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Somebody set you up the bomb.

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Each year, thousands of individuals are diagnosed with having a skeleton inside of them. This condition is sometimes benign, but in the event of Skeleton Hide-and-go-seek it can become fatal. Please get an x-ray today to see if you are one of the many afflicted.
 
Us damn liberals.

We're always off ruining everything. You know the last time you stepped on a Lego with your bare feet? That was one of our filthy liberal plots to make America crash and burn.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
 
"Inb4 “pix or it didn’t happen”"

"PIX OR… aw… dammit."
 
Did you ever notice how in the Bible, when ever God needed to punish someone, or make an example, or whenever God needed a killing, he sent an angel? Did you ever wonder what a creature like that must be like? A whole existence spent praising your God, but always with one wing dipped in blood. Would you ever really want to see an angel?
 
It's hard to pull your foot out of your mouth when your head is up your ass.
 
You may have seen what I did there but do you see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
 
That has caused me extreme confusion lately. It burns my intestines.
 
We all know that different species have specific habitats they prefer. Bats live in caves, koalas live in eucalyptus forests and yellow sac spiders live in 2009 and 2010 four-cylinder Mazda6 evaporative canister vents.
 
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