Stratelier
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2012
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I skimmed the first chapter and I hate to say the one thing that sticks out in my mind the most is how ...short... your writing style is. It's strange to see only 300-400 words per chapter (esp. compared to my own writing style; any one of my chapters is longer than your entire story so far!). The biggest thing you learn as you develop and improve your writing skills is how to 'slow down' and take time to paint better visual pictures of what's happening in the story. The Mona Lisa wasn't painted in five minutes....
(For a simple exercise, pick at an everyday object and try to describe everything -- and I do mean absolutely every last detail -- about it, using not less than 1,000 words. Sound difficult? Yeah, but like learning to ride a bicycle, the more you try the easier it gets.)
Oh, and on a technical note you should double space between paragraphs. Having a little visual padding separating them really does make it easier on the reader's eyes because they're not looking at a densely packed "wall of text".
And I have to apologize that I don't have much to say about plot or premise here.
(For a simple exercise, pick at an everyday object and try to describe everything -- and I do mean absolutely every last detail -- about it, using not less than 1,000 words. Sound difficult? Yeah, but like learning to ride a bicycle, the more you try the easier it gets.)
Oh, and on a technical note you should double space between paragraphs. Having a little visual padding separating them really does make it easier on the reader's eyes because they're not looking at a densely packed "wall of text".
And I have to apologize that I don't have much to say about plot or premise here.