Stone of Water - Zora's Sapphire" from your deck to your hand.

Deku Shield
Spell – Equip
image: A child-sized wooden shield with a red design carved into the front
effect: This card can only be equipped to "Link - Child Hero". Increase the DEF of the equipped monster by 200 points. If the equipped monster battles a FIRE or Pyro-Type monster: Destroy this card. If the equipped monster is attacked: flip a coin. If the result is Heads: switch the equipped monster to Defense Position.

Kokiri Sword
Spell - Equip
image: A child-sized sword with a brown hilt and crossguard. A gold four-pointed star with a purple gem set in the center is in the middle of the crossguard.
effect: This card can only be equipped to "Link - Child Hero". Increase the ATK of the equipped monster by 500 points.

Ganondorf's Curse
Spell - Continuous
image: Young Link turning towards Ganondorf, who's on the back of his horse, and lightning strikes around them.
effect: This card can only be activated during Main Phase 1. Once per turn, during your Main Phase 1: You can target 1 face-up monster on the field and declare 1 Type and Attribute: the targeted monster's Type and Attribute become the selected Type and Attribute until the end of the turn. Destroy this card during your third Standby Phase after activation.

Spiritual Stone of the Forest - Kokiri's Emerald
Spell - Normal
image: A gold piece in the shape of the design on the Deku Shield, with a large emerald set in the top.
effect: If this card leaves your hand except as a cost to activate "Song of Time": Shuffle this card into your Deck.

Evil Thorn
DARK/Plant/Effect/1/100/300
effect: You can Tribute this card; inflict 300 damage to your opponent, and if you do, you can Special Summon up to 2 "Evil Thorn" from your Deck in Attack Position.

note: Evil Thorn's IRL effect prevents you from activating the newly summoned monsters' effects, which is also how it was first used by Akiza in Yu-Gi-Oh! 5Ds episode "Clash of the Dragons, Part 1". The effect as used here was edited by me.

Attack Limitation
Spell - Continuous
image:
effect: During the Battle Phase, if the turn player attacks, after damage calculation: End the Battle Phase. If your monster with the highest ATK is destroyed by battle: Gain Life Points equal to its original ATK.

 

[Warrior of Fire]

If you've paid attention to the first full-length duel of the series thus far, you've noticed a trend on the part of Michael's plays: the quick and frequent collection of the Spiritual Stones. What will this lead up to, and will Michael be able to pull off the highly-dangerous task of defeating the Blue-Eyes White Dragon? And just who is this mysterious person who had three of these mighty cards stolen from him when only three exist in the would? Find out this Friday in Yu-Gi-Oh! Gates of Time chapter two: The Legendary Hero Awakens.

 

[Barfing Ogres]

There is some good stuff going on here, and some stuff that I believe you could do better.


Plot:
We're only on the first chapter, so anything goes. The Blue Eyes being stolen is an interesting premise, and actually reminds me of the pilot episode of yore. Shout out to Legend of Zelda.


Grammar/Technical Aspects:
I didn't notice anything wrong with the sentence structure in general, though there were two things that Pegasus said that broke the flow a little bit for me.

“I couldn’t say so any better myself,” a third person said, “and I invented the modern game myself.”

“I’ll never get used to the way you speak at times. Anyway, I really need to get back to Industrial Illusions. For a multimillion dollar corporation whose main product is a card game meant to recreate the Shadow Games of ancient Egypt, it doesn’t run itself.”

Reading myself twice felt a bit strange to me, and when he talks about returning to his work, the oddly specific nature of it threw me off a little. I'd understand that you'd include it in the event that somebody is unfamiliar with the series though. Ommiting the for at the beginning of that statement would help it read smoother as well.


Spacing and Style:
I really like the idea that you have color coated the speakers such that you always know who is speaking, though if I were to make a recommendation, I would choose less bold colors so that it doesn't strain the eyes. I read it fine, but I imagine that for some people it would hurt so to speak. Lastly I would add a little more spacing to the paragraphs so that it doesn't appear like a giant block of text. Adding just one more line where you already have spacing would do it.


Characters and Dialogue:
Just by his actions, we can tell the Michael is a good player. He has a confident attitude that isn't cocky, but I feel could turn into that at some point. Pegasus and Weevil sound like they did in the show, and that helps with the immersion greatly.


Description:
This is your strong point. You describe what the cards look like pretty well and your battles are very believable. Keep this up and let nothing stand in your way! I really liked this one.

A blond-haired boy with a green tunic and pointed hat that went down to his shoulders, brown boots, and long pointed ears appeared next to Horus.

Perfect description of Link, long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep things flowing and interesting. If I were to suggest one thing to make it better, add in some world building to set the location and make even better use of your descriptive talent.


Overall:
I really think this has potential, but the super bold colors and lack of spacing can throw somebody off. Keep the description up and I think you'll have it nailed.

 

[Warrior of Fire]

First up, the review response.

Spoiler

First of all, thanks for the review. This was initially posted over on the Dueling Network forums and never got any reviews except for a small comment.

Blue-Eyes being stolen was written to invoke that feeling and going in an entirely different route with it. And the Zelda thing is more than just a shout out, but that will be explained in a later chapter. I will say this, though: this was written as a very non-canon spin-off of the original concept of my now-original story, details of which are not being talked about (concept until it's brought up in story, present form until complete and I'm working on getting it published).

Reading Pegasus's first line now, yeah, I definitely see the redundancy of the second "myself" and it doesn't sound right. But that last line, editing is much more complicated. Just omitting the "for" at the beginning doesn't work (the sentence doesn't even make sense then: "A multimillion dollar corporation whose main product is a card game meant to recreate the Shadow Games of ancient Egypt, it doesn’t run itself.”), and the most obvious edits don't quite work for me either. And there was Michael's line before Pegasus left is one of a few references to the abridged series, that one in particular to one of Yugi's lines to Paradox at the beginning of the duel in Bonds Beyond Time Abridged.

I'm definitely working on the color thing. I'm not changing any that I've already set, though some of the later characters are proving a challenge (especially the main character being introduced in chapter three). I'm trying to pick the least-straining color that fits the character, but I'm also trying to avoid overlapping them. It'll be easier for one-shot characters who only appear in one or two chapters (however long the duel takes if they duel), since I'll be going with the default color for them (multiple one-shot characters like this in the same chapter will be getting the normal speech tags to avoid that confusion). And I actually meant to go back and edit that spacing in, but distractions happened (mostly watching let's plays).

The world building is definitely gonna pick up in chapter three, as plot-important locations start appearing then with Duel Academy (kind of obvious by looking at the chapter list). The first two chapters take place in what can best be described as "generic public area with buildings and trees," but I couldn't well put that as the description unless there was going to be constant fourth wall breaking, and since this is a more serious work and not, say, a Deadpool comic, that wouldn't exactly get it taken seriously. So I opted for "public square" since that says pretty much the same thing in less words and doesn't fall for the same pitfall as the previous statement.

Author's note: Something small I thought I should bring up real quick. At one point, there's a small pronunciation discussion between Michael and the thief about a certain word that starts with O. Michael says the word one way, the thief pulls a "you said that wrong," and Michael ends it with a usage of the trope "It is pronounced tro-PAY" (though in a different context than the actual trope, which, in-universe, is the actual correct pronunciation as explained). When you get to that point, make sure you read the word with "oh" instead of "aw" (best way I can think to do that part). And any instance of a character saying the words "Hylian" or "Hylia" starting in this chapter until the end says the first syllable as "hill". Anyway, enjoy.

Previously, on Yu-Gi-Oh! Gates of Time:
Michael Ayers received new cards from Duel Monsters creator Maximillion Pegasus as a tournament prize from a few months beforehand. Later, a mysterious man approaches him and asks for help recovering three rare cards stolen from him. As the duel against the thief commences, Michael quickly summons Horus the Black Flame Dragon and Link – Child Hero, using the two to break through the thief’s defenses. During this time, Michael, using Link’s ability and the effect of Ganondorf’s Curse, gathered two Spiritual Stones. But as things started looking easy for him, the thief used Double Summon to summon out the stolen legendary white dragon…

Duelist stats: Michael Ayers: 3100 life points, thief: 5200 life points

Chapter 2 – The Legendary Hero Awakens​

”The Blue-Eyes White Dragon!” (8/3000/2500)

Michael stared at the legendary dragon with a shocked look on his face. Suddenly, something clicked in his mind. Refocusing, Michael held his duel disk up in front of him.

”All right, I can take it out," Michael said. "I’ve got my own monster with 3000 attack points, and I’ve defeated stronger monsters before.”

”Too bad you’ll fall before you even get a chance to!”

Link seemed to tense up as Blue-Eyes roared.

”Blue-Eyes, wipe out that runt! White Lightning Attack!”

Blue-Eyes opened its mouth wide, a sphere of energy building. Aiming at Link, the legendary dragon launched a powerful beam of white lightning, completely engulfing the young hero. When the beam dissipated, Link was still there, crouched defensively behind his now-smoking Deku Shield.

”What?!" the thief exclaimed. "There’s no way he could have survived that!”

”You fail to realize what the source is when it’s smoking right in front of you.” Michael replied.

”What are you going on about?”

“When Link’s in defense mode while equipped with the Deku Shield, he can’t be destroyed in battle.”

“But he was in attack mode! And you don’t have any traps on the field!”

Michael closed his eyes and smirked. “Again, the shield saved him. When attacked, the Deku Shield shows one of two crystals. If it’s green, Link switches to defense mode. And I don’t know what the ‘failed’ color is since this is the first duel most of the cards I’ve used so far have been played in, so I’m just going to let you finish up.”

“What, did you just get those cards yesterday?”

“Today, actually.”

“Whatever," the thief sighed. "I don’t want this happening again, so I play Mystical Space Typhoon to destroy that chunk of firewood!”

From the card came a vortex of flames that struck the Deku Shield, incinerating it.

“Just try and come back from that!”

“I will!” Michael drew. “I play Pot of Greed, letting me draw two more cards.” Michael looked at the new cards. I’m one card away! “I switch Link to attack mode and Horus to defense mode. Now, for the final use of its effect, Ganondorf’s Curse will turn your Royal Knight into a WATER Thunder-type. Now, Link, take it out!”

Pulling out a boomerang, Link took aim at the now-lightning-filled watery core of Royal Knight and let it fly. The boomerang pierced the core, splitting it in two. Link caught the boomerang as Royal Knight shattered. (5200-4600) Upon its destruction, a blue light, like the green and red lights before it, bathed the field.

“Not this again,” the thief groaned.

”Obviously, each choice I made for Ganondorf’s Curse had significant reasons, each regarding the three Spiritual Stones. A DARK Insect nets Kokiri’s Emerald. A FIRE Dinosaur unearths Goron’s Ruby. And now, a WATER Thunder-type yields this!” Pulling a card from his deck and placing it in his hand, the third Spiritual Stone appeared above Link. “The Spiritual Stone of Water – Zora’s Sapphire!” Link grabbed the stone and, behind his back, handed it to the fairy. Before letting go, Link spotted a small blue glow on the ground. Bending down, he picked up the source of the glow – a gray-blue ocarina.

“What it that?!”

“One of the treasures of Hyrule’s Royal Family," Michael said, "the Ocarina of Time.”

“You said that wrong.”

“It’s pronounced ‘oh’ in Hyrulean, so I did say it right. Now, since I’ve finally got all six pieces, I play Temple of Time!” A marvelous building rose up, encompassing the entire field. One square section of a wall to Michael’s left was shrouded in darkness. “With the Temple of Time in play, I can now play Door of Time!” The shadows lifted, revealing a great stone wall with a sun design. In front of it was an altar made of granite with three hollows. “And now for the final key to open the Door of Time!” Slotting another spell into his duel disk, Blue-Eyes, Horus, and the card images vanished as Link approached the alter, putting the Ocarina of Time to his lips and playing a short, simple song.

“What does this one do?”

“Glad you asked. The Song of Time removes one card in each graveyard from play for the rest of the turn. But first, I have to discard all three Spiritual Stones.” Upon being discarded, a flash of light caused the stones to appear, circling high above Link’s head before moving over the altar, lining up left to right – Forest, Fire, and Water. They then descended to float about an inch above the altar’s three hollows. “Since the Song of Time was played, the Door of Time now opens. By sending it to the graveyard, the Door of Time lets me add a very special equip card from my deck to my hand.” Taking the card from his deck, the Door of Time split down the middle and the two stone slabs slid behind the temple walls. Michael then took Kokiri’s Emerald from his graveyard and an Evil Thorn from the thief’s graveyard, and both placed their cards in their pockets. Link ran into the newly-revealed chamber, causing a change in scenery. Finally, Michael put the card added by the Door of Time into a slot.“With this, the final key to the Sacred Realm is revealed!” In the center of the room, implanted blade-downward in a small stone pedestal, was a sword. Its hilt and cross guard were blue, with the cross guard resembling wings. On the flat of the blade near the hilt was the same symbol as that above the Door of Time and the mark again glowing on the back of Michael’s right hand – a triangle consisting of three smaller triangles – the upper tip pointing to the tip of the blade.

“The time has come!" Michael declared. "Link now draws from the Pedestal of Time the sacred and legendary blade of evil’s bane – the Master Sword!”

Link swiftly walked up to the Master Sword. Stepping onto the Pedestal of Time, he grasped the sword’s hilt and pulled, removing steel from stone and opening the door to the Sacred Realm. After a few seconds – during which seven years seemed to pass on the field – the Sacred Realm’s doors were again thrust wide open.

“When seven years of darkness have come and passed, one man stands against the great King of Evil. Awaken, Link, Legendary Hero of Time!”

When the light died down, Link was standing before the Pedestal of Time, seven years older. His tunic, hat, and boots were bigger to fit his new, older body without changing proportions. Underneath the tunic, Link wore a white long-sleeved shirt and white tights. Upon his hands were simple brown leather gauntlets. Holding the Master Sword across his back was a blue and green sheath trimmed with gold. And in each ear was a small, blue hoop earring, a traditional Hylian men’s style. (9/2700/2500)

“I should mention that by playing the Master Sword, I triggered the Temple of Time’s effect," Michael added. "By sending it to the graveyard, you can’t activate traps until after my next turn. I’ll also equip Link with the Hylian Shield, giving him an extra 700 defense points!” (DEF 2500-3200)

There was another flash of light, and the duel returned to the public square, everything back to where it was. Link was crouched in defense mode, a metal shield on his right arm. The outer edge and two mirrored, raised, hooked designs near the top were gray; a red bird design occupied the lower center on a field of blue, a small golden triangle below the bird’s feet pointing to the ground, and, above the bird and reaching from wingtip to wingtip, was the same golden symbol.

“How did you put him in defense mode?!” the thief exclaimed.

Michael just smiled. “Just like how I can do the same with an evolution of Horus. Different card, so it’s a new summon. That means my choice of battle mode.”

“He’s still weaker than Blue-Eyes!”

“But it can’t destroy him, thanks to being equipped with the Hylian Shield.”

“I am sick of your stupid little shields!”

“Hey!” Michael reached into his pack – a device that did not even appear to those present – and pulled out a real Hylian Shield. “The Hylian Shield is a symbol of the various heroes of Hyrule: a shield protecting those who cannot protect themselves. Everything we do to protect the people of Hyrule, we do it because we are chosen to do it and we choose to continue doing it when the threat that we were called upon to end is dealt with. And now, you will feel what it is like to take on one of Hyrule’s greatest heroes!” Returning the shield to his pack, Michael ended his turn, fires raging in his brown eyes. “And now that our removed cards are returning, we now must shuffle our graveyards with them being unable to be viewed until the end of your turn.”

“You won’t last long anyway!” The thief drew his next card. “I play Allure of Darkness! With this, I draw two cards, then I must remove one DARK monster in my hand from play. If I can’t, my entire hand is sent to the graveyard.” He drew two cards and smirked. “I remove Shadow Drainer from play. And when it is, I choose a monster you control, and it’s drained of all of its attack and defense points until the end of the turn, and you’ll be taking damage regardless of its battle mode! So say good-bye to the power of your pathetic dragon!”

A shadowy aura appeared around the thief, which then jumped onto Horus, draining the dragon of its power (ATK 2300-0, DEF 1600-0). Horus tried to remain upright, but its strength gave out, leaving it collapsed on the ground.

“Now, Blue-Eyes, wipe out that lesser dragon and his life points! White Lightning Attack!”

Blue-Eyes glared mercilessly at Horus as a White Lightning Attack built up in the great dragon’s maw. Snapping its mouth open, the blast blew away Horus and crashed into Michael, causing him to fly back a few feet. (3100-100)

“You are pathetic for a would-be hero. You’d make a perfect fall-guy for my next plan. In fact, that’s just what you’ll be after I win this duel!”

Michael slowly picked himself up, the back of his shirt torn from the fall. “Screw your plan, I have honor.”

“What did you just say?!”

“Screw your plan, I have HONOR!!!” Michael roared.

“You’re dead.”

“You have no idea how many of my enemies have said that to me over the years! And just like all of them, you are wrong!”

The thief looked nervous. His taunts were only making Michael angrier, and the death threat was just shrugged off like it was nothing. He couldn’t even think of a comeback to that last comment. “I place one card face down and end my turn.”

“My draw!” Michael glanced at the card for a second before placing it face down and concluding his turn.

The thief started screaming at Michael’s continued confidence. “Wipe that false bravado off your face! There’s nothing you can do to stop me! I play Deal of Shadow! Now I get to draw one card for each card on the field except itself! Since there are six cards on the field, I draw six cards! Next, I play Life Restoration! With this, I gain 100 life points for each card in my hand! With eight cards in my hand, I gain 800 life points!” (4600-5400) “Now I play Card of Sanctity! Normally I’d hate giving you a full hand, but I need you to have one here to end you!”

Michael drew six cards. “Seems like a bad plan to me, thief.”

“QUIET!!! I play Card Destruction!!! We both toss out our hands and redraw them!!!”

Michael flew into action, quickly pressing a button on his duel disk. “I activate my trap card! Localization!" The holographic card raised up. "Now I pick who’s affected by cards that affect both of us, and Card Destruction is only going to affect you!”

“You… you… you…”

“What’s wrong, everything falling apart before your eyes?”

The thief shoved his hand into his graveyard before ripping the top six cards off his deck, grumbling. “Because my Dark Dealmaster was discarded with five other cards, I gain 300 life points.” (5400-5700) “I end my turn.”

“My move!” Michael looked at the card he just drew. “Well, this was not fun at all, but now, fortunately, it’s over. First, I play Dark Hole! With Localization, it will only destroy your monsters!” A black hole opened an inch above Blue-Eyes, it’s inescapable gravity pulling in the dragon. “Now, I play Heavy Storm, and combined with Localization, it’ll only destroy your magic and trap cards!” A powerful storm destroyed Attack Limitation and the thief’s face-down card.

“Unless you can summon your 3000-attack-point monster now, you can’t win this turn!”

“There’s the flaw in your logic!" Michael said. "You’re assuming that I need to summon MY monster to win this duel this turn! I play Monster Reborn! With this, I can revive any monster in either graveyard, so I’ll just be reviving the very monster you stole!” A white portal appeared next to Link, out of which Blue-Eyes White Dragon appeared in attack mode.

“You can’t do that!”

“I just did! Now, I’ll switch Link into attack mode! Blue-Eyes, blast him with White Lightning!” Blue-Eyes launched its third White Lightning Attack, this time at the thief. (5700-2700) “And now, Link, finish this!” Link rushed at the thief, drawing the Master Sword before leaping into the air, bringing the sword down in a powerful arc on the descent. (2700-0)

“NO!!!” the thief shouted.

“Like I said before, this duel’s mine. Now turn over the cards you stole.”

“No, I won’t.” The thief pulled out a knife and lunged at Michael. “Now you die!”

Michael sidestepped the lunge and struck the thief’s arm, disarming him. He then turned the thief around to face him and hit him with a side-stepping kick to the jaw, knocking the thief out.

“Well, that was unnecessarily harder than it needed to be.” Michael bent down to take the thief’s deck as the other person walked over. Going through the deck, Michael removed three Blue-Eyes White Dragon cards.

“Thank you for recovering my cards,” the other man said.

“No problem… Kaiba,” Michael said.

“But… how…?”

“When you first appeared," Michael explained, "my Triforce mark reacted to a temporal anomaly. And of course, the first Blue-Eyes being summoned was a big hint. That’s when I first guessed that you were a future Kaiba. Finally, three Blue-Eyes White Dragons. Only a descendant of Seto Kaiba could have these.”

“Then I guess you've figured out that I wasn't entirely truthful when we met. I actually am a duelist, but my deck doesn't work without Blue-Eyes.”

Michael handed the Kaiba descendant the three Blue-Eyes cards. “Not exactly a good plan. Even this time's Kaiba has a deck that will work without his signature dragons.”

“Well, you could say that, but you could also say that my deck is literally incomplete without them. It's only thirty-seven cards with Blue-Eyes missing completely, and I have no suitable replacements.” Kaiba turned and started walking, then stopped. “You know, being able to travel through time at will would be a good experience. I think you'd be a great addition to the group I'm assembling. Five duelists from different time periods working together to prevent something like this from happening again. I know you would fit in with your history, and from what I just saw, I'd have no regrets naming you the group's head. Think about it.”

Michael watched as Kaiba continued on his way, intrigued by his proposal. While his previous experience with time travel wasn't very pleasant, having fought a sorcerer trying to break the seal on Ganondorf and repeating the same three days multiple times to stop a sadistic mask of all things, he was being given a chance to see what no other could.

~~~​

The next day, Michael had returned to that public square, joined by three others. To his right was Daniel, a technological genius who created the pack Michael used and an undefeated Greco-Roman wrestler, wearing an orange t-shirt and jeans, his shoulder-length orange hair waving in the wind, making his equally orange eyes shine brighter than usual. To Daniel's right was Michael's sister, Heather, wearing jeans and a green sleeveless top, her waist-length brown hair tied into a single braid, and standing two inches taller than her twin brother - but only because of her shoes. And floating just over his left shoulder was the same fairy that assisted Link in the duel, only this time real instead of a holographic projection. Michael wore a black t-shirt, jeans, and his deck box attached to his belt. Strapped across his back and over his left shoulder was the Master Sword.

"Okay, where is this guy?" the fairy said. "He should have been here by now."

"He's probably coming on foot," Daniel added. "Or got caught in traffic if taking any ground vehicle. Given all I know about temporal flow, it might not be wise to use any time travel devices more than needed, considering that certain aspects of traveling through time came to pass before we knew about the time travel coming into place."

"A lot like when the goddesses sent me back in time a few years ago to help prevent the early breaking of the seal on Ganondorf," Michael said.

"Exactly."

"That was a bit of a shock seeing you in London after you and Link fought together," the fairy said.

"So, are you ready to go, Michael?"

The four of them turned around at Kaiba's voice to see him walking from a building. While he kept the black and white look, he resembled the current era's Kaiba more than the day before. His pants, shoes, and shirt were white instead of black, and his sleeveless coat was black instead of white. And on both sides of his coat collar was the Kaiba Corp. logo, a stylized K piercing a C with the bottom diagonal line.

"Ah, he's been here all along," Daniel said. "I never would have guessed that."

Michael started to step forward, but stopped mid stride. He then turned to the fairy.

"Navi, I know we haven't been much of a team since we met, since I've never needed your help carrying my weapons and I knew much about the enemies I've faced since then, but now I need your help." Michael reached up to the clasp keeping the Master Sword strapped to his back and undid it. Grabbing the sheath, he held it out to Navi. "Since there can't be more than one Master Sword in the same universe, I can't take it with me, so I'd like you to hold on to it until I get back. Will you?"

"O-o-of course, Michael." Navi flew over to the Master Sword, and, upon her light touching it, made it disappear.

"Fascinating," Kaiba said.

"Yeah, we fairies can hold just about anything, regardless of how big it is," Navi said. "I carried most of Link's equipment during our adventure, and I'm proud to have been able to help him in any way I could."

"Well, Michael, it's time to go."

"Right. We've got much to do, and less time to do it in."

"Uh, Michael, you know that you've got as much time as you need, right?" Heather asked.

"Yeah, sis, but I felt like starting this new adventure with a Robin Hood: Men in Tights quote, and that seemed like the best one at the time," Michael replied. "Definitely better than Achoo's 'White men can't jump,' ya know?"

The quintet laughed for a few seconds, then split up, Michael standing next to Kaiba, and Daniel, Heather, and Navi a few feet in front of them. Kaiba then pressed the right logo on his coat, creating a cylinder of light around him and Michael.

~~~​

custom card list:

Spoiler

Spiritual Stone of Fire – Goron's Ruby
Spell - Normal
image: A gold V-shaped piece holding a large, diamond-shaped ruby.
effect: If this card leaves your hand except as a cost to activate "Song of Time": Shuffle this card into your Deck.

Spiritual Stone of Water – Zora's Sapphire
Spell - Normal
image: A gold piece shaped like the crest of Nayru with three sapphires set in the larger openings.
effect: If this card leaves your hand except as a cost to activate "Song of Time": Shuffle this card into your Deck.

Temple of Time
Spell - Continuous
image: A large, church-like, stone building with two pools flanking the path to the entrance. Death Mountain can be seen in the background to the left.
effect: The activation and effect of this card cannot be negated. This card and its effect can only be activated during your Main Phase 1. You can only activate this card if you have "Door of Time", "Spiritual Stone of the Forest - Kokiri's Emerald", "Spiritual Stone of Fire - Goron's Ruby", "Spiritual Stone of Water - Zora's Sapphire", and "Song of Time" in your hand while you control "Link - Child Hero". This card cannot be destroyed by card effects. If you activate the "Master Sword" added to your hand by the effect of "Door of Time": Send this card to the Graveyard; your opponent cannot activate Trap Cards until the end of your next turn. During the End Phase of the turn this card is sent to the Graveyard to activate its effect: add 1 "Ganon's Tower” from your deck to your hand.

Door of Time
Spell - Continuous
image: A large stone slab with an intricate design behind the alter inside the Temple of Time. A dark Triforce symbol is above the Door.
effect: The activation and effect of this card cannot be negated. You can only activate this card while "Temple of Time" is face-up on your side of the field and you control "Link - Child Hero". When you activate "Song of Time": Send this face-up card to the Graveyard; add 1 "Master Sword" from your Deck to your hand. This card cannot leave the field except by its own effect's cost.

Song of Time
Spell - Normal
image: Young Link standing before the alter in the Temple of Time, the three Spiritual Stones floating above him. He is playing a song on the Ocarina of Time.
effect: This card's activation and effect cannot be negated. You can only activate this card while "Temple of Time" and "Door of Time" are face-up on your side of the field and you control "Link - Child Hero". Discard 3 different "Spiritual Stone" Spell Cards; banish 1 card in each Graveyard until the end of the turn. When these cards are returned to the Graveyards: both players shuffle their Graveyards and place them face-down until the end of the next turn. Neither player can look at the Graveyards while they are face-down.

Master Sword
Spell - Equip
image: A sword, blade glowing with sacred light, with a blue hilt and winged crossguard. A yellow gem sits at the top of the crossguard, and the Triforce symbol appears at the bottom of the blade.
effect: This card can only be equipped to a "Link" monster. If this card is equipped to "Link - Child Hero": Banish the equipped "Link - Child Hero", then Special Summon 1 "Link, Legendary Hero of Time" from your hand or deck and equip it with this card. If the equipped monster battles a DARK or Fiend-Type monster with more ATK than the equipped monster: The equipped monster gains ATK equal to a third of the DARK or Fiend-Type monster during damage calculation only. There can only be 1 "Master Sword" Equip Spell Card face-up on the field.

Link, Legendary Hero of Time
EARTH/Warrior/Effect/9/2700/2500
effect: Cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. Can only be Special Summoned by the effect of "Master Sword". While this card is in Defense Position and equipped with "Hylian Shield": This card cannot be destroyed by battle. If "Master Sword" equipped to this card is banished by the effect "Ganon" and is not equipped with "Biggoron's Sword": equip 1 "Biggoron's Sword" from your hand or Graveyard to this card.

Hylian Shield
Spell - Equip
image: A metal shield. The front has the Hylian crest - a red bird design with a golden triangle underneath the bird and the Triforce above it - on a field of blue, two silver hook shapes on the other two sides of the Triforce, and a silver riveted edge.
effect: Increase the DEF of the equipped monster by 700 points. If the equipped monster is attacked: flip a coin. If the result is Heads: switch the equipped monster to Defense Position.

Shadow Drainer
DARK/Fiend/Effect/3/0/0
effect: If this monster is banished: Target 1 monster your opponent controls; that monster's ATK and DEF become 0 until the end of the turn, and if you attack that monster, inflict piercing damage to your opponent.

Deal of Shadow
Spell - Normal
image: A black card comes out of the chest of a monster with a shadowy aura.
effect: Draw 1 card for every card on the field, except this card.

Life Restoration
Spell - Normal
image: Golden sparkles emit from a duelist's hand.
effect: Gain 100 Life Points for each card in your hand.

Card of Sanctity
Spell - Normal
effect: Each player draws until they have six cards in their hands.

note: Card of Sanctity is a real card with a much different effect. I am using the anime effect here.

Dark Dealmaster
DARK/Fiend/Effect/4/1000/1000
effect: When this card is discarded by a card effect: Gain Life Points equal to the number of cards discarded times 50.

 

[Warrior of Fire]

A quick update for anyone who's been wondering where this has been for the past three months. Quite simply, I had a huge case of writer's block on the opening scene of chapter three from when I originally finished chapter two about a year, year and a half ago until about a week ago. Finally broke through it, and with school, watching let's plays, and life in general getting in the way, leaving me with only the bus rides to and from my college to work on GoT, I have finally finished the next chapter. So, chapter three preview and title reveal Wednesday, chapter on Friday. And remember, as the arc list has already revealed, we're heading to Duel Academy this week for a very brief island adventure. And the reveal of the next protagonist!

 

[Warrior of Fire]

It's an average day in the life of Duel Academy student Alexander Garnet. A day of classes, new cards, and, of course, dueling. But a dark shadow looms over this usually peaceful island, a shadow that threatens the very fabric of time itself. With Duel Academy and two travelers looking on, can the crystalline power of Alexander's Gem-Knights rise to the task of defeating this shadow? Find out Friday in chapter three, "Gem-Knights, Crystallize!"

 

[Warrior of Fire]

Chapter 3 – Gem-Knights, Crystallize!​

“Not again!” Alexander Garnet groaned as he saw the crowd of his fellow Duel Academy students struggling through the hallway, a practical sea of red, yellow, blue, and white.

“Come on, out of the way!”

He pushed his way into the crowd, finding small gaps between bodies, his own yellow jacket blending in with the rest.

“I bet Jaden never had to deal with these crowds.”

Finally reaching the exit of the main building, he slipped out of the crowd.

“Gotta get to the card shop before I miss out on the best ones! Where's my shortcut?!”

Spotting a small field, Alexander ran through it, soon coming up to a large shack with other students nearby. Breathing a sigh of relief at there not being many, he walked up and went into the shop.

~~~​

“Welcome to Duel Academy, the premier Duel Monsters school, founded by my great-grandfather, your era's Seto Kaiba.”

Michael looked at the main building and chuckled.

“Well, the size sure does match his ego," Michael said. "Big.”

“Yes, but it also serves as a vault, protecting three dangerous cards known as the Sacred Beasts, cards made by Pegasus as a counter to the Egyptian God Cards," Kaiba explained. "However, they were far more dangerous than Obelisk, Slifer, and Ra, so Pegasus had them hidden on this island. My great-grandfather found it and thought it nothing more than an ideal location for Duel Academy. When Pegasus learned this, they met and discussed the Sacred Beasts, and...”

“Let me guess," Michael interrupted, "Kaiba heard how they were supposedly better than Yugi's Egyptian Gods and sought them out so he could finally beat Yugi?”

Kaiba chuckled. “Actually, by the time Duel Academy was founded, my great-grandfather stopped caring about that, and finally believed in magic. Plus Yugi gave up the God Cards to the Pharaoh when they finally split and the Pharaoh's quest was completed.”

“All right" Michael said. "So, with the future lesson complete, why are we here?”

The two began walking towards the main building.

“One of the students here is an ideal choice for our group. The monsters of his deck use a crystalline power against their foes, and one of their greatest strengths is the power of fusion.”

“With only three copies of Polymerization available to a duelist's deck," Michael said, "it's probably not very reliable.”

“Actually, he doesn't use Polymerization. He has a fairly good collection of spell cards just to fuse his monsters, and they are geared towards frequent fusion summons.”

“So there's a new type of card now. That'll be interesting.”

“No, not yet," Kaiba explained. "Some time between the Pharaoh departing for the afterlife and now, Industrial Illusions changed the term 'magic card' to 'spell card.'”

“I'm gonna need to adjust to that fast.” Michael noticed the duel disk on a passing student's left arm. “Maybe I should also get a new duel disk.”

“Because of the range of time periods we'll be visiting, I took the liberty of designing a custom duel disk for you. I haven't built it yet, but I could see what I can do.”

“I'd need to see it first.”

“That won't be a problem.” Kaiba pulled a blank spell card out of his right coat pocket. “This card contains a three-dimensional holographic rendering of the design, as well as important software for it. Insert it into your disk's field slot, and the Solid Vision will do the rest.”

Michael took the card. “Well, tech does keep advancing at an exponential rate, so it's no surprise that future tech spawned this.”

“Actually, when Solid Vision was first invented, this was possible," Kaiba said. "Simply put data into a microchip, embed it in a card, make it readable with any dueling device, and it'll appear. My father was the one who formed the idea of using a duel disk and something similar to a Duel Monsters card to project other holographic images. Designs, models, videos, if it can be converted into data, you can have a duel disk project it.”

~~~​

“All right, bring on the duels!” Alexander confidently shuffled his deck as he walked around, looking for an opponent. “Come on, I don't have all day!”

A short, frail-looking Obelisk Blue student approached, a sinister glint in his eyes.

“I'll be glad to destroy you, Garnet,” he sneered.

“Didn't you learn your lesson last time, Nick?" Alexander asked. "Your anti-EARTH strategy didn't help you against my Gem-Knights.”

“I told you last time, you are not worthy to call me 'Nick.' YOU are to address me only by my full name, Nicholas Godwin!”

“Sheesh, you're so pretentious," Alexander said. "Well, looks like I don't have a choice. My Gem-Knights and I are gonna make you and your monsters look like a buncha jokers.”

Alexander and Nicholas walked into position and activated their duel disks. Both drew five cards.

“I will start this, Garnet. I draw! I'll start with my Shard of Greed!” The Pot of Greed appeared, then shattered. One shard, one of the eyes – which was now closed – remained. “I'll get to that later. Next, I'll use another spell card, Pot of Greed!”

Nicholas drew two cards. A small crowd had gathered, including Michael and Kaiba. He smirked as he took three cards from his hand.

“I'll place two cards face down, and activate my Swords of Revealing Light! Good luck getting around my impenetrable defense!”

Alexander drew a card. “You know, Nick, you talk too much.”

“It's Nicholas Godwin, you insufferable cretin!”

Alexander rolled his eyes. “And then there's that. It's no wonder you don't have any friends. Anyone who tries to talk to you never gets a chance to even have a decent conversation. You alienate everyone with your attitude. Even other Obelisk Blues can't stand you.”

“Are you going to take your turn, or are you just going to keep running your idiotic mouth?” Nicholas asked.

Alexander sighed. “I guess some people just never learn. I'll start with my own Pot of Greed!” He drew two more cards. “Now, I'll play my own continuous spell, Gem Crafting!”

A large machine appeared behind Alexander. Five large crystal mounds appeared surrounding him.

“Here's how this works: Every time I play a 'Gem' card, Gem Crafting gains one of five types of Crystal Counters, which range from level one to level five. For any 'Gem' monster I summon, the Crystal Counter's level matches the monster's level, and for any that are level six or higher, that's subtracted by five until it's one through five. For spells and traps, it's a die roll to determine the level. A six means I have to re-roll until I get a one through five. And at any time it has at least two counters of the same level, I can use two of them to get a Gem-Knight from my deck whose level matches the level of the counters, but wait, there's more. There's a one-in-three chance that I can get a higher level Gem-Knight. Just need to roll a five or six. And if I use level five crystals, I instead need exactly six to improve, and that'll let me get any level six or higher Gem-Knight from my deck.”

“Did you have to say all that?” Nicholas asked.

Alexander shrugged. “There was a lot, and I didn't want to explain as I went. Anyway, time to start building my team. I summon Gem-Armadillo in attack mode!” An armadillo appeared, gems on various parts of its body (4/1700/500). “By normal summoning Gem-Armadillo, I get any Gem-Knight from my deck, like my Gem-Knight Alexandrite! Plus, Gem Crafting gains a level four Crystal Counter.”

Alexander pulled a card from his deck and shuffled. The crystal mound behind him to his left shimmered slightly.

“Now I'll place two cards face down and end my turn.”

One of the Swords vanished. “Finally, it's my turn. I draw!” As Nicholas drew a card, the Shard of Greed's eye opened slightly. “I'll place this monster face down in defense mode, and end my turn.”

“I draw! I'll put my own face down monster, then another card face down, and back to you.”

Nicholas drew, the Shard's eye opening completely. “Now my Shard of Greed can fulfill its purpose. Every time I drew at the start of my turn, it gained a Greed Counter. Since it now has two, I can now send it to the graveyard to draw two more cards!” The Shard dissolved into green sparkles, which settled into Nicholas's deck. He drew twice. “Now I'll activate my two trap cards, a pair of Good Goblin Housekeeping! But that's not all! I also activate a quick-play spell from my hand: Emergency Provisions! By sending both of my traps to the graveyard, I gain 1000 Life Points for each, a total of 2000!”

Both traps shattered, a golden glow enveloping Nicholas. (LP: 4000 → 6000) “Now, that brings me to Good Goblin Housekeeping. I draw one card, plus an additional card for each one in my graveyard, then I have to put one on the bottom of my deck. Since there's two, I draw three times for each one!” Nicholas drew six cards, then placed two on the bottom of his deck. A sinister grin formed on his face as he looked at his hand.

“I'll place four cards face down, and end my turn. Just try to get by me now, Garnet!”

Alexander drew. “Oh, I plan on it. First, I flip my face down Gem-Turtle face up!” The new monster appeared. True to its name, it was a large turtle with a finely-cut gemstone for its shell. (4/0/2000) “Not only do I get another level four Crystal Counter for flip summoning my Turtle, but its special ability activates! I get a Gem-Knight Fusion from my deck!” He took the card from his deck, then took another card from his hand. “Next, I summon Gem-Knight Alexandrite in attack mode!”

Alexandrite appeared to be a man wearing ornate, sparkling white plate armor. Gems were embedded in the armor's gauntlets, elbows, knees, shin guards, pauldrons, chest, and helmet. In the center of the chest was a larger gem. (4/1800/1200)

“Now, I use Alexandrite's special ability! By sacrificing him, I get to summon a Gem-Knight normal monster from my deck! Now, Alexandrite, open the Gem Portal and call forth Gem-Knight Garnet!”

The large gem began glowing, and a portal opened behind Alexandrite. A new monster stepped out, wearing similar armor to Alexandrite's, only red-orange in color. (4/1900/0) The shine faded from Alexandrite's armor, and Garnet bowed his head as Alexandrite shattered.

“And now, it's time for my Gem-Knights to show off what they do best. I play Gem-Knight Fusion!" Alexander inserted the card into a slot. "With this, I can now fusion summon any Gem-Knight fusion monster! So I'll fuse Garnet with Gem-Knight Sardonyx from my hand to summon Gem-Knight Ruby!”

Sardonyx briefly appeared next to Garnet. He had slightly bulkier armor, upper half colored orange, lower half dark grey. The two were pulled into a vortex, and a new monster emerged. He wore decorated red armor with a billowing blue cape. He twirled a bladed polearm once before leveling it, pointed at Nicholas. (6/2500/1900)

“And now I should point out that Alexandrite and Garnet both gave Gem Crafting a level four Crystal Counter each. Ruby's a level six monster, so that's a level one counter. And from Gem-Knight Fusion, I need to take a quick look.” He pressed a button on his disk, and the information for Gem Crafting appeared. Three markings were shown, indicating the Crystal Counters. “All right, I got a level five counter from that!”

“If you're all done with that," Nicholas interrupted, "I have my own move to make now that you've brought out one of your fusions!”

“What are you talking about? It's still my turn!”

Nicholas smirked. “Yes, but by summoning Gem-Knight Ruby, I can now special summon Fissionist!”

A bolt of black lightning struck the ground in front of Nicholas. A shadowy figure emerged from the dust raised by the strike, vaguely man-shaped, features concealed by an oversized, hooded black cloak. (4/?/0)

“Wait, undefined attack points?" Alexander raised an eyebrow. "Okay, that's either incredibly powerful or amazingly weak.”

“Don't worry about that. Fissionist is always summoned to the field with zero attack points.”

Michael looked concerned. Two of the most powerful cards in the game, Yugi's Slifer the Sky Dragon and Winged Dragon of Ra, had listed scores of undefined, but could be especially powerful. The more cards in the hand, the more attack and defense points Slifer had, and Ra was especially dangerous. If summoned normally, Ra's attack points were the combined attack points of the three sacrificed monsters, and there was it's dreaded point-to-point transfer ability, with all but one life point transferred to Ra's attack points.

Then he looked at Nicholas. He had gained a shadowy aura that seemed to go unnoticed by the rest of the crowd.

“I don't think that's a regular card,” Michael said.

Alexander shrugged. “Well, I guess I'll make this quick. I use Ruby's special ability! By sacrificing a 'Gem-' monster, Ruby gains that monster's attack points. So since I can't attack this turn, I sacrifice Gem-Turtle to keep you from getting a good shot at my life points! Go, Omega Boost!”

Gem-Turtle began glowing red and ran toward Ruby. It leaped at him, dissolving into glowing red motes, which were absorbed by Ruby's armor.

“And with that, I end my turn.”

The final sword vanished, freeing Ruby and Gem-Armadillo.

“And now, it is the beginning of the end for you, Garnet," Nicholas said. "Fissionist, attack Gem-Knight Ruby!”

“But it's got no attack points! You'll destroy your own monster!”

Nicholas smirked. “Oh, but that's where you're wrong. Fissionist has the power to return your fusion monster to your fusion deck and bring the monsters you used to summon it back to your field in attack mode! That's why it's called 'Fissionist!' Go, De-Fusion Bolt!”

The right side of Fissionist's cloak flew open, revealing an arm completely covered in the same black material as the cloak. Fissionist's right hand held a staff that was pointed at Ruby, which shot a bolt of black energy at the fusion monster, who shattered upon impact. Gem-Knights Garnet and Sardonyx appeared on Alexander's field. Fissionist's attack points shot up (0 → 2500)

“Now that your abomination is out of the way, I can send those two right back to the graveyard!”

Nicholas laughed, the dark aura surrounding him becoming more pronounced. The crowd finally noticed it, and began muttering to themselves.

“Alexander Garnet, with the power of Fissionist under my control, I have sealed your defeat!”

~~~​

custom card list:

Spoiler

Gem Crafting
Spell - Continuous
image: Two men operating a machine, crystals near one and gems in front of the machine.
effect: Whenever you summon a "Gem" monster: Place a Level 1 Crystal Counter, Level 2 Crystal Counter, Level 3 Crystal Counter, Level 4 Crystal Counter, or Level 5 Crystal Counter on this card that matches that monster(s)'s Level (if Level 6 or higher, decrease the Level by 5 until it is Level 5 or lower). Whenever you activate a "Gem" Spell or Trap Card: Roll a 6-sided die. If the result is 1-5: Place an appropriate Crystal Counter on the card. If the result is 6: Roll again. If this Card has 2 or more Crystal Counters of the same level: Remove 2 of those Crystal Counters & roll a 6-sided die; add 1 "Gem-Knight" monster from your Deck to your hand whose Level is equal to the level of the removed Crystal Counters if the result is 1-4, or 1 Level higher if the result is 5 or 6. If the removed Crystal Counters are Level 5: Add 1 Level 5 "Gem-Knight" monster from your Deck to your hand if the result is 1-5, or Level 6 or higher if the result is 6 instead. You can only use this effect of "Gem Crafting" once per turn.

Fissionist
DARK/Spellcaster/Effect/4/?/0
effect: When your opponent Fusion Summons a Fusion Monster: Special Summon this card (from your hand or Graveyard). If this monster would battle a Fusion Monster: This monster's ATK becomes equal to that Fusion Monster's ATK, also return it to the Extra Deck, then Special Summon the Fusion Material monsters to your opponent's side of the field in Attack Position. This monster can attack all monsters Special Summoned by this effect.

 

[diamondpearl876]

I've skimmed the fic before reading, and I may have to copy/paste everything into a word document due to the color issue. Any text besides black is extremely hard to read and should be avoided. If you want more readers, I highly suggest getting rid of different color texts.

On a side note, I know very little about Yu-Gi-Oh except everyone I know is obsessed with it. I won't be able to comment about anything fandom-specific, but I can comment about your writing.

Onto actual content!

“Horus, finish this! Black Flame Burst!”

A silver dragon rose into the air and released a massive stream of black flames from its maw. Facing the mighty dragon was a knight on horseback wielding a pair of lances. As the flames engulfed horse and rider, they shattered into countless golden pixels. The fires roared and spread toward a young man wearing a green t-shirt, blue pants, and a rather large device strapped to his left arm. A display began counting down rapidly until it hit zero. Seconds later, the flames and dragon faded as the victorious duelist approached his defeated foe, medium-length brown hair waving in the wind.

This is a good way to start out the fic. The first sentence immediately brings tension into the story, and your description doesn't disappoint. You have a good way of words, though I would suggest getting rid of physical descriptions during action scenes (ie medium-length brown hair, etc). It ruins the flow and isn't really important in the grand scheme of things.

“Let me fill you in on a little secret,” Michael said, putting his right hand in his jeans pocket and pulling the collar of his red t-shirt down slightly. “A sword has no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage. In your case, this means that your deck focuses too much on one monster, and when that goes, so do your chances of winning. Sure, that sounds strange coming from me, since my deck focuses on Horus, but I’ve prepared back-ups for when I lose or don’t yet have Horus. Incorporate other strategies alongside your main goal, and your opponents will be hard-pressed to defeat you.”

Good to see a fic that doesn't automatically assume the main character is better than his/her rival.

At any rate, I like the dialogue you have here. It's not condescending nor does it sugercoat anything, but instead is informative while showing Michael's personality at the same time.

“Too bad I have two ways to stop that plan! You see, in Horus’ second stage of evolution, magic cards don’t even touch him. And of course, there’s the fact that you triggered my trap card!” Pressing a button on his duel disk, the holographic image of Michael’s face down card revealed itself. “With Localization, I now control which player is affected by cards that affect both players. So DNA Surgery will only make your monsters bugs!”

Michael's dialogue here is a bit different compared to what I just quoted. Seems he has a soft spot for his rival.

Yu-Gi-Oh has evolution as well? Good grief.

As a giant hammer rocketed toward Horus, the great dragon breathed black flames at it, causing the hammer to vanish on contact.

The description during the flashback is a little sparse compared to the opening scene. I'd go back and add a little more substance to it. What you do have, however, is nicely worded and good enough for me to visualize.

At those words, a black hole opened above Insect Knight. The creature tried to resist, but the pull was too great as it was swallowed by the now-closed singularity.

"now closed singularity" is a nice phrase.

“My dear boy, you are too much. How Weevil made it to the finals is beyond me.”

I actually remember Pegasus from the show, for whatever reason. You're portraying his character perfectly.

“I knew I could rely on you. Thank you.”

“Well, isn’t this a disgusting sight,” a third man said. “Makes me want to puke.”

“It’s him.”

Have you ever tried script-writing? I have a feeling you'd be very good at it, just reading your dialogue like this. Yu-Gi-Oh can be action-packed, though, so not sure how well the fandom would work in that style.

With the regular novel style you have here, the pace moves quickly thanks to the dialogue. Not sure if that's your intention. If it is, you're doing well. If not, you might want to slow down a bit and add more description about the duels.

A blond-haired boy with a green tunic and pointed hat that went down to his shoulders, brown boots, and long pointed ears appeared next to Horus.

Lol, I see what you did there. Oh, the joys of fanfiction, eh? I enjoyed it.

“Don’t get comfortable. That also triggered my Mystic Tomato’s special ability, allowing me to summon a DARK monster with up to 1500 attack points from my deck in attack mode. I’ll go with a second Mystic Tomato!”

"Mystic Tomato"... Is that a real card name? Oh, boy.

“Behold, the Blue-Eyes White Dragon!”

Ah, yes, I remember that too. A good cliffhanger to end on, that's for sure.

I like that you list the cards, their effects and such, but I would suggest putting it in a spoiler tag so that it clogs up the thread a bit less.

Overall, your writing is solid (grammatically as well as content-wise), but I think you're not getting the audience you want partly because of the color text. You would be better off using "so-and-so said," which I know can be annoying with so much dialogue, but I promise that it won't ruin the flow or deter readers. "said" is just one of those speech tags readers glance over and move on from rather quickly.

 

[Warrior of Fire]

I've skimmed the fic before reading, and I may have to copy/paste everything into a word document due to the color issue. Any text besides black is extremely hard to read and should be avoided. If you want more readers, I highly suggest getting rid of different color texts.

I'll definitely take the color thing under consideration. Since someone else liked the idea, I'll keep going with it for now to get some more opinions on it, so I don't take away something a lot of people like (pending more info on it, naturally). I'll also throw in a plain text version with speaker tags at the beginning of the current three chapters and future chapters in spoiler tags, so readers have the option of which one they want to read and give better feedback on what they'd like better.

On a side note, I know very little about Yu-Gi-Oh except everyone I know is obsessed with it. I won't be able to comment about anything fandom-specific, but I can comment about your writing.

That shouldn't be a problem. The first chapters in the 5Ds and Zexal eras explain the Synchro and Xyz mechanics due to a couple of the protagonists being from the first two eras, and I do try to make it easier to follow for readers interested but don't know anything about it.

Onto actual content!



This is a good way to start out the fic. The first sentence immediately brings tension into the story, and your description doesn't disappoint. You have a good way of words, though I would suggest getting rid of physical descriptions during action scenes (ie medium-length brown hair, etc). It ruins the flow and isn't really important in the grand scheme of things.

Glad you like it. The physical descriptions there were meant to slow down the pace at that moment, since it was a transition from action to exposition.

“Let me fill you in on a little secret,” Michael said, putting his right hand in his jeans pocket and pulling the collar of his red t-shirt down slightly. “A sword has no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage. In your case, this means that your deck focuses too much on one monster, and when that goes, so do your chances of winning. Sure, that sounds strange coming from me, since my deck focuses on Horus, but I’ve prepared back-ups for when I lose or don’t yet have Horus. Incorporate other strategies alongside your main goal, and your opponents will be hard-pressed to defeat you.”

Good to see a fic that doesn't automatically assume the main character is better than his/her rival.

At any rate, I like the dialogue you have here. It's not condescending nor does it sugercoat anything, but instead is informative while showing Michael's personality at the same time.

That balance can be hard to find. Dialogue's actually the easier thing for me to write, to be honest.

“Too bad I have two ways to stop that plan! You see, in Horus’ second stage of evolution, magic cards don’t even touch him. And of course, there’s the fact that you triggered my trap card!” Pressing a button on his duel disk, the holographic image of Michael’s face down card revealed itself. “With Localization, I now control which player is affected by cards that affect both players. So DNA Surgery will only make your monsters bugs!”

Michael's dialogue here is a bit different compared to what I just quoted. Seems he has a soft spot for his rival.

Yu-Gi-Oh has evolution as well? Good grief.

In the midst of a duel, characters tend to get a bit more heated in their dialogue, and that's what you get with Weevil Underwood.

The evolution thing here is an aspect of a group of monsters known as LV monsters. Each set of LV monsters works like this: there are two to four individual monster cards that depict the same creature, in this case, a dragon. Each card has nearly the exact same name, with the only difference being the number; for example, Horus the Black Flame Dragon has three stages - level four, level six, and level eight - and the cards for each stage are named "Horus the Black Flame Dragon LV4," "Horus the Black Flame Dragon LV6," and "Horus the Black Flame Dragon LV8;" when either LV4 or LV6 destroys another monster by battle and sends it to the graveyard, at the end of the turn, the current card is sent to the graveyard and the next stage is summoned, making Horus bigger and more powerful, and giving him a new effect; the highest stage of any LV monster no longer has the "level up/evolution" effect, signifying that it's now the strongest it can be without any equip spells or other effects making them stronger. I just used the term "evolution" because it explains the mechanic without going into intricate detail on it.

As a giant hammer rocketed toward Horus, the great dragon breathed black flames at it, causing the hammer to vanish on contact.

The description during the flashback is a little sparse compared to the opening scene. I'd go back and add a little more substance to it. What you do have, however, is nicely worded and good enough for me to visualize.

And there's that balance issue rearing its ugly head again. Action scenes are a bit easier for me to write in the description department due to not needing a lot, but finding the right amount is still an issue. I am getting better, but I can see I've still got a ways to go.

At those words, a black hole opened above Insect Knight. The creature tried to resist, but the pull was too great as it was swallowed by the now-closed singularity.

"now closed singularity" is a nice phrase.

“My dear boy, you are too much. How Weevil made it to the finals is beyond me.”

I actually remember Pegasus from the show, for whatever reason. You're portraying his character perfectly.

I'm actually a bit surprised I was able to portray him as well as I did when I wrote the first chapter. It's been a while since I've watched the original series, so I wasn't expecting that to be as good as I did it.

“I knew I could rely on you. Thank you.”

“Well, isn’t this a disgusting sight,” a third man said. “Makes me want to puke.”

“It’s him.”

Have you ever tried script-writing? I have a feeling you'd be very good at it, just reading your dialogue like this. Yu-Gi-Oh can be action-packed, though, so not sure how well the fandom would work in that style.

With the regular novel style you have here, the pace moves quickly thanks to the dialogue. Not sure if that's your intention. If it is, you're doing well. If not, you might want to slow down a bit and add more description about the duels.

Funny that you mention script-writing. I'm actually taking a screenwriting class at college. This wouldn't be a good thing to try and write in that style for that very reason.

And yeah, that was my intention. I do want this to move quickly and have a good flow to it while making sure that it doesn't move too fast.

A blond-haired boy with a green tunic and pointed hat that went down to his shoulders, brown boots, and long pointed ears appeared next to Horus.

Lol, I see what you did there. Oh, the joys of fanfiction, eh? I enjoyed it.

Yep, and as I said in the last review response I did, way more than just a mere shout-out.

“Don’t get comfortable. That also triggered my Mystic Tomato’s special ability, allowing me to summon a DARK monster with up to 1500 attack points from my deck in attack mode. I’ll go with a second Mystic Tomato!”

"Mystic Tomato"... Is that a real card name? Oh, boy.

Yes, it is a real card name. I actually have a few copies of it, myself.

“Behold, the Blue-Eyes White Dragon!”

Ah, yes, I remember that too. A good cliffhanger to end on, that's for sure.

Aren't I just evil that way (but not really)?

I like that you list the cards, their effects and such, but I would suggest putting it in a spoiler tag so that it clogs up the thread a bit less.

That's actually a really great idea. I'll go take care of that once I'm done writing this response. And regarding the card list, it does just cover any cards made (those made by me have no credit given, any made by someone else will get credit for their own work when they appear) and any that either only appear in the anime or manga OR have different effects in those than their real life counterparts.

Overall, your writing is solid (grammatically as well as content-wise), but I think you're not getting the audience you want partly because of the color text. You would be better off using "so-and-so said," which I know can be annoying with so much dialogue, but I promise that it won't ruin the flow or deter readers. "said" is just one of those speech tags readers glance over and move on from rather quickly.

Thanks for the review, and glad you've liked it so far even with not being a fan of the franchise. You've giving me plenty to think about going forward, and actually being able to get feedback on both positives and negatives is much more helpful than none at all.

 

[Warrior of Fire]

After two weeks of working on it, I've got the first chapter adjusted for adding the plain text version, and there were a few edits moving around monster stats to after descriptions and adding in two descriptions I discovered that I forgot when doing the edits. Chapter two's just about ready, and I'm gonna start with chapter three as soon as I edit in the plain text version of chapter two.

EDIT: Chapter one has been updated in the thread.

 

[Warrior of Fire]

After being stalled for almost a year due to a combination of writer's block and my hard drive failing, progress on Gates of Time has officially resumed. First thing to note is the massive update in the format. It's now in a typical novel format, with speech tags added for all dialog. Second, before I restart work on chapter four, I'm working on a blog post detailing the origins of one of the characters. You'll see which one when I'm done. Finally, somewhere down the line, I am considering doing a brief crossover event with another Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic series as part of the main bulk of this story that's canon to both. The fics I'm considering are staying secret since no talks have been started yet, so don't expect any crossovers as of this point.

 

[Warrior of Fire]

I have finished the first of the blog series for this story, called "Gates of Time History". The entry, titled "The Hero of Time" gives a very brief overview of Michael's very first adventure. And with that out of the way, I am finally ready to move on to getting back to work on chapter four.