EVERYONE: - Complete Experimentation

[Anime Psyclone]

Spoiler

The following notes were found in an abandoned laboratry crawling with Dittos.
It’s been so long since I saw the legendary Mew... Oh wait! I still have it’s DNA! I can make more and sell them for a high price!

20/11: The six clones seem to have turned out fine. Await further analysis.

31/11: The clones's eyes have grown smaller and their skin is more purplish.

5/12: The clones have had severe facial degradation. Their eyes are just dots now.

10/12: The clones seem to have slightly ‘melted’, a la their tail tips and hands seem to be dripping.

18/12:The clones are purple now. Dripping has continued, all tail and limbs dripping.

25/12: The clones have changed into purple blobs. Experiment failed.

28/12: The clones seem to have multiplied. They seem to be able to transform as well, a rumored power of Mew.

1/1: I have released the clones and their clones into a cavern. I don’t know what will happen to the local ecosystem, but I hope it’s okay.

Based on the notes, it seems six Mew clones degraded into the Pokemon we know as Ditto. The notes have provided us with great info on how Ditto came to be.

 

[TRNatalie]

I found the way you told the story through the lab reports interesting. This line made me laugh because it's so true after you read Killer Species.

I have released the clones and their clones into a cavern. I don’t know what will happen to the local ecosystem, but I hope it’s okay.

 

[Persephone]

Microfiction is hard. You don't have any of the advantages of characters, plot, setting, etc. and have to basically rely on a strong opening and well crafted sentences. Found writing fiction is also hard because it requires weaving a pieces out of events that are not written like a conventional story. And while I really like the concept, I'm not sure this quite works. To run through some things:

It’s been so long since I saw the legendary Mew... Oh wait! I still have it’s DNA! I can make more and sell them for a high price!

Why would you write things down like a wave of thoughts? Writing is usually deliberate. And how does one forget they have the DNA of what's essentially a mythical creature? I would've preferred an opening bit that laid out something simple like "Date: this is the documentation of Attempt # to clone the mythical pokemon Mew from samples believed to be its DNA." Simple, conveys things, sounds like it was written by a guy capable of cloning a god.

31/11: The clones's eyes have grown smaller and their skin is more purplish.

See, this entry to me doesn't sound at all like someone who could've cloned Mew single-handledly. I suggest reading an actual published report from a biologist describing a species. Google scholar is pretty useful for that. Then try and replicate the general scientific style. It'll make things sound more plausible and add to the... I think this is supposed to be horror? I'm not really sure what type of emotion you're going for, which is a problem.

The best fiction, even microfiction, is designed to make readers feel a certain way. I'm not sure what you're trying to make me feel here. Am I supposed to laugh? Be afraid? I don't know and it's my second problem with the work after the style.

It's a good idea and I love unethical science horror. But the execution could've been better.