GastlyGibus
World's worst critic
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2013
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So, I was hanging out in the Writers Workshop general chat thread, and everybody was talking about fan-fiction, about how it's good practice, etc.... One thing I noticed is that a lot of people here have written what's called a "Journey Fic," which is essentially a Pokemon fan-fic about a kid who goes on a Pokemon journey. It's something you see a lot of in this fandom. Then I realized, I never did a journey fic. However, I didn't want to make another "typical" journey fic about some random kid that goes on a journey and yada-yada-yada. So, I thought of ways to make different... to put a unique twist on it, while still having it be a journey fic. The result should be apparent once you start reading.
Anyways, as always, comments and constructive criticism are welcome, and encouraged. This is the first time I've written a story entirely in the first-person perspective, so I'm prone to mess up. If there is something you felt could have been better, do let me know, please! I know this chapter is a little short, but future chapters should be much longer.
Without further ado, here you go. Enjoy!
The darkness began to creep into the forest, creating a sense of calm and peace. All the taillow were off sleeping in their nests, and the other pokemon were doing likewise. I could faintly hear the Shroomish as they scurried off to their homes. The trees were rustling, loose leaves falling to the ground as the Slakoth were moving to their nests as well. And while everybody was packing up and calling it a night, here I was, foraging for spare food in the dark.
Maybe I’m a little paranoid. I am willing to acknowledge that. Going out in the dead of night to gather spare rations “just in case” might seem like a ludicrous thing to do. But you never know what might happen the next day. What if I was cornered into my home by an angry swellow? Or a wild poochyena saw fit to wreak terror? As a wurmple, my poison sting is my only real defense, and to be honest, I’m not very confident that a measly little poison sting is going to chase off a predator three times my size. So I gather food at night, in the rare event that I am trapped in my own home and require food and water. Of course, such a thing has never happened before, for which I am thankful, but you never can be sure. I believe there’s a saying about being safe than sorry that applies here, but that’s besides the point.
I scurried through the tall grass, keeping an eye out for any would-be predators. It was almost midnight, so fortunately, most if not all of the predators in these woods were most likely sleeping. Still, I had to be cautious. I silently crept about, finding a good, sizeable tree to gather food from. My sustenance was in high supply and low demand; leaves and sap from the trees - just the way I liked it. Using the natural suction pads on my feet, I quickly made my way towards the top of the tree, where my bounty lay. Reaching the top branches, I looked out over the forest ground. Even with the darkness all around, I could see the layout of it all. The patches of tall grass, the ledges and trees scattered abroad. It was breathtaking, to say the least. But I wasn’t here for sightseeing; I had a job to do. I went to work picking off spare leaves, dropping them to the ground one by one. I would collect them later.
I continued my work uninterrupted for several minutes, until a slight rustling of leaves down below caught my attention. I turned my gaze down, seeing the source of the noise: a slakoth on the branch just below mine. He looked at me with that traditional dim-witted expression I’ve come to know so well from his species. I returned his gaze, engaging in a rather awkward staring contest, his eyes not leaving mine. What on earth did this fool want?
“Can I help you?” I said, trying my best to be polite to the fellow. He continued to stare at me for several seconds, and I began to wonder if he even heard me. I sighed, irritation beginning to creep up inside me.
“I said, can I--”
“What’re you doin’, wormy-dude?” the slakoth interrupted, his words long and drawn out. He sounded like he was only half awake, and knowing his species, he probably was. He was lying on his stomach, arms and legs hanging limp off the branch he loafed on. Thankfully, slakoth posed no threat to me, so I continued my work as I thought of an answer to his query.
“I’m gathering spare food for the night,” I answered calmly, not willing to indulge the slakoth with a more detailed answer. He probably didn’t care anyways.
“Well, yeah, I see that, wormy-dude…” he replied, his face still bearing that blank, goofy smile. “But it’s, like, really late out, you know?”
“Exactly,” I answered, wishing that the slakoth would just stop talking. I suppose it wouldn’t matter though, as I was nearing the completion of my foraging. “Every other pokemon is asleep now, which means I can work in safety, without the threat of predators.”
“Oooohhhhh…” the slakoth said in a sudden realization. Or maybe he didn’t understand at all? It didn’t matter. I was finished. I gathered a few more leaves as some last minute additions, then began to crawl down the tree to my bounty below. The slakoth followed my movements, giving a small wave goodbye as I left. “Take care, wormy-dude.”
“I intend to,” I replied calmly. Well, at least the slakoth fellow was nice, albeit a tad nosey. Once on the ground, I quickly gathered the leaves I had picked from the tree, retreating to my nest. At this rate, I’d be home in no time and be able to get a decent night’s sleep - something which was becoming increasingly difficult to do with my late night foraging, but it was necessary for my own peace of mind. No rest for the weary and all that.
I had made it back to my nest: a small tunnel I had dug out in an opening located at the base of a large tree. The hole was just small enough for me to squeeze through, and ensured that no predators could chase me through. Home sweet home.
Just when I thought I was home free, I heard a rustling in the tall grass to my right. I quickly turned my gaze, dropping my rations in a panic.
“W-who’s there?!” I asked nervously. I focused intently on the tall blades of grass, keeping an eye out for any signs of movement. I couldn’t see anything moving, but I heard the rustling still. As logical and sound as it would have been to retreat with haste, I couldn’t move, paralyzed by fear. Curse my paranoia….
Suddenly, I saw the grass shifting, and a blue blur popped out - a mudkip, jumping right in front of my gaze!
“Waah!” I screamed, beginning to run back to my tunnel, completely abandoning my gathered spoils. Before I had even traveled more than a foots distance, I heard a voice call out.
“Goulelly!youseatacuhlatahk!”
Before I could even begin to process the garbled mess that I had heard, the mudkip leapt at me, ramming into me in a tackle that sent me sprawling away on the ground. I moaned in pain, rolling over on my side. I was caught completely off-guard, taken aback by surprise, unable to move. The tackle knocked the wind out of me, and I felt as if I would pass out, just barely clinging on to consciousness, when the strange voice called out again.
“Poekuhbawl!Gou!”
I blinked several times, trying to clear my blurring vision. I couldn’t see clearly, but what I did see was enough to make me flinch. A multi-colored projectile came flying towards me, tapping my limp form and blasting out a beam of red energy. In seconds, my entire form was surrounded in the red aura, and soon, my vision faded to black. I couldn’t see, but I could feel. I had been trapped! I struggled, desperately trying to free myself from this newfound prison, but in my delirious and pained state, it was a futile effort. I heard a clicking sound, and wearily resigned myself to exhaustion. Just before I passed out, I heard that strange voice again, muttering more unintelligible sounds:
“Wealcuhmtuthateehm!”
Anyways, as always, comments and constructive criticism are welcome, and encouraged. This is the first time I've written a story entirely in the first-person perspective, so I'm prone to mess up. If there is something you felt could have been better, do let me know, please! I know this chapter is a little short, but future chapters should be much longer.
Without further ado, here you go. Enjoy!
*****
Chapter One: I knew I should have stayed home today...
Chapter One: I knew I should have stayed home today...
The darkness began to creep into the forest, creating a sense of calm and peace. All the taillow were off sleeping in their nests, and the other pokemon were doing likewise. I could faintly hear the Shroomish as they scurried off to their homes. The trees were rustling, loose leaves falling to the ground as the Slakoth were moving to their nests as well. And while everybody was packing up and calling it a night, here I was, foraging for spare food in the dark.
Maybe I’m a little paranoid. I am willing to acknowledge that. Going out in the dead of night to gather spare rations “just in case” might seem like a ludicrous thing to do. But you never know what might happen the next day. What if I was cornered into my home by an angry swellow? Or a wild poochyena saw fit to wreak terror? As a wurmple, my poison sting is my only real defense, and to be honest, I’m not very confident that a measly little poison sting is going to chase off a predator three times my size. So I gather food at night, in the rare event that I am trapped in my own home and require food and water. Of course, such a thing has never happened before, for which I am thankful, but you never can be sure. I believe there’s a saying about being safe than sorry that applies here, but that’s besides the point.
I scurried through the tall grass, keeping an eye out for any would-be predators. It was almost midnight, so fortunately, most if not all of the predators in these woods were most likely sleeping. Still, I had to be cautious. I silently crept about, finding a good, sizeable tree to gather food from. My sustenance was in high supply and low demand; leaves and sap from the trees - just the way I liked it. Using the natural suction pads on my feet, I quickly made my way towards the top of the tree, where my bounty lay. Reaching the top branches, I looked out over the forest ground. Even with the darkness all around, I could see the layout of it all. The patches of tall grass, the ledges and trees scattered abroad. It was breathtaking, to say the least. But I wasn’t here for sightseeing; I had a job to do. I went to work picking off spare leaves, dropping them to the ground one by one. I would collect them later.
I continued my work uninterrupted for several minutes, until a slight rustling of leaves down below caught my attention. I turned my gaze down, seeing the source of the noise: a slakoth on the branch just below mine. He looked at me with that traditional dim-witted expression I’ve come to know so well from his species. I returned his gaze, engaging in a rather awkward staring contest, his eyes not leaving mine. What on earth did this fool want?
“Can I help you?” I said, trying my best to be polite to the fellow. He continued to stare at me for several seconds, and I began to wonder if he even heard me. I sighed, irritation beginning to creep up inside me.
“I said, can I--”
“What’re you doin’, wormy-dude?” the slakoth interrupted, his words long and drawn out. He sounded like he was only half awake, and knowing his species, he probably was. He was lying on his stomach, arms and legs hanging limp off the branch he loafed on. Thankfully, slakoth posed no threat to me, so I continued my work as I thought of an answer to his query.
“I’m gathering spare food for the night,” I answered calmly, not willing to indulge the slakoth with a more detailed answer. He probably didn’t care anyways.
“Well, yeah, I see that, wormy-dude…” he replied, his face still bearing that blank, goofy smile. “But it’s, like, really late out, you know?”
“Exactly,” I answered, wishing that the slakoth would just stop talking. I suppose it wouldn’t matter though, as I was nearing the completion of my foraging. “Every other pokemon is asleep now, which means I can work in safety, without the threat of predators.”
“Oooohhhhh…” the slakoth said in a sudden realization. Or maybe he didn’t understand at all? It didn’t matter. I was finished. I gathered a few more leaves as some last minute additions, then began to crawl down the tree to my bounty below. The slakoth followed my movements, giving a small wave goodbye as I left. “Take care, wormy-dude.”
“I intend to,” I replied calmly. Well, at least the slakoth fellow was nice, albeit a tad nosey. Once on the ground, I quickly gathered the leaves I had picked from the tree, retreating to my nest. At this rate, I’d be home in no time and be able to get a decent night’s sleep - something which was becoming increasingly difficult to do with my late night foraging, but it was necessary for my own peace of mind. No rest for the weary and all that.
I had made it back to my nest: a small tunnel I had dug out in an opening located at the base of a large tree. The hole was just small enough for me to squeeze through, and ensured that no predators could chase me through. Home sweet home.
Just when I thought I was home free, I heard a rustling in the tall grass to my right. I quickly turned my gaze, dropping my rations in a panic.
“W-who’s there?!” I asked nervously. I focused intently on the tall blades of grass, keeping an eye out for any signs of movement. I couldn’t see anything moving, but I heard the rustling still. As logical and sound as it would have been to retreat with haste, I couldn’t move, paralyzed by fear. Curse my paranoia….
Suddenly, I saw the grass shifting, and a blue blur popped out - a mudkip, jumping right in front of my gaze!
“Waah!” I screamed, beginning to run back to my tunnel, completely abandoning my gathered spoils. Before I had even traveled more than a foots distance, I heard a voice call out.
“Goulelly!youseatacuhlatahk!”
Before I could even begin to process the garbled mess that I had heard, the mudkip leapt at me, ramming into me in a tackle that sent me sprawling away on the ground. I moaned in pain, rolling over on my side. I was caught completely off-guard, taken aback by surprise, unable to move. The tackle knocked the wind out of me, and I felt as if I would pass out, just barely clinging on to consciousness, when the strange voice called out again.
“Poekuhbawl!Gou!”
I blinked several times, trying to clear my blurring vision. I couldn’t see clearly, but what I did see was enough to make me flinch. A multi-colored projectile came flying towards me, tapping my limp form and blasting out a beam of red energy. In seconds, my entire form was surrounded in the red aura, and soon, my vision faded to black. I couldn’t see, but I could feel. I had been trapped! I struggled, desperately trying to free myself from this newfound prison, but in my delirious and pained state, it was a futile effort. I heard a clicking sound, and wearily resigned myself to exhaustion. Just before I passed out, I heard that strange voice again, muttering more unintelligible sounds:
“Wealcuhmtuthateehm!”
*****
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