Kyuuketsuki
◓Gypsy Vanner Horse
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2009
- Messages
- 2,225
- Reaction score
- 20
Re: How to Conquer Kanto in Eight Easy Steps - Chapter 55
This is a review of the prologue & the first blog, as requested on the Review Game.
For the prologue, I thought it was a great hook, with whatever Gideon had been working on very much the ultimate plot point in the story. I found it great that it wasn't capitalised on as much as one would expect, but wasn't neglected either. As expected from you, great description throughout; it doesn't pander to the readers, and that is a difficult thing to master. Some word confusion is scattered, but it's not enough to take you out of the story.
My only other complaint is John and Arthur. They will probably be important characters later on in the story, but they haven't done anything memorable, and unlike Gideon, they seem to have been pushed to the back of the story. But as I said before; the prologue was great the way it was, so giving them attention would probably detract from the prologue, and removes the compact feel that, in my opinion, all prologues should have.
Moving to the first blog is almost like reading a different story. By its nature, blogs are different from fiction, but I like the healthy mix you got here, especially because of Alaska's deconstructive views. I love stories that aim to parody or lampshade a genre, and seeing it be implemented as a personality trait for the main character is a refreshing way of doing it. However, what I feel this blog does really well is give us a sense of how naive Alaska is, which is often neglected in journey stories. As any starting character, she has a lot to learn, and I'm glad that came across in the first blog.
Very few mistakes are scattered around the chapter, but like the prologue, they're don't detract from the story. I'm quite interested now, and I will continue to the first chapter and beyond when I have the time!
This is a review of the prologue & the first blog, as requested on the Review Game.
For the prologue, I thought it was a great hook, with whatever Gideon had been working on very much the ultimate plot point in the story. I found it great that it wasn't capitalised on as much as one would expect, but wasn't neglected either. As expected from you, great description throughout; it doesn't pander to the readers, and that is a difficult thing to master. Some word confusion is scattered, but it's not enough to take you out of the story.
My only other complaint is John and Arthur. They will probably be important characters later on in the story, but they haven't done anything memorable, and unlike Gideon, they seem to have been pushed to the back of the story. But as I said before; the prologue was great the way it was, so giving them attention would probably detract from the prologue, and removes the compact feel that, in my opinion, all prologues should have.
Moving to the first blog is almost like reading a different story. By its nature, blogs are different from fiction, but I like the healthy mix you got here, especially because of Alaska's deconstructive views. I love stories that aim to parody or lampshade a genre, and seeing it be implemented as a personality trait for the main character is a refreshing way of doing it. However, what I feel this blog does really well is give us a sense of how naive Alaska is, which is often neglected in journey stories. As any starting character, she has a lot to learn, and I'm glad that came across in the first blog.
Very few mistakes are scattered around the chapter, but like the prologue, they're don't detract from the story. I'm quite interested now, and I will continue to the first chapter and beyond when I have the time!