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Corrupt a Wish v2

Granted. You got them as CDrs, all of which were pressed roughly 16 years ago. Even the recent ones.
I wish I was old enough to drink.
 
Granted. You are no longer considered attractive by humans.
I wish sturgeons would abide by a moral code.
 
Granted, but the trout have been looking a little shifty lately...

I wish for an end to corruption.
 
Granted. Policemen everywhere lose their jobs.
I wish DC handled Lian Harper's death a lot better.
 
Granted, you get all the Monopoly money your heart desires.

I wish for the world's most comfortable couch
 
Granted! But you're not a mole as in the animal, but the moles you find on a person's skin.
I wish I had a functioning vintage hassleblad camera.
 
Granted: You have the camera, but no one has film for it, anywhere, ever.

I wish I were graduated from college already!
 
Granted. Now you have no clue of what you want in life.

I wish for a glass of orange juice.
 
Granted, now orange juice is the only drink you can have, and you cannot have any water.

I wish I could get a nice job with good payment and NEVER get fired.
 
Granted, but the Martians hate your guts.

I wish for total pwnage.
 
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