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Corrupt a Wish v2

Granted, but they're actually tube worms and they eat your legs off.

I wish for a free bag of pork rinds and bottle of diet root beer.
 
Granted, but the pork rinds stay exactly as they are and the Root beer is flavored Sulfuric acid.

I wish I knew the meaning of life.
 
Granted-your head explodes the moment you know what it is.
I wish for a Turkey sandwich-that's not a Zombie turkey or anything like that!
 
Granted, you are punched by an angry grimer and you get sick

I wish for the perfect hiding spot
 
Granted, but it's in a giant monster's stomach.

I wish I was able to push all seven continents back together.
 
Granted, but you die immediately after from using all your energy.

I wish I could become a spy.
 
A flock of Pyros swarms you. All that's left of you is a pile of ashes.

I wish for a sandwich.
 
I ate it before you could get it

I wish the next pokemon game will come within the next 1.5 years
 
Granted, but when all the new features are announced, you die of excitement.

I wish for a lighter.
 
Granted, you get sick, then someone tests a new medicine on you, but the side effect is loss of hand-eye coordination.

I wish for a book.
 
Granted, But it's 'The Great Big Book of Graphic Pictures of Decaying Corpses and Carcasses'

I wish I had known that earlier.
 
Granted, you knew about it when you were a baby, but forgot soon after.

I wish for a good guitar.
 
Granted, but it turns out it was stolen, so you get arrested.

I wish the God Stone item in Pokemon Black and White had a use.
 
Granted, but then God finds out that Pokemon is using his name without His expressed written consent, and smites you for enjoying it.

I wish my cats would stop dying.
 
Granted, they are constantly making a horrible screeching noise and have no fur.

I wish for less stupidity.
 
Granted, but you will become so smart that your personality will change and you will be really boring and nobody would want to be your friend.

I wish teh Mudkipz never existed.
 
Now even more people liek Marshtompz.

I wish for an Aperture Science Edgeless Safety Cube.
 
Granted, but...

What?
Aperture Science Edgeless Safety Cube is evolving!
Congratulations! Your Aperture Science Edgeless Safety Cube has evolved into Nothing!

I wish Weedle would evolve into a Piplup.
 
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