I like this thread; it seems so ludicrous to me. I in no way find am and will to be too unnatural-sounding. This seems to be cavilling at its pettiest, but welcome to the fandom, I guess.
Even speaking as a linguist, I find that this is madness; if I'm and I'll are more common than will and am, respectively, then I'll eat my hat; the two, at best, have a roughly equal distribution (this is, of course, disregarding non-SAE dialects). I find it quite hard to believe that the average person finds am and will to be unnatural when compared to the 'll and 'm clitics, let alone in general, quotidian speech.
OP, I am genuinely curious: did you even consider other dialects (or, for that matter, SAE) before you posted this, or are you just going by what you have seen in movies and have heard in your area?
Even speaking as a linguist, I find that this is madness; if I'm and I'll are more common than will and am, respectively, then I'll eat my hat; the two, at best, have a roughly equal distribution (this is, of course, disregarding non-SAE dialects). I find it quite hard to believe that the average person finds am and will to be unnatural when compared to the 'll and 'm clitics, let alone in general, quotidian speech.
OP, I am genuinely curious: did you even consider other dialects (or, for that matter, SAE) before you posted this, or are you just going by what you have seen in movies and have heard in your area?