- Joined
- Jan 2, 2010
- Messages
- 7,283
- Reaction score
- 3,153
Ok. So now I'm ten chapters in, I suppose now is as good a time as any to do a reflection review.
I'm beginning to see themes emerge with the issues that come to mind each chapter. Length is one thing, which I've already covered. The pacing of the story is another. I'm beginning to think the story would benefit from events being arranged into more coherent arcs. There's this recurring theme where action, be it a Gym battle or a villain - appears with all the suddenness of a shotgun blast and tends to come to an end at an awkward point. Part of that is down to your chapters, I think, where you tend to try and fit too much in and end up running the remainder of the events over into a third of the next chapter.
The second thing took me a while to make up my mind on. The story is so, well, melodramatic. By that I mean that the nice characters are really nice, the villains are really villainous, and there's really not a lot in between. It reminds me of that one Harry Potter line: "The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters." I can see that you're trying with Amara, and honestly, because of that I'm inclined to be rather more patient than I otherwise would be. The problem you're having with her is that she's kind of a Yosemite Sam - so angry, so violent, all the time. It's a shame, really, because you end up poking holes in what's otherwise a decent motivation behind her behaviour.
Having said all this I can see that effort is going into the story, and I'll have infinitely more patience for that than a story that just shrugs and says "It's fantasy so it doesn't have to make sense." There's moments of common sense in there that I wish were in more pokémon fan fic - like an actual police service that actually takes witness statements, for a start.
At this point I think the best advice I can give is to read with one eye open, so to speak. Try and look at how your favourite authors do what you like in their stories. Have a go at emulating those tricks.
I'm beginning to see themes emerge with the issues that come to mind each chapter. Length is one thing, which I've already covered. The pacing of the story is another. I'm beginning to think the story would benefit from events being arranged into more coherent arcs. There's this recurring theme where action, be it a Gym battle or a villain - appears with all the suddenness of a shotgun blast and tends to come to an end at an awkward point. Part of that is down to your chapters, I think, where you tend to try and fit too much in and end up running the remainder of the events over into a third of the next chapter.
The second thing took me a while to make up my mind on. The story is so, well, melodramatic. By that I mean that the nice characters are really nice, the villains are really villainous, and there's really not a lot in between. It reminds me of that one Harry Potter line: "The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters." I can see that you're trying with Amara, and honestly, because of that I'm inclined to be rather more patient than I otherwise would be. The problem you're having with her is that she's kind of a Yosemite Sam - so angry, so violent, all the time. It's a shame, really, because you end up poking holes in what's otherwise a decent motivation behind her behaviour.
Having said all this I can see that effort is going into the story, and I'll have infinitely more patience for that than a story that just shrugs and says "It's fantasy so it doesn't have to make sense." There's moments of common sense in there that I wish were in more pokémon fan fic - like an actual police service that actually takes witness statements, for a start.
At this point I think the best advice I can give is to read with one eye open, so to speak. Try and look at how your favourite authors do what you like in their stories. Have a go at emulating those tricks.