ShadowDeeps
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  • I re-read the blog post, which you dedicated to myself oh those far long years ago.. I must have disappointed, have I not? Years shall change individuals, that being normal part of life, living.. but I seem to recall a time when I wasn't so reflective, melancholic, full of gloom. You must already be aware, that the years since my decision to leave, haven't necessarily been the kindest to myself, if past / previous PM's are anything to go by. I still wish i knew the reason why I returned here, perhaps I wanted some form of solace? Closure? I assume.. what I'm attempting to say, is, reading your blog post.. made me realize many things, things I wished I still held on to to this day. I have difficulty, believing that I was once, that happy. It must sound silly, correct? I no longer possess the ability to make others 'smile' if I myself cannot. I'm not certain.. how i managed to become closely acquainted with those I used to know. I don't want to give up, to give in.

    Forgive me, Wes. Perhaps I should have responded in a PM / E-mail. I'm attempting not to neglect messages.
    been a bit stressed out I guess, this place is one of my few refuges! what have you been up to lately?
    I'm terribly sorry of my very late reply.
    I'm doing ok buddy. JUST BEEN really inactive because of University problems things to do.. How are you?
    It's pointless to speak of, I think. It's more of a nuisance if anything. Maybe it's just me being negative.
    Thanks. The job market seems to be a bit erratic where I am these days.

    Your right there and I agree but gaining that confidence is another thing.
    I'm starting to think that if I suspect a post is there to cause an arguement then it's best to pretend it doesn't exist. In other words ignore it like others have told me. It's easier said than done though.

    I mean arguing doesn't work because obviously it'll get very bad. Going with the opinion and against your own opinion doesn't work because your lying to yourself and causes guilt later.

    The only thing that would work is just not engage the post that causing the issues with an answer. No arguement or sway can happen if the post causing issues is ignored.

    I seem to have trouble with this and that's one thing I need to work on.

    You are right, it is just entertainment in the end like any cartoon. That's why I enjoy it in the end.=)
    Doing okay. I'm job hunting as of late.

    Having mixed feelings about the pokemon anime fandom aswell. I seem to always get myself involved in discussions mainly on many parts of the net where I start thinking later whether it was such a good idea to involve myself in the first place.^-^;;;;

    Sometimes I just tone down my feelings so people don't actually get the full brunt of my opinion sometimes because I'm very cautious that way. Don't like getting involved in arguements personally.^-^;;;;;;
    Other times I sometimes get swayed in directions due to debates where I wonder how on earth I got swayed towards the opinion of that other person in the first place because in some cases I literally jump into agreeing with something then a couple of days later I'm like "wait I don't agree with that. What the hell was I thinking.o_O"

    I guess I really need to work on not being swayed.=(

    Sometimes I think I'm a glutton for punishment since I seem to get involved in these things. Probably why I can't seem to make many friends online that actually want to talk about stuff I want to talk about.

    I have different opinions on the anime to some people. I've managed to get these feelings out to a few people but I still get swayed on occasions during conversation. Oddly despite the swaying I end up going back to square one and trying again from scratch. My original opinion never ends up changing permanently so it's not all bad. Just a bit mixed and maybe it's due to lack of confidence. I sometimes get worried about what people think of me for liking certain things...........
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