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A Not So Typical Joureny


Active Member
Oct 24, 2013
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Battery about to die. Don't read yet.I yawned as I climbed out of bed. I was short and skin with pale skin. My hair was black, spiky, and shiet. I pulled on a t-shirt and some jeans, perfect for traveling. Today I would get my first pokemon. I had been waiting for years for this day.
After a quick breakfast, I was ready to leave. "Don't forget your bag, honey," my mom called. She had long, black hair and a waem smile. I quickly thanked her as I grabbed my bag and left. I was going to miss Oldale Town. I remembered when I was young. My friends and I would always pretend to be trainers traveling the region, beating bad guys and getting gym badges. I would always get the fire starter.
Route 101 was especially nice that day. The Taillow were singing and the Zigzagoon were scurrying through the thick, green grass. Overhead a flock of wingulls flew out to the ocean. About halfway through I decided to stop for a picnic. Finding a spot in the shade I sprayed my repel and set up a blanket.
While I sat there, esting my PB & J, a Wurmple was watching hungrily. I tore off a small piece and tossed to the small red caterpillar
After that my walk was pretty uneventful. Suddenly I could see Littleroot, the town that would make my dreams a reality in the distance. I could see the spaekling solar panels on the lab's roof and I instantly started sprinting.
As I reached the town I saw people relaxing and playing with their pokemon. A couple of little kids were chasing after a Plusle and Minle and an old man sat by a zigzagoon. As I walked up to the lab, something felt wrong. The door was slightly of it's hinges and there was no noise coming from the kab. Shrugging it off, I twisted the knob and walked in.
Standing inside were 2 men in red uniforms with hoods, and the professor Professor Birch) backed against the wall. Slowly, the 2 men turned to me, unsure of what to do.
"Hey kid, the professor's busy right now, so why don't you come back later." I stood there, frozen. "How about this," the other man started, "you leave and you can get a pokemon," he said with a smile (add some subtle detail that hints his smile isn't sincere).
My eyes travelled across the room, looking for a Poke Ball I could save him with. "Uh, my name's Drake--my mom told me to not talk to suspicious looking people," I said while invhing to a pokeball I had found.
"Ah Ha!" I yelled as I tossed the pokeball. Suddenly, a golbat swooped and grabbed the pokeball, mid-air. They both looked at me.
"Playtime's over, kid."

I woke up in a small room with stone walls. And it was hot. Really hot. Like, inside of a volcano hot. (this is a good start--was there anything else in the prison cell? What emotions is Drake feeling at this point) Suddenly a small section of the wall moved with a loud scraping noise. I tried to get up, but I was tied up. A man in a red uniform, much like the ones the men in the lab wore but without a hood, walked in with an air of confidence like he owned the place.
"Your name's Drake, correct?" he asked.
"Yes," I answered.
"Tell me what happened, why you're here?" he asked. So I told him about how I left Oldale Town to get my first Pokemon. About the two men in the lab. About my failed attempt to help the protect the professor. He nodded then asked, "Do you like the land?"
"Yes, of course."
"Don't you agree that there should be more? Almost everything we do is on land. We need land. Without it, we could not be this far in civilization today." I nodded, agreeing. "What would happen if there was more water, higher oceans, less land. People would drown. Towns would flood. We would be devastated. Soon we will run out of land. Forests will be chopped to make room for cities. Pokemon's habitats will disapear and whole species will go extinct. Do you want this to happen?"
"No," I said quickly.
"Would you do anything to make more land?"
"Yes," I said excitedly.
"What if I told you can?" he said with a grin. "And weren't you wanting a Pokemon?"
He untied me and I followed him out of the room. To my surprise, we actully were in a volcano. There were walkways sprawled all around the walls and many tunnels heading deeper underground (don't forget lava flows and steam vents). "Welcome to Team Magma's headquarters," he said spreading his arms wide.
He walked into a room obviously expecting me to follow. When I walked in I saw three Poke Balls.
"What Pokemon are they?" I asked excitedly.
"Zubat, Slugma, and Poocheyena. Which do you want?"
I looked at each one thinking about it. I wasn't a big fan of Zubat even though Crobat was pretty cool. Mighteyena was cool but (but what?). I looked at Slugma's Poke Ball and made my decision. (why Slugma?) I reached for the Poke Ball I wanted and Maxie nodded in approval. I followed him deeper into in the volcano, away from the open crater. We walked into another room with a weird machine. He told me to put my new Poke Ball into the machine. I heard a bunch of noises and the pokeball came out looking completely different. It was red with an epic looking M on the button. "How about you meet your new friend," Maxie told me. I grabbed the pokeball and released my first Pokemon. Slugma. (what does Slugma look like?)Hey guys, second try at my first fan fic. Comments on how I can approve would be great. I know I,m not perfect and neither is my fic. Here goes

Chap. 1 A not so typical beginning
The thing I like most about this passage, are the short sentences.
The way you explain things in brief; quickly. I really like it.

That being said, it would most definitely benefit from some editing, particularly in regards to spelling.
Still, that aside, it's quite good :)
Please note: The thread is from 10 years ago.
Please take the age of this thread into consideration in writing your reply. Depending on what exactly you wanted to say, you may want to consider if it would be better to post a new thread instead.
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